Walking the Walk with a Withered Leg – Ravens Preseason Punchout

Team Previews

jjfozz - August 29, 2024August 29, 2024

See that sentence? I just tore my ACL, sprained my thumb, and suffered a hamstring injury where the tendon unfurled like a flag, burst through my skin and waved around like a kraken’s tentacle. Yes, this is the life of a Ravens fan over the past many years – injuries. Injuries

Your 2018 “I’ll Keep my Money, Bisciotti” Baltimore Ravens Preview

jjfozz - August 8, 2018

Twenty years ago I bought my PSL for the Ravens. After i wrote the check I had $100 in my bank account, but having been brought up on football, and starving for the same, I was all in. This year I didn’t renew my tickets because I’m sick and motherfucking tired

Conflicted Feelings About Confusing Shit

jjfozz - August 1, 2016August 1, 2016

Christmas is almost here. And I don’t mean that fucking bullshit holiday where I spent a million dollars on gifts and hear my kids say, “Is that all?” on a Christmas morning that is witness to a thudding headache and dry mouth – because the holiday season calls for bourble. Nope,

Car Shopping With Rosie O’Donnell

jjfozz - July 26, 2016July 26, 2016

The only car salesman I have ever liked was the one portrayed by Kurt Russell in the 80’s classic “Used Cars.” If you haven’t seen it, go watch it and then come back here. Until you do, consider yourself dead to me. Seriously, how in fuck have you not watched this

Old People Are Good Fuel for Bonfires

jjfozz - June 27, 2016

Old people suck. They should be returned to the earth so we can grow tastier carrots and potatoes. Old people are fucking up my neighborhood, and imposing their outdated, cranky views on young couples and their kids. It started at an HOA meeting – dreadful punch and cookies, not a drop

Things Dean Pees Does in the Booth During Ravens Games

jjfozz - October 28, 2015October 28, 2015

Football is done in Baltimore for the 2015 season and purple camo wearing fans are circling M&T Bank stadium with pitchforks, torches, and lukewarm cans of Natty Boh Ice. (Perfect for smoothing things out when the meth is wearing off and your monthly check is on its way and there’s no booger sugar