![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
NYG @ Min: According to one Giants fan site, D coordinator Steve Spagwhatever is still stewing about the loss to the Panthers. Buddy, you’ve got so much more to worry about than yet another defensive collapse. I just can’t see how he’ll be around next year. Sure he was dealt a bad hand (hah!) but there is next to no intensity on his unit (phrasing!) and the “powers” that be need a sacrificial lamb. It looks like Minny has a number of D guys ready to go today so I expect a whooping. The Vikes D was a dominating piece of work before injuries became an issue. I’m thinking a heavy dose of RB Peterson should make everything all good for Minny. That said, the Giants have a lousy habit of winning games they’re not supposed to. Did I make this game seem watchable? I’ll hang up and listen off air.
Your Week 16 Sunday Nighter Open Thread
Based on this graph Cris, would you say Adrian Peterson likes to switch up his favorite gaps?
Man some colleges are ruthless with their tuition.
I’ll take shitty Newark parking and 32 credits for under 19k/year, thank you much.
Honestly it’s making more and more sense to go to a community college for 1-2 years and get your required and/or intro classes out of the way.
That’s what I did up North in Canadia. It’s cheaper. But those fuckers in College are trying to get that sweet, precious money and as a result, many are trying and succeeding in becoming Universities.
I did it a weird way, I got my associates’ in business but am getting my B.S. in actuarial science. So I’m a junior but still had to take freshman classes.
However, I got to register for all of them before anyone so I got all the best entry level math and science professors.
Kevin hart = black Don Knots
/singsong voice “Gonna blow their minds this year”
Peyton chugs a “protein” shake, turns into The Hulk and crashes through the wall of his house.
“HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!”
Scene from xmas even dinner:
My mom in law (super catholic, believes fox news is real): “It’s warm because of global warming, and that’s because of the Democrats.”
Me: “Ohhhhhh. Ummmm. Ohhhhh. God you gotta be fucking insane.”
My wife (under her breath): “Please, just shut your mouth.”
Next year I’m coming to your house.
God, please. I can pass you off as a Christian veteran who was swindled out of his house by Obama, and who knows that Donald Trump should be president and Hillary is the anti-Christ, as prophesied by the Bible.
Why on earth are the elephants so hell bent against Hillary. She’s almost as insane as Trump, just with better PR.
Because Hillary will win against almost anyone currently running as a Republican and they know it.
While all this OBJ talk is going on, I’m just preying that Josh Norman doesn’t become Cortland Finnagan 2.0
Well, they are teammates now.
Anyone else really enjoy her in Jessica Jones? Her and evil David Tennant made that show so good.
Yup. I thought she was great.
Moral judgement Al Michaels reminds me why I don’t enjoy dinner with the inlaws.
Al and Cris talking about what every other person has already talked about. Fuck you two dicks.
And as for the baseball bat, fuck you. you’re a grown ass man playing a vilent sport, grow a fucking pair.
I prefer to play violet sports.
I play soylent sports!
Viola sports are slightly oversized for me.
And WTF is an alto clef?
SOYLENT SPORTS ARE PEOPLE!!!! THEY’RE PEOPLE!!!!!
What’s this about fucking two dicks?
-Aaron Rodgers, probably
Or Fred Smoot
Seriously.
Also, didn’t a team have a player that used to run out with an axe a year or so ago?
I’d like to see more “Snide Contempt” Al Michaels.
Goddamnit. I took the week before xmas off, rather than the week after. This means I have to go back to work tomorrow. Goddamit.
Sunday night is never a good time to remember that.
Likewise… at least I work evenings and have enough time to coffee-out the hangover.
At least you don’t work at my company that based vacation time on the company’s fiscal year. That means everyone taking time off this week has it count in their 2016 allotment.
That sucks ICRM.
It didn’t bother me at all since I never take time between Chistmas and New Year’s. There’s never anything to do so I can’t just stream shit at work and get paid.
Everyone else thought… ha.
Tom Kaufman fondly remembering the extra rations of applesauce given out at the nursing home on Christmas Day
Sorry, but I have issues with Navy Federal comparing tripping an IED to an ice cream stain in your Tahoe.
fuckin’ kids, they’re just like terrorists, amirite?
Microagression! Microagression!
and people wonder why I don;t support the troops ,, smh
I have issues with that asshole being dumb enough to let his kid eat ice cream in the back of a new car to begin with. What the fuck did you think was going to happen genius?
They announce the flex game at halftime right? That gives us something to stay awake/drink for.
Odds it’s Vikings-Packers
Boo! Rooting hard for Jets/Bills.
If it’s not Packers-Vikings, I’d be shocked.
What’s the purpose of the poof ball on a poof ball hat?
So they can call it a poof ball hat…duh!
Watching the G-Men attempt pass defense is never not funny. Even against Teddy.
Steelers fans right now (and probably me next weekend when the Bills stomp the piss out of the Jets):
I was so well behaved today – no trash talking to steelers fan, was welcoming to them, didn’t say shit after WE FUCKING BEAT THEM TWICE IN A SEASON!
