Author: Horatio Cornblower

Take A Knee Zeke! It’s The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Before we get into the travesty that the Cowboys' 2017 season is about the become, a few words about Jerry Jones.  Unless you were living under a rock the last couple of weeks you know that our grandstanding Vice-President, Mike "I'm Terrified Of Any Woman Not My Mother" Pence, attended

“This Is The Worst Thing To Happen To Dallas Since 1963”-A Post-Suspension Conversation With A Rational Cowboys Fan

Horatio Cornblower -
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Typical Cowboys Fan:  "What the fucking fuck just happened!?" Rational Cowboys Fan:  "Our star running back has just been suspended for the first six games of the season." TCF:  "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!  WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!??? RCF:  The official reason is that he violated the NFL's Personal Conduct Policy. TCF:  What the fuck does that even fucking mean!?" RCF:  The

Horatio’s Big Stupid Mock Draft

Horatio Cornblower -
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Oh, hello.  Thanks for stumbling into my basement.  There's beer in the fridge and feel free to use the pool table.  No, not for that, just pool if you don't mind.  No, sorry, you can't use the dart board; I need it for my mock draft.  You see I "write"

Requiem For A Cat*

Horatio Cornblower -
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The Chicago Bears this week announced that, after 8 years, they were forced to return Jay Cutler, quarterback and werecat, to the shelter where they got him.  The move is expected to save $2 million against the cap, although all parties agree that it is far too late to save

Your 2017 Daytona 500 Open Thread

Horatio Cornblower -
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My father-in-law is a big NASCAR fan.  Which is weird since he's in Southern California, (unless he's been washed away over the last week; come to think of it we should probably call), by way of Connecticut, neither of which are areas particularly known for rickets, poor dentistry, shitty beer

Your ‘Break Glass in Case of Emergency’ Because Scotchy Went A-Huntin’ Monday Night Open Thread.

Horatio Cornblower -
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Detroit (-7.5) at Dallas Dallas takes on Detroit in the House That Jerry Built With A Big Assist From Public Funds That Could Undoubtedly Have Been Put To Much Better Use But Fuck That Have You Seen How Big Our Video Screens Are? The Cowboys come in at 12-2, having found a

Your 2016 Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Enthusiasm Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Infectious!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Here's what I, a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan, know about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And that about sums it up. I haven't paid attention to the Bucs since the days Dewey and Lee Roy Selmon ran around creating havoc in those classic creamsicle uniforms. You know that