So in the most Jetsiest offseason imaginable, in which the starting DE decided that getting high and driving 100000mph was a safe way to look after a child, their 2nd round draft pick suffered an injury which sounds like he was hit in the chest with a sledgehammer wielded by The Mountain, and (as extensively covered on this site), the breaking of a certain jaw, what will be the next calamity to befall the Frank Grimes of NFL teams? Here are my predictions:
– Revis covers Marshall so closely in team drills that they somehow fuse together into an unwieldy, useless, well paid monstrosity.
– The team drinks somehow become contaminated with 1900’s disease cholera.
– The team trades for Mark Sanchez.
– Antonio Cromartie’s children realise he can’t name any of them and burn him alive in a poorly constructed Wicker Man at training camp.
– Too many curse words are used at camp, causing the black plague and the emergence of a large demonic dragon.
– The team trades for Tim Tebow.
– Geno Smith recovers for the Dolphins game in Week 4, only to have Suh tear his jaw off completely and frisbee it into the crowd.
– The Jets are sucked into a very localised black hole.
What do you think is next for this Jets team?