PLAYOFFS!? Well, Yes Actually

The SMRTest sports yakkers in the land say that this fixture is the most unlikely to produce an upset. And they’re probably right. [rising voice] “But you never know…”

To The Game!

Rams/Panteros:

-Cackalacky limped into these playoffs but does anyone care to recall that this was a rebuilding year for the team and that they’ve exceeded every expectation that was placed on them?

-Okay, fine. Most every year is a rebuilding year. Whatever.

-The Rams D was an intimidating unit earlier in the season but limped down the home stretch. They allowed an average of 28ppg their last half-dozen outings.

-During that weird upset earlier in the season the Panteros forced three turnovers and had a pick six. They also converted two 4th down plays into TD’s and snapped Stafford’s 28 game consecutive TD throws streak. Something along those lines will have to happen again and the odds are much like your high school crush texting you out of the blue 40 years down the road.

-Carolina will have to slow the game right down and make it as low-scoring as possible. Does Dowdle have a third 200+ scrimmage yard game in him? He did it back-to-back in October which was a looong time ago.

-Los Panteros have 31 players on their roster that have never played in the postseason. Did I mention that this was a rebuilding year?

-The Rams get Davante Adams back finally. Carolina has the slightly above-average Jaycee Horn at one corner but after that? Yeesh.

-Keep an eye out for Derrick Brown on the Panteros defensive line, the guy has been beastly all season.

Enjoy the game.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
179 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Bogdanski

https://doorfliesopen.com/2019/01/27/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-special-the-biggol-pre-superb-owl-chili-post/
Cobbled together some hybrid that will hopefully resemble chili in a few hours. Probably should have picked one recipe and then gone to the store. Oh, well, it’s simmering and smells OK so far. Thanks yeah right!
What are your thoughts on a garlic press vs chopped? I chopped these but dr Mrs my wife swears by the press and seems to almost want me to cut myself whilst chopping

Gumbygirl

I think a garlic press is a pain in the ass to clean.

BC Dick

Just mince it, right? You wouldn’t press an onion, would you?

Doktor Zymm

If you press you don’t have to peel, and the peel holds it all together so there’s less stuff to clean

Beerguyrob

Also, during my meeting the updates on this game made my phone buzz like your mom’s vibrator.

IMG_2634
Beerguyrob

Home in time for the start of the third quarter. There is a god!

BC Dick

I’ve been trying and failing to get my stereo working for almost 8 years and I’m about ready to get a hi-if professional in to figure it out.

Last edited 1 month ago by BC Dick
Gumbygirl

Whoa chief. Don’t make any hasty decisions!

Mr. Ayo

Did you try plugging it in?

WCS

Somehow Dale Earnhardt Inc. is at fault.

Gumbygirl

Why don’t they just shoot through the windshield?

Horatio Cornblower

Nacua would have caught that ball if it weren’t for the Jewish space lasers in his eyes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is as perfectly thrown of a pass as you’re ever going to see.

WCS

That pass was a DEI WOKE PASS.

fleshwound_NPG

cte already getting to puka?!

Don T

Yeah that was odd. Nacua has surer hands than Madre clutching a soiled napkin with some white still left.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think he just didn’t see it until too late.

Unsurprised

Eww. Has anyone had a longer bad more successful career based around being a shit father than John Walsh?

Gatoraids

he’s definitely blaming weather control with that pass

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s probably preoccupied worrying about the potential overthrow of the Iranian regime. Enemy of my enemy and all that.

Unsurprised

Fair enough. The schwarma is good and I got to see Panthers fans celebrating

WCS

Bryce Young and the Black Panthers, welcome to the Playoffs. Loogit yinz guys, acting all cromulent!

Unsurprised

We’ve replace Bryce Young with 2016 Cam Newton. Let’s see what happens.

Gumbygirl

Fatthew shoulda run for it. Lumbered? Trundled?

ThePirateSloth

comment image

Gatoraids

tush too big to push

Unsurprised

Does Stanford know he’s no longer on the Lions?

WCS

https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/recap/_/gameId/401827614

comment image
comment image

Ice Stillers trailing Ice Stamps, 2-1 in the third. Yes, “Renegade” was played during a TV timeout at the hawkey game, because Yinzers gon Yinz.

Unsurprised

I didn’t want to leave the house and now it’s costing me a fortune (pov). But at least I have football to wat— fuck.

ThePirateSloth

Same energy
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Didn’t catch a single one?” – Coach Reid, shaking his head in disappointment

Gumbygirl

Yesssssss!

fleshwound_NPG

yea, thats it

Doktor Zymm

SUDDEN MORE OF THE SAME!

King Hippo

that’s right, off the field with you, big fat fucking failure!!

ThePirateSloth

The Thicker Kicker? Pffffffffffft he’s no Cameron Dicker, DFO’s Favorite Kicker

Gatoraids

insult to the memory of Janikowski

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio and I are finally healthy and testing negative, so we’re going out for Mexican tonight.

