Your Thursday Night Football Open Thread

[peeks out from under the covers] Has it started yet? No? Who said I was scared? I’m not scared. Maybe it’s YOU that’s scared. [sighs]

Wash @ NYG: The Giants should  be 2-0. Let’s get that out of the way right now. Howevah, The Catastrophic Meltdowns really like the vibe that this team is giving off. As far as Washington is concerned, if this Matt Jones kid is the real thing and Morris keeps going they’ve got a running game that may take them to the NFC East title. Not that that will be a great accomplishment this year. Ain’t sour grapes grand? Cousins’ play is up and down and he doesn’t have D-Jax but the Giants don’t have Rogers-Cromartie so that should be a wash. Beason is ready to give it a go tonight-maybe he’ll make it through the whole game. You just never know, maybe the Giants finally get their *Coughlin* shit *Coughlin* together. We could be looking at another snooze-fest but, “It’s Still Real To Me, Damnit!” What can I say, the scotch is poured. (into an Oktoberfest-sized stein)

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nomonkeyfun

The reasons our Ape overlord got so excited.

And the original.
http://www.meredy.com/wrayfay03.jpg

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Sorry man, your top link was busted.

Redshirt

Actually Draw Plays are not bad, except for on 3rd and a Country Mile. If you’re going to run a draw, just go ahead and punt on 3rd down. Why risk getting someone hurt?

Sill Bimmons

Better this than that:

http://i.imgur.com/iX3tPwU.gif

nomonkeyfun

What rich asshole owned that home?

Please tell me it belonged to a Rockefeller or an Astor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Burning of the Cliff House, San Francisco, California, c1907.

Old School Zero

Anybody want to help me start up a “Draft Kinks” website?

I promise you won’t have to swallow any pee.

Most of the time, anyway.

Senor Weaselo

It may exist already.

https://xkcd.com/305/

nomonkeyfun

Fucking Giants. They’ve been running the draw on 1st and 20 for 25 years. Holy fucking shit do I hate this team. (Not nearly as much as the Jets.)

Redshirt

What have I missed in [*Redacted] s-Giants?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

:fart noise:

King Hippo

punt block safety!

Senor Weaselo

They say it’s a football game, but I’m not sure.

IronAvenger6491

I fucking hate Phil Simms

WCS

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King Hippo

I think he may be worse than Collinsworth, even.

JustStopDude

Panic time for the Skins was about two seasons ago Phil…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

When do we get the Eli pick six that puts Washington back in the game? 8 minutes left in the 4th?

OsamaBenJarvus

Probably this series.

Senor Weaselo

We are heading into the 4th…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

UNGA prominently featured while the UN General Assembly is in New York? I call Ban Ki Moon shenanigans!

Sill Bimmons

hell’s bells

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

I’m stuffed full of deep dish pizza and drinking some Apex Predator. #businesstrip

Sill Bimmons

#derp

Old School Zero

Is that euphemism?

Moonbatting Average

You can expense Grindr?

Claymaker

Man, the Sunday day games are a shitshow.

Also, hello everyone!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Hi! Nice to have you here, enjoy the derp with friends.

WCS

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IronAvenger6491

Move bitch, get out the way bitch.

WCS

GET OUT OF MY BRAIN

Recovery Whiskey

Trucked

OsamaBenJarvus

Connor Cook has to be cursing Kirk Cousins for fucking up his draft status.

JustStopDude

The receiver could LITERALLY not be more covered. I LITERALLY have no clue what Cousins was looking at. He is LITERALLY blind. A retarded child could LITERALLY make a better qb.

Anyome else remember that MadTV skit?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I started a “parody” Twitter account where I exclusively ridiculed people who improperly used “literally”. I lasted probably 3 days. Searching Twitter for “literally” kills brain cells.

Moonbatting Average

“I’d like to switch over to Shirts”
-every Skins fan

Sill Bimmons
jjfozz

Robert DeNiro playing a nice old man is like asking Eli Manning to play with grown up toys.

