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Sexy Friday – 20230210

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! We made it to the Superb Owl weekend! I’m flying to Denver to do some low key Moose hunting, visit some friends to discuss their thoughts on Mr. Unlimited, and see their reaction to the Chefs in the big game. Can’t wait!

Survival – Personal Edition

Today’s lesson is immediately useful. That’s right, we’re going to go over the particulars of identifying breast implants. There will be a test throughout the rest of today’s post where appropriate. Well, a series of polls actually, but I will grade each of you that answer them. Anyway, let’s get to the lesson!

  • First sign is gravity defying breasts. Especially over 30, they shouldn’t be high up unless a strong supporting bra is in place. The higher they sit on the torso, the more likely you’re seeing implants.
  • Check the body ratio. Breasts are normally proportional to body size. So a petite lady with huge bazookas could be a warning sign.
  • Look for oddly shaped or arranged breasts. Good implant jobs will not have this issue as much, but bad ones will be obvious. If the breasts are shaped more like a ball, or the implant line can be seen through tight clothing that’s an easy answer.
  • Inspect the cleavage area. If they’re natural, it’s more likely the cleavage will be covered up. With implants, well, they want to show them off. And the cleavage area with implants can show a ripple effect.
  • If it’s appropriate, go in for a tight hug. The firmness will inform you of fakes.
  • Lastly, if it’s someone you know well, just ask. You might be pleasantly surprised how much they want to show them off.

Alright, great talk. Now it’s time for a practical application. After each picture with enough relevant information, answer the poll question. The answers will SHOCK you!

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Poll Question 1:

[poll id=”9″]

Poll Question 2:

[poll id=”10″]

Poll Question 3:

[poll id=”11″]

Poll Question 4:

[poll id=”12″]

Poll Question 5:

[poll id=”13″]

Poll Question 6:

[poll id=”14″]

Poll Question 7:

[poll id=”15″]

Poll Question 8:

[poll id=”16″]

Poll Question 9:

[poll id=”17″]

Poll Question 10:

[poll id=”18″]

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!

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yeah right

Given a vote?

No boob jobs ever.

2
Gumbygirl

I’d make an exception for cancer reconstruction, but other than that I can’t see why anyone would pay to have fake ones.

4
TheRevanchist

The key is that you are thinking about what you want. Everyone gets their own say about their own bodies. Fuck the man and screw the sexist bourgeois!

1
yeah right

Hi!

I hate these fucking 5 day work weeks.

Who invented that?

2
WCS

A real jagoff.

Last edited 3 years ago by WCS
3
Doktor Zymm

Union activists maybe? They weren’t nearly ambitious enough

0
Beerguyrob

Hey – we got you down from six-day weeks. The rest is up to you!

4
Brick Meathook

I’ve been lying in bed for a week recovering from Covid, which I think I’m pretty much over now. The massive amounts of opiates I took didn’t cure anything, but they sure helped pass the time.

Here’s a nice picture of a choo-choo train with great big tits:

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4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The penultimate image reminds me a little bit of the woman I saw on the beach in Ventura at 9 a.m. this morning who was having a beer. Not much of a physical resemblance, but the spirit was the same.

0
yeah right

I love LA.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So does anyone have the answer key?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Silly questions like that are how you get yourself disinvited from one of Horatio’s key parties.

5
Horatio Cornblower

With all the renovations we’ve had going on the last three weeks I have no idea where our keys are, so by all means please bring some over.

7
ballsofsteelandfury

I think Ayo said he did.

0
WCS

Geno Malkin just scored his 1,200th NHL point, the second Rooskie to do that (Ovenchicken).

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3
Horatio Cornblower

he’s not wrong

1
WCS

Ice Stillers – Ice Panthers East Final!

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1
herodotus450

Submitted for your approval: apropos of all the boob talk, obviously harassment and catcalling must not exist if there are still hot women trying to get boob jobs. They just need more compliments!!

0
TheRevanchist

I can watch Cesar Millan train these dog owners all the time. The crappy commercials still make me want to turn it off, though. I don’t give a damn if kiss begins with k.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Here’s how to train your dog. If they do something good praise them and give them a treat. If they do something bad grab them by the throat and pin them to the ground.

This also works with children, but “they” won’t tell you that.

0
TheRevanchist

Those darn “they”! Emeril, on his original food network show, said something like the following:

Now, they will tell you alto add milk to your eggs. Who are they, and why are you listening to what they are telling you? You do what makes you happy. Screw what they try to tell you.

I have been a fan since that day.

1
Horatio Cornblower

If you’re making scrambled eggs then “they” are correct.

1
Doktor Zymm

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3
Doktor Zymm

So it seems Michael Irvin has been banned from all Marriotts, and also he is suing them for ‘canceling’ him

0
2Pack

Will Motel 6 still leave the light on for him?

