As some of you may remember, I recently discovered, thanks to Old School Zero’s post, the existence of men’s underwear with special pouches for your balls. These pouches create a nice breathable space where they can relax, like the front porch of your house
or a well-appointed den with large glass doors that let the fresh air in.
Well, I liked them so much that I bought four more in different styles. I am now back with a review of those new styles. Is this an excuse to post pictures of half-naked men with bodies I couldn’t buy with all the money I have? MAYBE!
Ladies, gay men, and straight men secure in their heterosexuality, read on!
Underwear #5 – Aussie Bum WJ Pro (Brief)
I had previously purchased the WJ Pro in the “hipster” model. As you may recall, I was quite happy with this model, specially the fact that it made me feel like I could stab someone with my package from ten yards away. So, I got the brief version.
My impression: I’m not quite sure why, but this one didn’t have the same effect. Perhaps it is the design since the hipster seems to stay up higher at the waist and the brief has a little more give and thus the package drops lower. In any case, now that I figured out how to put them on, there was no pain involved. I really like the color (a green similar to the Miami Dolphins’ green as seen in the picture above). The fit was a little looser, which is ok, but the lack of OUT THERE effect drops some points.
Rating: 8.4 out of 10
Underwear #6 – Aussie Bum WJ Bare (Brief)
This one has the same Wonder Jock technology as the others but is made out of a softer material.
My impression:
This material was super nice and the color (as seen above) was also pleasing to the eye. Although the OUT THERE effect wasn’t as evident as in the WJ Pro hipster, this underwear was WAAYY more comfortable. I wore this all day and it felt like I was wearing nothing at all. It still felt like my balls were presented, but not in a stabby Ravens way.
Rating: 8.7 out of 10
Underwear #7 – Andrew Christian Almost Naked Brief
My impression: I had previously purchased and reviewed the Almost Naked Sports Brief. As you may recall, the major downside was the fact that the leg holes were a little tight. Does this version solve that problem? FUCK and YES! All of the positives are still there and the major negative is now gone. This may be the top-ranked underwear yet! Did I get the purple version shown in the above photo? FUCK and YES!
Rating: 8.9 out of 10
Underwear #8 – Almost Naked Dare Brief
This style is the same as the previous one except for the addition of two criss-crossed lines that supposedly highlight the package for a more “daring” look.
My impression: At first I thought the lines were a bit silly. They are not actually stitched in to the front, but rather are connected at the ends and, when you’re not wearing them, they hang out separately from the main body of the underwear. Once I put the underwear on, however, I understood why they did this. They allow your package to fall into the pouch and then push back against the underwear to make it look like your package is more out there. It is really a quite innovative piece of design and it works. The underwear, like the other Almost Naked models is made out of super soft material and the issue with the leg openings is also not present. I thought that the Almost Naked Brief was best so far, but this one is better.
Rating: 9.1 out of 10
Overall impressions: Again, I am very happy with my purchases. I was able to get most of these discounted as Andrew Christian had a sale going on and Aussie Bum sent me a $10 gift certificate with my first order. I didn’t get another one with my second order, but that’s ok. I’m also very happy with the shipping times. The Aussie Bum underwears arrived within a week all the way from Australia, which is pretty good, and I didn’t have to spend an outrageous amount on shipping. The Andrew Christian underwears arrived in like two or three days so that was good too. There are some other styles available that I have not tried, so I may purchase more, but for now I’m pretty happy. As are my balls.
Post college days of JJ Fozz: third date with this girl and we are getting semi naked and she grabs the waist band of my boxers – nice madras plaid – and the band disintegrates, and rips loose from the rest of the material.
“We need to go underwear shopping for you tomorrow,” is what she says.
And for the first, and last time ever, I did not complain about having to go shopping.
Thus the demise of the Tear-Away jersey in the NFL*.
Notorious Fozz League.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/d54c72d2f714a7276c896b3f780e3bc6/tumblr_njq82al3o21rm0qhbo2_500.gif
http://i.imgur.com/H1IDvyi.jpg
This website occasionally has sales on fancy men’s underwear. You have to sign in to look at stuff, which is lame, but it’s fun enough to be worth it.
https://www.touchofmodern.com/sales
It’s a men focused site, but they have some excellent non-gender oriented housewares and knives and tech stuff so I bought a lot of stuff there for my new condo. Plus I get fun pictures of hot male models while I shop!
