No early bird special this week (watch some EFL, why don’t ya), so focus is on the 10:00 window.

Macro-level, it certainly looks like Fulham are in real trouble.  Might need a wellness check on Litre after this fixture (and hopefully Deci knows to be mellow about it LMAO).

Villa really need three points (home to Robins Hood, USA/Peacock), or I will lump them into Mighty Whitey’s boat.  You also can watch The Runaway Freight Train That Is Hull City away to Stamford Bridge, or an evenly-matched Praise Beesus against yeah right’s Cherries.  There are options, flip around.

I prefer JV NFL to my own side losing to Spurs (12:30, NBC), and to the special Late Show of Arsenal at Sunderland (3:00, USA).  Though I might 2nd screen the latter.  We’ll see.

Arizona State (+15.5) at Bonfire Cult (Noon, ABC)

I don’t really know what to make of either of these squadrons, though I suspect each wins like 7 or 8 games.  Surely the Aggies can manage this as one of their 7-8.

Steerfuckers North (-5.5) at Meeechigan (Noon, Fox)

Gonna take waaaayyyyyy MOAR home cooking from the officiating crew to make this one close enough to steal at the end.  Venables’ defense against a “seeing ghosts” QB is almost unfair.

Roll Damn Tide (-10) at Kenfucky (3:30, ABC)

Bama hasn’t shit its dick yet, but it is coming.  Not this week, mind.

BEAR DOWN FOAR Midterms (+7.5) at Original Recipe Big Love (3:30, Fox)

My initial read on the Big Twaaaalllllve is that it’s ass.  However, if anyone is going to be a tough out, it will be one or both of these two.  Hard to imagine the winner NOT being in the conference title game (and this might be the last season of conference title games).

Mississippi State (-1.5) at Minnesota (3:30, CBS)

Everybody likes to whinge about the SEC (Paaaaaawwwwwllllllll!!), but note than a regular “upper middle class” B1G program is home to 16th (of 16) from the SEC.  And the Cowbells are favoUred.

Maryland (-11.5) at Fightin’ Horatios (3:30, CBSSN)

One risked a complaint from the Sex Drawf Union, by not previewing this clash.  Doesn’t Hippo have too many powerful enemies as it is?

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Horatio Cornblower

“And Confucius say, name go in book”

scotchnaut

Wifey is out of town, there’s a tornado warning in a community 30 minutes away so naturally I told her that I was going for a swim.

/follow me for more “Keys To A Successful Marriage” tips!

Horatio Cornblower

“It’s a tornado warning, woman, not a water spout warning. geez”

Last edited 7 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
scotchnaut

Like I’d waste 45 minutes explaining the differences between two weather phenomena. She could be peeling carrots* during that time!

*because I told her to

Last edited 5 hours ago by scotchnaut
WCS

Also, the dictionary defines “marriage” as, “the process of removing weeds from one’s garden.” Very useful info!

Beerguyrob

Alabama just got denied a call that Nick Saban would have gotten. The Tide really has fallen out of favour.

Horatio Cornblower

Me, watching Granit Xhaka yell at the ref:

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Horatio Cornblower

Immediate yellow card. Based on past experience watching him at Arsenal we’re about 4 minutes from a red if they don’t get him off the pitch.

Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal scored so fast while I was digging up Rick and Morty videos that I failed to acknowledge that David Raya is the greatest goalkeeper on the face of the Earth.

And yes, that was a penalty. You can not dry hump someone in the box during a corner.

Not a euphemism, Balls, not a euphemism.

Last edited 7 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Beerguyrob

Also, my ball team won the Northwest League last night. It’s a pretty good day at Beerguy’s house.

D51303A1-EA41-43F6-983A-7208725C2EDB
Beerguyrob

Whoa whoa – let’s not go CRAZY.

Horatio Cornblower

I was just about to post this about Arsenal, and then Arsenal did what I was asking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl17CYYSzUw

Don T

Golazo. Oh well ARS 1-0

WCS

Kenfucky just threw the biggest ham sandwich pick-six you’ll see this season.

Horatio Cornblower

Worse than the one the Rutgers QB threw to end the “rally” in the “football” game against “Boston” College?

Last edited 7 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Beerguyrob

Oh man, that was served up with free chips and a coupon

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, did you also flip over to the Yankees game?

blaxabbath

There you see what Kenny Dillingham is at ASU. He may be a stud but he’ll never have the institutional support to succeed.

Fortunately, the best cfb coaches get a new deal like annually. All ASU has to do is say, “You lost four games in ’26, we can’t double-down as if you’d won the natty,” and that will give someone else the opportunity to come in and steal all hope from the Devils.

WCS

…as Arizona scores easily on the Mormons to open up their game.

Blax’s utter loathing of ASU is hawt enuff to split atoms.

