Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!
Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!
Why can’t anyone play quarterback?
Seriously.
These Refs are going to have to have Tommy John Surgery with all the flags being thrown tonight.
Eh, everyone these days gets TJ, it seems.
Got to inflate the air mattress some more. I swear Tom Brady has been fucking with it.
THIS GAME I CALL IT A UNITED NATIONS SUMMIT BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE FLAGS THAN YOU CAN COUNT AND IT’S KINDA BORING AS SHIT.
If you’re GEICO, you run ads that make you want to murder a baby. It’s what you do
My dad lied and came back tonight. I am just thinking get drunker. Like the plan when he was gonna stay in Chicago
Got my dog downstairs before he got angry. Happy about that
So he really was just going out for cigarettes?
Wait that doesn’t make sense. I fucked that joke up.
He just hates the dog. Not personally but hates the idea of him
On a scale of 1-orgasm, how much does Jim prefer broadcasting golf to football?
That rates a “Sex Sent me to the ER”
Frank Zombo is still alive?
It takes a lot to kill a Zombo.
My friends thinks that Norm MacDonald is a bad Col. Sanders and it should have stayed with Darrell Hammond.
So I’m reexamining my life-long friendships with them…
Your friends are terrible people with stupid, stupid opinions.
This 49ers ad is definitely an ad because no one dies
Special Teams going all out fucking up the simplest things.
And another fucking flag on a special teams play! These assholes all deserve beatings. Fucking hell, even the Browns can complete a punt without a penalty! They do it like 30 times a game! Get your shit together!
Tonight’s game is brought to you by the color yellow.
Bill Parcells would like a word.
Flag, I think someone made a swear, 15 yard penalty and they have to sing the I’m Very Sorry Song.
+q.7
PHUCK YEEEEEW PHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL
I truly wonder about the conversations between Manning, Kubiak, and Elway. These guys have egos, folks, and they have contracts also. Elway lost 3 Super Bowls before he won 2; Manning won 1 and lost 1; Kubiak was a career backup who probably has full mental & physical health. Who tells who what to do? Think about it…
Nothing but incomplete passes from now until a FG at the end of the game… 4th quarter will be 3 hours long.
Anyone else just hear that needle-scratch-on-a-record noise from the broadcast?
Whew, I thought I was having another stroke
Thank you! I thought I was having a stroke.
“I thought I was having some pudding!” — Trent Green
I almost had a stroke from those coincidental comments
Thank Christ. All I need is more auditory hallucinations… Bad enough every hot woman I see seems to say, “of COURSE I want you,” I don’t need random noises from my football broadcast now.
Tee Martin would have made that throw.
Deep ball overthrow, DRINK.
Come on, Chefs
http://throwbacksnw.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Raekwon-the-Chef.jpg
Pey-pey nearing 15 whole points in the Insanity league!
I’ve gotten my share of $10 million before, I once got a check for $0.27 from a class action law suit.
What’d you get with that sweet, sweet lawsuit money?
1/270th of a beer!
What kind of beer did you get that’s $72.90, and how tasty was it?
one dollar AND NINE CENTS
Baller! You be diving in the class action money, scrooge mcduck style.
The Jerk Opti-Grab settlement figures.
The Jerk reference…I am duly impressed, good sir.
Come on Chefs…
http://www.hy-vee.com/webres/Image/CMS/Health/chefs.jpg
That’s a pretty badass looking crew.
If this picture is an accurate depiction of this throwing skills, I can see why Kubiak only had 5 starts.
http://www.sikids.com/sites/default/files/multimedia/photo_gallery/1009/nfl.backkup.qbs/images/gary-kubiak-05253120.jpg
Still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueOyFydWX7s
Remember when SNL wasn’t garbage? Good times.
I don’t think I’ve even turned it on in 3-5 years.
I did once last year. (shudders)
STRONG TAEK INCOMING
SNL was and will always will be mostly terrible with a few exceptions.
It’s like high school: we get a year older but the jokes stay the same.
WHY’S THE DOOR OPEN?! CLOSE THE DOOR!
Does anyone benefit from cuts to show the owners’ boxes? I say neigh.
I want to make a music video where all the dance moves are ref hand motions.
