It’s Finally Here-Your Sunday Night Thread

Phi @ Car: This game looks like a keeper, don’t it? I see two solid D’s taking on patchwork O’s that get results. I can’t help thinking this will be a close, hard-fought game that ends with me snoring on my sofa because I had three scotches/beers too many. Carolina has a strong pass D and Philly is without Agholor(?) (pronounced “Oh-Ver-Ray-Ted”) and a banged-up Cooper. The Panthers run game is strong but the Eagles D should be up to the task. However Ginn, Cotchery and Funchess constitute a WRBC (wide receiver by committee) that gets things done. Maybe it’s time to take Cam a bit more seriously-he seems to have reined in his worst instincts and put it all together. Also, he does have an Olsen at TE-a guy who no one seems to have an answer for if he’s targeted enough times.

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Romonobyl

Second Act you guys!

Doktor Zymm

I kind of want another empanada, but if I eat an empanada every time an NFC East team turns the ball over, I will rapidly gain 100 lbs and I’ll be obligated to switch my fandom to Green Bay or Indy.

Romonobyl

I’ve never seen gravy on an empanada.

Doktor Zymm

Chimichurri = Texans fan?

Nah. There are lots of people who like Chimichurri.

montythisseemsstrangetome

“You can become a Chiefs fan.”
– Andy Reid

Doktor Zymm

I do kinda want the Chiefs to win a SB with Andy Reid, just to piss off Eagles fans.

Romonobyl

Sandra Bullock still makes me feel tingly in certain places.

jjfozz

Late night TV interests me about as much as the current state of Hillary Clinton’s uterus.

Which is to say, not much at all. Not even a little bit.

Doktor Zymm

Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. I say, it’s a commercial, I should go top this off.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

And technically, the half that is air is pretty much never going to be exactly half, if you go out to enough sig figs.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Sig figs? Is that cool shorthand speak for hip scienticians?

jjfozz

Here’s your “Peyton is Done” story.

I hope both of these teams tie next week.

I’ll fucking pee my pants.

Old School Zero

It’s gonna be ugly, no matter what.

King Hippo

I’d shit my pants in glee at a tie (as a Donks fan)

Martin

I’m off to get off.

Old School Zero

Make sure you polish that desk afterwards.

King Hippo

good luck getting robbed!

WCS
montythisseemsstrangetome

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING MATT CASSEL WILL PLAY BETTER?

Martin

Desperation

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Because he went 11-5, ONE TIME! With Randy fucking Moss!

Sharkbait

Wet paper bag>Matt Cassell> Doopy Pantz

Doktor Zymm

Optimism is a horrible disease.

Romonobyl

Could he play worse?

King Hippo

Derp challenge? ACCEPTED!

Doktor Zymm

Suck for Luck has turned into Suck with Luck.

Martin

Beats his first season, Suck Off Luck

jjfozz

CHICAGO FIRE
CHICAGO MED
CHICAGO COPS
CHICAGO PIZZA DELIVERY GUYS
CHICAGO SHOOT ‘EM UP GUYS
CHICAGO WINDOW WASHERS
CHICAGO ELEVATOR REPAIRMEN

The list is endless.

montythisseemsstrangetome

CHICAGO MID-LEVEL TAX ACCOUNTING MANAGERS

WCS

CHICAGO WHY DOESN’T OBUMMER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE GANG VIOLENCE LIBTARDS

Beerguyrob

CHICAGO ACORN BLACK PANTHERS

Doktor Zymm

I just read a blog about crime in my neighborhood. They have a gallery of everyone arrested during the Cubs playoff run!

http://www.cwbchicago.com/

Sill Bimmons

CHICAGO OPHTHALMOLOGY: RETINA REATTACHMENT

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am gonna watch Doctor Who at halftime instead of dealing with Dungy and whoever else they allow to do the halftime show. Be back around 7 minutes into the third.

Romonobyl

“Chicago Meth” would be more believable.