6
Gumbygirl

Hookers and blow?

0
WCS

He can still snort blow in the bathroom at a Hyatt Regency.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Please tell me this has something to do with Mike wildly misunderstanding the term “scissoring”

3
WCS

He’s more of a razor guy.

1
2Pack

My All Pro

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1
ballsofsteelandfury

She’s amazing

0
2Pack

On of the originals. Her recent funeral drew hundreds of thousands spanning many decades of admiration.

2
Horatio Cornblower

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1
2Pack

Edwige is real. We get plenty of test material on her every Saturday night.

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1
Mr. Ayo

I suck at the polls.

Phrasing….

1
TheRevanchist

It happens when you are drunk. No one here judges… mostly.

1
2Pack

Great work Mr. Ayo. I need a “I took ‘THE’ test” sticker.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Someone on Twitter suggested this needs a 90 for 90, and I don’t think they’re wrong.

1
Doktor Zymm

What in the actual fuck is going on there??

0
WCS

If pop culture has taught me anything, all of New Mexico is a cartel turf war.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Apparently they covered up a murder awhile ago, and the latest has to do with hazing.

2
Brick Meathook

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7
Horatio Cornblower

The true Cannonball Run.

2
WCS

Need to way to shave ten hours off the time.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Drive through Sault Sainte Marie?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Just drop down to Detroit and whatever town Pat Verbeek came from right across the border and you’ll clear 6-8 hours easily.

Sarnia! I think.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Just found out a friend of mine’s kid won the NCBA, (think NCAA, but more punchier), championship at 185 lbs.

If you’re so inclined go to 1:24:10 and you can watch him beat the piss out of a clearly outclassed kid from Navy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN2MDYwXo-Q

3
Doktor Zymm

Fun fact – when men have enlarged mammary tissue, it’s called gynecomastia. It’s quite common and especially in some communities of gay men breast reduction surgery is popular to deal with it

1
Brick Meathook

Real or Implants Pic 11

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2
Horatio Cornblower

They’re real, and they’re spectacular!

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2
2Pack

Mother nature scoffs

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tonight’s cocktail:

1 oz. cognac
0.5 oz Canton ginger liqueur
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
1 oz orange juice
steeped with slice ginger for 15 minutes or so
shaken over ice
served in a coupe glass with a 2:1 sugar:ginger powder rim

Going to present it as a birthday present to my wife’s cousin.

Need a name. It’s her 66th birthday, so I’m thinking “[Something] 66”.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Route 66?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh! How about Root 66!

/cause of the ginger root

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Winner

1
Doktor Zymm

The scientific name for ginger is Zingiber officinale, and ‘z’ is a cool letter so maybe Zing 66?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I kinda like Zingiber-66.

2
TheRevanchist

3 + 66

2
Brick Meathook

Phillips 66

2
Horatio Cornblower

Nice-3.

(literally all of the other names suggested are great, please do not use this one)

1
Don T

“a petite lady with huge bazookas could be a warning sign”
Yeah, for filth AND monogamy

3
Doktor Zymm

She also might be pregnant with a horribly malnourished baby, or suffering from macromastia or gigantomastia

0
Horatio Cornblower

Don’t kink shame me, Zymm.

3
Doktor Zymm

What part of that is shaming? It’s just a list of reasons why a woman might have disproportionately large breasts

1
Wakezilla

Coincidentally enough, I was talking to a friend who is considering getting implants. You really need to do your research and be willing to pay top dollar for a great pair. Too many women don’t do that.

Also don’t be afraid to travel abroad. South America (Brazil and Colombia) are known for implants.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Also México!

0
TheRevanchist

Sin senos no hay paraíso

2
ballsofsteelandfury

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2
TheRevanchist

At least someone gets my reference

2
Horatio Cornblower

We had a friend who was absolutely gorgeous and still wanted breast implants. She never got them, and I like to think our telling her that she was out of her fucking mind had something to do with it.

2
Gumbygirl

This Covid recovery sucks. It took me all afternoon to clean one bathroom. I’m exhausted, it’s fucking ridiculous. Woe is me! But good news, my lungs have recovered enough that I can take tiny hits off a doob, instead of having to choke down edibles. There’s a bright side!

7
Don T

I’ve taken to glass one-hitters ever since they were featured in Frugal Stoner Quarterly.

4
Gumbygirl

I have a couple of glass pipes, but not one hitters. I guess I could just put a tiny bit in and see how that goes.

1
WCS

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2
Horatio Cornblower

Jim Breur (however you spell it, no one cares), is now the go-to comedian for right-wing Anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorists.

