No, not a jazz odyssey, an exploration. Clearly this is not an exclusive club, but I wanted to dig into it further. Just bear with me for a second as we take a closer look at the standings and who led each of these teams to their respective records. I have faith that you all can figure out the parentheticals, especially since it’s not Antonio Cromartie (12).
AFC EAST
New England Patriots (14-2) Jimmy Garoppolo (2), Jacoby Brissett (2), Tom Brady (12)
Miami Dolphins (10-6) Ryan Tannehill (13), Matt Moore (3)
Buffalo Bills (7-9) Tyrod Taylor (15), EJ Manuel (1)
New York Jets (5-11) Ryan Fitzpatrick (11), Geno Smith (1), Bryce Petty (4)
AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) Ben Roethlisberger (14), Landry Jones (2)
Baltimore Ravens (8-8) Joe Flacco (16)
Cincinnati Bengals (6-9-1) Andy Dalton (16)
Cleveland Browns (1-15) RGIII (5), Josh McCown (3), Cody Kessler (8)
AFC SOUTH
MYSTERY TEAM (9-7) Brock Osweiler (14), Tom Savage (2)
Tennessee Titans (9-7) Marcus Mariota (15), Matt Cassel (1)
Indianapolis Colts (8-8) Andrew Luck (15), Scott Tolzien (1)
Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13) Blake Bortles (16)
AFC WEST
Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) Alex Smith (15), Nick Foles (1)
Oakland Raiders (12-4) Derek Carr (15), Matt McGloin (1)
Denver Broncos (9-7) Trevor Siemian (14), Paxton Lynch (2)
San Diego Chargers (5-11) Marmalard (16)
NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys (13-3) Dak Prescott (16)
New York Giants (11-5) Eli Manning (16)
Washington [REDACTED]s (8-7-1) Kirk Cousins (16)
Philadelphia Eagles (7-9) Carson Wentz (16)
NFC NORTH
Green Bay Packers (10-6) Aaron Rodgers (16)
Detroit Lions (9-7) Fatt Stafford (16)
Minnesota Vikings (8-8) Shaun Hill (1), Sam Bradford (15)
Chicago Bears (3-13) Jay Cutler (5), Brian Hoyer (5), Matt Barkley (6)
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta Falcons (11-5) Matt Ryan (16)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7) Jameis Winston (16)
New Orleans Saints (7-9) Drew Brees (16)
Carolina Panthers (6-10) Cam Newton (14*), Horse Balls Anderson (2**)
NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks (10-5-1) Russell Wilson (16)
Arizona Cardinals (7-8-1) Carson Palmer (15), Drew Stanton (1)
Los Angeles Rams (4-12) Case Keenum (9), Jared Goff (7)
San Francisco 49ers (Rams and 14) Blaine Gabbert (5), Colin Kaepernick (11)
A couple of observations:
- This was a waste of my time. NFL.com, ESPN, and the other usual suspects don’t list out games started in a sortable, searchable fashion that was helpful here. I cobbled most of this info from here and wikipedia. In a related note, I am already behind on work for 2017.
- Not at all what I was expecting. In the AFC, not a single division winner (or any of the playoff teams) had the same QB start every single game, while in the NFC, each of the division winners (and ALL of the playoff teams) did.
- Every division has at least one quarterback who started all 16 games–except one. Thanks, Ginger Hammer!
- I put asterisks on the Panthers data because it’s still rigodamndiculous that Cam got benched for one series for not wearing a tie–and Derek Anderson promptly threw a pick. Horse Balls gets two stars because he has two huge balls.
- Matt Ryan has started all 16 of the Falcons regular season games each year since 2010 and all but 2 since 2008 when he was spelled by Chris Redman for two games. Not gonna lie, kind of impressed, and I had no idea he’d been so consistent/healthy.
- Drew Brees has started all but 2 of the Saints regular season games since 2006 (!), missing one start in 2015 (Luke McCown started) and another in 2009 (Mark Brunell started). Breesus Christ indeed.
- Philip Rivers has started all 16 games for the Chargers each season since 2006, taking over from a quarterback who started all 16 games in 2005: Drew Brees.
- But the king of consistency, apparently, is Mr. Juice Box himself. Eli Manning has started EVERY SINGLE REGULAR SEASON GAME for the Giants since 2005, and even started 7 games in 2004. Maybe Ashley Manning was taking deliveries for her brother in law, too.
- It should go without saying, but there are some ATROCIOUS quarterbacks on this list that have no business ever starting a game. And this doesn’t include the pupu platter of other QBs that got garbage time or were compelled into replacement duty.
- Back to the point, though, I expected far more of a correlation between multiple quarterbacks and shittiness of division. The NFC East had every single QB start all 16 games, and that is a pretty stable division. But other than that, I don’t see any conclusions to draw.