Brick Meathook

Martin says today is Agincourt Day. It is also the anniversary of the Charge of the Light Brigade, and the anniversary of the Battle Off Samar during the enormous Battle of Leyte Gulf during World War II. The Battle Off Samar was most likely the U. S. Navy’s most heroic moment ever, you should read about it. TURKEY TROTS TO WATER . . . THE WORLD WONDERS

Martin

I couldn’t remember which code to use to embed youtube videos.

Doktor Zymm

The Cardigan, brought to you courtesy of the Charge of the Light Brigade.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Sharkbait

Boo! Shouldve gone for it

Martin

Between a helmet bounce and a block, Kelly probably assumed the next receiver would just spontaneously combust upon contact with the ball.

Old School Zero

Error Jordan

Beerguyrob

Hell in a Cell has been quite entertaining.

Gratliff

Especially the awful world title match dead center of the card for some fucking reason.

Old School Zero

I haven’t watched wrestling since 1999, but from what I’ve read, the world title means nothing anymore.

Beerguyrob

Yes. It’s a prop for the storytelling. I’m just sticking around for Brock V Undertaker.

Gratliff

I mean, that’s all wrestling titles are, but it’s still stupid how it gets overshadowed on a regular basis these days. Hopefully, Taker can manage to not die 5 minutes into tonight’s match. That’s about as far as my expectations go.

WhyEaglesWhy

Malcolm Jenkins is awesome. He, Fletcher Cox, Bennie Logan, Walter Thurmond, and Ryan Mathews should quit and start their own team.

Doktor Zymm

That was actually a really nice interception. The question now. Does Bradford have enough time in the half to throw his own interception?

Old School Zero

ALMOST

Sill Bimmons

You must be an eBible Fellowship parishioner.

montythisseemsstrangetome

He has time to tear his ACL.

WhyEaglesWhy

If I’m ever in Tibet and wind up encountering a yogi at the top of a mountain, my one question will be, “What is a catch?”

tundrajim

You better hope the yogi isn’t Jeff Fisher.

Martin

It literally cannot be as or more confusing than the NFL rule.

jjfozz

Proud papa here: oldest made travel baseball team (I’ll forgive him, for now), middle made club lacrosse team (god save me from lax parents who think their child is going to Hopkins on a full ride) – and the fucking cowboys lost! Fuck you america’s team!

Also, how in the fucking FUCK are you doin’, boys.

Doktor Zymm

If you want your child to get a full scholarship somewhere, you’re best off teaching them how to play viola. The over-zealous lacrosse parent is a scary thing.

jjfozz

God yes it is – Baltimore is like a breeding ground for those parents. I want to murder them with a weed whacker.

Sill Bimmons

Or piccolo.

My niece is learning both.

Martin

Does JHU teach anything besides pre-med?

jjfozz

Great engineering school, various sciences, actually I have a masters in marketing from that place – NOW YOU MAY BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

Martin

Marketing. Because lawyers didn’t sew enough evil into the fabric of society.

Martin

I don’t think I’d like Cam as much as I do if PK didn’t hate him so much for being black “immature”

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I already kinda liked him, because he’s fun to watch, but the PK hate is the icing on the cake.

Martin

True. He was the one bright spot during SEC games, especially that Iron Bowl.

Gratliff

JENKINS DID A THING

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Didn’t realize my stream was lagging by 2 min until you posted that, then didn’t see the play for fucking forever.

Sill Bimmons

To double down on Martin’s post, here’s a gallery of the fucked-up shit Ed Gein made.

Truly horrible. Do not click through if you don’t want to see a belt made of human nipples:

http://moviepilot.com/posts/2015/05/13/can-you-bear-to-look-at-what-ed-gein-made-out-of-human-skin-and-bone-2929878

Doktor Zymm

I read the Wikipedia entry. That man had the mother of all mother issues.

Old School Zero

This episode of WAS IT CATCH? has been brought to you by MICROSOFT EXCEL: WHEN YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL IF IT WAS A CATCH, CREATE A MACRO!