Great career move, Jim; your target audience is literally dying from an easily preventable disease. You fucking asshole.

5
Horatio Cornblower

I’m sleeping with someone who highly recommends one-hitters.

I believe Don T has met her.

4
Wakezilla

Longterm Covid person here with a hot tip. Do not get sick. You will feel like death and it takes longer to get over the cold or flu

5
Gumbygirl

I’m wearing a mask everywhere.

2
Horatio Cornblower

All I have left is a really annoying cough, and I’m sure that my wife’s constant pot smoking combined with all the dust from taking down 70-year-old walls and ceiling and then taping, plastering, and sanding dry wall over them has nothing to do with that.

2
Gumbygirl

She’s living in a house with no kitchen and I’m sure everyone still expects to eat. You sir, are lucky she’s not sucking on a crack pipe!

0
Horatio Cornblower

Well, she’;s certainly sucking on so…

/is hit in the head by a brick fired out of a trebuchet

3
Doktor Zymm

Live, from the Cornblower residence
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4
ballsofsteelandfury

Here are my picks:
1- Implant
2- Real
3- Implant
4- Real
5- Real
6- Real
7- Implant
8- Implant
9- Real
10- Implant

1
TheRevanchist

I think they are all ready for penile implants.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’m way too lazy to go back and check my votes, (not to lazy to go back and stare in a way that could charitably be described as ‘disturbing’), but I do recall thinking that there were a surprising number of real breasts.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

I believe I’ve fixed the poll. Please try again!

0
Brick Meathook

War at its FINEST:

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1
TheRevanchist

Did my beverage shopping for Sunday: Light Strawberry and light lime margarita mix, both 10 calories per. Moonshine, 100 proof, only because they don’t sell it much higher with any decent flavor. Pickle juice, since the dark, barrel liquors just need a masking agent. Everything else I need for drinks I already have in stock.

Also bought food, but who really gives a shit about that.

1
Horatio Cornblower

/Andy Reid has entered the chat.
//Uh-oh, he’s stuck

3
Gumbygirl

Fetch the butter.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Can’t, he ate it.

4
Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna open the Cab Franc I’ve been saving to start, then probably gin cocktails of some sort

2
Gumbygirl

Gumby bought a humungous sausage and cheese extravaganza for the Owl from Nueskes. Yum! I might just do all appetizers, mebbe some shrimp with cocktail sauce, and a veggie tray.

3
Doktor Zymm

All appetizers is an underrated way to do a meal, appetizers are the best!

1
Horatio Cornblower

We just did that at a local pub, and I couldn’t;t agree more.

Also, adult me? Brussel sprouts are fucking awesome.

4
Doktor Zymm

I have had some delicious brussels sprouts, and while many of them were absolutely drenched in tasty grease, there were also non-greasy ones that were excellent!

3
Doktor Zymm

I got a NC BBQ package off of Goldbelly, will be having the ribs for the Owl, and been munching on some of the pulled pork and hush puppies for dinner tonight. I decided to try a sort of pulled pork taco and finally try the pickle de gallo I’ve been eyeing at the grocery store. With the pickle de gallo and a bit of coleslaw (for extra crunch and creaminess to contrast with the vinegar elements from the sauce and pickles) it makes a damn fine taco!

6
Horatio Cornblower

I voted implant on the first one, then got told I’d already voted on all of the others.

Didn’t stop me from staring at the boobs, though.

2
Brick Meathook

SEXY FRIDAY:

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3
WCS

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5
TheRevanchist

Reminds me of the movie Folks.

1
Brick Meathook

I could watch this all day. The kid’s slow-motion collapse after getting his dick bitten is great, but so is the dog’s entire thinking process, particularly after the nut-chomp where he is still looking for the red dot.

3
Gumbygirl

That’s what he gets for cropping that poor pup’s ears.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
1
Brick Meathook

What is that?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Dobermans’ ears are naturally floppy. Assholes have them surgically cut and stitched so they stay straight up. Unlike the owner’s dicks.

1
Gumbygirl

It’s disgusting. They do it to Great Danes too.

0
Brick Meathook

I thought they were antlers.

1
Gumbygirl

.

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1
LongtimeLionsLoser

Great Googly Moogly! Those were some thought-provoking poll questions.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Because I’m not sure my votes got recorded correctly and I like to be graded separately:

Picture 1: Implants

More answers to follow…

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah the poll was busted for me, my first vote went all the way through….

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I think the same happened to me

1
WCS

Something busted alright.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are you also looking for an alot of beer while you’re in Colorado?

2
Doktor Zymm

Beer alots are the best alots!

0
LongtimeLionsLoser

Followed only by ocelots.

2
WCS

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3
Gumbygirl

I like bibelots. Alot of bibelots!

1
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