NFL Conference Championship Preview

НФЛ Конференция Чемпионат Превью

Here at DFO, we are proud to be a multi-national worldly bunch.  We live in countries other than the United States, we were born in countries other than the US, and we have extensively traveled to countries other than the US.  What we have found is that the perspective of people from outside the US can sometimes give a refreshing and useful point of view that can help us as we move forward to make a better life for ourselves and our loved ones.

It is in this spirit that we have reached out to some of our foreign friends to see what they think of the upcoming Conference championships.  We are very proud to feature Дина (Dina) and Валерия (Valeriya), close personal friends of our President-elect.  Take it away, ladies!

Валерия: As you can see from my blue bracelet, this is not my first go-around, so just put yourself in my hands and I’ll lead you to the promised land of correct picks this weekend.

Дина:  Are you talking to those American guys?

Валерия: да, Зачем?

Дина: Oh, because that one guy, Мячи, he seemed really nice.

Валерия: They all do, sweetie, they all do.  And then they get you in a penthouse, request a Golden Shower show, and then refuse to pay up.

Дина: We got our money, didn’t we?

Валерия: Yes, we did, but we had to call in some help on that.  Pain in ass.

Дина: да. But Мячи was nice pain in ass…

Валерия: Ok, maybe he’ll call you.  Now, let’s get to the predictions.

Дина:  Да, конечно.  I think the Steelers will finally beat the Patriots and move on to Super Bowl LI in Houston, Texas!

Валерия: What can possibly make you think that?

Дина: Мячи likes them!

Валерия: Oh honey, that white bracelet really gives you away. I’m going to disagree with you on that one. My mom

told me that Bellichick didn’t need Snapface to see what Brown recorded.  He already had the setup from the visitors’ locker room and the Patriot players were watching it live. They are pissed that they were called assholes and will exert revenge on Pittsburgh.

Дина: Awww, poor Мячи!

Валерия: On the bright side, he’s going to need some consoling, so you may hear from him.

Дина:  Замечательно!

Валерия: On the other side, we have the Green Bay “Packers” taking on the Atlanta Falcons.

Дина: What’s a Packer?

Валерия: Apparently it’s American slang for гомосексуалист.

Дина: But isn’t Аарон their fearless leader?

Валерия: Да

Дина: But he’s our best customer!

Валерия: Да, я знаю. I don’t understand the whole Аарон is gay joke they have going.

Дина: Да!  Considering that they all met at a website that specifically told them how to get анальный секс.

Валерия: In any case, I like Аарон to once again lead the team to another victory.

Дина: But the Falcons’ color is red!

Валерия: Так?

Дина: Shouldn’t we pick them based on that?  Also, Julio Jones and Matt Ryan have made a pretty formidable combo and the running game has taken this offense to the top of most categories!

Валерия: Это правда.

Дина: Plus, they are playing at home!

Валерия: So were the Cowboys and you saw what happened there.  Speaking of, I think we have to send Димитрий after Jones. That old pervert still owes me from the last time I saw him.

Дина: Did you Cleveland Brown him?

Валерия: Да, he’s a sick fuck.  Anyway, there you have it, DFO friends, the Patriots and the Packers will meet in Houston in Super Bowl LI.

Дина: See you soon, Мячи!  я люблю тебя, Мячи!