Horatio Cornblower

Leaving the gym today I saw a kid wearing a Cody Gakpo shirt, so I punted him down the stairs.

Sorry parents, but if you’re gonna let little Braedyn wander around in a Red Shite shirt you better teach him how to fight.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh wow, David Raya is still on the pitch.

Good to know.

Horatio Cornblower

Haavertz, dammit!

Don T

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WCS

Further based on JV footedball transverse theory, Tulsa is better than Nike U.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, what? Arsenal isn’t on TV?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh thank goodness – Telemundo to the rescue!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s on USA if you want to watch 90 minutes of Sunderland parking the bus.

WCS

if you want to watch 90 minutes of Sunderland parking the bus

What is, “Odd euphemisms for Duke WCS learning to use the toilet?”
I’ll take “Sports Geography” for 1200.

Horatio Cornblower

Named your kid ‘Sunderland’?

Jesus, tell me his mother is European royalty without telling me his mother is European royalty.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They nuked the USA app (for Android TV) and I can’t find the channel inside Peacock.

Don T

SUN – ARSe only on USA cable. God fucken dammit. All right, get over here
/gestures towards Infected Laptop

Don T

My tv is showing RedZone 2025 Week 1. Of course I’ll cusnge it. After TEN appears, meaning “gets scores on”.

Gumbygirl

I can’t tell if cusnge is a typo or a Spanish word I don’t know!

Fronkenshteen

Shadows are getting longer which means so are my memories. My heart feeling unusually filled with love and nostalgia usually indicates trouble ahead, though; red skies in morning, you know? Anyway, this is one of those perfect pop songs like “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” where the incredibly bouncy tune masks horribly painful lyrics. Turn it all the way up, there’s not a bad note in the thing. Just a perfect three minutes. Anybody remember these guys? Maybe Dok saw them in Boston? Charlie Chesterman’s band Scruffy the Cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpuon-IywO4
Added SUNY Stony Brook (ML +400 @ Ball State) to my afternoon parlay. Go Fightin’ Seawolves!

Redshirt

So based on football transverse equivalence, Western Michigan is better than Oklahoma?

Horatio Cornblower

Also the Houston 500…

Beerguyrob

It’s also an all-day CFL fest, and I’ll be attending the BC LioUns game tonight with WineWife.

Right now, however, the Argos & RedBlacks are playing and have the most CFL score that ever CFL’d.

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scotchnaut

Must be from out of state…

Horatio Cornblower

She’s lost.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The habaneros in my garden are exhibiting a great deal of variety in terms of how spicy they are. Sometimes they are barely noticeable. Today’s probably only should have been handled by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.

2Pack

Anything noticeable in the color when you pick them?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some bleaching in some of them – is that a clue of what to expect?

Mr. Ayo

Bleaching means they’re ready to go.

— Balls

2Pack

Could be. Isolate one, and compare it with the others.

I think normally they get hotter the more they stay on the plant. When I run into stuff like that I take a sample to my garden center. They have people there who have seen a lot, and you get broad experienced advice.

litre_cola

Is it me or are grocery store Jalapenos mild as fuck nowadays?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t bought them in a while, but back when I did I very rarely noticed any significant heat.

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola and deci will happily eat them now, that tells me they are very mild.

Doktor Zymm

Tremendous country

4944
Jimbo

Maybe they were saying boo-urns.

Screenshot-2026-09-12-at-9.20.09-AM
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As in, like, “BOO-URN HIM ALIVE”?

Horatio Cornblower

They were pretty clearly chanting “Ted Cruz Sucks”

Redshirt

For a Maize Out there is a lot of Red in that sea of peoples.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS ANN ARBOR CROWD I CALL IT CHILDREN OF THE CORN…

Horatio Cornblower

Fulham beats Liverpool, 0-0!!

litre_cola

In Anfield, I will fucking take it.

Horatio Cornblower

THAT BOURNEMOUTH SHOT I CALL IT BURNING THE ROUX, BECAUSE IT’S HIT YEAH RIGHT HARD!!

Horatio Cornblower

We’re in week 4 and they’re already playing with house money. God bless ’em.

Fronkenshteen

And look at the sandwiches! Grabbing three points on the road. Meant to ask your opinion on Court Sutton, especially early season. Is he washed? The numbers don’t look it, but writers all have Waddle and even Pat Bryant (!) usurping him this season. What giveth?

Fronkenshteen

No, but Trees will!

Mr. Ayo

They did! But still lost.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They won’t settle down. Not this time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek3DWvW1I5A

Horatio Cornblower

Imagine the odds you could get from them to win the league. Certainly worth $5 at this point.

Probably not more than $5, however.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, there goes my $5.