- HOWEVAH, any team that started three quarterbacks (except New England) this season is a hot steaming pile of garbage. Which is no surprise at all, really. :sigh: I somehow miss Moses Moreno.
As usual, I learned nothing, and Roger Goodell remains a national disgrace. I’m sure Dok or some of you high-falutin’ stats types may be able to dig into this further, but I’m tapped out. May the playoffs not suck!
Welp.
I am very much looking forward to
“AND NOW, your 2017 Jacksonville Jaguars starting quarterback,
http://24.media.tumblr.com/d2313e535233eb6f415dd809add9155a/tumblr_n291jqRwfp1qdci9xo1_500.gif
BLAINE GABBERT!”
New York Jets Moving Forward with Bryce Petty, Tell Ryan Fitzpatrick “Don’t Come Around Here No More”
to Geno Smith: Yer So Bad
I think Matt Ryan is just too boring to get injured. Getting hurt would make him marginally interesting and we can’t have that.
Can we get some statistical analysis on all the Matt backup QBs of the past few years? McGloin, Moore, Cassel, Barkley, Flynn, Leinart, Schaub.
You forgot Sanchez.
And I think the easiest thing to do is look up Kyle Orton’s rookie year stats and assume they did that
I am an idiot. I might still be drunk from last night
Matt Sanchez is Nacho’s incognito name when he goes to the clinic
I thought you came up with your Incognito Name by using your first pet as your first name and a horrendously offensive racial or sexual slur for your last name.
I guess mine would be Doc Larceny. I couldn’t come up with a racist term for a last name that is German for thief and liked Doc Larceny
http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/news/nfl-quarterbacks-stats-matt-ryan-stafford-hasselbeck-schaub-names/1hbdmg5gkdewk1d85akpm0r2mj
Sorting by name from http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/qbindex.htm, Matt PALES in comparison to Mike:
Matt Barkley QB 1 2013 2016
Matt Blanchard QB 0 2012 2012
Matt Blundin QB 0 1993 1997
Matt Cassel QB 50 2005 2016
Matt Cavanaugh QB 16 1979 1991
Matt Flynn QB 8 2008 2014
Matt Gutierrez QB 0 2007 2009
Matt Hasselbeck QB 111 1999 2015
Matt Kofler QB 3 1982 1985
Matt Leinart QB 12 2006 2012
Matt Lytle QB 0 2000 2001
Matt Mauck QB 1 2005 2005
Matt McGloin QB 4 2013 2016
Matt Moore QB 15 2007 2016
Matt Robinson QB 12 1977 1982
Matt Ryan QB 114 2008 2016
Matt Schaub QB 79 2004 2016
Matt Simms QB 1 2013 2014
Matt Stevens QB 1 1987 1987
Matthew Stafford QB 72 2009 2016
Mike Boryla QB 8 1974 1978
Mike Buck QB 2 1991 1995
Mike Busch QB 1 1987 1987
Mike Cherry QB 0 1997 1998
Mike Elkins QB 0 1989 1989
Mike Ernst QB 0 1972 1973
Mike Glennon QB 11 2013 2016
Mike Hohensee QB 1 1987 1987
Mike Hold QB 1 1987 1987
Mike Kafka QB 0 2011 2011
Mike Kelley QB 1 1987 1987
Mike Kerrigan QB 0 1983 1984
Mike Kirkland QB 1 1978 1978
Mike Koken QB-HB 1933 1933
Mike Kruczek QB 7 1976 1980
Mike Livingston QB 51 1968 1979
Mike Loyd QB 0 1980 1980
Mike Machurek QB 1 1984 1984
Mike McMahon QB 6 2001 2005
Mike Micka FB-HB-QB 1944 1948
Mike Moroski QB 8 1979 1986
Mike Norseth QB 0 1988 1988
Mike Nott QB 0 1976 1976
Mike Pagel QB 33 1982 1993
Mike Perrie QB 1939 1939
Mike Phipps QB 46 1970 1981
Mike Quinn QB 0 1997 1998
Mike Rae QB 9 1976 1979
Mike Taliaferro QB 13 1964 1972
Mike Tomczak QB 54 1985 1999
Mike Wells QB 0 1977 1977
And that leaves out a few Michaels (e.g. Vick) and two Mickeys
“Leave out the Mickeys? What kind of party is this?”
– Darren Sharper
Just for the record I survived my drinking game I made up last night. Shot every time the football game goes to commercial. There was nothing but people giving their best wishes to my family about my death but I made it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9q7EjHxYsE
Anyone else already drunk, or, at least, on the way? Yeah, it’s 13:16 EST, but I don’t go back to work for another week.
Anyway, cheers to taking down the Christmas shit, FINALLY vacuuming this place, and getting the furniture back where it’s supposed to be.
http://img.pandawhale.com/123736-deadwood-huzzah-gif-Imgur-al-s-7yIJ.gif
I need to finish a quetionaire and wish I could get drunk off my ass.
