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Sexy Friday – 20230303

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! And just like that, it’s March. At least I’m reasonably sure this one will be better than 2020’s version.

Survival – Personal Edition

And with it being March, spring is about to be sprung. Which means some of you may venture out, even as far as a mountain! Of course, mountains do present some dangers, including quickly changing weather. Today, we’re going to discuss one scenario that may get you: Lightning storms!

  • Be aware of an incoming lightning storm. Watch for clouds and light flashes. Be aware, though, terrain or trees may obscure these signs. A lightning storm can also be detected by the smell of ozone, buzzing sound in the air, or hair that stands up straight. You might even see St. Elmo’s fire: A ring of light around trees or people.
  • Split apart the group. (Aside, don’t wander around a mountain alone) If there is a strike, it’s better if only one person gets Brocky’d instead of the whole group.
  • Remove all jewelry and metal from your body. If your backpack has a metal frame, remove that too.
  • Find shelter. If you’re around a bunch of trees, make sure you’re around the shortest ones. Stay away from any trees that have signs of being previously struck. No trees? Head downhill if you can. If you can find a cave, make sure it’s a dry one and that it’s deeper than the cave opening.
  • Insulate yourself from the ground with rubber, plastic, wood, or natural (not synthetic) cloth.
  • Lessen your target area. Crouch on the balls of your feet, head down, and mouth open. Keep your hands off the ground.
  • Now wait out the storm. Once it’s passed, locate the rest of the group and see if anyone got Brocky’d. Get medical attention immediately if someone was struck.

Congrats! You survived a lightning storm! Hope you got some video for the ‘gram and tik tok.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday! No formal test this week, but you can play by yourself at home.

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!

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Fronkenshteen

Just home from Ubering. Weird weekend at JMU as due to repeated hazing missteps, the administration (with the backing of the national chapters) decided to put every fraternity on double-secret probation. Throw a party, lose your charter. Heavy shit. I asked what kind of hazing got them in trouble. I figured forced alcohol poisoning and maybe some stupid physical abuse. Turns out some of the frats have been waterboarding their pledges. Waterboarding. Maybe I’m not supposed to understand it.

2
2Pack

Give a few assholes a tiny bit of peer pressure authority…

2
Mr. Ayo

Saturday morning Gravy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N0e4eSodHU

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Senor Weaselo

So Senorita Weaselo and I went to see the Demon Slayer sneak preview in theaters. Well, considering we laughed at Tanjiro’s reaction to Mitsuri… fuck, more people are gonna die at the end of this arc, aren’t they.

1
TheRevanchist

Watching On Patrol: Live. They pulled a dude over for. Found he had warrants. As they were searching, it looked to me like they found a strap-on. Nope. It was something called a Whizinnator. Basically a fake dong in a jock strap with a bag for holding clean urine. The fake dong

Maybe sexy Friday?

1
Mr. Ayo

That’s Onterrio Smith’s music!

2
TheRevanchist

They pulled over a couple for a stolen vehicle and found a few vibrators and a strap-on. The show producers came through for us!

2
WCS

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There was a short, but hilarious, stint where a group of WVU foobawl players got caught with Whizzantors to hide Devil’s Cabbage over the span of like six weeks.

2
Mr. Ayo

RIP Sizemore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NhK-FUHi0A

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Mr. Ayo

Brutal ending though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ1rZDgOEeE

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7medV0jzF1I

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SonOfSpam

Aw too bad. Talented guy who had issues.

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Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

That’s cocaine.

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TheRevanchist

They have mountain lions here in the Cali. Maybe the sequel to the bear movie?

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SonOfSpam

COCAINE COUGAR it can mean two things

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2Pack

Great job as always Mr Ayo. Lady number four put some lightning in me. I actually was very close to a lightning strike in the desert. The air sort of crackled, there was a bright flash and it smelled weird. And yes come to think about it, the hair on my neck was standing up. I felt very lucky when that storm passed. The desert gave us no place to hide.

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Mr. Ayo

Ah yes, #4 is a fine choice good sir.

You were right in the middle of a lightning storm. Out in the desert, the crouch down on only the balls of your feet approach is the best.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS COLLECTION OF PHOTOGRAPHS I CALL IT A MONTE CRISTO CIGAR BECAUSE #4 IS A VERY GOOD CHOICE.

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2Pack

Oh no… Not us. We were standing around the only large metal object for miles, a water trailer. Yes I too lead an adventurous (idiotic) life…

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This better be the scene in the Celtics locker room right now.

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Senor Weaselo

I mean, it’s the post-KD/Kyrie Nets!

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SonOfSpam

Wife is watching Cesar Millan, looks like he’s now based in the Inland Empire, and boy howdy are there ever Inland Empire people on the show.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are we talking Loma Linda Inland Empire or Hemet Inland Empire?

