Your “Coke Is Poison!” Sunday Night Thread

NE @ Ind: [swallows bile and pride] I have to give the guy credit for saying what everyone knows and what never gets said in major media. There. I feel faint but I think I’m okay. What no one addressed is that Brady added, “Donuts are the Anti-Christ!” so the Pats may want to re-evaluate their concussion protocols. Look, the Pats are rested, this is a “revenge” game and Belichick has had two weeks to prepare. This will not go well for the Colts. Don’t get me wrong-I’ll be cheering for the home team but their D is porous and QB-wise this is a no-brainer. Prove me wrong, Luck.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Like a hack singer, Elvis is theeeere!

Redshirt

Kraft: “Can you make a new rule to credit WR with INTs on tipped passes?”
Goodell: “Screw you!”

blaxabbath

I wish every team would collude to trade Suh to whichever team is playing NE every week.

Just give Tawmy 16 weeks of cheap shots.

entropy

The after-play stomps would be glorious.

WCS

I’m pretty sure that was an episode of Breaking Madden.

Old School Zero

More Insufferable: Edelman or Patriots-era Welker?

King Hippo

yes

Sill Bimmons

I think post-Pats Welkah needs to be considered in any insufferable-off:

comment image

makeitsnowondem

sonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Pick6 by the…. Cooooooolts???????

bourb0nblues
Sill Bimmons

oh fuck yes and woo

King Hippo

womp womp DREAMPICKSIX

The Maestro

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Delightful

entropy

That was fuckin great!

Old School Zero

OH YES YES YES YES YES SO BEAUTIFUL

blaxabbath

Yes! Put that INT on Brady’s stat sheet!

blordinaryfagicmox

Was that a timeout because the ref had to take a dump?

blaxabbath

Like seeing Brady get hit.

entropy

What the fuck was that? The ref got breathed on and needed a time out?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Mary Louise Parker. NSFW.

h ttp://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/192/1922398/28_2009/974dc49b58970bb2_mlp7909.jpg

blordinaryfagicmox

Ive been trying to no avail to find a gif of her in the prison from one of the later, unspoken-about seasons of Weeds.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I love the actress. I only made it through one season of Weeds. And that was back when I was able to smoke every day after working 16 hours a day at 2 jobs.

makeitsnowondem

One of the things Cancer has taught me is that an old friend will come back into my life bearing surprising news.

litre_cola

This Chicago Fire I call it a golazo cuz it also plays in the MLS.

entropy
blaxabbath
litre_cola

Alyssa Milano too?

entropy

She’s actually a Dodgers fan. Still purty:

comment image

litre_cola

I thought because of the Islander fan (David Volek) she may also be a Met fan. She was a childhood wet dream.

Redshirt

I would like to slide into third base with her if you know what I mean.

Redshirt

Speaking for time travel, this Wednesday is Future Day (the date Marty, Doc and Jennifer traveled forward to in Back to the Future Part II). Anyone else looking forward to their flying cars, hoverboards and rehydratable pizza?

entropy

I, for one, cannot wait to see my first mid-air 40 car pileup.

blordinaryfagicmox

We already have flying cars, theyre called airplanes.

Sill Bimmons

They had those in 1955, too.

Wakezilla

Holy shit. DSO’ers, I am about an hour removed from having to explain the difference between stereotyping and generalizations to a couple of highschool teachers. Holy shit that was frustrating.

Sill Bimmons

Do you mean Door Swings Open?

The subject matter is completely different.

Wakezilla

Shit. I haven’t done that in a while. I’ll put a 20 in the Year End Party funds jar.

blaxabbath

All the same to me.

blaxabbath

I’ve not yet seen a Draft Kings commercial today.

What’s going on here?

Brick Meathook

I’ve noticed that too.

WCS

SHHHHHHHH! If you say that too loud, you’ll awake it!

Horatio Cornblower

Since Nevada moved to shut them down they may be trying to keep a lower profile.

I’ve seen plenty of Fan Duel crap though.

Sill Bimmons

Nevada shut down FanDuel too.

All daily fantasy providers are out of Nevada.

John Difool

I know I’m a bad person for saying this but tape a penny to the football and I guarantee you Edelman will never have another drop….. in fact, he’d follow it right over the side of a cliff or a balcony.

litre_cola

DATS RAYCESS. OR BIGOTESSS

Old School Zero

Yes, your hypothesis is confirmed: you are a bad person.

entropy

Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure there are LOTS of reasons you’re a bad person.

litre_cola

Not a lot of Gronk thus far.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

THIS GUY I CALL HIM THE SWAMP FOX BECAUSE BRADY CAN’T FIND HIM!

The Maestro

His coverage to date has been tighter than your average co-ed, though.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Col. Duke LaCross

She is nice to look at.

blaxabbath

Would have been funny if Wilson just sat on the sideline bobbing his head while Cam drove down the field to win that game.

The Maestro

WOOOO KENYON MARTIN WOOOOO

Sill Bimmons

That Nets team was awesome.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Macklemore: for people who want rap, without the Negros

litre_cola

Paula Deen approves

Horatio Cornblower

Paul Deen would like butter with her rap.

