Holy crap, it’s here. We have ACTUAL, COUNTING FOOTBALL for the first time in roughly 10 quatrillion years. We’ve been subjected to preseason football, Ballghazi, Spygate Redux, The assorted ongoing [*Redacted] s debacle, the goddamned Patriots being your returning champions, the preseason knee apocalypses of Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin, thousands of terrible think pieces about violence and concussions, the weird muzzling of Junior Seau’s daughter at the Hall of Fame, Geno Smith getting punched in the face by a teammate, and everything else awful pertaining to football being dragged into the light. Sadly, this is in no way a comprehensive list.
But now, we’re here. We’ve climbed an Everest of garbage and planted our dick joke flag on top of NFL mountain. Let’s have a great time tonight, kids.
FOO’BAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd Half Post is up HERE
C’mon ref… say it: “5 yards, cheating” … you KNOW you wanna.
/gently pushes open door/ Good evening gentlemen.
/places top hat on hat rack
/gently swats all on the the backside in good fun
What a pussy punch. You’re gonna punch a guy, punch him. Don’t try to be sneaky so the ref doesn’t see it.
Jeez, I hate the Patriots so much I hate how they punch guys.
Brady looks like a psychopath… he’s a Trump supporter so it fits
Weird, usually Edelman is the one who swipes right…
Unfortunately, the first snap of Brady’s season wasn’t his ACL
God is dead.
“LONG LIVE GOD!”
-Kim Davis
Ha. Ha. Eat it, Pats!
Hey Greatriots, looks liie Roger is a lover spurned now.
If he’s told the officials to flag the Pats for their fouls, they will go 4-12.
Gritty
CFL ads during the NFL game. So cute!
All former Jaguars are doomed to failure.
CRIPPLE THE DICK
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dYQzjp40yyE/hqdefault.jpg
Big fan of 3 o’clock high references.
Blow jobs > Steve Jobs
Somebody’s kicker just wracked up a big -4 with that miss in the DFO league.
Every time I look at one of these dumb ass play callers fuck things up I remember Bill Walsh saying put the ball in the hands of your best players and stop overthinking. But no these assholes have to get cute. Fuck you Boss Todd.
You can take the kicker out of Jacksonville…
With Stiller kickers going down faster than Spinal Tap drummers, at least he didnt spike himself.
I hope on the first play the defense dogpiles on Tom Brady NFL Blitz style.
Goddammit Josh Scobee.
Nothing like some good ol’ American HiFi to go with Thursday night football.
CHECK THE BALL PRESSURE!
more like shaun missham
Jeff Reed-esque.
Godfuckingdamnit
Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside…
Playing for the FG.
Ask Mike Fucking McCarthy how that turns out.
Is Scobee the drunk?
That kick looked like he was high on mescaline.
Al Michaels hates having to work with Cris Collingsworth….
but still does his fucking job Kim
Tomlin Vs. Belichick in a fight who wins?
Belicheat’s dentist!
Belichick would lose the battle but win the war eventually when he sleeps with Tomlin’s mom.
41 years total as an NFL coach, his entire life a humorless prick.
Holy shit a Camaro. This night just got epic
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/20131216/4925494/zack-catlin-iroc-z-drift-o.gif
You knew NBC wasn’t going to have anyone ruin their narrative about The Patriots dominant defense. Which basically stops no one other than Luck & Manning.
‘It’s almost like they know what plays their opponents are going to call soemtimes. Thats how good they are.’
Anyone here having trouble with the refresh?
Here.
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Extremely.
Yep.
Yurp.
OK I’m on it.
Try a little masengil. That’ll get rid of that not-so-fresh feeling.
(One of SNL’s best commercial parodies, when Michael Jordan did the masengil commercial)
I’m prett sure Bell would have had about 50 rushing yards by now
2nd and 28 draw play courtesy of John Shoop. Stay tuned for the 3rd and 24 bubble screen.
Dear JHVH-1: Please let Rapey triumph over Cheaty. And let Cheaty Jr. be dismembered and his body parts displayed in the four quarters of the Football World.
And I would like a pony.
Isn’t it about time for Tomlin to trip up a defender on a Go route?
So much for that display of competence…
First flag of the season, drink!
Wait, we have to have a reason?
BOSS TODD CARES NOT FOR YOUR TRICK PLAYS
Yeah chris let’s focus on the patriots defender getting owned, not the ot doing his job
Ah, there we go. There’s the steeler’s trademarked option pass that they’ve been runnign for 15 years.
Brown may know how to throw, but he sure as shit doesn’t know how to throw it away.
FIRST DERP OF THE SEASON!
I read your handle as Motorboating Average. I don’t apologize.
Well, now Antonio Brown’s Total QBR is shit.
IROC FAIL
The Patriots have clearly gotten together on the high-lighted hair extensions.
I hope Todd Haley uses the Patriots trophies for his chewing Tobacco spittoon.