2024 Copa América: Uruguay, presented by Marcelo Bielsa

Before elaborating on Uruguay, let me address The Thing for single-issue Uruguay observers: Luis Suárez, 37, is in the squad. Uruguay won the first three recognized world championships of fútbol early last century, and later the 1950 Mundial in Brazil. Those championships represent the four stars atop Uruguay’s crest: The wheat, of

Slave LaboUrs Recap and Knockouts Day 1 Mundial Open Thread

Hola, beautiful gente. Your regularly scheduled pachyderm is doing kingly stuff so excuse me while I hijack this spot to talk about an infuriating, kooky, and pretty freakin' absorbing Mundial. But first, our respects and a word for the dead. Category obe, countries that only scored one goal: https://media.giphy.com/media/F21kBMSPSrdZDLBIbD/giphy.gif Yeah, the "respects part"

On the Offensive – Uruguay Slave World Cup Preview

Greetings, cretins. Line up your toothiest, bity-est takes for the farewell performance of Luis Suárez’s career. More accomplished nags than I will also expound on Suárez’s presumptive dirty play and diving, which would sully further the already unredeemable festival of greed and homophobia that is the Cutter World Cup. It

Elite Eight Waffles Open Thread (and Some Other Minor Contest)

Yes, the Elite Eight is upon us, and only mighty Belgium is keeping me interested whatsoever (ok, maybe Les Frogs a little).  Coca Bros. pulling me back in to fuck it up at the death was just too much, man.  RIP, Sarah Lynn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GM_tEOkosM France (-105) v. Uruguay (+350; draw +215) (10:00

Messi! Cristiano! Etc.! – World Cup Elimination Open Thread

This World Cup has delivered: dynamite games (62% decided by one goal), no team looks unbeatable, two untraditional juggernauts (Belgium and Croatia), penalties penalties penalties… It should get even better in the knockouts, and what a start: a Messi – Cristiano doubleheader. You could argue about their greatness compared to

Russia 2018 – World Cup Day 2 Open Thread

The 2018 World Cup starts today in full, WITH THREE GAMES WOOOO! Four years is too long a wait, dammit. So we gotta squeeze this tournament to the last drop. The World Cup is the top event of the world’s top sport. “Big deal” fails to define it, in earnest or

2018 World Cup Preview: The Uruguay Way

The Uruguay bullet points are: being a tiny nation nuts about fútbol, and a team that features a biter. All are true, as the English press and other haytahs will remind us with evergreen hackery. Just know that the history of fútbol cannot be written without Uruguay. The English Football Association