Your Sunday Night NFC East Nail-Biter Open Thread

Phi @ Dal: Philly is trying to catch the Giants and Dallas is trying to catch the Slurs and folks at NFL head office are trying to forget that this is a prime time marquee game. Cassel is trying to prove that the Pats, Chiefs, Vikes and Bills were all wrong about him. At 33 I think he’s just about to come into his own. So many others have done the same thing at the same age. Remember that guy? And what about that dude that played for that team back in the [mumbles]? So I say “go for it, fella that’ll be out of the league next year!”

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Gratliff

I hope they short circuit that dumb fucking screen

Romonobyl

How can God pee on his team?

Sharkbait

God is R Kelly?

Romonobyl

What’s next, the i-Monocle?

Romonobyl

So the few of you fantasy folks who started Beasly…please enjoy.

Sharkbait

All 7 of them just high fived.

Horatio Cornblower

Got him in Sill’s league! 19.2 points.

Still losing by 30.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Okay Google: How you reduce the illiteracy epidemic among young people?”

Sill Bimmons

Vampires in everything.

Brick Meathook

MOAR ZOMBIES

Covalent Blonde

I am guessing the average <20-somethng has a better chance of fending off zombies for weeks than passing a 10-question exam on grammar and punctuation

John Difool

By switching off Google.

jjfozz

The Julian Edelman Movie – fuck you Al. Just fuck you with a cactus.

Romonobyl

Gawd he’s a moron.

John Difool

COLSLAW BEASTLEY

Romonobyl

You gritty, gorgeous bastard you!!!!!

entropy

My drinking is falling off precipitously. I need more music, obviously. What’ve ye got?

blordinaryfagicmox
Doktor Zymm

I can tell you what I’ve woken up with stuck in my head, what are your feelings on Cocksparrer?

entropy

Never heard of ’em. I like pretty much all music, save for Adult Contemporary Top 40 Country I Lost My Dog Truck & Wife shit.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, honey. There is a world of early punk you would be the better for hearing.

entropy

Darlin, I know me some punk, and a fair amount of it. Geography plays a part.

entropy

Wait. You think 90s punk is *early* punk?!

Doktor Zymm

Absolutely not. 70’s is early. I wasn’t around, but I know my music, and I’ve seen what bands are still around. And Cocksparrer is not 90s.

entropy

East End Girl was EXACTLY my kind of thing. MORE MORE MORE.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you like shoegaze, look up Cosmonauts. I used one of their songs for the Vampire post; I’ve been enjoying them lately.

Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook

The full eleven minute version of “Time Has Come Today” by The Chambers Brothers:
https://youtu.be/uHfB63ln1Ig

entropy

Playing this now. Interesting beginning.

Doktor Zymm
entropy

The last one was sentimental? Jesus. We need to actually speak, you’re my kind of people.

Doktor Zymm

The most sentimental Cocksparrer song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0bugPvKjwU
EVEN TOUGH GUYS NEED SOMEONE SOMETIMES

entropy

Aaaaand now I will spend a portion of tonight obtaining Cocksparrer’s discography, provided the stairs aren’t too difficult later.

blordinaryfagicmox
entropy

I’ve SEEN Silversun, live at Terminal 5, in NYC. Great show, although it was also the night I met Katie Nolan, who is 5x lovelier in person.

King Hippo

Another fitting punishment for the team that loses the Toilet Bowl (between the two worst teams in the league) would be to be named the Corpsefuckers the following season.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We emphatically refuse to share our name with the Jacksonville Jaguars.”

– Corpsefuckers Local 104

Col. Duke LaCross

We call ours “The ‘SHOT’TENHEIMER” and make the loser do consecutive shots of NightTrain, Thunderbird, Cisco, Boones, and MD 20/20.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We call that the Tomsula Special.

Doktor Zymm

I have no memories of Witten ever being injured. He’s just super lucky/durable?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or else you’re Trent Green.

King Hippo

Me too! Have we met?

Bugg

Trent Green twice today while calling the Jets/Jags insisted 2 plays would be overturned on review despite neither having anything close to clear conclusive proof the original call was wrong. And in the 2nd one he argued with Mike Carey to the point of rudeness. Carey was much nicer and polite than he needed to be.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Especially considering that Trent is not known to hold a grudge.

Romonobyl

He had a spleen issue some time ago…still finished the game.

jjfozz

CHRISTIANS: “Starbucks hates us because they took the word Christmas off of their cups! I am outraged and persecuted! I am going to spend time protesting this horrible event!”

GOD: “I’m giving every one of those pricks explosive diarrhea on Christmas morning. Bunch of dicks.”

Horatio Cornblower

It’s almost like Christmas isn’t one specific day according to their religion.

Doktor Zymm

Me : Doooonnnnn’tttt care. Also…isn’t Thanksgiving supposed to happen first?

WCS

The word “Christmas” never was on their cups to begin with. I love how they always say liberals get angry at everything.

Sill Bimmons

#WarOnChristmas #Winning

King Hippo

Like I said before, the Facebook Fundies need a new generation of for reals lions to see what “persecution” is all about.

Or to be black for a few months.

Gratliff

Ticky tack fucking penalties this game

Romonobyl

The whole season has been a flag-fest.

entropy

No no, we had a whole post on it and everything.

Doktor Zymm

Why option?

John Difool

Holy shit, are you a wizard?

blordinaryfagicmox

Y-knot?

WCS

Camel toe or dookie? YOU DECIDE

Horatio Cornblower

Nice balls.

