Well, we finally made it to the fireworks factory! Honestly, this has been the most entertaining season I’ve experienced since 2011- (had to throw a Giants reference in here in some way) what with the unexpected emergent teams (two of which you’re going to watch this evening!) some mind-boggling upsets, younger players coming to the fore, owners getting exposed in new and interesting ways, etc. It’s been a blast.

As always, we’ll go…

To The Game!

Seahawks/Patriots:

-Yes, New England is the home team, I know everyone was wondering.

Hot Takery Alert?: I really don’t have an issue with this version of the team. There’s no Brady or Belichick to annoy me. “But what about that simp of an owner?” you say. That icky, creepy bastard just got his comeuppance earlier this week by getting snubbed by the HOF. That’s a degree of personal humiliation that folks of his stature rarely experience. I’d also point out that if he were on your team, Gronk would be a loveable goofball but playing where he was he was dragged down by all the crap that was going on around him.

-The O/U sits at 45.5. Do you think we’ll get there? Each team is going to try to slow the game to a crawl and try to stop the opposing run game. The only scenario I see is Seattle running away late with the help of a pick-six or returned fumble late.

-Speaking of, having played a few top 10 defenses Maye has 6 fumbles and is passing at a pedestrian 58% rate this postseason.

-His peer however has nary a turnover yet.

-They usually talk about the D watching film but it seems as though Darnold has been self-assessing himself-(with the coaches help of course) in 2 of their 3 losses he gave up the ball late. Nowadays when he feels pressure he doesn’t force a play and instead throws it away or takes the sack.

-All the kudos belong to Vrabel-let’s not forget that this squadoo was coming off back-to-back 3-14 seasons.

-There’s always an unsung hero that catches a 4th down pass, makes a game-saving tackle, forces a fumble that is recovered by someone else, etc. My pick is 2nd string wide receiver Jake Bobo because his last name is funny. I’m not a complicated/serious person.

-I’d look for a few long passes outside the numbers to JSN in order to try and break the game open for Seattle. If Maye can get the time, look for the same to Boutte, who seems to be the Pats only speedster.

-Methinks that Seattle can afford one, maybe two turnovers and still win. The Pats? If they have 2 or more it’s all over.

As I always say, do please pop in and say hello no matter what you’re doing-we’d love to hear from you. Cheers!

 

5 7 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
592 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
fleshwound_NPG

only the jets and vikings could lose a super bowl they were not even in

Downfield Matriculator

They are now showing the Giant Snatch on ESPN – watching the Pats lose that game was better than watching them lose the Santa Clara Bowl, but today was mildly satisfying as well!

Beerguyrob

Phone died. Just left stadium. Woo hoo!

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

Gumbygirl

Pleaseohpleaseohplease let this one work!

1000008667
Gumbygirl

Cheeto was appalled by the dancing in the halftime show. “Not in front of the children!” the pedophile hypocrited.

rockingdog

Last funny:

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

Horatio Cornblower

When I was younger, and if I were smarter, I think I could have gone to the Olympics as the entirety of the Irish XC Skiing team.

Of course, I never skied more than 18 miles, and I didn’t;t do that particularly quickly, so I’m thinking the results of the 50K Skiatholon would have included the line “IRL:Cornblower:DNF:Dead”

SonOfSpam

Could’ve revived you with a few pints.

Not of blood, to be clear.

I think about what Olympics would’ve been coolest to go to.
I was 23 for Barcelona and/or Albertville, 27 for Atlanta (gross), 25 for Lillehammer (meh). Fortunately, I was not athletic enough to worry about that.

Col. Duke LaCross

I was 23 and attending college as a senior during the ‘02 Salt Lake games. They suspended school for the entire month of February because our on-campus housing was used for security. I spent the month crashed on my buddy’s couch. We didn’t go to any events, but there were about two weeks worth of nights downtown partying and making pathetic attempts at “international relations.”

I’m going to be 53 during the 2034 games when they come back here. I don’t think it’s going to go the same way.

SonOfSpam

Don’t sell yourself short!

I’m planning on making the rounds during the ’28 games in LA.

By making the rounds, I mean “watching the games on TV”

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve seen that same joke about Jelly Roll.

