The First Real Open Thread of the Season!

FOOBAW-TIME

Holy crap, it’s here.  We have ACTUAL, COUNTING FOOTBALL for the first time in roughly 10 quatrillion years.  We’ve been subjected to preseason football, Ballghazi, Spygate Redux, The assorted ongoing [*Redacted] s debacle, the goddamned Patriots being your returning champions, the preseason knee apocalypses of Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin, thousands of terrible think pieces about violence and concussions, the weird muzzling of Junior Seau’s daughter at the Hall of Fame, Geno Smith getting punched in the face by a teammate, and everything else awful pertaining to football being dragged into the light.  Sadly, this is in no way a comprehensive list.

But now, we’re here.  We’ve climbed an Everest of garbage and planted our dick joke flag on top of NFL mountain.  Let’s have a great time tonight, kids.

 

FOO’BAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gina Carano

Tennant Dr Woh Yes

Loki

Al Bundy2nd Half Post is up HERE

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
DTZM escaped his dark timeline through a wormhole created by Lord Screech, after he destroyed Bayside for never allowing him to mate with Lisa Turtle. Zach now lives a quiet life in St. Louis with his wife, Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski. They have no children, but do have the world's cutest dogs.
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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll be watching baseball until this shit ends. Someone alert me.

Sill Bimmons
CBQUE

Hey Tom this is a man that would rip your fucking head off & drink your blood. Again the only hall of fame players on D he’s seen in the playoffs , Ray Lewis & Ed Reed, have fucked him up. Swallow that Simmons. Honorable mention to Strahan.

Yuck.

scotchnaut

This is god damn painful.

Thrillhouse

I officially welcome the meteor. Whenever you’re ready.

Mother Puncher

Any other AFCN fans hating themselves for rooting for the Patriots?

Redshirt

Patriots won the Super Bowl?

comment image

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

They’ve had an entire soccer half of pregame coverage

scotchnaut

I think the only Pat I’ve ever liked during the GrumbleBum era is Troy Brown.

Mother Puncher

Randy Moss always seemed like he hated it there, which makes me like him.

Lothar of the Hill People

Wait, the Patriots have a black cheerleader?

How’d they sneak her in?

Sharkbait

They bused her in

Sharkbait

Even as the resident DFO Pats fan, this is a little much.

LeighAnne

You should enjoy it; your team won. Also, Brady is 38, so maybe there’s one most Super Bowl in his era, if you’re lucky.

The Mighty Feklahr

I must be the resident DTF Patriots fan?

LeighAnne

You should enjoy it; your team won. Also, Brady is 38, so maybe there’s one more (at the most) Super Bowl in his era, if you’re lucky.

Stabby Pants

‘But this trophy feels slightly smaller and deflated then the other ones.’

Horatio Cornblower

As much as I hate the Patriots I would sort of respect them if they sent Brady out with the 4th trophy.

WCS

Okay, this can officially eat a dead raccoon’s dick.

King Hippo

I wish I was there, and I wish I had many, many guns.

Lord Joe Don Looney

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT METEOR?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bet this guy’s hero is Drew Brees.

I declare war on New England.

Thrillhouse

O Fortuna? Christ. I need booze.

Mother Puncher

But my fantasy draft isn’t over!

Horatio Cornblower

If the rest of America is coming to Gillette Stadium it’s with torches, pitchforks and a bad attitude buddy.

Lothar of the Hill People

Jebus. How long does this circle-jerk go on for?

The pre-game, not the rivebrog.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Get used to using mute. I got it silenced and Kraft being Kraft is no reason for me to unmute

Sill Bimmons

Dropkick Murphys.

Why?

Which one of those fucking troglodytes had ever even witnessed a dropkick? #DFORWC

Stabby Pants

Boston Market commercial now. I am this close to buying a pressure cooker and visiting a boston sporting event.

Oh great I almost forget how NBC and the other networks will overzealosly badger us to watch their staid non-football programming.

SonOfSpam

its spelled “stayed” smh

Duchess

OMG guys did you hear Rodney Harrison actually picked the Patriots to win. He really went out on a limb with that one.

