Sexy Friday – 20260403

TGIF! And what a good Friday it is. Enjoy all the JV hardwood ball.

Word Count Filler Time

Good Friday? Let’s talk about death!

Sleep
A Thai man died in his sleep at 52. His wife reported that he was laughing for 2 straight minutes and she was unable to wake him up. Then he stopped breathing and died. Doctors said this could be possible, but his was the first time they’ve seen it occur.

Jaws
An Englishman filed for formal permission to have his body fed to great white sharks off South Africa upon his death. Has this man ever seen a shark? Of course not. Has this man ever been to South Africa? Of course not. Does this man know that great white shark would ignore a dead human body? Of course not. He just got the idea after watching Jaws. A shark expert said his decomposing body would most likely be eaten by crayfish.

Insurance
A Chilean cemetery offers an unique coffin perk. Movement sensors are available, for a cost, to ensure your beloved doesn’t endure a catalepsy case. That’s when the body goes into a prolonged paralysis state and gets interned in the meantime. How much fun would it be digging up your loved one? The story you’d all be able to tell for years to come!

Tombstone
An Italian family was regularly visiting the burial site of their loved one for 15 years before learning that was the wrong grave. Due to a legal issue, the body has been exhumed and the cemetery realized they had mistakenly swapped the tombstone with the burial site next to it. The family sued, and the cemetery offered a free plot in exchange. I assume a tombstone assurance rider was part of the contract.

Shotgun
A shotgun expert died and his widow had him cremated and his ashes loaded into shotgun cartridges. The man did not request this, but did at one point mention in passing he heard someone else had done this and he found it humorous, so she complied. His ashes filled 275 cartridges, were blessed by a. minister, then used by 20 of his friends and netted 70 partridges, 23 pheasants, 7 ducks, and 1 (one) fox.

Future
Want to utilize a new way to deal with a corpse? Well, Sweden has you covered. For a nominal fee, they’ll dip your corpse into liquid nitrogen cooled to -196ºC, then blast it with sound waves to reduce it to a powder. They’ll then put that powder in a cornstarch coffin and bury it. Within in a year, that will break down and provide fertilization to grow plants on the plot. So you really can be a flower!

So enjoy your time above ground folks. And don’t forget to tune into the Artemis II livestream this week as it orbits the moon.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!