The Footy Before The Storm

King Hippo - January 3, 2026January 3, 2026

110

Welcome to the hellish realization that the 2-week-long vacation is nearly over. As is the NFL regular season. FUCK. ME. SIDEWAYS. Naut du Scotch will be by shortly to take you into the Black Panther Party, plus late night FITBAW action. But we are done with JV exhibitions, and also pass the

Welcome to 2026 JV NFL Thread

King Hippo - January 1, 2026

312

Oh Christ, let's see how this one can get even shittier! Fucking THEEEEEE, making Da U a thing again. There is also a smattering of footy today, but only Championship (CBSSN at 10:00) in the morning. Even England is being dickholes. 5 Oregon (-2.5) v. 4 Guns Up!! - Fuck You LOLfin Crypto

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 29, 2025December 29, 2025

Huzzah, last time my old arse has to think until 2026! Congratulations to #ThePauls, who were 7 yards away of Pauling away their game-long lead - but they prevail 13-6 and the Ratbirds will have to affirmatively lose the division in Week 18 (which they no doubt will). Sanders and Q-aron

Afrikan Euros, Day-After Boxing Fixtures, JV NFL-palooza

King Hippo - December 27, 2025December 27, 2025

105

All before the Big Boi NFL takes over this evening (with scotchy in command). Such fun! Do give the Afrikan Euros a watch (BeIn has Murrikan coverage), along with whatever fare is served on NBC, USA, and Peacock - starting with Men Untied hopefully battering the Robins Hood (7:30, USA). I

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 22, 2025December 22, 2025

This week, a personal first - ah don't recall a full slate of 1p window games EVAR all final before 4:05 kickoffs. Shit, it's rare even Week 18, when all the late ones are 4:25. Not that anyone really was hoping for those cabbage farts to linger. But STILL. Looking back at the

Sweet Sixteen (Minus 4 Byes) Saturday Thread

King Hippo - December 20, 2025December 20, 2025

115

That's right, y'all all enjoyed Roll Damn Tide and Steerfuckers North last night, we get THREE MOAR this evening. After the Prem sides scramble about this morning (USA/NBC/Peacock), with varying degrees of panic (from dudes missing due to the Afrikan Euros). I'm not sure Everton even have a midfield for the

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Oh, so much chaos. So many ded. THE RETURN OF KING LASERFACE!! This, this was our Week 15. Let's peruse. That return? Old Man Rivers DID manage to throw a TD pass! As a literal grandpa!! But it was not in triumph, sadly. The Humps nailed a 60-yard FG inside the last

Hoopsball Wolven Sort v. Kansas and Other Nighttime Matters

King Hippo - December 13, 2025December 13, 2025

262

I can't help it, although NC State has been "meh" to open the season, there's still more talent than we've had in forevs. Plus, a coach that likes wearing the black hat and isn't afraid to rattle a few cages. We tip off at 5:30 EST on ESPN, which is

Entropy Season in the Prem?

Open Threads

King Hippo - December 13, 2025December 13, 2025

131

It sure seems like we are headed that way. Villa started out like ass, now they are hot on Handsome Mikel's tail (PHRASING!). The filthy Redshite pulled off almost the exact inverse of Villa, to Hippo's Bitter Blue glee. Nobody knows exactly how the Euro-slots after King's Afrikan Water Pistols and

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2025 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 8, 2025December 7, 2025

On this last weekemd of byes, you have to truly appreciate the depth and breadth of Bring out yer DED!! across The Shield's domain. God bless our violent, national obsession. That said, the Ratbirds suck and have no idea how time works (they also kinda got screwed, but they get no excuses),