I woke up drunover, took a couple shots so I wouldn’t feel like dying and ended up mildly drunk again. I got nothing going on today so I am ok with it.
Good times
Incidentally, what was the reaction here to the boat pics of the NYG receivers? They seemed slightly…… extremely gay. Also: a party for a playoff berth? Don’t think I’ve seen that before.
Eli tried to take them on those Duck paddle boats, but they ditched him with his mom-wife but ran with the theme
“Gay? Whatever, man. Grow up.”
– Brady Quinn
AGAIN WITH THE GUYS MAKING DUCK LIPS!
“I don’t know why everybody keeps making fun of Brady Quinn, I’d KILL to have a body like that.”
– Aaron Rodgers, while murmuring “in my bed” under his breath.
I’m 28. I’m older than a lot of Giants players. I stopped trying to relate to them a long time ago. Odell Beckham wears a special pair of cleats and a special helmet for pregame warmups and then changes for the game. I can’t process that. But I love to watch him play.
“A playoff berth is the pinnacle of NFL success.”
also, outlasting that motherfucker who won’t stop talking about carboat
This made my day.
I posted the short version of this last night and was told to post the longer version. I was drunk and lazy so I didn’t. Enjoy the longer version plus Norm interview before it. The last bit is still the funniest part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywpHcLhSbXA
Was on a Norm kick the other night.
It’s unfortunate that the Bears are so bad even the fourth place frustratingly futile franchises schedule won’t help them much next year.
Why are the Bears 4th? Shouldn’t they be 3 based on SOS? I was trying to figure this out since Sunday
Ah. I meant fourth place schedule, not fourth pick in the draft.
But yes, tie are broken in the draft strictly on strength of schedule.
And I misread that. They will be fine next year
All I ask is for a few more players like Jordan Howard to root for so they team doesn’t seem so damned uninteresting.
I honestly think they have a decent base now if the entire roster doesn’t go on IR again next year.
“Well, we’ll probably be safe as long as the sun doesn’t rise in the morning.”
What is with the Bears? I mean, Fox has been a successful enough coach in the past. Is it a GM thing? Is it just a matter of the rest of their division being strong right now (I know DET/MIN are inconsistent)?
I mean, the Bears are a storied franchise. If Cutler were more durable, would they be more like .500 team?
http://i.imgur.com/QOhRnSU.jpg
Tl;dr version: Too many years of drafting poorly. Angelo and Emery were mostly bad in their tenures and it’s left Pace with very little to work with.
The only question for the playoffs seems to be: Does the NFL want Dallas v New England so badly that it’ll cheat to get it? STAY TUNED!
They’ll cheat to get Dallas. Belichick already has NE covered for cheating.
Also, I feel like Wilson is used in war rooms across the league as why there shouldn’t be a need to build an O Line. “Well he’s got two and a half feet of that orange construction netting in front of him but still starts 16+ games a year, I don’t see why we can’t demand the same out of Goff!”
“Excellent note, Mr Kroenke! I’ll get the #DanGoffErous posters into production immediately!”
The Seahawks don’t even need to waste money on offensive linemen; just dig a moat and fill it with Recovery Water and the ol’ Charmslinger will be just fine.
I feel like Geno will be the next mobile QB to try to reinvigorate his career by signing on with CLE.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0512c01a663cd0259c69966c70f4bc35/tumblr_n2a9fxu5Xl1s567uwo1_500.gif
I read that as CFL. Probably still apples.
Holy cow. Could you imagine how many yards per game CLE could give up on a 150 yard field?!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/a52f892cc6b4d8f16a5184b80e973615/tumblr_mrm8dutXDd1saw7pro1_400.gif
Funny how that after seeing how the Bills and Niners are run, it’s not controversial to say Cleveland isn’t the worst run team there is.
The Browns are intentionally shitty.
At least Haslam brought in a leadership team to run the organization. I’m not saying the saber-metrics approach will work; but they do have a vision. The 2016 Browns were the 2014 Raiders — suffocating under bad contracts, no football leadership after years of meddling ownership, and top tier status as a FA no-go. The Raiders had success letting Reggie McKenzie purge the bad shit, draft well (Mack, Cooper, Carr), start showing FA’s it was a worthwhile place to either land or give a prove-it year, and get a coach with balls of steel and fury.
Jed York is doing it his way and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. He’s made this clear. He’s young Jerry Jones giving Jimmie Johnson the axe (Harbs) except he doesn’t have any kids (yet) to tell him how to do things right in 20 years. As much as I hate the 49ers, their ghetto could-never-afford-rent-within-200-miles-of-SF fans, and their SB rings, hammering two shitty franchises in the division gets old. Jed York is a fucking mega cuck and USC should replace the Niners in the west in five years if he continues to run that show.
USC exceeds the NFL’s salary cap