Oh shiiittttt… I am buying that DinoPet for my nephew.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/0a18f5982c9ed2fcc4aaf04ef160b282/tumblr_nlid4vmOxL1trty0oo5_540.gif
Guess we need some hangover porn up in here.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/78499357aacd00b59a033657a6879f28/tumblr_nao413OlNe1tuaskpo1_500.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/fSIxk60h.jpg
http://33.media.tumblr.com/e78f625f106d830182188779ff118950/tumblr_nnc4ss1Unx1qz9wlpo1_250.gif
http://33.media.tumblr.com/e60cbf0fec94635f5964a3490b925b1f/tumblr_mhluuvHWQU1r7ksqyo1_500.gif
The Original Pancake House?
What. The. Fuck.
Another comment gone because it sat in the box for 20 seconds without me typing.
Seriously, fellas. Fix this. I’m not about to start typing my comments into Notepad and then cut-and-pasting them into the stupid fucking box so what I type doesn’t disappear because I didn’t jam the “Post Comment” button fast enough.
I have not had that problem.
That is really weird. What browser are you using?
You know they are working on this for free, right?
Another thing; mine seems to “disappear” but if you hit reply again the text pops right back up.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/f4fb4de2a21d2ca7f0101d2072165925/tumblr_nkwzc42Tki1ttpkuho4_1280.png
http://38.media.tumblr.com/457863a912335cb5fc4986ecdf41726b/tumblr_mhinqcRi0H1s1yycxo2_r1_400.gif
I’m on an android phone and have had several long winded responses erased. Before I’d read your comment I just thought it was Gods will. (I’m semi-illiterite and my posts suck.) Perhaps, it was His will. At least neither of us has has had our hamstring torn from the bone. If you ask a certain running back from Huston; that’s what God does to true non-believers. (Assholes)
I think I know what is going on. When the phone screen goes blank and you go back to it, the post resets. If you click on the reply button again, though, the words you entered come back. At least that is what has happened with me.
My budget cannot yet handle an underwear increase, but these posts are putting that at risk.
I always thought it was ridiculous to spend money on underwear. I now see that I’ve been wrong my whole life.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/9abe416b1750485a6cd96e05069b2fdb/tumblr_nnjla5DSbL1r7pumio1_1280.jpg
See, this is where modern Comics have lost it. Superheroes in horribly mundane life situations is hilarious
http://i.imgur.com/ube4zjj.jpg
So THAT’S where Otto has been!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/1a3cb9f12a254b14a9c334d0e32b8ccb/tumblr_nnhexeyFVm1qdy0svo1_250.gif
That’s what my family’s first Windows PC looked like!
However, no one in my family looks like that, so the illusion is imperfect.
http://i1025.photobucket.com/albums/y316/righttobeararms8/Random/Awesome2.jpg
Sam Adams Octoberfest, available in August!
/open thread?
I think there is a new post coming soon. Also, I think there will be a HoF induction open thread later.
But please feel free to post any underwear or non-underwear related gifs and/or jokes.
“a new post coming soon”
Just have some patience; try typing faster and move to your right, maybe even put your finger in my ampersand.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/124df24a3a9594f7ac691de6ef395912/tumblr_nn3sw7GcNE1rig4l8o3_250.gif
OOOOOOOOOOOOOPEN!!*
*Say it like Alley Oop (Canadian style)
http://33.media.tumblr.com/da422aacc04417f736b7a4ba78c74e7b/tumblr_nnhexeyFVm1qdy0svo2_250.gif
http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/article_photos/Channing-Tatum-Strip-2.gif
http://i.imgur.com/ssBk3WC.png
http://41.media.tumblr.com/e83a0262a05b4e3e513938f045caf157/tumblr_mr19eqo6oe1r9dtz3o1_500.jpg
http://38.media.tumblr.com/c8873e014d97d7bae1cc5178869df482/tumblr_nshk6aiviu1s02vreo1_400.gif
I have so many questions about that gif.