Martin

And then set the computer on fire because the officials can’t be bothered to look at it.

nomonkeyfun

Retroactive flag.

/ Hail Bleergh.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This game makes me miss my afternoon of painting deck railings

WhyEaglesWhy

That guy was so open the ref had better coverage than Byron Maxwell.

Doktor Zymm

I had a copy of this when I was in high school. I really liked messing with my AP Psych teacher.

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Sill Bimmons

STOP TALKING ABOUT SNAPPING HIPS CRIS FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD JUST STAWWWWP

Martin

/Prays to Bo Jackson to shoot Cris in the face with a longbow.

BTW, Happy Agincourt Day!

tundrajim

Collingsworth really likes Cam’s hips.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Did Cris say “…twerk in his hips…”?

Sill Bimmons

Has anyone seen any of these Hunger Games films?

WhyEaglesWhy

I have. They’re actually good.

Mother Puncher

Yes, but only because I’m a teacher. They’re better than they have any right to be.

Brick Meathook

I worked on the first one. Outside of six or so shots, never saw any of them.

Doktor Zymm

I read the books on a recommendation a few years back. They’re not bad for YA literature, though I am kind of annoyed at them for all the bad teen dystopia books/movies they’ve inspired.

Martin

They’re better than a lot of the crap that’s been released in the last 25 years. I heard the last one sucked, but because all of the action was deferred to this last one.

Martin

Fucking fuck.

I heard the latest one (#3, pt. 1) sucked, but because all of the action was deferred to this final one (#3, pt.2).

Gratliff

Better than you would expect, but I’m also a big fan of dystopian futures, as well as dystopian Donald Sutherlands.

Martin

Whenever I see Ted Ginn’s name my first thought is always to Ed Gein, the serial killer and inspiration for Leatherface.

Brick Meathook

Inspiration for Norman Bates too

Romonobyl

Same here, I’ll feel creepy about it.

Sill Bimmons

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Sharkbait

That’s grade A nightmare fuel.

Gratliff

There’re pictures of Jeffrey Dahmer’s refrigerator contents. They are much, much worse.

Martin

Jesus Fucking Christ, Sill.

Romonobyl

Seeing Murray get stuffed for a loss warms my soul.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, I found a video that summarizes both the Jets game and this Eagles game!
https://youtu.be/J7yKg57tPVU

Martin

Seems accurate

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gentlemen and lady or ladies, I just got to my hotel in Boulder after the most hungover flight I’ve ever had. I need Miles Austin to score three touchdowns and the Panthers to still win by a big margin. Make it happen.

Brick Meathook

Go to bar and buy some pot!

Doktor Zymm

My most hungover flight, when I came home a week later I found the empty liter of blueberry vodka still on my countertop, with vague memories of drinking that shit like water with the guy I was with, because “This shit is tasty!”

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

It’s gonna be awesome when a televised singing completion make REAL singers do the judging.

Brick Meathook
WCS

“I smoke four packs a day, and my breath is as clean as my lungs!”

Romonobyl

A habit I could never handle. I’ve tried dating smokers but could never get around it. I’m in no position to preach behavior, but yuck.

Mother Puncher
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Cam Newton: Everything Josh McDaniels saw in Tim Tebow.

King Hippo

Christ that made me nervous. But WOO!

Old School Zero

comment image

We need to photoshop this.

Old School Zero

Or, not.

Old School Zero

Let’s try this:

comment image?w=700&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=302866633a5a6bd66079d99247a5e8ec

Old School Zero

nope.

Spanky Datass

I (drunkley) tried to sus your pic. This is all I got?
http://scalr-9465-us-east-1.s3.amazonaws.com/images/PHOTO_18270024.jpg

Brick Meathook
WhyEaglesWhy

Jerry Richardson was great in “Up”.

Old School Zero

The NFL is proud to announce their latest enhancement to the Play 60 campaign, which is Work 960.

There will be no pizza.

Mother Puncher

Jerry Richardson is melting.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I liked the zero effort Ginn made to try to make it to the end zone