Your “We Are All Fans Of Watt Taking Out Brady” Sunday Night Open Thread

NE @ Hou: The Gronk is listed as Questionable. The player most statistically invested in him playing is not Gronk, it’s Br*dy. Mike Sando has pointed out that since 2010 when Gronk entered the league, Brady is 182/42 with respect to TD/Int’s when the former is on the field. When Gronk is not on the field that ratio falls to 42/19. And so it goes-Brady’s passer rating falls from 104 to 86.8. His QBR falls from 72 down to 59.5. Brady’s TD rate with Gronk on the field? 6.7%. Off the field? 3.5. Stats-wise, that porno star-boinking tight end is more valuable to the O than anyone else. “That’s all well and good”, says JJ Watt, “but has he ever squealed with delight when meeting Jennifer Aniston?”.

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Shogun Marcus

Nrg stadium, despite it’s location, ridiculous name, and complete lack of a sports team looks like a pretty decent building.

WCS

New England is soooooo going to get a pick-six here.

Senor Weaselo

What about a safety?

Sill Bimmons

BUT IT DOESN’T STOP AL SO THAT’S A USELESS COMPARISON

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

More bourbon?

More bourbon.

Romonobyl

Is there such a thing as less bourbon?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Les Bourbon is Johnny Manziel’s more temperate alter ego.

laserguru

I once used acupuncture on my concussion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI677jYfKz0

makeitsnowondem

Can’t wait to see the bidding war between the Browns, Steelers, and Ravens for TJ Yates’s services, and also the Bengals just to keep him from beating them twice a year.

Senor Weaselo

Clowney still hasn’t dehelmeted, decleated, or decapitated yet, so BUST.

Sill Bimmons

At least they’re beating the shit out of TAAAAAAAAWWWWWMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sill Bimmons

So who is the backup?

Sharkbait

TJ Yates.

Sill Bimmons

That’s just bound to fall apart.

Shogun Marcus

Yates?

Sharkbait

Yates.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brady seems like enough of an asshole that he’d slide cleats up on the off-chance he could catch a defender in with a nutshot.

Moonbatting Average

THIS GAME I CALL IT SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE BECAUSE IT’S UNSTUCK IN TIME AND A CITY IS BEING FIREBOMBED

Croooow

O’Brien just sent Hoyer to Room 101.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have moved past the game, random thing to talk about, One if my smoking buddies says his bro got hit on by Sean Meher. I never knew he was gay til then. Also if his husband sees this, nothing happened, just flirting

Sharkbait

WHAT THE FUCK IS AN O’BRIEN TEAPOT?

Romonobyl

Closely related to a Cleveland Steamer…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dome.

Horatio Cornblower

The medical staff is attempting to give Hoyer a concussion to get him off the field.

Romonobyl

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WCS

Need to take pages from the Georgia Bulldogs staff:
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Sharkbait

Since when is Boston-Pittsburgh a rivalry?

Sill?

Sill Bimmons

Actually for a while.

Goes back to the 90s Stanley Cup Playoffs when Ulf Samuelson took out Cam Neely’s knee.

It goes in and out of style but the 2014 playoff debacling has brought it back up to the fore.

Also the Bruins are usually just a bunch of assholes so It’s easy to hate them.

Sharkbait

Whenever I want to piss off my Bruins fan friends I casually remind them Ulf Samuelson is an assistant in New York.

WCS

Since the 1996 AFC Divisional Round.

So Jaguras have a viable shot to win this division.

Senor Weaselo

TEAM OF DETSINY

Sharkbait

Stop trying to make the Wildcat happen. It’s not going to happen.

WCS

The Houston offense: ungood.

Sill Bimmons

Doubleplus.

Senor Weaselo

Oh goddammit.

Senor Weaselo

I wish I could like this twice. A doubleplus, if you will.

Sill Bimmons

There’s still TEN MINUTES LEFT in this thing.

Senor Weaselo

Maybe the Texans can score a tou–sorry, I can’t finish that sentence.

ThePirateSloth

I come back from making and eating dinner to… to… god dammit Houston. You had one fucking job.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

Fuck this, local news time. let me know if something miraculous happens.

Sill Bimmons

I feel like I need eyebleach just for that 30-second Ted 2 Blu-Ray ad.

And the AFC South’s brief dalliance with being meh is over, now to resume being dogshit awful.

Lothar of the Hill People

OK, 5 am is too soon. On the plus side, the final’s already written, so all I have to do is make copies. I don’t think I’m even gonna shave in the morning.

G’night.

Maybe I’ll dream of Brady getting Theismanned.

Sill Bimmons
Moonbatting Average

What the fuck are we going to do if it’s Seahawks-Patriots again?

nomonkeyfun

Root for ISIS?

Senor Weaselo

Root for Super Bowl MVP Marshawn Lynch, boss.

Sill Bimmons

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Doktor Zymm

The Patriots “always get the matchups they want.” Well, how about this matchup? Me vs. my bed. It may take until morning to decide a winner, but Imma be all OVER that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Imma matchup this bowl.”

– Josh Gordon

Romonobyl

Bed never loses.

Horatio Cornblower

Volkswagon: We’re totally cool with you kidnapping our sales force.

Sill Bimmons

You’ll put up with it to make a sale.

Romonobyl

Not to mention the creative programming of our car’s computers.

Romonobyl

Off topic. The Mrs. brought home some almond cookies from the Greek festival downtown. Holy shit these are awesome! (Like anyone gives a shit about the game anymore).

jjfozz

By the way, my 2 yr old has watched Monsters,Inc. about 100 times.

He keeps yelling Sully! and I keep having to put him outside on the porch.

Romonobyl

You could deal with much worse than Sully my friend.

The Maestro

TOUCHDOWN

HAIL SATAN

Sill Bimmons
jjfozz

If you refer to New York as Gotham, and I am around you, I will throw nuclear waste on your crotch.

Lothar of the Hill People

Welp, Greggggggggggggggg just wrote “game over” on his cock as he slowly stroked it with the grittiest of hand lotions.

Romonobyl

Well…I WAS looking forward to this game.

hippofant

So right tackle, you briefly thought about holding Sheard, and then decided not to.

THAT WAS ACTUALLY WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE HELD HIM.

Horatio Cornblower

Brian Hoyer: Not good.

Lothar of the Hill People

Jebus. Hoyer blows goats.

WCS

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WCS

Holy piss on a stick.

Romonobyl

$300 for a fucking game console?

Sharkbait

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

THAT IS A TERRIBLE OPINION Also already complying

nomonkeyfun

No, that’s why we live alone. Or on second thought is is the reason we live alone.

Shogun Marcus

Noap.

Romonobyl

I’ve driven through downtown Houston…numerous times. I’ve never been in such fear for my life before.