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SonOfSpam

More the latter than the former.

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BugEyedBoo

Kind of speaks for itself.

https://blackcracker.fm/remembering-the-evening-whirl/

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WCS

Peak 1980s Achievement Unlocked!

1
BugEyedBoo

That idjit dog of ours got out without her invisible fence receiver this evening, thanks to my idjit mother-in-law. The dog went apeshit beside the house, and it turned out that she had gotten a possum. When those things play dead, you think they’re really dead. As in, “I know these things play dead, but I think the dog actually killed this one.” After getting the dog under control, I grabbed my phone to go get a picture. Sure enough, the possum was playing and is now gone.

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WCS

Free rabies for all!

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BugEyedBoo

It turns out possums are immune to rabies. Their body temperature is too low.

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SonOfSpam

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I learned that after my own dog got herself bit by a possum, who then played dead very effectively.

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SonOfSpam

The play dead thing is quite real.

1
herodotus450

And they eat ticks which have Lyme disease, thereby protecting us softskins from catching it (and they also dont contract the disease either?)

1
2Pack

I have the T shirt

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Last edited 3 years ago by 2Pack
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herodotus450

Apropos of nothing, what does everyone think about adding a new clause to the bylaws, the Arm and Gallbladder Clause, which would require all members of the site to have both arms and their own natural born gallbladder intact in order to remain in good standing?

1
Brocky

Number 1: hey man, you leave lefty out of this!

Number 2: wtf dude I thought we were friends

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BugEyedBoo

Do I get a stipend if I have four arms or two gallbladders? Maybe I absorbed my twin when we were in the womb, and I have supernumerary gallbladders now?

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WCS

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SonOfSpam

Also, no nut-cutters. Need to be fertile. It’s what the F stands for.

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Gumbygirl

Erm…I object!

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SonOfSpam

omg I don’t care if you’re trans

1
Gumbygirl

I’m just no longer fertile. Thank Christ. I don’t miss any of that shit.

1
Senor Weaselo

*looks at scars in stomach area* Well, fuck.

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Brocky

Power outage update: my dad is talking philosophy with the shih tzu and giving him full pauses to answers.

I know he smoked a lot back in the day, and he hasn’t touched since before I was born, but if I find out he’s been holding out on me, I’m going to be very upset

4
WCS

He’s still feeling the effects of his dark retreat with some weirdo friends of his last weekend.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It’s fucking snowing here now. Can barely see across the street it’s snowing so much. Glad to be home

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Brocky

I went from mild rain at 2 o clock to sleet at 3 o’clock to almost no visibility on the drive home

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That’s scary. Almost white out conditions here now

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King Hippo

We have weirdly discordant thunder and gusting winds here. And it got hotter after sunset.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hoping for thundersnow here. have only even been in it once

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King Hippo

That must confuse the shit out of the local dogs.

1
Brocky

Thundersnow legit sounds like a Dragonforce song

4
Gumbygirl

That’s tornado weather. Hope you have a basement!

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BugEyedBoo

I’m building an ark, for when the house goes underwater. Our water doesn’t drain for shit, and it’s now about two acres of muck and three acres of lake.

1
Brocky

I’d follow through on that just because of climate change

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why not just get a houseboat and park it on dry land, and then live in that until the flood arrives?

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Gumbygirl

Didn’t that ark the fundies built in Kentucky or some other hellhole get destroyed in a flood? Lol, good one Yahweh!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

They are projecting 2 to 3 inches of snow an hour for the next 3 hours.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I too am surrounded by mounds of fluffy white powder.” – Jim Irsay, having a good night

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Brocky

So if I can get serious for a moment…

Anyone here ever had their gallbladder removed? I got this reoccurring abdominal pain. At first I assumed it was another kidney stone,, but it’s definitely tied to my eating cycle, and that my Regular doctor diagnosed with the old “if I press directly HERE and it hurts method” and told me they were 90% sure it was that.

Weird thing is most people I know who’ve had them taken out were in excruciating pain where I just kinda gotta avoid certain foods. I got my fingers crossed its a smaller stone that can get lasered, cuz that’s a thing i heard exists.

Going in for the ultrasound tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be an alien form I can tote around like baby yoda

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King Hippo

I’d get it taken out. My brother’s wife did, and it all went well.

Plus, you know. DRUGS.

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Brocky

Surgery doesn’t scare me, being out of commission for an extended period of time does. Got an Easter bachelor party I wanna drink at, and I hate the idea of being unable to move my already sensitive diaphragm.

I keep thinking of my old man getting his belly button hernia fixed. Took him a month to get fully mobile, and that was surface level stuff

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King Hippo

It’s only gonna be a tougher recovery the longer you put it off, though. Just maybe schedule it for the fall, if your doctor allows. That way, your vegetation time is during FITBAW season and you’ll hardly be bothered.

