Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 12)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 13, 2015June 14, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's secret lab inside the DFO clubhouse, where a large naked man has suddenly appeared. DTZM: What the heck...? The large naked man simply stares menacingly at Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, before breaking into a huge grin. Giant Naked Man (laughing): Ha! I so had you going! You make

TURDSDAY NIGHT FOOT FETISH

WCS - November 12, 2015November 12, 2015

650

Well, here it is. Our favorite greatest coach ever gets his shot as the new(ish) head man of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills visit Met Life Stadium at 4-4 (2-1) against a surprisingly competent Jets team, who is 5-3 (3-1). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with living in a world where

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 11)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 6, 2015June 14, 2016

The scene: 30,000 years BC, more or less. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is curled up on the floor of the hut, clutching his bag of weed tightly. Covalent Blonde is attempting to wrestle it away as Horatio Cornblower and OSZ try to reason with him. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: No

Boo This Man

NFL News

BrettFavresColonoscopy - October 30, 2015October 30, 2015

[SCENE: Interior, NFL Headquarters. Uneaten pizzas litter the tables as men in suits nervously check their blackberries for updates on the DOW, emails from their assistants, and missives from their mistresses. The room is silent save the clicking from their outdated keyboards and the nearly imperceptible wheezing emanating from the

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 10)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 30, 2015June 14, 2016

The scene: Halloween night, one year ago. Otto Man, dressed up as Spider-Man, is walking down the street. Otto Man (singing): Otto Man, Otto Man, doing whatever an Otto can... In the distance, a car approaches slowly. Otto Man: Man, I'm sure glad OSZ talked me into dressing up tonight. Every

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 9)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 23, 2015June 14, 2016

The scene: Outside of the DFO clubhouse. All is quiet out front, aside from the pitiful voice of Ballsofsteelandfury. Ballsofsteelandfury: Guys...hey, is there anyone around? I need some help here... The camera pans up to reveal Ballsofsteelandfury hanging upside down from the flag pole. Ballsofsteelandfury: Aw, come on, guys... The sound of

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 8)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 16, 2015October 16, 2015

The scene: 30,000 BC, some time after noon. The DFOers have been brought back to the savages' camp, and are being held under guard in a hut, except for Otto's Brain, who is being rolled back and forth by some of the children out front. Covalent Blonde: I still

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 7)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 9, 2015June 14, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. Doktor Zymm is on her cell phone, and has several laptop computers open as well as several large books with titles like “Advanced Theories in Quantum Mechanics ” and “Time Travel: What To Do When Things Go Wrong.” Doktor Zymm (into the phone):

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 6)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 2, 2015October 1, 2015

From the journal of PK: Gosh, what an exciting time it's been since I joined Door Flies Open! It seems like only yesterday that they welcomed me into their ranks (disclaimer: I am still a prospect, and not a full member) and I have to admit that it's been the best

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 5)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 25, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: Outside of Le Muffin de Crosse, a French bakery in the downtown area. OSZ and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van are just stepping outside, licking frosting off their fingers. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: See? I told you this was a good idea. OSZ: I'm not arguing. It's just that it's a five-mile

Kirk Cousins Visits A Subway

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 23, 2015September 23, 2015

[WASHINGTON D.C., SUBWAY INTERIOR] Sandwich Architect: Hey man, don't you think it's about time we took down that RGIII cardboard cutout we've got by the door? He's not even starting for the [*Redacted] s anymore. Assistant Manager: Yeah, you're probably right. Someone said the same thing yesterday. Is there room for it in

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 4)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 18, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: An interrogation room in the City's Police Department. A member of the DFO sits in a chair as the department's Hard-boiled Detective grills him. Hard-boiled Detective: Look, buddy, you can play the tough guy all you want, but you're not walking out that door until I get some answers. DFO