Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
Futbal is back baby. Woohhooo. But true to form here, I saw nothing of the games on Sunday. Instead I voted and went to visit oldest at school and get the youngest to bring home as they had a weekend together. Go PPC. I’m kidding, not going to vote for those racist assholes. There were also 2 independents on the ballot that I’ve never heard of. Great marketing plan there and if you wanted to throw away $1,000, I can find a use for it.
Moving on, while we lose Sunday Gravy for a bit, we do now get Hippo thoughts, which are always awesome. Who needs to watch the games when you have this kind of in dept coverage of the games.
And in other news, played lacrosse in a (shitty) little men’s league for the first time in 18 months, and let me tell you, sitting on ones arse for 18 months does nothing to help with ones endurance. Holy shit, I was out of breath after the first shift. It went downhill from there. And the cherry on top of this, was being sore for 3 days after. But good to get out and “run” around for a bit.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Rodgres should be his new DFO name. Though it sounds Canadien.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
“Rodgres under centre, he drops back and is hammered by an onslaught of defenders”
BrettFavresColonoscopy
“I’m guessing that next year will be the start of the Love experiment.”
-Me, every year of high school and college
montythisseemsstrangetome
“Not expecting much from Love.”
-Me, coming to terms with reality
montythisseemsstrangetome
I haven’t seen a guy fall out of favor as fast as Deshaun Watson since–well ok less than 12 months ago. And multiple guys. Every year. Hmm.
herodotus450
Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit, y’all, I GOT THE JOB!!!!!
Just gotta wait for the red tape from HR and I am IN!!!!
Anthony In TX
It seems Andy enjoyed his trip to Las Vegas last year.
Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower
Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.
This is the “shore patrol” story.
I was on a submarine called a “boomer” so we had two crews, a “Blue crew” and a “Gold crew” who alternated every 110 days.
I was on the Blue crew in case anybody cares.
When we were in “off crew” and the other crew had the boat, our crew would go back to the naval station at Charleston South Carolina where there were major training facilities.
But sometimes you would have to pull outside duties, and one of these was “shore patrol” which was being a cop on the base. I got it three times (I think it was out of spite) and I despised it.
First, I had to report to the Master at Arms to receive my instructions and get issued my gear. We had to be in dress uniform and then we were issued an arm band that had “SP” on it which I’m pretty sure you can figure out stood for “shore patrol.”
There were two of us doing the rounds of the base and we were both from different ships so we didn’t know each other.
Next, we were issued M1911 pistols, which was the standard sidearm of that era, chambered in .45 ACP. The armorers had already prepped the weapons. We were issued a web belt and the weapon was holstered on our right hip. However, it was unloaded. The magazine with five rounds was issued to us, but we were required to keep that in our left pocket.
I hate guns, yet I have extensive firearms training, in both the Boy Scouts and the U.S. Navy, and the majority of our training was in responsibility.
The Master at Arms would give us a stern lecture about “don’t you ever withdraw that weapon” but if we needed to we better load it and kill somebody but then we’ll doing a lot of explaining to a lot of people.
Then we were issued a billy club.
The Master at Arms then said “if you get in trouble just use the billy club and whack them in the head. You won’t have to explain anything to anybody .”
Brick Meathook
My understanding of Canadian politics now, in gif form:
LemonJello
I own my own one-man California corporation. I’m the chairman of the board and the only employee. I went on strike today. So I fired my ass. I don’t put up with that commie shit.
Brick Meathook
As your union rep, I can tell you that you will be sorry for firing you without due process or just cause. You just opened a can of worms that you cannot shut.
SonOfSpam
At least
we aren’t bees!
Gumbygirl
“Dictator Biden” is trending on Twitter so the stupid people are mad but that’s a full time thing so whatever.
SonOfSpam
A little paraphrasing of Kyle Reese:
Listen. Understand. That COVID virus is out there. It can’t be reasoned with, it can’t be bargained with. It doesn’t feel pity or remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead.
Viva La Tabula Raza
Mark Davis’ lair looks like he bought an old Star Wars prop & turned it into a house.
Beerguyrob
[arranges play date] – Olivia Manning
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
This Raiders team couldn’t win 7 games with an MLB schedule.
blaxabbath
WATCHING THIS GAME IS LIKE DECIDING WHAT YOU LIKE BETTER: CANCER OR AIDS
jjfozz
Well, cancer killed Rush Limbaugh, so I have to say it has a decided advantage right now.
Horatio Cornblower
“False start, by the entire offensive line…”
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2021 Dallas Cowboys.
Horatio Cornblower
The Cowboys go 6-10 and get the kickoff game against the defending Super Bowl champions. Last time my team went 6-10 we drafted EJ Emanuel.
clint greasewood
Dallas is punting in Anger
Recovery Whiskey
Don’t look back.
scotchnaut
The one thing about heightened participation here during the is that it is impossible to keep up.
Viva La Tabula Raza
-The Server
scotchnaut
1:37 left in the 1st quarter of the first game is when I finally broke down and asked the empty room around me, aloud, “what the fuck is Collingsworth talking about?”
hippofant
Also applies to Dallas.
Sharkbait
Sharkbait
Will the site let me comment now?