Holy shit, I want to help write the script and storyboard
Off hte top of my head, at the break, we need to have that guy saying, “He’s down there, giving him the business”
False Start would get some serious work.
Conga line sequence.
It really could be a day in Ed Hociuli’s life with a referee dance throughout.
That’s good watching
All walking off means is that you aren’t paralyzed and no bones are poking out of the skin. You can walk on pretty much anything with enough will and adrenaline.
I ALWAYS purchase adrenaline when offered. I don’t have the will.
All the will and adrenaline in the world will not let you walk on lava.
That reminds me of watching a show about the Chargers/Dolphins OT playoff game in 1981 (still the best game I’ve ever seen). Bob Keuchenberg talked about how Kellen Winslow was a pussy for having people help him off the field in that game. BITTTTTEERRRR.
Alex Smith found the spin move button on his controller!
I don’t think Andy Reid is the guy to just throw a random challenge flag.
Michael Irvin thinks this game, like PTA meetings and lunches, needs more hookers and blow.
In fairness, he has a point.
JUST THROW IT TO KELCE
“I don’t wanna go to Kelce”
“Did not make a very good effort” ? Fuck you Nantz.
Hey baby, I’ll squeeze your footballs. *gets hired as a ref*
KC’s colors are red and yellow
McDonald’s colors are red and yellow
Andy Reid’s blood type is double cheeseburger
IT ALL FITS!
Andy Reid’s blood type is teriyaki.
All the Mazda’s in the world won’t get you a soul, Ginger.
Eli laughs at Peyton’s quarterbacking stupidity.
The only good decision I made in fantasy was taking McManus on both teams.
But what about Fenster?
He’ll flip ya. Flip ya for real.
That’s the one about the hooker,Mitch uh, dysentery?
Where’d the fucking Edit button go now?!
It hides to the right of the timestamp
Oh yay it’s a tie woo
It’s sad, that ball can’t find anyone that completes it. Maybe it should try internet dating.
52 yard field goal would be a gimme in denver, right?
Pey Pey sez: Jen Sterger is ALMOST the perfect height…
http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2012/0409/20120409__broncos-peyton-manning~p1.jpg
Alternate caption: Hey, Jen Sterger, when I get a chubby it reaches up to here.
You are allowed to make one act or change as NFL Commish for a day. You have complete and utter power.
What do you do?
I would open up all the books and show how much these teams are making.
Am I allowed to kill Dan Snyder, or just force him to sell for $10?
killing is much better, make sure to do it slowly. you have ALL DAY
Pull and Iron Man and drop him on an Indian Reserve
“He’s all yours!”
Move the Jags to LA, tell the rest of those fuckers to stay put, redo revenue sharing to create dedicated revenue streams for former players’ health care and current players’ financial literacy courses, release all remaining evidence of patriots cheating, and excommunicate the McCaskeys
I don’t follow directions well.
“BREAKING NEWS: Interim Commissioner Redshirt has banned Bill Belichick and Tom Brady for life from the NFL for Conduct Detrimental to the League.”
Grant Wichita an expansion franchise; to hell with even numbers!
The Broncos Colquitt get paid $1.6 million to punt the ball and the Chiefs Colquitt get paid $2.9 million to punt the ball.
I think we all picked the wrong career field.
That seemed like a football tackle of reasonable force, therefore, deserving a flag in tonight’s officiating shit show.
Louisville and Clemson are fucking shit, by the way.
Yep, ‘Ville gonna be nice and pissed off in a couple weeks.
Yay
gah
Great, here comes 30 yards of offense and a Donks FG.
Resasonable octane, well rationed offense.
This was a perfectly cromulent expectation.
Tuned in late. Looks like the Broncs might have at least managed an offensive touchdown or two tonight, eh? But c’mon man, it’s the Chefs.
http://gif.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/MANNING-FREAK.gif
As a ratbird fan, I’m still totally not bitter about last week’s loss. 😉
2nd scoring drive started at KC 15 (another Talib INT)
LMFAO
You still got to cheer!
http://i.imgur.com/sPn51gh.gif
Nowhere near Charles. How is that not grounding?
Way out of the pocket
Didn’t get to the line either.
But didn’t get near the LOS either
Still looked well between the tackles.
We demand our Eon of the Safety!