Look at that totally expected/labored Bowie reference! A shoutout to Horatio, his feelings about Don T’s writing aside, he knocked it out of the park with his mock draft topic this morning. Well done.

This evening we’ll focus on free agent signings but only those that, like George Preston Marshall trading for Bobby Mitchell in 1962, dramatically change the complexion of a team. We won’t bother with any re-signings but feel free to do so in the comments. Also, I won’t be getting into the exact nature of the contracts because that will take forever.

Off We Go!

Tyler Linderbaum: 3 yrs, 80 mil. In this very space I predicted that he could basically write his own contract but I was thinking maybe 20 mil a year-this sets the bar mighty high. But he’s a young stud that instantly upgrades the Raiders O-line.

Tua Tagovailoa: Contract details not available yet. I doubt he’ll reach the heights of his first year under Mike McDaniel but he’s capable enough and gives the Falcons some insurance if Penix doesn’t recover from his injury in time or just struggles again. He should start doing insurance ads because that would be on-brand. Look for Kirk Cousins to be sent on his way soon.

Mafe/Cook: 3yrs 60 mil and 3 yrs 40 mil respectively. That squeaking sound you heard was Mike Brown opening his wallet. After the bats flew away Brown was heard to say, “Oh God, what have I done?”. Well, someone somewhere in the organization convinced him that the Cincy D wasn’t going to get any better without an infusion of cash. Mafe is an edge that was only a rotational piece in Seattle but that was because that unit is so talented. Cook ups the talent in the secondary-another good move. Now, watch them screw up the draft.

Odafe Oweh: 4 yrs, 100 mil. That seems a bit much and seems to reflect the Commies desperation to shore up their defense. The unit needs an overhaul and I guess this is a start.

Malik Willis: 3 yrs, 67 mil. The man is betting on himself by signing a front-loaded contract for the first two years from the too-obvious buyer that was the Fins and going from there. If he exceeds expectations he’ll likely get a new one in the third year, if he doesn’t he can settle into the life of a backup QB-and that’s the worst scenario. At some point I’ll do an overview of new offensive coordinators and we’ll re-visit this signing.

Mike Evans: 3 yrs, 60 mil. Everyone except Evans’ mother knows that this is a two year deal. Anyone recall when the Niners receiving core was the envy of the league? Me neither, that was some time ago. This stopgap fella has one more good year in him and that’s about it.

Devin Bush: 3 yrs, 30 mil. The Bears D was more opportunistic than good. I read somewhere that a defense’s ability to generate large numbers of turnovers year after year is pretty much impossible. Bush gives them stability at a key position.

Travis Etienne: 4 yrs, 52 mil. The Saints Kamara is long in the tooth. (of all qualifying rb’s his Yards After Contact number was 2nd-to-last) The Saints pick up a back that can replicate what Alvin can do and is much younger.

Isaiah Likely: 3 yrs, 40 mil. Unlike Daboll, Harbaugh understands the importance of a tight end. That position hasn’t thrived in a long time in New York-seems like a good fit.

Kenneth Walker: 3 yrs, 45 mil. I thought he’d get a bigger coin purse than this but it’s probably enough. KC turns around immediately after losing Etienne which is smart thinking and I hate it.

Well, that’s what I have. If you’d like to elaborate on my screechings or comment about your own team’s signings I’d love to hear it. Or maybe there’s an under-the-radar move that you’ve identified. Have at it.