Earlier today, the Chicago Bears traded DE/LB/Mullet Enthusiast Jared Allen to the Carolina Panthers. Had to be a good deal, right?
According to the WWL: “The Bears will pay $11.5 million of Allen’s salary, while the Panthers will pay him $823,000, sources told ESPN. The Bears will get a conditional pick for the veteran.”
Wow. What hath the pickle era wrought?
For the Bears fans and other sane people that care, is this the start of a rebuilding effort? 0-3 sucks, but is it really time to go all Jeffrey Loria? Is it time to trade Forte and Bennett and stockpile picks? Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Interesting show what do you call that?
http://grimla.deviantart.com/art/Tophat-bear-290374313
THE BEARISTOCRATS!!!!
http://pre02.deviantart.net/0341/th/pre/i/2012/074/0/6/tophat_bear_by_grimla-d4svq95.jpg
“Wow, that’s way cheapah than 3/5. And for a WHITE man!” – J.R.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/df79367dae12cd788aec480a932b90f6/tumblr_noud6u1ImL1qzk2apo1_500.gif
I hope they trade Forte to the Cowboys.
To play quarterback.
They traded Jon Bostic to the Pats as well.
This is a great pick up for Carolina. Jared was never a good fit for the 3-4 as an outside linebacker and now he can go back to a true 4-3 end.
Yep, somebody grab the marshmallows and weenies for this one.
I was going to recommend that Chicago PD get involved but they’re too busy with Lance Briggs and Sam Hurd.
“Panthers Get DE Allen For A Song-League Sees An Extraordinary Gettleman.”
http://thirdmonk.net/postcont/2013/09/tobias-fire.gif
Let’s try this again:
http://i.imgur.com/HxcD7N9.gif
Sweet mother of fuck, the local CBS affiliate are doing a story on Fan Duel.
Will it be more than 20 seconds long?
“Reporter”: How did you come up with this revolutionary concept?
Douche Bro: We basically saw a business model that made money and asked, “How can we get some, without actually doing anything?” Then we spammed commercials and sponsorship everywhere to make it seem like everyone is doing it, and eventually they were. Now if you’ll excuse me, me got to go to bank now.
If anything, can they at least trade Forte so that my fantasy team can salvage some shred of dignity? I’ll give them ten bucks and throw in a conditional draft beer.
The DFO league needs to set a rule that, if your player gets traded, you absorb the next available player at that position on the roster (Effectively, “CHI traded away Forte so you get compensated with the next best Bears RB available while Forte goes to the waiver wire.”)
Why? Because that league is out of its fucking mind.
It needs to include penalties; if your defense commits a drive extending roughing the passer penalty, boom, negative 2 points. Taunting on a game-winning touchdown pass? negative 10.
Somehow including replays would be hilarious too: you could draft a head coach and get points for replays.
Allen is going to kill at least twenty bucks in his first month in Carolina.
Does David Fales see the field this week and fulfill SonOfSpam’s prophecy?
I don’t like his face so good riddance.
That said, considering CAR is the most likely NFC South champ this year, anything that will make the Seahawks wildcard game against them more interesting is fine by me.
I too had an irrational hatred of Jared Allen and am glad to see him good.
I really hope they burn it all down. It’ll be fun to watch.