Very much looking forward to it, expect for the whole “putting on pants” thing.

Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t marry her because she was a good cook.

And Mrs. Horatio is a good cook.

Gatoraids

Ole Mutha Hubbard gave Carolina fans a bone

Brick Meathook

The two white dudes calling the Arizona v TCU basketball game are named Fran and Roxy. I got nuthin’ else.

Gumbygirl

My dad was a Fran. It’s better than Frank, I guess.

Brick Meathook

My middle name is Francis. I avoid it.

Gumbygirl

My younger brother is a Francis too. I knew it was not right for him as a toddler, so I renamed him Guy. He’s definitely a Guy.

Don T

Fran works better for recriminstions. “What were you thinking, Fraaaaann?”

Don T

14-7. To celebrate, Imma keep drinking.
Reminder: hid my car keys in my pants pocket

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re not safe until you forget where you hid your car keys.

Don T

And if you write down where they’re hidden, it’s self-preservation to get blind drunk. Common sense, really.

Doktor Zymm

Aw, how nice of the Panteros to wait for me to get home to start playing!

fleshwound_NPG

a game! we have a game!

Gatoraids

Durrant certainly committed to the bit

BaldingSpiritually
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1000001747
Don T

Jesus. Nobody wants a piece of Nacua.

fleshwound_NPG

“That’s what you think.”

-CTE

King Hippo

a’ight then, booky-book and Footy Manager it is, then

King Hippo

9 January 2343, at present. Been slowing down lately.

Don T

Does the concession stand serve bugs and chips?

Don T

THESE PANTHERS I CALL THEM 3RD DOWN TIBET BECAUSE ALL CONVERSIONS HAVE BEEN BY YAC

LemonJello

Kashmir as bumper music? Alright FoxSports Intern, we hear you!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gotta rope in that critical Pakistani demographic.

Don T

In Fox Deportes too. Same music. Even the injury timeout song has no cowbell or accordion or 🎶BUM p psh pah BUM🎶

Redshirt

Carolina defensive…stop?

Redshirt

I guess the Panthers are just happy to be there?

BaldingSpiritually

STOP LEAVING THE INFLUENCER OPEN!!!

King Hippo

oh great, I’m sure they weren’t counting on their starting LT or nothin

Redshirt

He just a little being carted off the field. He’s still good. He’s still good.

Don T

Ah man. This can’t be blowout from the start
/sees book in the distance
//falls off couch from shuddering

King Hippo

I have a scotchnaut-recommended one that I just started, too.

fleshwound_NPG

insurmountable in 3…2…1…

fleshwound_NPG

welp, at least i got some pork stew brewing in the crock pot

BaldingSpiritually

Black Panthers

IMG_2920
King Hippo

Marge, don’t embarrass me in front of the drag queen!

fleshwound_NPG

“Keep Pounding: The Nina Hartley Story”

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Don T

Serves him right. Harbaugh shoul’ve been studying film.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maybe not the ideal time to be saying “serves [them] right” when referring to something that happened to someone while they were driving.

Fronkenshteen

You know who else was a 7-9,10 point, home underdog in an NFC Wildcard game? Marshawn fucking Lynch. Go cats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSBJxtEed1s

Last edited 1 month ago by Fronkenshteen
fleshwound_NPG

wait, the 4:30 saturday game is NOT the .500s?

this is gonna get weird

Beerguyrob

I am at a provincial bargaining meeting at the union right now, and all this arguing about comma placement is preventing me from getting to the bar.

IMG_2630
Don T

Well if the HS crush is texting 40 years later to see if you can get manipulated again wait, damn this is good weed

King Hippo

Hide yo’ phone!!!

Don T

I started drinking now. The 3rd QRT is the phone-hiding Rubicon

Beerguyrob

I read this as “third quart”, and if that’s true you got nothing to worry about

King Hippo

Gronk is on his way to being a ginormous fat fuck. ONE OF US!!!

SonOfSpam

Ready for RAMMMMMMMMING IT

(not drinking; folding laundry)

WOO THE PARTYING IS INSANE

King Hippo

All of Southern California must be on a knife’s edge today! Same over here in CakalakyWAKANDA

Gatoraids

Snorts Fabric Sheets….oh what a rush

King Hippo

y’all reminded me to wash my sheets, that’s GOOD ERRAND HUSTLE!!

Gatoraids

that time of the year already?

Don T

I made it as far as putting the full hamper in front of the washer. 🎶Tomorrow, tomorrow..🎶

King Hippo

early in my marriage, I learned that laundry was a good errand for me to take on. Because (i) I did it correctly (I separate things that should be separated, and even READ LA|BELS); and (ii) it could be easily managed during sportsball ad breaks.

/still got divorced
//got no credit b/c was not a “man” errand

King Hippo

Our Black Panther Party is HERE!!!

Senor Weaselo

I hope RAMMIT doesn’t make like Forrest Gump and ruin it