King Hippo

That really does seem like the worst movie ever made. And I took my kids to see the 2nd goddamned Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

A Nancy Myers movie is like a short vacation. Everyone has an easy job, a beautiful kitchen, and rich-folk surface problems.

IronAvenger6491

WOOO! This won’t matter when they shit the bed with 1:12 left….

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Senor Weaselo

I do miss that show.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Me too, but Steven Universe eases the pain.
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WCS

At this point, I’d like to thank Balls for starting Cousins in the crezzy league.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Teehee

jjfozz

Fuck this game
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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Is there a MILF cleavage Tumblr I need to be subscribed to?

OsamaBenJarvus

Thanks to injuries to Murray and Lacy, I had to start Matt Jones this week. Hooray! A loss!

IronAvenger6491

The fact that i know the Giants are going to blow this, is making this game even more boring.

King Hippo

The Giants have no pass rush.

The Giants never have a man within 5 yards of a Deadskin WR.

The Deadskins have 6 points.

Sill Bimmons

If you are a non-professional coach and you don’t give out helmet stickers you are a fucking monster worse than Stalitler.

HELMET STICKERS ARE LIKE MEDALS IN YOUR MINI-WAR AWARD THEM

http://sep11.hugginsandscott.com/pl/37069_marino.jpg

entropy

I recall saying something earlier about how I was done drawing for the night, so I could pay attention to this game. Mistakes were made, and I’m going back to my seasonally-appropriate Freddy Krueger illustration.

jjfozz

I don’t care if she doesn’t have a soul
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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I start Eli and Garcon in a money league. I may as well have set that stack of cash on fire.

Old School Zero

GAMBLOR STRIKES AGAIN!

JustStopDude

I don’t know what it is but the norm mcdonald KFC commercials annoy the fuck out of me.

Remember when he used to do comedy and like not lame shilling for the fifth worst fast food chain for fried chicken?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He got fired because some asshole thought he wasn’t funny. I don’t begrudge him getting paid on the grounds of consumer stupidity.

Senor Weaselo

Popeye’s, Church’s, A&W, Kennedy Fried Chicken, and Crown Fried Chicken (and Pizza)?

Horatio Cornblower

Those ads are horrible. Whoever thought of them and/or approved them should be fired into the Sun.

entropy

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King Hippo

I’m thinkin’ Fozz has a type…

jjfozz

Two things that are more interesting than this game
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Martin

Hell, GRUMBLELORD fucked her …..

Horatio Cornblower

Does not make the bed well. 2/10 would not bang.

Old School Zero

The RGIII-led ‘skins are playing the NY Jets at the same time that Cousins is facing the NY Giants. THIS IS INDEED A DISTURBING UNIVERSE!

http://www.twitch.tv/robotsfightingdinosaurs

Senor Weaselo

Is Eli Velma or Scrappy?

OsamaBenJarvus

I sometimes feel great shame for sitting through these Thursday night games. I should do something more respectable. Like heroine.

WCS

You’re going to do Princess Zelda? Lucky bastard.

OsamaBenJarvus

Fuck me.

OsamaBenJarvus

drop the e, gain enlightenment.

jjfozz

Looks like the Jags got one thing right
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The jag rag?

OsamaBenJarvus

that girl gotta poop.

Horatio Cornblower

Imagine the enthusiasm she’d display if they just paid her minimum wage!

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus I turned this game on for that last Giants’ “drive” and I’m already bored.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can’t wait for Tim Meadows as the next Colonel Sanders

Old School Zero

I’m holding out for Joe Piscopo.

Moonbatting Average

Will his star ever stop rising?

Mother Puncher

I’m waiting for the revelation that Norm is playing himself playing Col. Sanders,

Spanky Datass

Idris Elba!

Sill Bimmons
nomonkeyfun

In honor of our new Patron Saint.

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