Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!

Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games  he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!

 

 

 

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Doktor Zymm

So, is being a punter better or worse than being a cowboy? If I ever have a son, should I let him grow up to be either?

entropy

Neither. And definitely not BOTH, for fuck’s sake.

Senor Weaselo

Was that not grounding?

Old School Zero

“family of punting” is like ye olde english for some sort of hereditary neurological deficiency

Redshirt

Grounding much?

King Hippo

fucking seriouly

litre_cola

Is this setting up for a last minute drive where Jeeeeeem can lick Peytons taint?

Redshirt

Just for that, all Roughing the Punter penalties should be rescinded for the rest of the game.

Senor Weaselo

A Football Life: Punting Dynasty

blordinaryfagicmox

Thought they were going to make out for a second…

Redshirt

(relieved I’m not the only one)

litre_cola

Trent Dilfer has the same amount of Super Bowls as Peyton, Trent would love to tell you about it.

Stabby Pants

When you ask ray Lewis about super bowls, he just starts yelling ‘You can’t prove I did nothing wrong after the super bowl.’

MikeWallaceAndGromit

But what was his launch point?

Sill Bimmons

Also too teh Farvenis…

entropy

Y’know, if some asshole really did win over two million on Fuckduel, don’t you think we’d have heard about it BEFORE the commercials telling us about it? That shit’s hard to hide among sports bettors.

WCS

Oh, Lord, you KNOW PK’s going to love that nugget. TWO PUNTERS PUNTING FOR DIFFERENT TEAMS IN THE SAME GAME?! WHAT A COUNTRY!

JustStopDude
WCS

THANKS OBAMA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whose shoe was that on the field?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

That ball took 14 seconds to travel 13 yards.

packman_jon

FUN FACT: Every time “War Chant” is played, another FSU football player gets arrested

Brocky

We did that in high school. Bobby bowden must hate me.

Old School Zero

As soon as Peyton breaks Favre’s passing yards record, he’s gonna text cock shots to Jen Sterger to exceed another of Favre’s measurements.

Brick Meathook

Yeah but Peyton’s never just having fun out there.

entropy

True. For someone who seems funny in his SNL appearances, the Manningbot is one humorless fuck on the field.

King Hippo

It would be awesome if Sterger asked.

Doktor Zymm

You know what they say about guys with cramped necks, eh? wink wink, nudge nudge.

Doktor Zymm

Element of football history I’ve never pondered. Why is it called a “down” and not an “up” or a “ten yard progress unit” or whatever?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

The ball is restarted down on the ground each play?

litre_cola

Ball put down to start the play? Just spitballin here

Redshirt

Why is it called a football when the ball is legally kicked on about 2% of plays?

blordinaryfagicmox

Probably an old rugby term. Like, when the linemen get “down” in their stance. Watching rugby is pretty fun to spot the predecessor of football rules. It’s like watching a sport and being rewarded with an archaeological dig

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, not that.

Doktor Zymm

I can actually follow modern day rugby because of the common root with football, but this particular terminology still has escaped me. Good call to look into rugby history though.

blordinaryfagicmox

In rugby it seems like the whole “down” idea is something of an honor system–when youre down you have to give up the ball but play doesnt exactly stop. I like to imagine the jackass harvard player in 1910 who held on to the ball a little too long, every time, and they had to change the whole sport to correct for it.

Sill Bimmons

Eleventy billion yards don’t mean shit when lil’ bro has twice as many Super Bowls.

WCS

Why do cats insist on throwing up hairballs a foot away from tile or hardwood, and on the carpet instead? Is it just to fuck with me? It’s just to fuck with me, right?

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t bounce.

Sill Bimmons

Who the fuck could possibly care about the life of Whitey fucking Bulger?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Massholes?

jjfozz

People in a town that never had a decent Italian mobster

King Hippo

THIS. Or a nice Jewish badass, for fuck’s sake.

JustStopDude

I love the story about Al Capone’s bag man. I forget his name (he was a Polish Jewish fellow), but the dude’s job was to just pay off the judges and the cops. Everyone liked him. Well some local thug roughed him up and Capone confronted the dude in a bar.

Dude mouthed off to him and Capone asked him what he said. Before the dude could respond, Capone put six rounds into his head, screaming “I can’t fucking hear you” in front of a bar full of people.

The bag dude ended up getting arrested in his sixties or some shit.

The Chicago outfit always fascinated me because unlike most cities, the organized crime didn’t give a fuck about your background or race as long as you made money.

King Hippo

They were really quite the fascinating bunch.

jjfozz

Al Capone did not fuck around. I aspire to be him. Kind of. Without all the killing and murder.

Doktor Zymm

The long-term unemployed?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

OWAH MAHBSTAHS ARE MOAH REAHL

Brick Meathook

When Whitey Bulger was arrested he lived ten blocks from me. What an asshole.

