Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
Was there a pro bowl? I didn’t see, or don’t remember, any comments about it. Or is it still after the owl? I’ve watched and followed so little football this year, that if it weren’t for Hippo thoughts, I’d have no clue what’s going on.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Soooo..
Shadeur Sanders is going to the Pro Bowl?!
I mean, I knew that’s a joke by this point.. but I didn’t realize that it was a joke told by Tigg Notaro, written by Hannah Gadsby and inspired by Bert Kreischer levels of “joke”
bk109
This is my truth.
2Pack
January 26, 2026 11:38 am
So good to see Sam exorcise some of his playoff demons.
As long as he doesn’t celebrate by snogging with a bunch of randos, I think the Seahawks have a good shot.
BeefReeferLives
should send players to a 1 year contract on the Jets as a last chance NFL Scared Straight program for disfunction
Gatoraids
Fatty’s bad decision (though I thought at the time that I would kick that first half FG on 4th and 1, it was defensible either way) was to insanely attempt a 46-yard FG in a blizzard, on 4th and 4.
Placement kicks are basically a Hail Mary at that point. You will never get a better chance than that to score the TD you needed.
That drive was the whole game. TD or bust, win or lose. Would they have converted? Would they have then likely scored?
Probably not, x2. But you have to take your shot there.
But the defenses were both elite, passing games both inept. New England managed some semblance of a running game, which overcame their shitty punting. Better team won.
King Hippo
À man in a neighbouring city was caught on security camera fucking horses. He violated three mares and even went to get a step stool to aid in his equine molestation.
At least when the stallion finds out he won’t have to ask if the neigh-pist was bigger than him.
BC Dick
There was a guy on the USS Simon Lake
( submarine tender) when we were in Scotland who got arrested for
” interfering” with sheep. They held him in the brig for a few days. Guys were going down there and making sheep noises, and asking him if he was their daaaaaddy until the CO made them knock it off.
Gumbygirl
You’ve been a baaaaad baaaad boy
BC Dick
Sadder than the Belichick (snicker) thing…the Jets reached out to Jon Shithead Gruden about joining their staff, and the little shithead turned them down.
SonOfSpam
THIS GUY JON GRUDEN, I CALL HIM EARLY AT THE BAR BECAUSE HE STILL HAS STANDARDS
Senor Weaselo
I think Comrade McCarthy is our new DFO character….
ballsofsteelandfury
I might have mentioned this previously, but whenever I see the name “Pegula” I envision a campy porn flick featuring vampires and butt stuff.
BeefReeferLives
“Oh no – are you going to suck my blood???”
“Eh, not exactly.”
SonOfSpam
lol Belichick didn’t make the HoF in year one. He can spend that weekend watching an adult cheerleading competition.
SonOfSpam
Well friends and neighbors and party people, after 40 some odd years of being a fish owner our little last rasboro went to fishy Valhalla.
It’s a colossal pain in the ass to haul around and to move and set up.
Not to mention keeping the damn things alive.
I’m moving on.
We’re I’m going I can’t transport this ecosystem any longer.
It’s been amazing and very human to be able to support a thing like this.
Maybe when I get settled in my forever place.
Two years. Eight months and 29 days to retirement.
Cheers fishies!
yeah right
Just got back from an “ice cream social” sponsored by Bridgerton, where we got to interact with beautiful people in Regency costumes, ate free Jeni’s ice cream, and watched the Vitamin String Quartet perform. And they even sent us home with flowers.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Media: “The Trump Administration softening of ICE policy in Minneapolis surprising, many questioned why.”
Me: “ICE committing an Act of War against Ecuador may have something to do with it.”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/28/ice-ecuador-consulate-minneapolis
Redshirt
How will this affect the Leaf’s playoff chances?
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Mr. Ayo
With so much drama in the N.E.
It’s kind of hard bein’ Shark B-A-I-T
But he, somehow, some way
Keeps comin’ up with funky-ass drinks, like every damn Friday
Making a little somethin’ for the Clubhouse
Those crazy ass cocktails do get us soused.
Now it’s 2 in the mornin’ – Sexy Friday post is open
‘Cuz my wife ain’t ho-ome
I got no one in the living room gettin’ it on
So I’ll jerk my own gherkin until 6 in the mornin’
Oops, now I gotta poo-oo
I ate a bucket full of chicken and curly fries too
So turn on the fan and open the doors
But (But what?) we don’t love passing out on the floor
So we gonna’ light a cigarette and take a piss
Balls up, Lowratio’s down while you motherfuckers bounce to this
Fallin’ down the stairs, watchin’ pornos
Sippin’ on gin and (pickle) juice
With my mind on my gherkins
And my gherkins on my mind
Fallin’ down the stairs, watchin’ pornos
Sippin’ on gin and (pickle) juice
With my mind on my gherkins
And my gherkins on my mind
Downfield Matriculator
“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his ass along the White House carpet during a press conference.
— The Onion (@theonion.com) 2026-01-31T01:30:05.159430783Z
Gumbygirl
Grant hears a good one, 1866
Brick Meathook
from Andrew Luck
Gatoraids
Yet another movie bombs in the box office.
Redshirt
I stumbled on one of the Avengers movies and it reminded me that Paul Bettany, who plays Vision, lobbied really hard to get a supporting role in ‘A Beautiful Mind’ because he wanted to meet Jennifer Connelly and he got the role and fucking married her!!!
Talk about setting your goals high and hitting them.
Horatio Cornblower
Did he ever make the banner tho?! Probably not…
Gatoraids
ASU sucks.
blaxabbath
“I haven’t been exposed to that much yellow since the last time I listened to Coldplay.”
