For the young’uns so they get the shitty pop culture reference:
Let’s get started
1 Why is the blue-eyed blondie with the matching dress shown fully but Limpy McDick can’t have his face shown?
2 What kind of stupid double-standard is that?
3 Are we meant to imply that it’s all her fault?
4 That’s pretty sexist, isn’t it?
5 Why are these couples always on vacation?
6 Why doesn’t the airport x-ray machine pick up her Hitachi Magic Wand?
7 Do the terrorists know that airport x-ray machines can’t see Magic Wands?
8 Will this lead to a ban on Magic Wands?
9 If so, we’re pretty fucked, aren’t we?
10 Are we supposed to believe that sex only happens on vacation?
11 Isn’t that part of the problem here?
12 Do you think your guy resents you for over-packing?
13 I mean, I get that most girls over-pack, but this is a little silly for a weekend getaway, don’t you think?
14 Did your man really only pack one carry-on and that’s it?
15 Are you really carrying drugs in those bags and making a “drop” in the city?
16 Is that racist?
17 Why is the bellboy white?
18 Is that New York City that you are visiting with your ten tons of weed?
19 Did you tip the bellboy a dollar a bag (at least)?
20 Is it racist that I asked if you tipped the white bellboy?
21 It’s a lot of bags, is what I’m saying; isn’t that a tough job that should be rewarded with a handsome tip?
22 Who goes to NYC for a weekend getaway? Don’t people usually head the other way?
23 How come Kelly Hu is making Viagra commercials now?
24 Isn’t Kelly Hu more famous than this?
25 Why is Kelly Hu on vacation in the countryside without a man?
26 Does this mean that she’s given up on men and has now gone with ladies and is only doing this commercial to help the men so that they can please women like she does?
27 Have you noticed that all the women in the Viagra commercials are barefoot?
28 The director has to have a foot fetish, doesn’t he?
29 Holy Shit, does this mean that Quentin Tarantino directs the Viagra commercials?!?!?
30 If that is the case, shouldn’t Kelly Hu be kicking some martial arts ass at some point?
31 Shit, was THAT racist or simply an observation of Quentin Tarantino’s cinematic influences and choices?
32 Did you notice that Kelly Hu is wearing a wedding band?
33 Guys, am I wrong in thinking that Kelly Hu murdered her Viagra husband, dumped him in the lake, and is now doing a Viagra commercial to get another husband?
34 Is Kelly Hu a succubus?
35 Do you think I’m racist because the title of the video is Black Viagra Lady (BVL)?
36 Why doesn’t BVL have a man with her?
37 Is BVL Kelly Hu’s secret Viagra lesbian girlfriend?
38 Have you noticed that all the girls in these commercials are wearing blue dresses?
39 There is no way that’s a coincidence, right?
40 Is that a political statement against the democratic party?
41 Wasn’t there another famous blue dress associated with a famous democrat?
42 Do you think that Viagra is now using blue dresses exclusively as a ploy to “clean up” the reputation of blue dresses?
43 I mean, if you need Viagra, you ain’t cuming on no blue dresses, amirite?
44 Am I now on an FBI watchlist because I referenced a decades-old presidential sexual scandal?
45 Does anyone else think that Jacqueline Onassis look is as dead as she is?
46 Is Julie Anderson famous and should I know who she is?
47 How did Julie get her hands on an autonomous driving convertible?
48 Would you trust a car on autopilot on a cliffside ocean road?
49 Is that a West Coast road and she’s heading south or is that an East Coast road and she’s heading north?
50 Does it make me gay that I think she has a cool scarf?
51 Julie has the crazy eyes, doesn’t she?
52 Since crazy eyes usually = great sex, isn’t the lack of guy in this commercial telling?
53 Is it me, or does Julie’s enunciation make it seem like she’s a sexbot?
54 Honestly, would you have sex with a sexbot?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_ETKkt2r80
55 How the fuck is it possible for a man to not get an erection with this girl speaking in a sexy English accent?
56 Is it just me or does everyone else have a semi going?
57 Why is this poor sexy gorgeous British girl on a Caribbean island by herself?
58 Have you guys ever tried doing it on one of those outdoor day beds?
59 It’s probably better than Sex on the Beach, isn’t it?
60 Isn’t Sex on the Beach over-rated, both as a sexual adventure and an alcoholic cocktail?
61 Doesn’t the same thing apply to the Fuzzy Navel?
62 Since there is no man around, AGAIN, and these girls are in exotic locales, does this mean that these sexy Viagra girls are a team of highly-trained secret service killers?