Redshirt

I can’t believe I’m actually rooting for Oklahoma. You’ve gone too far this time, 2026!

Horatio Cornblower

UConn football twitter is very confident about the team’s ability to thump Maryland, based solely on how good they looked against Lafayette.

I have so far resisted to point out the significant differences between Lafayette and Maryland. Let them enjoy the moment.

/Invests a couple of quid on Maryland

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Brain’s Ventral Striatum: “Bet on Maryland!”

Redshirt’s Brain’s Prefrontal Cortex: “Don’t do that! Its Maryland!”

Redshirt’s Brainstem’s Nucleus Tractus Solitarius: “Hey, can we listen to today’s games on the radio while walking a nature trail? I’m getting some concerning signals from the liver.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Mmm…liver jelly…” – Hannibal Lecter

Last edited 11 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

Cincinnati Reds vs. Milwaukee Brewers Results, Stats, and Recap – September 11, 2026 Gametracker – CBS Sports

Not sure if I witnessed a murder or an assisted suicide, but I saw something last night on TV.

Redshirt

Reds Press Release: “In lieu of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and “Cincinnati, Ohio”, Great American Ball Park will be playing “Taps” during the Seventh Inning Stretch for the remainder of the 2026 Season. Also, plently of 2027 Season Tickets are available, with numerous payment plans to choose from!”

Gumbygirl

Why do you torture yourself?

Horatio Cornblower

I enjoy watching Chelsea lose, but I enjoy watching them lose with Emi Martinez in net even more.

litre_cola

Think I am going to work out to get the angry energy out.

Horatio Cornblower

Narrator: The game was tied when Litre said this.

litre_cola

Worked out, hit the bike for 40 mins as I didn’t want to jinx it!

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, Hull’s gonna win the Premier.

Horatio Cornblower

Special tigers need the most love!!

Doktor Zymm

And there is what is maybe a Danish stag party towing around a speaker playing Oasis and some people at a pub started singing along so I thought I really was in the 90s for a second and maybe I should start calling my phone a communicator but then someone walking by said “but then you get all their data” and I was depressingly brought back to the present

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was it “Wonderwall”? Cause you could pretend that you are in a Dungeon Crawler Carl saferoom pub; that might be fun.

Doktor Zymm

It was! Outdoors tho

Doktor Zymm

I left my jacket in Istanbul by accident but lucky for me I was able to pick up a nice secondhand leather jacket for like 1990s price in Copenhagen. Lucky day!

2Pack

The kind with the custom hash pipe pocket?

Doktor Zymm

So THAT is what that pockrt is for

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

♫…So if you left a coat in Constantinople…you can find it in Istanbul…♫

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

was too much of a coward to post a picture of what Laura Loomer looks like these days. But I’m not afraid to.

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Redshirt

“The only way to unlock the beartrap that’s going to crush your head is the key in the stomach of your best friend. Live or— What are you- Oh! Oh my God!! You— At least use the scalpel, you bitch!”

Gumbygirl

I’ve turned into a pillar of salt now, are you happy?

I don’t think the Gorgon turned you into salt, mebbe stone? And is it the Gorgon I’m thinking of, or the snake haired one, Medusa? Whatever. I am completely frozen because of the horror that is Loomer.

litre_cola

The boy is on the main floor, I am in the basement as I do not want to fucking hear it. Fuck me we are going to start 0-5.

Doktor Zymm

It appears there are multiple Scottish pubs near where I am, might wander down to one of them later and see what sort of lesser footy is on.

Fronkenshteen

Good morning! I added some EFL to this morning”s kontent last night, but must’ve neglected to hit some kind of ‘final edit’ button. It’s in drafts if Sir Hippo would like to include it.

Fronkenshteen

Huh. That’s something else I was working on that’s not finished yet. I added EFL stuff directly to your post last night. It showed up in the preview and everything. I wonder what I’m doing wrong here? Don’t worry about it, brother. If you could just remove this piece again, I’ll finish working on it today. Dammit! The more I try to not be a pain in the ass the dumber I get!

Fronkenshteen

Hey, Salinger didn’t care about getting published either. It was a zen thing or something. 🤓

Fronkenshteen

I had a feeling this season was the end of the road for him. What a run though.

litre_cola

I look forward to the C’Ship next year.

Horatio Cornblower

Parkinson will be a Wrexham legend forever, but he definitely seems to have hit a ceiling.

Fronkenshteen

I think the plan now is to get to the Prem around the same time their stadium is complete.

Don T

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Redshirt

Senate Majority Leader: “I yield two minutes to the Gentleman from the Commonwealth of Kentucky.”
Senate President Pro Tempore:

f5fbfafe-d9a6-44b6-b109-c1c1b7a771e5_text
Gumbygirl

Mitch is on Eternity Leave.

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