NE @ Hou: The Gronk is listed as Questionable. The player most statistically invested in him playing is not Gronk, it’s Br*dy. Mike Sando has pointed out that since 2010 when Gronk entered the league, Brady is 182/42 with respect to TD/Int’s when the former is on the field. When Gronk is not on the field that ratio falls to 42/19. And so it goes-Brady’s passer rating falls from 104 to 86.8. His QBR falls from 72 down to 59.5. Brady’s TD rate with Gronk on the field? 6.7%. Off the field? 3.5. Stats-wise, that porno star-boinking tight end is more valuable to the O than anyone else. “That’s all well and good”, says JJ Watt, “but has he ever squealed with delight when meeting Jennifer Aniston?”.
Nrg stadium, despite it’s location, ridiculous name, and complete lack of a sports team looks like a pretty decent building.
Merry Christmas Cris:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/8876b13c2cbef768ba8922d77bd9dba5/tumblr_nkamaxihby1tf777ho1_500.jpg
New England is soooooo going to get a pick-six here.
What about a safety?
BUT IT DOESN’T STOP AL SO THAT’S A USELESS COMPARISON
http://img.pandawhale.com/46352-high-jump-fail-gif-UmJr.gif
More bourbon?
More bourbon.
Is there such a thing as less bourbon?
Les Bourbon is Johnny Manziel’s more temperate alter ego.
I once used acupuncture on my concussion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI677jYfKz0
Can’t wait to see the bidding war between the Browns, Steelers, and Ravens for TJ Yates’s services, and also the Bengals just to keep him from beating them twice a year.
This game:
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1968572!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/crematorium10n-2-web.jpg
Clowney still hasn’t dehelmeted, decleated, or decapitated yet, so BUST.
At least they’re beating the shit out of TAAAAAAAAWWWWWMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
http://49.media.tumblr.com/83892cf45fd20cc1265edacb1fb76417/tumblr_nxmiroJnxp1qg39ewo1_500.gif
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NDFjOWC_xsA/TrjV__nFfbI/AAAAAAAABvk/Zf_3JV8m2Lg/s1600/epic-fail-gifs-car-fill-up-fail.gif
So who is the backup?
TJ Yates.
That’s just bound to fall apart.
Yates?
Yates.
Brady seems like enough of an asshole that he’d slide cleats up on the off-chance he could catch a defender in with a nutshot.
THIS GAME I CALL IT SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE BECAUSE IT’S UNSTUCK IN TIME AND A CITY IS BEING FIREBOMBED
O’Brien just sent Hoyer to Room 101.
I have moved past the game, random thing to talk about, One if my smoking buddies says his bro got hit on by Sean Meher. I never knew he was gay til then. Also if his husband sees this, nothing happened, just flirting
WHAT THE FUCK IS AN O’BRIEN TEAPOT?
Closely related to a Cleveland Steamer…
Dome.
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/legacy.images/smosh-pit/092010/jackass-fireworks.gif
The medical staff is attempting to give Hoyer a concussion to get him off the field.
Need to take pages from the Georgia Bulldogs staff:
Since when is Boston-Pittsburgh a rivalry?
Sill?
Actually for a while.
Goes back to the 90s Stanley Cup Playoffs when Ulf Samuelson took out Cam Neely’s knee.
It goes in and out of style but the 2014 playoff debacling has brought it back up to the fore.
Also the Bruins are usually just a bunch of assholes so It’s easy to hate them.
Whenever I want to piss off my Bruins fan friends I casually remind them Ulf Samuelson is an assistant in New York.
Since the 1996 AFC Divisional Round.
So Jaguras have a viable shot to win this division.
TEAM OF DETSINY
Stop trying to make the Wildcat happen. It’s not going to happen.
The Houston offense: ungood.
Doubleplus.
Oh goddammit.
I wish I could like this twice. A doubleplus, if you will.
Almost that time:
http://38.media.tumblr.com/bd6fe2a09f21e76dca969559f3eba8c8/tumblr_nxqrndKbfK1ukldkho1_400.gif
There’s still TEN MINUTES LEFT in this thing.
Maybe the Texans can score a tou–sorry, I can’t finish that sentence.
I come back from making and eating dinner to… to… god dammit Houston. You had one fucking job.
http://images.wildammo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wrestling-fail.gif
Fuck this, local news time. let me know if something miraculous happens.
I feel like I need eyebleach just for that 30-second Ted 2 Blu-Ray ad.
And the AFC South’s brief dalliance with being meh is over, now to resume being dogshit awful.
OK, 5 am is too soon. On the plus side, the final’s already written, so all I have to do is make copies. I don’t think I’m even gonna shave in the morning.
G’night.
Maybe I’ll dream of Brady getting Theismanned.
Lothar…makin’ copies…
http://www.graphicdesignhero.com/wp-content/uploads/makin_copies.jpg
What the fuck are we going to do if it’s Seahawks-Patriots again?
Root for ISIS?
Root for Super Bowl MVP Marshawn Lynch, boss.
The Patriots “always get the matchups they want.” Well, how about this matchup? Me vs. my bed. It may take until morning to decide a winner, but Imma be all OVER that.
“Imma matchup this bowl.”
– Josh Gordon
Bed never loses.
Volkswagon: We’re totally cool with you kidnapping our sales force.
You’ll put up with it to make a sale.
Not to mention the creative programming of our car’s computers.
Off topic. The Mrs. brought home some almond cookies from the Greek festival downtown. Holy shit these are awesome! (Like anyone gives a shit about the game anymore).
By the way, my 2 yr old has watched Monsters,Inc. about 100 times.
He keeps yelling Sully! and I keep having to put him outside on the porch.
You could deal with much worse than Sully my friend.
TOUCHDOWN
HAIL SATAN
Brian Hoyer: Nobody’s Favorite Either
http://blog.chron.com/sportsupdate/files/2011/10/20111030_TexansJaguars_kaw_25.jpg
If you refer to New York as Gotham, and I am around you, I will throw nuclear waste on your crotch.
Welp, Greggggggggggggggg just wrote “game over” on his cock as he slowly stroked it with the grittiest of hand lotions.
http://www.alyssaandcarla.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/DIY-Exfoliating-Oatmeal-Body-Scrub-from-alyssaandcarla.com-3.jpg
Well…I WAS looking forward to this game.
So right tackle, you briefly thought about holding Sheard, and then decided not to.
THAT WAS ACTUALLY WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE HELD HIM.
Brian Hoyer: Not good.
Jebus. Hoyer blows goats.
Holy piss on a stick.
$300 for a fucking game console?
A dissenting opinion…
http://treasure.diylol.com/uploads/post/image/525451/resized_picard-wtf-meme-generator-for-the-last-fucking-time-put-some-pants-on-d6ff9e.jpg
YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!
THAT IS A TERRIBLE OPINION Also already complying
No, that’s why we live alone. Or on second thought is is the reason we live alone.
Noap.
I’ve driven through downtown Houston…numerous times. I’ve never been in such fear for my life before.