62 Is that why their men can’t get erections?
63 Are they afraid that, if they disappoint their ladies, they will get killed just like the poor saps their ladies kill on their work assignments?
64 Does that mean the term “fear-boner” is misleading and wrong?
65 Would you, like me, take your chances for the opportunity to disappoint Sexy Viagra Secret Killer British Girl for 20 seconds?
66 That would be a great way to go, wouldn’t it?’
67 Isn’t it about time that we saw a little bit more of the guy?
68 Honestly, if I was her, I’d need the female version of Viagra, don’t you think?
69 Isn’t this just the best number?
70 Isn’t it super weird that EVERYONE is on vacation on these commercials?
71 If you expect super sex on vacation, aren’t you setting yourself up for disappointment like if you were expecting super sex on your wedding night?
72 Do you know the number of people that have told me wedding night sex is highly disappointing?
73 How is it that this couple packs one carry-on per person for what has to be at least a multiple-day cruise while New York weekend couple brought half their house?
74 It really has to be weed, doesn’t it?
75 Can anyone recognize the port here?
76 How much money do you think Limpy dropped on that cabin?
77 Isn’t it nice that we did NOT get to see Limpy’s feet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YtOOeDEJ6Y
78 Quentin Tarantino came during the filming of this commercial, didn’t he?
79 Do you think Rex is reading this article and thinking up a business opportunity for his wife?
80 That’s a weird angle for the bed to be in the room, isn’t it?
81 Is that Fung-shui?
82 That’s gotta be a reason for the lack of boners, don’t you think?
83 Isn’t it sad that even the moon is at half mast?
84 Did she get that bed at IKEA?
85 Can everyone that has broken a bed made in IKEA please raise their hands?
86 Now, can everyone that broke their bed actually having sex with another person keep their hands raised?
87 Why are there so few of us?
88 IKEA beds can’t be that sturdy, can they?
And now, for something completely different:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu9zfoMEgw8
I’m sorry, ladies, I do apologize.
I’m almost certain that port is Barcelona. It’s got the right bridge :
http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/daa7d300fe854f31b97b196383fa95dc/view-of-port-of-barcelona-from-gardens-of-montjuic-catalonia-spain-f7fhb3.jpg
And there’s a similar lighthouse thing, and the background is correct.
http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/cruise-ship-barcelona-port-catalonia-spain-picture-id594830017
Gotta be.
http://photo980x880.mnstatic.com/43cb79d53813b6f76688e758d6f9a606/port-of-barcelona-cruise-ship-terminal.jpg
Shit, I think you’re right! No wonder it looked familiar!
That Czech compilation was the greatest thing I’ve seen on TV since Apollo 11
Blue dresses = little blue pill. I think. I’m not an advertiser.
/Appears in cloud of black smoke holding Marketing BA degree from the California State University system
The likely reason that men are either not shown or not having their faces shown in these commercials is that it didn’t test well with the target market of men. This is usually the case with these types of sex based ads, as men generally want to impose themselves in the situation. By not showing the guy’s face, they are more likely to imagine themselves as the faceless man/insert themselves (pun half intended), and not be put off by thinking “Why does that stupid nerdy/old/loser Limpy McDick get to have Kelly Hu and I don’t?” adding to their already low confidence and be less likely to purchase the product. There is a reason for everything in advertising, unless you’re terrible at it.
//Disappears in another cloud of black smoke
///Can be seen crawling back under a rock just at the edge of the screen
The problem with Viagra is that it won’t help you fuck in separate outdoor tubs.
