Your Monday Night Inter-Conference Battle Between Two 2 Win Teams Open Thread

It’s not very often that a Canuck politician gets some positive media spittle beyond the 49th parallel but it happened last week when Prime Rib Minister-Elect Trudeau, when asked why his cabinet was evenly split between genders responded with, “Because it’s 2015”. Asked for comment, Tiffany Rivers responded with, “HUUUUUNNNGGGGAAAAAA-I’M PUSHING AS HARD AS I CAN!”

Chi @ SD: Let’s be honest, this is about fantasy points and hanging out on-line with guys/gals that make us giggle. By the way, Clare joins Gunner, Sarah, Rebecca, Grace, Halle, Caroline and Peter in their combined attempts at wrecking a certain woman’s birth canal.

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entropy

Floyd’s left shoulder is half a yard further down his body than his right. Rivers has immediately ordered a prayer circle to heal him.

Doktor Zymm

They need to switch up the beverage selection in the Chargers practice facility :
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/3/3c/Malk.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130325185940

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hope he doesn’t want to carry any of those four kids.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When his teammate made that Lawrence Taylor-style waving for the trainer, I thought we were about to see a compound fracture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

I can’t even…. people who were shitty o-lineman in high school are saying you can’t blame the o-line.

ajklenmklasddfsdsdfjklkl

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Marmalard has angered the Lord. A vengeful God is the only explanation for all these nonMRSA injuries.

makeitsnowondem

I don’t know about this. Usually the Lord is MRSAful.

JustStopDude

“WELL DANA…THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT BOLTMAN IS A CHANGED BOLTMAN AND IS DEDICATED TO MAKING AMENDS TO THE VICTIMS AND THEIR SURVIVORS!”

http://pthumbnails.5min.com/10358539/517926923_3_embedStandard.jpg

entropy

For some reason, the funniest part of this to me is that is paid for by a local garage.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One that evidently also supplies tires to the Cleveland Browns.

entropy

No, Tirico, he is not shaken up. He looks like he broke his fucking arm.

Sill Bimmons

WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE

jjfozz

Hey kid, you want a balloon?

entropy

Two weeks in a row Gruden’s tried to blame someone ELSE for ruining a football game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

/raises hand

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

No, but if someone has a spare T-34 I could think of some pretty good uses

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I still don’t understand how Melvin Gordon isn’t a rabbi.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He just doesn’t have the scalpel skills.”

– Tim Tebow

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You’re thinking of Melvin Goldman

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Cutler blinks at you really slowly it either means he’s concussed or that he really likes and trusts you.

Brick Meathook

or he wants you to look at his asshole

JustStopDude

Not trying to be a smart ass…but how does one determine if Culter is concussed?

I mean…how would you tell?

Col. Duke LaCross

There’s a certain cold deadness in the eyes.

Oh wait…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He ignores the fake mouse on a string.

Sill Bimmons

Administer the Care Bears Protocol.

If Sunshine Bear doesn’t make him smile it’s straight to the CT scan.

jjfozz

Cutler’s eyes look the same regular and concussed

Sill Bimmons

Marmalard cares as much as Catler doesn’t.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

It makes me miss their feud when Cutlerfucker was with the Broncos.

Old School Zero

BOLTMAN IS PLEASED! YOUR NIGHTMARES SHALL BE LESSENED! /instigates the wave

King Hippo

Soooo….Wrigley and Soldier Field. Is every place of public accommodation a “charming” shithole?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

That’s how mediocre shit exist for so long: just call it charming or endearing. Just ask Hanna-Barbera productions.

Brocky

O-line caused a fumble? better run to facebook and blame cutler

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Six years and running…

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Or Buffalo…last week…

...

That is a large clock.

nomonkeyfun

They borrowed it from Flava-flav.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was told it’s not the size that matters, but how you use it.

John Difool

This is Spinal Cat

makeitsnowondem

Excuse me? Former Jet? When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way.

jjfozz

cutler got hit so hard he dropped his Zippo

entropy

He coughed up his incipient lung cancer.

John Difool

Pretty sure Matt Slauson was the Bear that ate Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend.

