Better Know a Slave LaboUr Cup Participant – Belgium! (and Some JV NFL)

First, let’s have a FUN Slave LaboUr Tidbit – did you NOE that overseers are far more likely than private employers to approve overtime and holiday pay?  Turns out 150% of zero remains zero.  And 200% of zero?  You get it!  I ain’t nevar told y’all there would be no maths.

Golden Generation, that term we only use come World Cup time.  But yes, that certianly applies to Belgium, who have pulled the band back together for one last hurrah (or so they hope).

Belgium are managed by Roberto Martinez, who somehow didn’t have his eternal (some would say delusional) optimism beaten out of him by his 3 seasons with Everton.  In fact, the masochist is heavily rumoUred to hop back in the Everton saddle (“Unfinished business” he says) if/when Frank Lampard gets the sack.  He likely gets the job over Lampard last time, if not for his World Cup commitments (and this torneo will be his last, regardless).

This group can score some fucking goals.  Even if perhaps SLIGHTLY past their peak forms, you still have Kevin the Broom feeding the rampaging bull that is Romelu Lukaku.  Provided Big Rom is healthy, that is.  He’s mostly played the part of “cheerleader” with Inter Milan v 2.0, so far.

You also have the badass hair and intensity of Axel Witsel in midfield, along with burgeoning superstar Amadou Onana (Hippo’s new Great Non-White Hope for the Toffees).  One can see why they’ve hovered near the top of FIFA’s rankings so long.

But…the Red Devils have topped out at a 3rd place finish (Rooskie World Cup), and haven’t done much damage at the European Euros.  Not getting a trophy, or at least a Major Final?  That’s going to sting, as a nation of the Belch’s size won’t have this much firepower very often.

Defense, as it was for Martinez at Everton, is the weak spot.  The Belch centre-halves are fucking ancient, especially for top internal play.  Croatia will test the fuck out of this back line, and perhaps Canadia and Morocco will, too.  But you can count on the footy being highly watchable.

Schedule:

Canadia – Wed, 23 Nov (2:00 EST)

Morocco – Sun, 27 Nov (8:00 EST)

Croatia – Thur, 1 Dec (10:00 EST)

By my reckoning, the Maple Fixture will tell the tale.  A win there, and Belgium will go into the Morocco matchup with momentum and confidence.  A draw, and there will be significant pressure to take all 3 against those Atlas LioUn bastards.  But, manageable.

Should Belgium spit the bit and LOSE to Canadia (a realistic possibility), all hell likely breaks loose, and they crash out in the group stage.  I don’t think they match up well with the Ustase at all.

Illinois (+18) at Michigan (Noon, ABC)

Admittedly, this looked like a better matchup before the Illini lost two on the spin.  But still, a tough and physical opponent could wreak havoc on the Wolverines if they’s looking ahead to THEEEEE Week (and they will be).

TCU (-2.5) at Baylor (Noon, Fox)

Is Waco where the Bloodeyes’ dream goes to die?  I give that a DEFINITE MAYBE.

Kansas State (-7.5) at West By God Virginia (2:00, ESPN+)

Remember what I have said (ad infinitum) about the Unded Bill Snyders as a favoUrite.  Especially my MOAR than a TD, away to some desperate Cousinfuckers.

Texas (-9) at Kansas (3:30, FS1)

Good heavens, how it amuses me for this to be a “Revenge Fixture” for Steerfuckers South.  They still have some tiebreaker advantages if/when K State loses, so let’s go Rock Chalk.

Iowa (+2.5) at Minnesota (4:00, Fox)

This game is as relevant as it surely will be ugly – winner is in driver’s seat to get their shit pushed in by THEEEEE in Indianapolis, come two weeks time.  Run, run, punt.  Lather, rinse, repeat.