My buddy was livid after that game. He was nearly murderous with rage. I think he would have kicked seven shades of shit out of Tomlin had he been nearby.
Teddown!
Red nose down!
RUN RUN RUDOLPH
Cooking break. Hope the game is excellent, as well as the broadcast.
Going to start also drinking now because, you know, we’re a team. Like the Texans.
Matt Kalil owned count: 107
My oldest knows how ot pour me a bourbon-rocks. Is that a bad thing?
Enjoy the free labor while you can.
Early job training is never a bad thing.
Two ingredients, ice and bourbon….really, you should ask for a manhattan.
I could never get into the whole Manhattan thing. Like Star Trek, Howard Stern, or Doctor Who – doesn’t click with me.
Fair enough, at least give your kid tasting notes.
Yeah, until he knows when to stir and when to shake, he’s a goddamn hack.
Have him name all the amaro varieties he can, and see if he can make a passable homemade orange bitters.
How old are they? As long as they aren’t spilling the good stuff, I see no harm.
JPP could make a fortune with the right endorsements:
http://mealsandmovesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/image28.png
I took out the Xmas tree to the curb tonight, because the cleaning lady comes tomorrow, and I’ll be fucked if I live with these goddamned needles all over my living space more than 12 hours.
Status of Scrooge’s back? NOT GREAT, BOB.
Odd move for a fake Christmas tree, but whatever.
THIS JJ FOZZ, I CALL HIM A HAPPY MOTHERFUCKER CAUSE THE RAVENS SUCK BUT THEY SWEPT THE STEELERS.
Also I am half in the bag. Merry Xmas and other greetings to you fuckers.
That’s good.
Ricky Gervais is hosting an awards show? I thought he was blackballed from doing that.
Worst possible STD?
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg7vi52hBI1qzlpr4o1_500.jpg
So I’m at Starbucks tonight, (shut up, I like their hot chocolate), and I’m talking to a family friend about our kids and where they want to go to college and how soon, because they went to college, we won’t be able to afford coffee, hot chocolate or much of anything beyond hot water and noodles.
The barista says “Oh he wants to go to school in Maine, I went to Bates!”, which probably ran her $200,000-$225,000 for 4 years. Then she asked me if I wanted whipped cream with my hot chocolate.
If my kid gets a liberal arts degree he is fucked.
WRONG
He just needs a hard science degree alongside it!
Also, volunteering and interning doesn’t either.
So… did you get the whipped cream or not?
No, I’m watching my weight.
/drinks third beer since dinner
I quit watching after Friday’s turkey and two Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ales. The self-loathing is just too much ,, smgdh
Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ is fantastic.
A liberal arts degree is not the cause of this: a lack of any idea of what to do with it is.
Honestly, any degree can get you a job post-grad if you have an idea of what you want to do. Look at the Dalmatian-coat-enthusiast Carly Fiorina. She was a CEO. Her degree? Philosophy.
I graduated from an in-state, public university. My three kids can all damned well do the same. Shit, when the twins (currently freshmen in high school) enter university, I will probably need to sell the house just to afford THAT.
Our in-state, flagship university is my beloved alma mater, UCONN. Over the next four years tuition will rise 30%, to $14,000+ a year, and that does not cover room and board, which probably adds another $8,000-$10,000. If you’re an out-of-state student tuition at UCONN is now in excess of $30,000! It is insane. Admittedly I went there 25 years ago but the total tuition, room and board that my parents paid for me, (bless their hearts and wallet), would maybe cover three semesters at the current costs.
I am currently researching ways to fake my death and collect insurance benefits.
More like $265,000 nowadays.
That’s a shit ton of money to live in Maine.
Oh, and I was floored when I read an article about NYU that casually dropped that a single year cost $62,000. I could have paid for my entire undergrad and most of my grad degree with that amount and that was not that long ago.
Yeah the link right above you is pretty shocking; I thought all these whiners were just exaggerating about tuition costs. Maybe it’s all part of the textbook cartel’s plan to make the cost of books less, in percent, of one’s college costs by increasing everything else.
Most schools aren’t *that* insane. Still, $100K is a good estimate for a four-year degree nowadays.
Ultimately, I happy I went the cheap route even if it would have been better for my long-term development as a human being to pick a different school.
Eh, I got a degree from NYU. It’s a degree in Math and Physics and I have another 10 years of education on top of that, but all my fellow graduates who majored in dumb stuff did ok…mostly.
I should also mention, I had a partial merit scholarship and graduated without debt. With room and board, it ended up in the $120k range I think. Also, I only took 4 years.
That does include text books and living expenses.
Whiskey level: under a quarter of the bottle. Gonna slow down now, because I am enjoying this drunk.
The new Vikings stadium is very pointy.
I actually would watch the shit out of hurling, if that became a thing with organized matches that were televised in the US. I won’t even post pictures of hot met engaging in hurling, cause I’m that serious about how awesome it would be see lots of hurling.
