Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Previews and Last Reviews

Let’s actually start with the latter. I was all set to do the Beaties this week (though that would apparently require time to think about and write the thang ding), but then BattleBots dropped this:

I’m not going to do a full play-by-play because you can just watch the thang ding—erhem, dang thing—here, on their YouTube, or embedded above. But this is now going to slightly cramp my style for tomorrow since I have to watch it. And you should too, because:

Have you ever wanted to watch two robots hit each other with folding chairs? No? Neither did I, don’t worry, it’s like a hammer fight, but with slower, lighter weapons made of lesser materials. No AR500 folding chairs here, to my knowledge. I’m pretty sure they don’t exist, though that would be pretty funny. I mean, HyperShock still needs to make an AR500 Battle Rake. Seriously, they brand that and people would buy the shit out of it. I wouldn’t because at the moment I have no need for a rake at Apartment Weaselo.

Anyway, when I do actually post the Beaties, there’ll probably be bits from this that make it. Yes, like the chair fight. Still needs tables and ladders, though. Onto the news:

-Paging Crimebeat! Davante Adams was charged with misdemeanor assault for shoving the camera guy on MNF. He’s lucky it wasn’t Randy Johnson. No, that isn’t a joke, here’s his logo and everything. (Adams is due in court November 10th.) Meanwhile, Brett Favre has not been charged to my knowledge.

–Yes, Tua remains out. Skylar Thompson will make his first NFL start due to Teddy Bridgewater also being in concussion protocol. But he has resumed football activities. Meanwhile, the Dolphins are more optimistic on Tyreek Hill playing.

-Commie commandant (yes, that is redundant) Riverboat Ron apologized to Carson Wentz for basically saying he’s the problem and why the ‘Dacteds are 1-4 while the rest of the division is above .500. In fairness, he’s not wrong.

-Giants’ punter Jamie Gillan is having visa/passport issues and has not returned back from London. Gillan, who is a British citizen born in Scotland, came to the States as a teen on a NATO visa… but it never got changed to a work visa, so they have to figure that out. The Giants are hopefully he’ll be back before Sunday’s game.

-Dirt Bengals sign new deal with BetMGM to open a sportsbook at Great American Ball Park. Pete Rose is presumably punching air right now as Cincinnati sports fans have reacted reasonably.

What’s for sportin?

Well, as ProdigalSonPaul wrote about this morning, the NHL is back! I hope he’s wrong about the Devils, for obvious reasons, but hey, Sharky and I were able to feast on smoothies last night (okay, I was watching baseball).

So we’ve got iceball again! Remember, all times Eastern.

Iceball (Opening Nights)
Cannoniers vs. Don Cherry’s Favs (CBJ vs. CAR, 7:00)
Canada’s Battle of Sadness: Over in April vs. Over in two weeks (TOR vs. MTL, 7:00)
Fuck that guy vs. That fucking guy (BOS vs. WSH, 7:00, TNT)
BANNER NIGHT! Icedacteds vs. Avalanche (CHI vs. COL, 9:30, TNT)
Water Fight: Bridge Troll Monstrosities vs. Quackers (SEA vs. ANA, 10:00)
Canuckistan vs. Eulers (VAN vs. EDM, 10:00)

Dirtball Playoffs! NLDS, Game 2 (best of 5)
FX Battle! Always Sunny vs. Atlanta (PHI vs. ATL—Wheeler vs. Wright; Phillies lead 1-0, Hopefully not still in a rain delay, FOX)
Cali Battle! Burgundys vs. Scullys (SD vs. LAD—Darvish vs. Kershaw; Dodgers lead 1-0, 8:37, FS1)

(AL Games 2 will be tomorrow, weather willing.) Meanwhile, I can continue to laugh at the Mets, especially if the Phils take Game 2 tonight. Writing time, keys to screen!