Old School Zero

Paula Deen would like to lick a butter wrap

The Maestro

She’d also like butter with her butter.

Redshirt

Hulk Hogan approves, Brother!

Sill Bimmons

Paula Deen is fine with negroes in positions of servitude.

Old School Zero

/sees Bose commercial with Macklemore hyping up Russel Wilson

/vows never to buy Bose products ever again

Lothar of the Hill People

Macklemore and Russel Wilson in the same commercial? Brilliant! A white man pretending to be black, and a black man pretending to be white!

makeitsnowondem

Knock that shit off, Macklemore. You’re getting my grandpa’s clothes wet.

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

damn, no love for jpgs? What is this site, Hellen Keller?

Sill Bimmons

Capital .jpgs don’t seem to want to post most of the time.

WCS
Sill Bimmons

See?

entropy
entropy

Sorry, for some reason a tab with Mary Louise Parker opened up on me. Stupid iPad.

King Hippo

FUCK ME SANTA!

Lothar of the Hill People

THIS GUY LOTHAR OF THE HILL PEOPLE, I CALL HIM CINDERELLA’S COACH, BECAUSE HE’S ABOUT TO TURN INTO A PUMPKIN.

In other words, g’night all. Gotta get up early and photocopy exams for my 8 am class.

Old School Zero

Sleep well!

Col. Duke LaCross

Good luck amigo!

Col. Duke LaCross

Drunk! I’m drunk.

Brick Meathook

GIVE EM HELL

Sill Bimmons

Invest in an aluminum yardstick.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Horatio Cornblower

Cal Ripken is the biege wallpaper of announcers.

Sill Bimmons

Wallpaper paste.

Sill Bimmons

Yup, you get the world’s smoothest lager by letting pencil shavings rot at the bottom of your brewing tuns.

#FuckYourMacro

Dunstan

Why does Budweiser still bother to pretend that anyone drinks their beer because of its “quality” or beechwood aging or any of that shit? At least those commercials that implied microbrews are gay was honest.

King Hippo

I like the idea of Dreamboat coming to Mile High with no left tackle.

Horatio Cornblower

I like the idea of Dreamboat coming to Mile High with no left VENTRICLE.

ftfy

King Hippo

he could LEAVE that way!

Sill Bimmons

No left HEMISPHERE.

That’s the cheatin’ hemisphere!

Horatio Cornblower

“Arrieta was a different pitcher then”

/Arrieta walks Granderson on 4 pitches.

Looks about the same to me!

blaxabbath

“Look at the way TAWMMY drove down the field to score on the last drive! That block in the back on this punt doesn’t even matter! How can you throw that flag?! It doesn’t matter so you shouldn’t call the penalty!”

How I imagine NE fans are watching this game.

(Sorry — I suck at the Bostonian accent)

Redshirt

Alright. So other than Michaels and Collinsworth figuratively giving oral sex to Tom Brady, what else did I miss?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did he finish?

Gratliff

The literal portion.

Old School Zero

Should I try to pay attention to the Cubs and get invested, or should I just not get my hopes up in the first place?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Right now, not looking like a worthwhile emotional investment.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re down 3-0 and it’s really cold out.

Skip it.

Redshirt

Get invested. If you refuse to get your heart broken, you’re not a real fan.

Old School Zero

I was never going to be a real fan, really.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah that’s worked well for us Cub fans the last 107 years.

Redshirt

I’m a Cincinnati Reds fan, Bengals fan, Bearcats fan and Ohio State fan. My hearts been broken so many times its nothing more than a scared up mass that has no feeling other than a mild pain that I should probably have checked out.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Plus the race riots.

Redshirt

That wasn’t sports related. The Cincinnati riots were due to break down in relations between the City & Police and the people.

The Ohio State riots were because we were bored.

Lothar of the Hill People

I gave up on the Cubs in 1986 and have not regretted it a single damned day since.

blaxabbath

My dad used to call us his Cubs. And abandoned us in ’86.

CBS: “We could make that a drama!”

blaxabbath

With the advancements in drugs and technology, is getting a root canal really the *worst* experience anymore?

How about, “I’d rather fall victim to that CTE the NFL has known about all along.”

Horatio Cornblower

Al just wants to avoid having all the embarrassing shit he’d say while coming out from under the anesthesia broadcast all over the internet.

litre_cola

You have no proof for that or global warming. #trump2016

bourb0nblues

I’ll give Al a root canal… with a sledgehammer.

makeitsnowondem

People these days talkin’ ’bout participation trophies like they hope they’ll get the first trophy ever for participating in a talk ’bout particpation trophies, I never did see such a thing

makeitsnowondem

Y’know what I say to them, I say, “Good effort”

blordinaryfagicmox

People, in general, like to talk about how much more difficult things were when they were kids. But when something is made easier for kids (e.g. participation trophies) it’s terrible.

blordinaryfagicmox

I was looking for a picture of that girl from House (MD) because I thought her name was Edelman and that’s funny, but it turns out her name is Edelstein. Then I thought of Mary Louis Parker. http://obxentertainment.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/marylouiseparker.jpg
So the story has a happy ending.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That made me find this gif again

http://data.whicdn.com/images/69293712/large.gif

The Maestro

That is… not a healthy finger, that.