“cause I’m that serious about how awesome it would be see lots of hurling.”
Just come to the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Party and you’ll see plenty of that.
Fucking amateurs.
*innocent voice* Doesn’t the NYPD confiscate the sticks?
http://www.bgeu21.ie/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/793275.jpg
They have the sticks already, ready to give wooden shampoos at a moment’s notice.
I went to the hurling game, (contest? match?), at Fenway and it is an insane sport. Also it does not translate well to a live viewing, at least in a baseball stadium.
It’s another sport with shittons of injuries, just without the NFL broadcasting contracts. It would benefit from highlights and instant replay.
Defensive backs always knock it away AT THE LAST SECOND. It’s because they are LITERALLY COVERING THE RECEIVER.”
Mike Wallace: “wide receiver”
Honest question, which broadcaster(s) do you think absolutely hate their partner.
Tirico hates Gruden the very most, dead certain of that.
Jim Nantz.
Oh, you mean their BROADCASTING partner.
Still Jim Nantz.
I believe Buck hates Aikman, and that Tirico lives in fear of Gruden.
It cracks me up how consistently we all watch these games and make fun of the commercials more than the game.
http://i.imgur.com/ckQEp4y.gif
What have I missed? Nothing I see.
This panda’s sadness makes me very sad.
classic sad hentai panda
I don’t know why the cake-holding girl in the GE commercial is so high and mighty about; according to the DiSH TV commercials she’s going to wind up working in a call center singing “This Is How We Do It” to dorky dads.
Good lord, the Samsung Galaxy commercials’ music keep getting worse and worse!
Again, this GE guy needs to kill his friends.
They are societal dead weight.
He should kill them with the hammer his father gave him.
BUT HE CAN’T LIFT IT
The guy is useful to society in the long run, but he looked at that hammer like it was a dead fucking snake. He’s got his own goddamn issues.
Probably the same way AP’s kid looks at tree branches…and for the same reason.
“You didn’t serve, did you? You see, a boy’s got that look…when he’s been shot through the chest or had his legs blown off by a mine…he’s got that look. That look like…that he doesn’t even know he’s dead yet. That his brain hasn’t caught up with the situation.”
“You got that look, Ed.”
/with apologies to Fargo
I see way too many young kids with the thousand yard stare.
“You’re a shit cop, you know that don’t you?
Line of the season.
http://kotaku.com/boy-opens-christmas-playstation-4-finds-a-block-of-woo-1749852904
Now here’s a headline: Boy Opens Christmas PlayStation 4, Finds A Block Of Wood With A Dick On It
You can work on it all you want, but I find it best to just go all out on the oral if you struggle with quick release.
Hey I’m Prince Amukamara and I’ll show up shortly after you catch the ball.
But he’s having sex now!
Oh….wait…that’s what you meant?
The greatest Nigerian Prince scam since e-mail
I didn’t know Michael Jackson’s kid was even in the draft!
I love me some football, but maybe I should watch more rugby.
Let’s be honest, football is just a bastardized version of rugby
Technically they’re both offshoots of a common game and have derived different variations from what was originally a common set of rules. You can’t know one and watch the other nowadays, but it’s easier than cricket.
Cricket is a very simple game.
I’m going to write a post explaining it in the offseason.
Australian Fleshlights are odd
Chicago Fire if it was on Cinemax:
http://36.media.tumblr.com/303231976b574ef4083911cbfb21ac7c/tumblr_nteksvafAE1rkskbao1_500.jpg
See, I might watch that. I wouldn’t actually, but I might pretend like I was going to after seeing some promotional photos….
I support hookers.
I’d rather just do heroin with her, I kicks it old school like that
“She’s got a habit to kick… and I DON’T CAAAAAAAAAARE”
Ok, the Geico squirrel commercial is pretty tolerable.
I want this guy to be the next Giants head coach:
I work for a marketing firm. This sounds pretty good.
Warren Ellis. Man can write some fucked up, funny shit.
I think he already coaches the Dolphins.
So am I alone in liking the Android finger puppet commercial?
Feels like yes.
Does anyone else notice how Al has a tendency to unnecessarily elongate his vowels?
I missed it in between the booth shots of his lower teeth.
A yuuge amount of liquor?
No, and I’m not going to, so it’s not going to bother me every time I hear him forever!
He does, but I like to think it’s a defense mechanism to keep Cris’ piehole shut
Al: “That brings up fourth dooooooooooooooooo-”
Cris: “Yes, and-”
Al: “Not done yet. -ooooooooooooooooown.”
And from what I remember during a drunken romp at Buddy’s circa ’93, elongate his bowels, too.
I understand that NBC wanted to set an edgy new comedy about burly gay men dealing with life, laughs and love in Chicago but then those pricks in legal told them they couldn’t call it “Chicago Bears” so they just dropped it.
North Side Twinks
Chitown tinkerbells
“Homo Alone” didn’t fly either.
Chicago Pride. It should come in after Chicago PD.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.