The Maestro
Only if you are chaste and of good merit.
litre_cola
Must make a sacrifice to the football and server gods
Game Time Decision
Post’lor must be appeased
Gatoraids
I just saw a link offering to show me a video of Stephen A. Smith arguing with Tim Tebow about the Dallas Cowboys.
Not today, Satan. Not any day.
Dunstan
I put this tribute to the Hemingway story up on reddit:
For sale.
Ivermectin paste.
Never consumed.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
This was someone’s response:
this is just to say
i have eaten
the ivermectin
that was in
the tack trunk
and which
you were probably
saving
for your horse
forgive me
i don’t know
if it was delicious
covid
ruined my sense of taste
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Brocky
Hey folks, quick housekeeping announcement. I turned the auto update for comments to 3 minutes instead of 30 seconds – 30 seconds was MURDERING poor old DFO on Thursday. So it’ll still update, just slower. Please be patient as we work through the kinks on the new season.
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
Mrs. In TX assures me that 3 minutes is preferable to 30 seconds, so you’ve got her seal of approval.
Anthony In TX
“The f/k/a Illini are schizo”
I know it’s “formerly known as,” but all I can see is “fuck/kill/’arry” and now my brain is trying to make a connection between Illinois and Hogwarts.
Anthony In TX
Hello Boris, welcome! I read your [DFS week 1] post , understood a little bit of it, and I have one question for you:
WHAT TO DO ABOUT MOOSE AND SQUIRREL?
Gumbygirl
The evacuation on 9-11 was our Dunkirk.
And it was beautiful.
Remember that feeling when we were all Americans and we hugged each other and we loved each other.
Better yet can we get back to that?
yeah right
Yeah it’s going to take an alien invasion at this point.
yeah right
The Federalist: “Joe Biden Failed to Protect Us From the Aliens”
Fox News: “Aliens: Joe Biden’s Leadership Has Failed.”
National Review: “The Aliens Have a Point: Humans Are Tasty.”
Dunstan
Oh, jolly good! The regular Sunday fixture involving the forward-passing of a pointed ellipsoid has returned! I will put up a big sign outside of my villa to inform all miscreants that I will not have time to tend to their business today!
Cecil Rhodes
I have already been in 15 conversations this morning, all regarding Real Life, and my only thoughts have been Julio should get at least 8 targets and Kyler Murray is scary.
Don T
Friend: “I’m just so depressed. I’m still living at home. I have a dead end job that I hate. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. I am completely at a —”
Me (thinking): I wonder if the Bengals will throw a lot more quick passes with Burrow this year. It will help at alleviate the poor pass protection and keep the defense honest.
Friend: “—I guess I’ll just have to keep taking it one day at a time. Thanks for listening.”
Me: “That’s what I’m here for.”
Redshirt
What is the bigger pit of suck? The La Brea tv show? Or the Bears?
Sharkbait
Honestly, I’m just impressed that there’s going to be one network tv show that isn’t about cops.
Dunstan
I’m still waiting for Chicago Transit Authority to join NBC’s Wednesday night lineup.
Sharkbait
LA Parking Enforcement airs on Wednesdays on The CW.
ballsofsteelandfury
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
NOOOO… Norm Macdonald just died.
That sux. And I really hate it when someone younger than me dies.
The first thing I thought of. He was sooo great.
There’s a ton of comedians today (mostly white men) who will go on and on, both during their act and on social media, about how brave they are for saying things that “they” don’t want you to say, etc. Not sure how brave it is when you’re making tons of money from your fans who love it when you say exactly those things.
Anyway, Norm got fired from his job at SNL at least in part because he wouldn’t lay off O.J. Simpson even after OJ’s golf buddy NBC executive demanded it. (I know the reasons have been disputed over the years, but it was certainly a factor.)
He presented at the ESPY’s one year and was not invited back because he didn’t go along with ESPN’s safe, sanitized corporate humor.
There’s no doubt in my mind that Norm could have made a lot more money in his career if he’d been willing to “play ball” more. But he seemed to genuinely not give a fuck, and didn’t wrap himself up in the “look how brave I am” talk and demand credit for it.
So, I really have to give the 2021 scriptwriters credit — I did not anticipate a Dan Quayle appearance. That’s sort of like an Easter Egg for the politics nerds.
(According to excerpts of Bob Woodward and Robert Costa’s new book, Mike Pence called Quayle for advice about Trump’s demands that he not certify Biden’s election. Quayle told him no, of course you can’t do what Trump wants here.)
A Timeline so Darkest that DAN QUAYLE has to be the GOP’s common fookin’ sense.
You wouldn’t think that Trumpublicans would want to be associated with “darkest” anything…
Pence asked him if there was any flexibility with the certification, and Quayle responded with a resounding “Noe.”
On the other hand, AIDS did take Roy Cohn’s mortal coil.
Storm update from SE Texas:
We survived the night relatively unscathed. Lost power for about 8 hours, but it’s back on and we’re all good. Feeling very fortunate, as others have flood and wind damage. This could have been a lot worse, so I think the whole area dodged a bit of a bullet.
glad you’re safe
We got a couple severe weather watch notices from NOAA, but ended up with only a couple of half-assed rain showers. Just way too far west for anything to really affect us.
Sounds like The Whole Area could teach Townson University students a thing or two about dodging bullets.