http://media3.giphy.com/media/xhCgaMklxqIMg/giphy.gif
http://33.media.tumblr.com/33e717741c1cce114683a017c4982559/tumblr_ne0qanVVxC1qb5qxmo4_250.gif
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http://38.media.tumblr.com/6db9fe9c4cb104c62c08413d0e9e162b/tumblr_n4bokqxWxr1t571r1o1_250.gif
http://i.imgur.com/vrWzsSW.gif
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http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu8h4czXMc1qky2i3o1_1280.jpg
?w=650
http://33.media.tumblr.com/111eeb7efdca16916755658500f04db8/tumblr_nkeqlb6ScZ1r426i4o1_500.gif
http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/709071/24481111/1394295683507/eternal-flash.gif?token=%2FZLMa3DI1W1M8RVpBIxwFqALSwc%3D
Such a great film.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/31875caea6a6527c997a83408ed3938f/tumblr_n0wm3vJwBr1rqkkzco2_500.gif
http://33.media.tumblr.com/e05fceae501fa87e237ce6ae94a3d91c/tumblr_nnt6d0WZXx1rm0qhbo2_500.gif
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I still prefer my boxers because it keeps my package as a surprise for the lady. She doesn’t yet know what is under there – is it a monster to be feared then tamed? is it just so cute she wants to play with it? is it a hedgehog?
The mystery drives them into my boxers. The disappointment and crying that follows keeps them from coming back.
[potato falls out of Speedo]
/boxers flap flies open
http://38.media.tumblr.com/11d0def97a761c84e65b2c16239166b6/tumblr_notoucTDy81rwl09fo1_540.gif
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http://33.media.tumblr.com/18f69a57c1b31c2937b5059933d03aec/tumblr_n5e2iwRGm71sa5fiko3_250.gif
Stupid Sexy Flanders
Hall of Game hate watch?
Of course! That’s tomorrow, isn’t it?
No, the inducations today.
I think DTZM may be posting a liveblog or open thread post later.
I don’t know if I can comment on here, but I’d like to say how nice it is to see you all. And fuck Uproxx. They need to stop using the KSK name.
Welcome aboard! Come for the dick jokes; stay for the earnestly serious underwear reviews.
Thanks Rikki. I’m amazed at all of the great content here. I didn’t comment much at KSK, but the site was always high on my rotation. Also, I now know others share my concern for proper satchel support. No more shame!
I like your preparedness, BoS. See, I carry a Leatherman everywhere I go because you never know when you might be able to just tighten a screw or cut twine, or whatever your multi-tool was designed to do. And maybe you don’t have wire cutters on you, but instead, should anyone need a male stripper, you are johnny-on-the-spot with the confidence of knowing you leave your house for work every day with the most batch-enhancing gear you can find. Even the Boy Scouts would tip their hat to how seriously you take: always be prepared!
There is money to be made out there! Always Be Prepared To Strip!
https://youtu.be/WYTL1m0VCHk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYTL1m0VCHk
I don’t know why this makes me laugh so damn hard but it does.
On the advice of one of you in the komments, I ordered some ex officios and some David Archys, both in boxer brief format. The former are made from amazingly soft material and are definitely a winner. The latter have a separate ball pouch and a lift and insert section for your dong. Totally weird the first time I put them on, but the separation feeling grew on me.
grumble grumble during trial separation is definitely the time to strike grumble grumble
I think that was Covalent. I haven’t tried them yet, but I may do that soon.
DFO became a soft-core gay website so gradually, I hardly even noticed.
YOU may not have noticed, but after leaving the site up on our pc my fiancée sure as fuck did. goddamnit I was just trying to think of a funny comment.
/time to find a new Beard
You know, I threw out a gay-themed concept to OSZ and wasn’t fully serious about seeing it through, but now I might just have to recruit some more folks and get it done.
Recruit? Hell you’ll be beating them off with a stick!
Wait, that came out wrong.
I’d like to think I had some good ways to experiment with the gay ideas.
Yeah. I said it.
http://i.imgur.com/XSLRD8c.jpg
Where did you get that picture of me? !?
Now I know what to get you for Christmas.