Hey.
Did real-world injuries torpedo your fantasy football playoffs? Did that waiver wire diamond you’ve been throwing into the line up finally turn back into a cubic zirconia (or worse?) It feels like we’re teetering on the edge of “teams giving up and tanking for draft position” territory with these last few weeks of fitbaw, doesn’t it?
That’ll buff right out
Freezer Vodka League
Week 15 (Quarterfinals) Reults
The #1 seed, Shiba is for the People! continues their march toward a gently used Fleshlight, as does Stefon Diggs’ Pink Powder Club, Sydney Sweeney’s Ar*an Tits, and Pump Up The Spam.
Next week’s semifinal match ups? Got them right here!
Week 16 (Semifinals) Preview
Lowratio League
Week 15 (Quarterfinals) Results
One quarterfinal decided by 5 points, the other an almost 40 point blow out. Sports! And with that, we know the last two teams to earn that coveted promotion to the senior league for next season. Congratulations go out to The Hunters of Renfrow and Saquon this Penix. They join AI Abuelas and Rod Rust never sleeps and will be moving on up in 2026. Don’t go putting on airs and dining lavishly at Applebees. You could find yourselves right back here for 2027.
There’s still a championship to win in Lowratio League. Let’s look at the semifinal match ups.
Week 16 (Semifinals) Preview
Can AI Abuelas continue their run of dominance all the way to the end of the season? Can any of the other teams unseat them at the pinnacle of the Lowratio League standings?
Lowratio League Blow Out of the Weak
PROMOTION PARTY: AI Abuelas, Rod Rust never sleeps, Saquon this Penix and The Hunters of Renfrow
RELEGATION RECAP: The Blair Witching Hour, Rev’s Chosen Ones, Tush Pushy Galore and She’s got good Jeantys.
Next week, we’ll know which teams are vying for the Championships in both leagues.
Until Next Time!
/Overworld/Underworld novel update
This 85 yr-old library detective is seduced by a mid-30’s vixen. When asked to describe her he says, “She’s good-looking but she’s no Raquel Welch.”
It’s quite obvious by now that the author is wishcasting himself into the book and the source of many of these shenanigans is, you guessed it-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxtfdH3-TQ4
I haven’t thought of this in years!
https://youtu.be/XEe0qqPAC6E?si=ooso0BaACN_M8dCV
It amazes me, and angers me even more, how professional adults can’t follow the simplest of rules and instructions in the workplace. And then go, “Huh? No one told me.”
Some people should just be packaged up in a small box and shot into space.
The Heat Miser song is held up in Approval? Who let the Snow Miser on the DFO Board of Directors?!
it’s approved now, manglement was arguing about if it was in enough poor taste or not
“Manglement” should absolutely be a real word.
Hey, we get afternoon football today from Orlando. The Cult Bowl starts at 4 PM DFO time.
MAGA has a bowl now?
The first postseason since 1998 without a Manning, Brady, or Mahomes.
I’ve had degrees, careers, marriages, rehabs, and redemptions in that span. Things just might be looking up.
another 20 years to fumigate them out of the announcer’s booth at least
[NotShoGunButShogun looks up]
“Ah, my neck! I think I cracked a vertebrae!”
Broke one of those in 2013!
Thanks for the motivation! 4800 steps, so tonights walk will be a shortish stroll with my boon companion, Mary Wanna.
Last Week: 8” of snow
Sunday: Sub-Zero Wind Chills
Today: 50s
Christmas: 60s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T4uI9Kde4U&list=RD7T4uI9Kde4U&start_radio=1&pp=ygUPaGVhdCBtaXNlciBzb25noAcB
I spent Week 15 re-organizing my buttons drawer and rereading my D+ draft recap. HA HAHAHAHAHA. FF playoff bye is a lofty perch.
A breezy perch, but I had my olive shawl. Post full size logo
.
You root for the Bengals.
– a Las Vegas local, responding to a tourist’s query about the best way to enjoy a Siegfried & Roy show
Yeah, but the key difference is the Cowboys ownership is a rich guy who not afraid to spend money and is actually trying.
Somebody make me get out of bed, stop doomscrolling, and take my morning walk!
Thor thinks you can do this! Get going!
Hey, you! Stop doomscrolling, get out of bed, and take your damn walk!!
I’m not good at motivating people but I’ll try my best.
Dang it.
This was always my favorite demotivational poster
Jump out, walk on with The Doomscrolling Podcast, sponsored by stamps.com
Strong coffee…
I rarely drink coffee. When I do, it’s usually after a nice dinner, and is accompanied by some tawny port and something chocolate .
It’s actually the best natural performance enhancer, used in moderation of course.
Whenever I feel like this, I thank my lucky stars that my local breakfast spot is also an all day bar. Gin and eggs to start your day, just like God intended. Then an afternoon nap.
Hmm
“Three years ago today (12/17/22), the Minnesota Vikings came back from a 33-0 deficit against the Jeff Saturday led Colts, the largest comeback in NFL history(youtu.be)”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_hlvNda2E8
I’m in the bad league. I didn’t know until mid season.
Do I owe an ante anywhere? I’m always good for my debts that I recognize as owned.
“bad league”
That’s a low blow and I won’t have you belittle the Lowratio League in that manner.
You’d better watch your kneecaps, mister.
I wondered why he was warming up with an enhanced Whiffle ball bat this morning.
yes, please send $1,000,000 for your league entry to
GameTimeDecisionGetsPaid at doorfliesopen.com
Thank goodness, Tua was benched. Take the money and call it a career. No one will blame you for having your brains scrambled.
HAHAHAHAHA
adamschefter
1h
The numbers game:
Tua Tagovailoa already has $54 million guaranteed to him in 2026.
On March 15, $3M of his 2027 salary becomes guaranteed.
Cutting him would leave $99M in dead money.
Post June 1 cut would equal $67.4M in dead money in 2026, $31.8M in 2027.
either dead money at home or brain dead money on our bench. may as well eat it and load up on projects and draft for next years(next decade for Josh Allen to age/injure out and Greatriots to fall apart again)
Jefferson for Pitts lost it against, Maestro. Damn.
I have Fatford and Goof as quarterbacks and I managed to play the wrong one of them almost every single week. I should write it a post about it.
BREAKING:
Tua benched for Quinn Ewers…
However, the real story? Tua is relegated to third string, meaning guess who’s back on an active NFL roster?
HIDE YO MOMS, HIDE YOUR AUNTS, THE MILF HUNTER IS BACK ON PATROL
That’s the reclamation project Mike Bidwill will sign up for next year!
“I hope he means me, because I am going to looooooove Scottsdale!” – Zach Wilson
You know who lives in Scottsdale?
Someone was going to have to replace Grumblelord.
WOO HOO! VICTORY! THE HUNTERS JUST GOT PROMOTED! THEY ARE HUNTER/KILLERS NOW!
Shadeur Sanders in a coach killer.
He cost my opponent the game.
Hell yeah! Went on a heater the last 5 weeks to squeak in to the playoffs and got after it!
Insert Costanza gif “We’re back baby”
In my work league, I’m the team on the left. Normally if you are over 100, it’s a win
You played Warren? No wonder you lost. smgdh…
No, I’m the team on the left, that put up 225 points.
Wait, you’re the team on the left? Like you said in your original comment?
From the creators of “Math is hard” league, we bring you “Reading is hard” league
I’m more of a “scanner” than a reader.
I tried to pull another “worst to first” like last year but it didn’t happen. I will say that the “worst” part of the journey comes easily to me.
Now, now…
The worst so far.