King Hippo

Bob Costas. So grateful for my mute button.

LeighAnne

Dropkick Murphys peforming on the field with neon shamrocks on the stage behind them.

Not enough clichés! They should be drinking Sam Adams while singing!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I owe this to Leigh

http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.hitfix.com/assets/5628/pratt_abs.gif

Shut up Zymm I know it is a repeat

Sharkbait

Livebrog on vacation?

Livebrog on vacation. HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS??

ThePirateSloth
The Mighty Feklahr

thats some good vacation hustle!

Lothar of the Hill People

I was lazy today and didn’t work out. As punishment, I’m not letting myself drink beer tonight. Tomorrow I run; tomorrow I drink.

WCS

There’s always liquor…

The Mighty Feklahr

True story: I am wearing the Gronk tshirt my wife’s hot aunty bought me. I wonder why she is always buying me stuff, giving me money, baking me cookies, and letting me eat her pie?

WCS
LeighAnne

“Pie” is a metaphor, right?

The Mighty Feklahr

Sure, why not?

Stabby Pants

The Dropkick Murphies at a Patriots game? They are officially just trolling us.

SonOfSpam

The band Boston would play, but they’re too stupid to use a Hibachi outdoors.

CBQUE

Marky Mark & his fun bunch were not available. Still if this was Seattle we’d be looking at Macklemore.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

fantasy matchup : Galatasary versus New England , I would solely watch crowd shots

Duchess

It’s like how Chicago always goes with Fallout Boy.

CBQUE

So Antonio Brown will get mugged all night and Cris Collinsworth won’t say a fucking thing, but if Gronk ges a sideways look the flags will fly right? Fuck this team. The next Pats fan that complains about the league not kissing their ass enough should have his or her asshole packed with cockroaches

SonOfSpam

Gonna give him the ol’ “Syracuse Salute” eh?

The Mighty Feklahr

Wait, are there actually Pats fans that don’t feel as if they are shown enough favoritism???

http://i.imgur.com/0d23H4Q.gif

CBQUE

You haven’t been to Deadspin or ESPN’s comment section have you?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s like, when Napoleon was the king, people would constantly try to conquer him…”

Rob Gronkowski is football Dirk Diggler.

We want the ball and oh shit

A neon sign just exploded from the power of his Gronking.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, I think I can breathe again, so I got that going for me. Hey Fek you asshole. Nice to see you.

Stabby Pants

‘What’s it like to belong to the cheatingest group of cheaters ever? Because for me, I know my soul has died, Gronk.’

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

When are they going to get to the fireworks factory!?

Lothar of the Hill People

Holy crap, all the fahkin’ content heah!

It’s gonna take me until kickoff to catch up.

Thrillhouse

How the fuck you doin, boys? It’s good to be back.

Fuck this segment…

The Mighty Feklahr

Hey, you hate the Pats all you want but Gronk transcends all!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– the doctor from Human Centipede

Stabby Pants

Ask him about time machines, Rodney.

scotchnaut

“Gronk, your play has the momentum of a runaway train. Just how great are you?”

makeitsnowondem

lady snow just yelled “WHAT ARE THOSE” at the cat again, so we’re off to a great start.

Horatio Cornblower

What did the cat say?

scotchnaut

From what I know about cats, I’d wager it was “Fuck you”.

The Mighty Feklahr

I am going to be so lost, not doing Fantasy Football for the first time in seemingly decades. Football for pure watching enjoyment? MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

Fuck off Rodney.

Stabby Pants

Is it just me, or are we already melting down the servers?

The Mighty Feklahr

A little bit, yeah.

ThePirateSloth

HinesWald commentaly don’t mert steer serlels!

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Good news about the new site, no annoying pats fans wondering in

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

key word being annoying

The Mighty Feklahr

I can try harder to be annoying!

Brocky

No auto update on mobile? How do I word press?

The Mighty Feklahr

A TRUE GREATRIOT classic

http://i.imgur.com/zStlUAK.jpg

WCS

Christ.