1
Brocky

How long recovery time? We talking two-weeks or two months? My job is pretty stationary, so I can’t imagine it interfering too much, I just don’t have the sick time for it

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King Hippo

I don’t recall but think more like weeks. I was even fairly normal after my PeyPey neck fusion surgery after like 10 days.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Prob 6to8 weeks

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Brocky

Yeah I hate sound like a workaholic but I’d hate to miss that much time away. I’d have to pretty much learn to work from home again

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The first few weeks are tender but you should be normal after that

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Senor Weaselo

I played a gig four days later and was fine. Diet give a few weeks though. I had a brisket mac and cheese about three weeks later with bestest cello friend and broke into a sweat. She thought I was gonna die, and I believe I had a slight vomit session in the restaurant bathroom.

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Senor Weaselo

I have to say, the time I took the drugs and stayed awake it was like the world had a frame rate of 20 fps. It was weird. I did not enjoy it.

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BugEyedBoo

My daughter got it removed at age 20. She suffered from it for years, but her pediatrician misdiagnosed it as costochondritis. Probably because teenagers don’t normally get gallstones. It would hit at random times, and finally got to a point where the pain was trip-to-the-ER excruciating. Scary shit. Finally she went to a grownup doctor, her current PCP, and she said after about five minutes, “Gallstones/gallbladder/bile duct inflammation.” They recommended surgery..

The surgeon was saying things before the surgery like, “It acts like gallstones, but we don’t see it on ultrasound or x-ray. Guess we’ll take it out if it’s in there.” Nice. They did it laparoscopically, which is painful, but not nearly as painful as surgery with a scalpel. When he came back after the surgery he said, “One of the biggest gallstones I’ve ever seen.” I guess they have a little tool that takes bites out of it, so you don’t get the ginormous gallstone as a souvenir.

IIRC, she was out after two days. Had to stay the day of, and the next.

Recovery was a couple of weeks of her lounging about doing nothing. Which isn’t all that different from her normal state of being. Swear to god, I’ve never seen that girl lift anything heavier than money.

(I’m joking; she’s a good kid. No lazier than your average college kid. I just really like that “heavier than money” crack.)

From everyone I’ve talked to, laparoscopic surgery feels like crap for a few days. Headaches and stomach aches until your body flushes out the CO2 that they pump you full of so they can get room to work. Not as painful as a scalpel incision though.

Afterwards they recommended a rest-of-your-life prescription that you drink once a day to help smooth out excess/insufficient levels of bile, since you don’t have a bile reservoir anymore. She took it for a year, then figured it wasn’t effective enough to offset the PITA of drinking a gatorade spiked with a pouch of powder every day. Now she just makes sure she doesn’t stray too far from a john if she eats greasy food.

Last edited 3 years ago by BugEyedBoo
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Senor Weaselo

Yeah, for me it was especially during hot sauce and fattier foods. My last meal was a chicken cutlet BL (no T) and the cutlet was approximately the size of the plate.

Around 2 AM the serious pain had not gone away, and when I say I may need to go to the hospital, it means I might be dying.

Madre Weaselo, who works in the lab, bagged and tagged it that Monday morning and said it was really heavy and full of gallstones.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh neat! The Celtics are going to blow the biggest lead of the NBA season!

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Mr. Ayo

NAWT FAIR! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

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Brocky

Three things…

1. Believe it or not, this is not the first time someone’s implied I had a high probability of getting struck by lightning. A football buddy my junior year of high school said I just seemed like “someone that something like that would happen too.” Jokes on you though. This Eagle scout knows better than to be caught in a lightning storm.

2.my power is out. Amazingly I had the foresight to charge my walking battery. My dad is using it because he didn’t run his phone on power saving.

3. Here’s my contribution for the week

Spoiler

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3
ballsofsteelandfury

God Bless you both!

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Those first few pictures…. Good God!!

1
King Hippo

Belissima!

3
scotchnaut

Akron/Kent State is a cracker that is in OT.

0
King Hippo

I considered a waiver for myself, so I could watch the itty bitty torneos. But then I forgot.

0
WCS

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litre_cola

I think he wanted to either pay for a better cable package or allow himself to gamble on little NCAA MBB tourneys? Or Other Hippo needs another pill.

1
WCS

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Sure, that works.

1
King Hippo

Also FUCK DO I MISS GAMBLOR

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King Hippo

Ah, this may have been sommet i just said in my head – but i have not watched a single minute of JV hoopsball this season.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Same
-most of us filling out a March Madness bracket

0
Gumbygirl

I’ve caught the second half of a couple of my Blazers game’s, but I wasn’t looking for them.2

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tried another allspice dram cocktail tonight:
https://cocktailpartyapp.com/drinks/all-spice-and-everything-nice/

It’s good but maybe needs more allspice dram.

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