-Blax, trying out his standup routine for the first time
scotchnaut
Doing a wine and whisky bonspiel today at the curling club. $40/person gets lunch, dinner, 4 4-end games and 4 tastings. Although last time I went they just poured you as many drinks as you wanted.
My team will get destroyed and so will my liver.
BC Dick
Redshirt
In my house:
“One of the children is sick! Call Shock Trauma! Get Hopkins on the line and get the very best medicine there is! It could be Covid, or lupus, or leprosy! No time to waste.”
“The mother gets sick: send for the wisest doctors from every corner of the world. Alert the media, the president, and the chiefs of staff. This will not stand!”
Father gets sick: “Hey, asshole, you gonna take the trash out or fucking lie on the floor all day?”
jjfozz
My brother got me a THE Balvenie whisky for my birthday. Here it is on display on my smoker.
When I move to Hawaii, I’m renting this place out for $2K/day in winter. Extractive Capitalism can only be fought with more of the same.
blaxabbath
I’m watching the Royal Rumble broadcast from yesterday, The crowd is empty for the Women’s Rumble lol. I love the Rumble, it’s the only WWE thing I really watch all year, and them putting this in Saudi Arabia is immensely disappointing to me. Not disappointing enough to keep me from watching because I’m bored as shit, but still pretty shitty.
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
…dad?
SonOfSpam
I got the smokes.
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
I have to say I’m disgusted right now. I just caught up on the comments from this morning’s [Feb 1] post regarding immigration discussion and can’t believe what I read. People communicating respectfully, reacting in good faith, accepting when someone added subtlety to a previous post, dogs and cats living together, while also adding some hummer… this is the internet, people! That’s not how it’s supposed to work
But probably the reason why after ~30 years online it’s the only place I’ve joined and posted more that four times. All of you y’all/yinz are pretty great
Bogdanski
I’m just waiting for the next family dinner after the Owl so i can say, “Man that halftime show was awesome!” This will cause my mother in law to collapse into a heap, then rail against immigrants, endorse Trump and remind everyone that she’s a good Christian.
jjfozz
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
https://youtube.com/shorts/jgiOMcnv5Ks?si=HTn25ACcpm8h6SKs
The Old White Guy Coach Carousel keeps on spinning…
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/47816465/sources-giants-hire-matt-nagy-offensive-coordinator
For once they catch a break!
So MicroStrategy’s entire business model is a) Raise Capital and b) Buy Bitcoin and now that Bitcoin’s price has been falling they are currently underwater on their investment.
The Underpants Gnomes had a much better strategy
I have been following the foibles of MicroStrategy for two decades now. CEO Michael Saylor is a born loser – whatever scheme he dreams up is a sure sign to short it. This is how I know Bitcoin is going to tank (just like the Hunt brothers silver scheme of the 1970’s). I’m out by Tyson’s Corner VA all the time and I see the tall office building either “MicroStrategy” lit up on top and keep waiting for when they have to sell it.
NOTE: Tyson’s Corner started as a rural intersection in the 60’s and then they built a very popular mall there. The place has rapidly and densely developed to small city size, predominantly high-tech and finance. They changed the name to just “Tysons” because as use “Tyson’s Corner “ sounds too much like “Hooterville.”
“Tyson’s Corner” is now “Tysons”
“MicroStrategy” is now “Strategy”
I’m sensing a pattern among the nouveau riche hillbillies.
My tulips are gonna hit any day now!
Good work, many of you!
Did ICE snatch Savanna Guthrie’s mother from her home without record because Republican voters are gearing up for a summer of explicitly promoting their affection for documented child rapists because the teevee told them it is “GoOd FoR the 3c0nomy!”?
Yes. That’s what happened.
The Grant hears a good one never gets old.
Grazie GTD, wonderful recap.
Bill Sherman liked it too
Lincoln told the joke:
“Did you hear the one about John Bell Hood attacking Nashville? Ha ha ha ha!
@jjfozz did you catch the symbolism of when Sophie was hired as a ladies maid at House Bridgerton and her separation from Benedict Bridgerton was emphasized by him heading upstairs while she was escorted off to join the rest of a servants? I thought it was a nice little piece of visual storytelling.
Oh and please don’t spoil the Finding Her Edge season one finale for me; we’re watching that tonight.
Just don’t be dyslexic and start watching “Edging Her Find” instead…
because that would be awkward.
Ooh and how finding the pinnacle was a juicy innuendo throughout the episode which culminated on a STAIRWELL. Which goes up AND down?! They met in the middle!
I needed the fainting couch after that. My flabbers were gasted.
I do wonder if her fellow servants were like “so did you get the coin purse or what?”
Smacked you right in the gobs, didn’t it?
My ker was quite fluffled!
Word on the streets in Tucson is that Savannah Guthrie’s mom was snatched by ICE.
By me. I’m offering this unsolicited word in the streets of Tucson.
“Savannah Guthrie’s mother’s snatch is filled with ice? Weird.”
-Me, playing the worst game of ‘telephone’ ever.
“Arlo Guthrie’s mother’s snatch is filled with lice?”
-I see your bet and raise it.
Man, you really can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant.
Excepting Alice!
Beat me to it…
/folds
I can’t beat that.
“Streets of Tucson, huh?” [rubs chin thoughtfully]
-B. Springsteen
Are they mean streets?
Or streets with no name?
/wrong band, don’t care
Even more streets he’s never set foot on.
That movie was hot garbage. It made me dislike the subject.
Oh are we still talking about Brett Ratner’s Melania?
I didn’t need that to dislike the subject