John Difool
MR F

Glad to be here. rececently found you guys and gals. another refugee from that other site

Sill Bimmons

I wish I knew Jay Cutler in real life.

Hanging out with that guy has to be the best thing ever.

WCS

“Hey, Jay, can I bang your wife?”
“Whatever.”

...

I can just imagine him complaining about his bitch wife all the time.

King Hippo

as long as you immune system is a’ight

entropy

No one needed reminding he is a former Jet, Tirico.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tirico thinks the Bears’ offense is like scotchnaut’s chili. It’s thick, cobbled together from spare parts, been sitting out for too long, and will send you running for the shitter soon enough.

Col. Duke LaCross

Nice sinkhole in the field.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm, the Bears seem to be embracing a strategy of falling down for no particular reason. Let’s see if it pays off.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

That’s just the Grade A quality NFL field.

nomonkeyfun

i thought they got rid of Chris Conte?

He’s the one that got burnt more than Kelso on 70’s show, right?

John Difool

Chili is indeed like bourbon and cheese, gets better with age.

jjfozz

So yesterday I was asked to be a pallbearer this Wednesday. It’s also my birthday.

Which begs the question, how much bourbon can you drink at 9 in the morning that will make you happy, but keep you from dropping a casket?

John Difool

Research Frank Sinatra or Hunter S. Thompson, got to be in there somewhere.

entropy

I mentioned something yesterday about drinking and fine motor control…. basically, drink as much as you can until you start to feel your hold on the glass slipping.

jjfozz

I gave up on last night’s livebrog, but saw your drawings today.

Slaps Entropy on the ass HARD.

seriously, good stuff

entropy

Why is Gruden praising Woodhead’s “ability to run many, many different patterns?” It’s kinda common, isn’t it? I swear he must have been the most consistently amazed coach in the NFL.

“Holy SHIT did you just see that wide receiver run a post pattern? There are probably three, maybe four thousand guys who can do that!”

Sill Bimmons

Gruden’s amazement threshold is shockingly low.

entropy

He’s even shocked by how easily he is shocked.

Sill Bimmons

WOW! A BLUE CAR!

nomonkeyfun

I am shocked, shocked to find football being played on a Monday night.

Brick Meathook

THIS DORITO IS AMAZING

entropy

HAVE YOU SEEN MY HAIRCUT?! FIFTEEN BUCKS, PLACE CALLED SUPERCUTS. SHOULD BE CALLED SUPERCHEAP!

...

THESE OPPOSABLE THUMBS THEY’RE SO GREAT.

Sill Bimmons

THIS FRONTAL LOBE I HEAR PEOPLE USE IT FOR SOMETHING

Brick Meathook

YOUR GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS A SAVAGE. TEN DOLLARS PLEASE.

WCS

What is “Things Dan Snyder yells in his sleep?”

I’ll take World Capitals for $1400, Alex.

Sill Bimmons

HOW DID YOU KNOW

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Acho Acho man
That touchdown was scored
By Acho’s man

JustStopDude
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Pure electricity…. in his pants.

...

Ladies LOVE electric shocks on their G-spot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s why he was originally called LL ESGspot

JustStopDude
hippofant

“He read the blitz perfectly…”

Replay shows 4 linemen rushing.

Senor Weaselo

GRITDOWN

Doktor Zymm

The Boltman costume is empty isn’t it. It’s powered by the ghosts of ACLs.

blackroseMD1

That would explain a lot…

...

It certainly contains no souls.

Sill Bimmons

smgdmfh

ThursdaySkyGoddess

SCRAPPYDOWN!

jjfozz

RIVERS WINS! EVERBODY GETS A ROSARY!

King Hippo

We really oughtta try selling those bolo tie roasries from the RiveBrog. Great idea

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Conte’s assignment?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Phillip Rivers to Stevie Johnson makes Jesus embarrassed by how much he gets invoked for that catch.

Sill Bimmons

Fuck’s sake Bears.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A wide receiver covering up the tight end? So THAT’S how you stop them!”

– Ken Norton, Jr.

King Hippo

there are very few cats that I don;t like more than almost any people. yet I don;t know where to place Catler on the spectrum

makeitsnowondem

god damn you espn streaming app

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like ESPN “steaming” app, amirite?