Romonobyl

If that’s a tuck, that dude has an amazing ass.

Sill Bimmons

Now THAT’S a vulva!

King Hippo

Cris just drew a weiner on the teevee

John Difool

Seeing Romo really makes me want to eat a crownie and I fucking hate sweets.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a shame that Beasly plays for the Cowboys and isn’t a great talent. Because BEASTLY!

entropy

I don’t care for many commercials, because they are lazy and weak, but that one with someone speaking for Lynch and he just says, “Speech mode, boss” at the end is perfect.

That said, if Beasly becomes a bigger talent, he and Lynch NEED to remake that commercial, exactly the same way, with one surly look at the end difference.

Romonobyl

After this game, I think I’ll try that crack stuff all the kids are talking about these days.

WCS

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Sharkbait

Insurmountable lead right?

Gratliff

Derp Moon Rising

Doktor Zymm

I’ve had this hope for many a week, but Cowboys/Buccs. If Hardy and Winston somehow manage to career-end each other……

entropy

And, in a freakish turn of events, one of their exploded corpses manages to go right through Brady….

Doktor Zymm

Shrapnel!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hmm, I kind of like the sound of…oh. Sorry, I thought you were talking about something else.”

– Aaron Rodgers

Brick Meathook

GENERAL CUSTER MUST BE COACH BECAUSE COWBOYS ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES

King Hippo

GET HYPE for putting it all on CasselVANIA’s manly shoulders!

Sill Bimmons

They do get some fancy uniforms.

Gratliff

So do the NFL marketing people just masturbate furiously every time a player gets injured?

King Hippo

NBC gives you a close-up ass shot as consolation, Cowboys fans.

Horatio Cornblower

Jerry Rice in a Cowboys jersey is worse than Judas Iscariot kissing you in front of a bunch of Roman soldiers.

entropy

Judas always got a raw deal, in my opinion. Without him, there is no “Christ died for your sins” nonsense. He was NECESSARY, and yet he’s villified.

Sill Bimmons

The reason Jesus chose Judas was because the rest of the disciples were a bunch of sniveling cowards that couldn’t be trusted.

Brick Meathook

JUDAS WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT PAID

Horatio Cornblower

Sean Lee may be the heart and soul of the Dallas defense but there is no way he is it’s short term memory.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ha! So true … I’m sorry, what were you just talking about Horatio?

– Jim McMahon

Horatio Cornblower

Beets. I was talking about beets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ryan Matthews learned the hard way that it’s best to set the ball down gently after a touchdown. Spike it and you’re risking a sprained wrist or broken fibula.

Doktor Zymm

I spent a terrifying couple of minutes reading Cowboys fans justify Hardy, but you can take my condemnation as rote. I’m just gonna be like, WHT?! Td EAGLES?! And Hitchens?! Damn, karma is all fucked up.

Brick Meathook

Statistically this was to be expected.

Romonobyl

A piece of shit is a piece of shit.

When does Jerry World go into Wqr Mode?

King Hippo

OK Commentists, one of you needs to go play LB now.

entropy

God DAMN it… Fine. I’ll do it this week, but one of you other pricks is up next week.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You can’t go play LB for the Cowboys til you finish your beer.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh thank God I just cracked a fresh one!

entropy

Two left!

WCS

YOU GET AN INJURY! AND YOU GET AN INJURY! AND YOU GET AN INJURY!

Romonobyl

Sorry folks, but these calls against Dallas have been pretty weak, and I normally never go that route.

Gratliff

I’ll accept that if you accept that the taunting call was total bullshit

Romonobyl

Can’t deny that. Believe me, I NEVER go anti-official unless it’s a Patriots game.

John Difool
jjfozz

When they say a dback or safety was “caught peeking”, does that mean they were looking in the backfield at the QB, and that split second got them burned?

Sill Bimmons

The RB.

jjfozz

Thanks, I honestly had no idea what that meant.

Gratliff

Sean Lee is the Heart, Soul, AND effort, apparently.

King Hippo

BLEERGH giveth and BLEERGH taketh away

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH moves in mysterious ways.

Gratliff

CAN WE PLEASE CATCH A FUCKING BALL!?

Brick Meathook

GREEN LIGHTS DON’T DO SHIT FOR ME. MY DICK ISN’T GOING TO SUCK ITSELF. GOD BLESS

Sill Bimmons

RED LIGHTS WORK BETTER FOR THAT SORT OF THING IIRC

Romonobyl

Well, Lee is concussed…
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Sill Bimmons

“Where are you?”

“Tuesday!”

“Get back in there!”

King Hippo

Sean Lee really shouldn;t keep playing footbaw, should he?

Sill Bimmons

Every generation needs a Trent Green to call their own…

Horatio Cornblower

Sean Lee needs to be banned from playing football for his own good.

Gratliff

Sean Lee injured, so Dallas gives up 300 more yards from this point.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh I think they’re quite capable of giving up more than that.

John Difool

THIS SEAN LEE, I CALL HIM JASON LEE ‘CAUSE HE ALWAYS MANAGES TO GET OFFED HALFWAY INTO THE HOW

Brick Meathook

MATT CASSELL: THE FINEST BACKUP QB IN USC HISTORY

tundrajim

For a second, I was terrified that Al would say the heart and soul of the Cowboys defense was Hardy.

blordinaryfagicmox

Hardy is the heart of rock and roll, because he’s still beating,

Sill Bimmons

Kia Mom is the worst mom.

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