Both are accurate.

Brocky

I’ve heard a similar joke:

Kid Rock makes music for people who knows how much Sudafed can be traded for a catalytic converter

BC Dick

Kid rock makes music for people who regret their Prince Albert piercings

Horatio Cornblower

For my money, (which you’ll recall is at a level that Applebee’s is, in fact, an option), this is one of the greatest calls in sports.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4vnXCTU6C0

Horatio Cornblower

Switzerland has a skier named “N. Wigger” and ohmygod that’s a name you do not want to miss a letter or period on when putting the crawl together.

SonOfSpam

first name? N’other

Horatio Cornblower

‘What makes the Norwegians so good at X-Country skiing?”

It’s Norway. What else are ya gonna do?

Mr. Ayo

Norwegian ladies?

Horatio Cornblower

Not with my game.

Horatio Cornblower

Me: (gets ready to wrap up for the night, perhaps a cup of tea)

NBC: hey, could we interest you in some late night Olympic X-Country skiing highlights, that sport you love that’s never on TV?

Me: Fuck it. (pours another beer)

SonOfSpam

Atta boy, I chose to drink medium strength pale ale for endurance reasons. Opening yet another shortly.

Horatio Cornblower

I, um, didn’t go medium strength…

comment image

SonOfSpam

Oh that looks delightful. I MUST HAVE IT.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s collaboration with Toppling Goliath. Gonna guess you can find it in SoCal. Might take some looking.

For the record it is delicious.

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

Olympic coverage was delayed here while the local news showed all the cavorting HOX fans in both Santa Clara and Seattle.

Haven’t even gotten to Vonn’s broken leg yet.

Mr. Ayo

Oh there it is. Yikes.

Horatio Cornblower

Kinda surprised they showed it again. On tape delay there was no reason not to just discuss it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1000001828
Brocky

Goodnhustle!

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a little rough. Guy’s a second year pro with no real WR threats and not much of an O-line and helped get them to a Super Bowl. He’ll be fine.

And I say that despising the Patriots.

SonOfSpam

Satisfying ending in that the better team won, and that Robert Kraft did not have a satisfying ending.

Unsurprised

I’m confident he can find an asian sex slave in central California to ensure he had a happy ending before returning to Massachusetts

Brick Meathook

I just learned:

Former USC QB and NFL QB washout John David Booty has a nephew named General Booty. That’s right, General Booty.

His Wikipedia page has this disclaimer at the top:

This article is about the American college football player. For the Liberian preacher, see General Butt Naked.

General Butt Naked’s Wikipedia page has this disclaimer at the top:

This article is about the Liberian preacher. For the American college football player, see General Booty.

Unsurprised

Sir, General Butt Naked, sir.

Gatoraids

his shock troops stormed the field at least

https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com/post/3mefg5kve3i25

herodotus450

It’s possible a football game had a play where General Booty completed a pass to Captain Munnerlyn, who was then tackled by Obersthefffeldter Schmidt

Gumbygirl

Kupp’s kid has those Neanderthal vibes too!

rockingdog

K9 is MVP

Yea that’s Rockingggg!!!

rockingdog

Excited to see who ends up buying this franchise $

Mr. Ayo

Price just went up I suspect.

Gatoraids

minute I thought was talking about New England and thought Little Saint James Patriots was happening

WCS

At least Mike Vrabel doesn’t have to sever his dick.

fleshwound_NPG

i thought he would cut his dick off to GET to the superb owl?

he cut his dick for 29-13

rockingdog

You’re laughing? The team that lends their plane for deportation flights and whose owner is best pals with Trump got utterly humiliated in front of a hundred million viewers, and you’re laughing?

Lmao

2Pack

Congratulations Hox

FB_IMG_1769868345814
2Pack

FrSJKU6XwAIkxAt
fleshwound_NPG

WHAT THE FACK WAS THAT?!?!? WE GAWT CURB STAHMPED!!! WE ARE NOW HAWNTED!!! WE HAVE THE MOST FACKING LAWSESS IN SOOPAH BAWL HISTARHY!!! THIS IS NAWT HAPPENING!!! WE GOTTAH BRING BACK TAWMMY BRAHDY AT AGE 50 TO SAVE OUR ASSES!!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

fleshwound_NPG

THIS IS A FACKING TRAHVASTAHHY!!!

tommy-from-quinzee
Redshirt

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brick Meathook

Of all the USC QBs to win a Super Bowl, Sam Darnold?