“Half of men over 40 suffer from ED”. Good to know there is a medical term for “Responsibilities”, “Whiskey-Dick”, and “The relentless march of time”.
No, British accents don’t do much for me. Now, bossy brunettes–woof. Aaaaoooooo!!
9.) It would mean the women wouldn’t be fucked once the old guy operating the scanner confiscated the pills.
54.) Wouldn’t we all? At least until it/she started complaining about performance issues.
71.) One may wind up disappointed with vacation sex, especially childless couples that don’t live in a house. But, if you’re bedroom shares a wall with the neighbors place, or if you’ve got kids at home, now you can be all loud and kinky and not have to look someone in the eye that you will see everyday, or produced.
Post-script: I think we’ve all said that in relation to Viagra type activities.
Our neighbors in my wife’s old place were Danish and they were both BEAUTIFUL. I didn’t mind hearing those two go at it at all (and the guy kept his voice down, so bonus).
Is it a sign that I’m old when the Attractive Viagra Ladies pique my interest more than the Attractive Young Czech Ladies?
\Knows damn well its a sign I’m old.
DAWWWWW, HORSEFEATHERS!
Hell no! Women >>>>>>> Girls. I’ve known that since 10th grade. Please.
I’m the same way. I’d disappoint those MILFS something fierce!
25 Why is Kelly Hu on vacation in the countryside without a man?
Kelly Hu is single (or at least was in 2008) and I know this because she was going to be hosting a fundraiser we were going to and I had a bet with my wife (then girlfriend) that I could get her phone number. Fortunately we didn’t end up going, because I am pretty sure I was going to lose that bet.
Here’s a pickup line that would have worked on Kelly Hu.
“I call my penis ‘first’ and we’re gonna do an Abbott and Costello routine.”
I always just figured Viagra was a medical-grade sex aid. Like, few people really NEED Viagra and they’re obviously marketing it to people who don’t need it. What if it were OTC? That shit wouldn’t be advertised with classy MILFs talking about enjoying themselves. It’d be in the back pages of the weekly city mags alongside the weed doctors and the sex hotlines. “Don’t PnP with unknown shit! It could be Spice or Krokodil! Get your fucking hard-on on with a sex aid that comes from an ISO 9000 certified facility, so you know that you’re rod is going to get big and hard — and not fall off.”
Maybe this is just my being a younger man speaking but, if any of those chicks want to bang you and you’re not getting it up, well…..
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m14egswOvU1r4gei2o4_400.gif
“We just need to have BVL apologize for her role in your blue balls.”
-NFL Ad Consultants
q.) Is the devil in those Czech ads Matt Hasselbeck?
I’m pretty sure the underlying premise of Viagra ads is to show a bunch of dudes sexy women talking about boners, in an effort to stir the loins of dudes watching. If the dudes can’t get it up during the commercial, then they say, “Hey, maybe I need a boner pill!”
Isn’t the biggest question why do you only need ONE SINGLE VIAGRA the whole vacation when your wife/girlfriend brought her entire wardrobe and/or a metric ton of weed? Are you really only having sex one time while you’re gone? Don’t you want the whole bottle or at least a handful of pills? What if you take the viagra on the plane because she hints she wants to join the mile high club, but then she chickens out and you have to rub one out before customs and debate whether or not to tell anyone you joined the mile sigh club nad then the rest of the trip you have no viagra for actual sex with your wife/girlfriend and she decides to screw the bellboy who got all ripped from carrying all those fucking bags?
This. I’ve wondered this myself – a single dose is good for what? Maybe a handie in the theater when she drags you to some shitty rom-com? If you’re going on vacation and need Viagra, aren’t you taking as many pills as you can?
Or is he planning some kind of “one last bang, then kill her and dump the body, claim the insurance and find one of those Czech women for trophy wife #3”-type schemes that never work?
Those Clavin commercials are basically a one-trick pony, but those eastern European women are so fuckin hot, who cares?
Also, yes, suuuuuuper gay for liking her scarf.