Author: King Hippo

We’ve Only Just Begun (2025) Footy Thread

King Hippo -
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I know I am repeating myself (Carpenter pun alert), but Hippo is very glad that a long ago New Year's Resolution (to stop ever making New Year's Resoliutions) has held for yet another year.  Everything will just fall to shit regardless, remember. So..to the JV playoffs.  5 matches, 5 "so boring

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2024 Season

King Hippo -
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Do you like terrible, no-stakes FITBAW?  Boy howdy, did the last NFL Sunday of 2024 have a treat in store for YOU! How shitty are the Cowpersons, really?  Tanner Motherfucking McKee outscored them on this balmy afternoon.  Saquon stayed in until he broke the 2000 mark, as the N-GCp went dirty to

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2024 Season

King Hippo -
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Whew, Uncle Teddy is back.  I know y'all missed his handsome mug. JV fixtures were all bad, and the NFL proper slate looked...less than promising.  Oddly, Black Panthers/Qards was maybe the most competitive (while still resembling professional FITBAW) early matchup.  As Balding Spiritually noted, Charlotte's finest led 20-3 and 30-20, and

Everton are Freeeeeee(dkin)! and Other FITBAW Matters

King Hippo -
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So much going on in sportsball.  Uncle Teddy takes a one-Saturday ciggy break, to celebrate ball-gargling, money-laundering, fuckhead fraud Fahrad Moshiri finally OUT of my beloved club.  There is no way The Friedkin Group can be any worse, despite being American-led. FUN FACT!  If Dyche gets sacked in the morning agter

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2024 Season

King Hippo -
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Another week of cray-cray, let's get right into it! Ideal 7/5 window is marred by the raw sewage quality of those early seven.  But as always, some entertainment to be found in odd corners of the FITBAW-verse. 500s/LOLfins was the one game with two decent teams and reasonable stakes.  Did you know

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2024 Season

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I hope everyone enjoyed their December FITBAW.  I ended up sleeping a lot, so mind the gaps (PHRASING). Almost all of the quality early came from the AFC East.  Q-aron finally had a throwback statistical performance, leading his charges to 23-15 and 26-23 Q4 leads that his defense could not, would

Saturday De-motivational #1

King Hippo -
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Maybe I will keep doing this once the games stop, and I need something to write about.  Take it away, Onion scientists! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bex5LyzbbBE Yeah, no arguing with the data.  At least we have some mild distractions: Iowa State (+2) v. Arizona State - Big Twalve Championship, JerralWorld (Noon, ABC) New blood, indeed.  Shit, Cornpone

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2024 Season

King Hippo -
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Meh, I slept through the entire 4p window.  No regerts. Did anyone predict an 82-point game in Cincinnati?  With the Stillers on the other side??  But that's what you got, a 44-38 Yinzburgh win, with Charmslinger topping 4 bills (3rd time in career).  Stick a fork in the Bengals, for reals