I was positive it was going to be John David Booty.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Me, too.”

–Mark Sanchez, with and without a knife

rockingdog
Doktor Zymm

So the couple in the half time show WAS a real wedding!
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/47872442/bad-bunny-super-bowl-lx-half-wedding

Doktor Zymm

They invited Bad Bunny to their wedding, but he was busy so invited them to have their wedding at half time 🙂

Gumbygirl

Oh good, I was hoping it was real!

Porky Prime

WELP. See you guys in 365! Still the best Superb Owl party on the block. Much love. Thanks for everything.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or….don’t be a stranger before then

Last edited 2 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Porky Prime

I can try!

Redshirt

Draft and Spelling Bees and Impeachments!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please feel welcome to drop by for Request Line!

Horatio Cornblower

And Mock Drafts!

And general fucking off during the work days! And weekends!

yeah right

And food!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think that sums it up pretty well:

1000001823
Redshirt

Sam Darnold: Super Bowl Winning Quarterback!

fleshwound_NPG

now and forever, the patriots’ kryptonite will be dopey ass quarterbacks

Mr. Ayo

A very special superb owl winning quarterback!

Thanks Jets and Vikings for passing on him.

rockingdog

This jersey is Rocking!

Way to go Sam Darnold!!! 👏💯

IMG_3175
Horatio Cornblower

Seattle throwbacks are outstanding.

Doktor Zymm

“A really good thing just happened to you, how do you feel??”

Gumbygirl

He called her man, bro, and brah in one sentence

yeah right

Youngest right lives in downtown Seattle.

She said it’s a war zone.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s winning the war?

Doktor Zymm

Amazon

yeah right

Seahawks.

Bogdanski

Because of woke? Or just people having fun?

rockingdog

That’s Rocking!!!

Mr. Ayo

Same over here in Bellevue. No sleep for Seattle tonight!

Brick Meathook

The Pats on that very last drive were going “We gotta cover the over!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BEERGH (artist’s conception):

comment image

Porky Prime

Wet fart of a game other than good defense. At least last year had the thrill of Schadenfreude.

WCS

Beating BAWSTAN is ALWAYS worthy of celebrating.

Porky Prime

Fair!

Doktor Zymm

There were some good half minutes in there

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what I always tell my wife

WCS

It just took Darnold a few years to get the J-E-S-T stank out of him. It took Geno a while, too.

Redshirt

Facts.

IMG_3171
Horatio Cornblower

*New Jersey

Doktor Zymm

Coming back from being a J-E-S-T QB has about the same success rate as getting clean off fentanyl

Brick Meathook

I imagine Dan Marino happy at home hosting a Super Bowl party and he’s all smiles and loving the attention and then Tirico mentions him as never getting back to the Super Bowl after losing and all the air goes out of the room and Dan just sinks and then angrily ends the party and orders everyone to leave but they can all see he is hiding his tears.

King Hippo

Punter for MVP (he also had a really good hold on FG #4)

Redshirt

Holder is a very important part of the process.

(looks at Tony Romo)

WCS

comment image

rockingdog
WCS

Isn’t that Peter Gabriel album?

WCS
Mr. Ayo

Dickson for MVP!

ThePirateSloth

BEST PUNTER IN THE LEAGUE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come on, baby. Just two more minutes of game time!

yeah right

I’m just here to say, Fuck you Jesus.

Fuck you very much.

Look what you’ve done!

Redshirt

No one denies this!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, as soon as his biggest cheerleaders turned into pedophile apologists there really was no coming back.

Gatoraids
Unsurprised

The pulp era was so gloriously stupid and awesome.

2Pack

Site passes the stress test it would appear.

litre_cola

We had a speed wobble at half time.

Mr. Ayo

Fucking BLEEERGH

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That flag fucked over the cleaning guy

Horatio Cornblower
592
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x