JustStopDude
jjfozz

Is it me or could those cheerleaders haunt a house?

litre_cola

The one on the left is in a program, just give her a break

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Yeah- heavy makeup and HD are not a great combination

Stabby Pants

Next week: Who will fail harder?

John Difool

My football self probably wouldn’t even have the decency enough to wake me up before sticking it in….

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I will watch anything with Emily Blunt.

entropy

Cris Colinsworth and Phill Simms present: an evening with Chris Berman & Trent Dilfer, featuring a cameo by Emily Blunt?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Please don’t, I’ll…I just..oh no

blordinaryfagicmox

With musical guest James Blunt?

entropy

I’d apologize, but I’m kind of an asshole.

WCS

YOU MONSTER

King Hippo

Emily Blunt cupping PK’s Balls?

entropy

Jesus. And I thought I was being cruel.

Stabby Pants

A flickering sign showing ‘Attempt’. Sums up the Reid coaching philosophy perfectly.

Doktor Zymm

Who names their son who eventually becomes a kicker after an Egyptian City/Hoochie Dancer?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This Chiefs kicker is tiny! Does Andy Reid just carry him around in his pocket in case he needs a snack?

jjfozz

1. Buy steel toed work boots
2. Work out legs until they are swole
3. Find Phil Simms
4. Kick him in the nuts until he dies
5. Rejoice

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Your Kickstarter business plan intrigues me, and I would like to back your proposal.

King Hippo

One Presidential Medal of Freedom, coming right up!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I will mail you my old steel toed work boots.

Doktor Zymm

With a little vacation time, I could probably sneak up on Phil Simms, drug him, and implant a tracking chip, making it easier to find him when you’re prepped.

King Hippo

I like how this plan is coming together.

WCS

@make it snow

Get a bird feeder los gatos can’t reach, and let the hilarity ensue.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

And Alex Smith reverts to being…Alex Smith/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And revert to the mean.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JustStopDude

I was so pleasantly surprised how good that movie was. Fantastic sound track, good story, and great casting.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I own the DVD but I am watching a stolen version as I go to bed. No Bluray in my room

Senor Weaselo

29-yard pass play? Who’s at quarterback now?

entropy

“If there’s a weakness in this Denver defense,”

it’s this Denver defense?

Doktor Zymm

29 unexpected!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only 20 yards off from being a WR touchdown!

Doktor Zymm

I have screens in my windows. They haven’t given anything to Jamaal Charles yet, as far as I know.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

do you want a gif dick? I mean I will work on that

Doktor Zymm

Nah, it’s all good, I can work the internet.

Brocky

Christian Okoye: the one nfl player my Nigerian professor could name.

That’s the end of the story

Stabby Pants

Andy Reid made bad play calls? Must be a day that ends in Y.

Redshirt

So I see Peyton calling his own plays proved he is not a Three Laws compliant robot.

makeitsnowondem

The cats are enjoying their first taste of an apartment with a balcony. It’s pretty adorable.

Old School Zero

Has Lady Snow set the beer booby traps back up yet?

Asking for a… uh… friend.

makeitsnowondem

Your friend seems to understand the consequences of guessing about that.

Redshirt

Just be sure the windows have a good screen. Cats may land on their feet but that doesn’t help on the third floor or higher.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Pics, motherfucker.

Senor Weaselo

Lamar Hunt coined the idea of Roman numerals, so we’re going to talk about it on a year we’re using Arabic numerals.

jjfozz

Just don’t use them Arabic numbers on a homemade clock because, well you know

WCS

Walked down to the gym, and it was PACKED, all of my machines taken. I thought only weird loners like me went to the gym at 22:00. Fuck those people. I guess I’ll booze instead.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I love working out at the end of the day.
Gym. Beer. Bed.

entropy

Fun fact: 120 1-lb curls count as 1 30-lb curl!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What should I drink if I have horrendous heartburn? Options are lagunitas ipa, whatever new Belgium is in the fridge, good gin, or lots and lots of scotch.

King Hippo

IPA

entropy

Good gin, because liquid Christmas makes everyone happy.

Doktor Zymm

I made Cranberry Clove infused gin once. It was Everything Christmas.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Even us J-O-Os?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Milk. Then scotch.

bourb0nblues

IPA, seconded.

WCS

I’d say scotch. I loves me some gin, but, it makes the chestal cavern burn with the fire of a thousand suns.

Doktor Zymm

Pintrest : Home of “Hot Guys with Cats”
comment image

Senor Weaselo

This proves it doesn’t matter where you go on the Internet or who you talk to, we’re all obsessed with pussy.

John Difool

Hot guys with pussy… practically my life story.

hippofant

Moar like hot cats with guys, mirite?

John Difool

Pretty much..

Stabby Pants

‘Yes, Christian Okoye was great…but let’s talk about Peyton Manning.’

CNN is running the halftime show, I see.

King Hippo

That entire “A Football Life” should be drunk college students playing his character on Tecmo Bowl.

bourb0nblues

Clemson gives up 100 yard kickoff return TD

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

The geniuses are back! #Geniuses

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