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NYG @ Min: According to one Giants fan site, D coordinator Steve Spagwhatever is still stewing about the loss to the Panthers. Buddy, you’ve got so much more to worry about than yet another defensive collapse. I just can’t see how he’ll be around next year. Sure he was dealt a bad hand (hah!) but there is next to no intensity on his unit (phrasing!) and the “powers” that be need a sacrificial lamb. It looks like Minny has a number of D guys ready to go today so I expect a whooping. The Vikes D was a dominating piece of work before injuries became an issue. I’m thinking a heavy dose of RB Peterson should make everything all good for Minny. That said, the Giants have a lousy habit of winning games they’re not supposed to. Did I make this game seem watchable? I’ll hang up and listen off air.
Your Week 16 Sunday Nighter Open Thread
Did Dan Patrick just casually toss out next week’s game will be Packers-Vikings and keep going as if no one cared?
Tony Dungy just called Arizona “sneaky good” like they’re making any effort to hide how completely terrifying they are.
He was actually reviewing Raising Arizona
They’re one of those overlooked 13-win, top 5 offense and defense teams that don’t get enough credit.
“Their record and stats might show them to be very good team, but since they’re Arizona, they’re actually probably terrible.”
The twist in the next Star Wars movie will be that Tony Dungy plays the new emperor.
THIS TONY DUNGY I CALL HIM ELF ON THE SHELF, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE HE SITS, HE STILL FREAKS ME OUT
CHIEF: jlo you’re a loose cannon, i’m having you reassigned to traffic.
JLO: but chief
[the next day]
DISPATCHER: jlo can you respond to this one, i think it’s your kind of call
JLO: sure what is it
DISPATCHER: someone got rear-ended
So, last night we gathered at the Fozz compound for Xmas gifts, and my middle child had an absolute SHITASTIC MELTDOWN that destroyed the entire night.
Over what?
A $25 iTunes gift certificate.
Fuck kids at Christmas.
Why did your middle child meltdown over $25 itunes?
/does not have kids
Cause his older brother got one for $30 and it was more than his.
Well shit. The kid’s justified.
My six year old nephew said to people walking the door Christmas morning “if you don’t have a present for me, you can’t come in.” He’s so adorable when I’m slapping the life clean out of his little body.
How old is middle kid?
8 – and horrific tempers run in the family, which is no excuse
Bah, just have him buy the two Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats albums and all will be good.
“Fuck kids at Christmas”
How is the new Gary Glitter holiday album?
Holy shit, that’s good.
Another Oscar snub…… damn elitists.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/2987634b9dda6602cec271a967dfe3bf/tumblr_n540xmecDR1sdkeh4o1_1280.jpg
“The film with the warning bell?”
Looks like Jerry Jones’ bus every Sunday
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AyVzQS4WPr4/T476jkEPiFI/AAAAAAAAFOU/Wsq_lL8uWU8/s320/krysten-ritter-4.jpg
Where is the happiness? Tell me!@
So, I take it you watched all of Breaking Bad?
Butt?
Even Al Michaels and Collinsworth think Ayers’ bullshit sack dance is in fact complete bullshit. You’re down 13 points and sucked ass all season, moron; dance away fucktard.
No silly, that’s his suck dance.
+1 to the Matt kalil owned count
He can twerk it.
When I was a small child I though it was really cool to have a blue wine glass that I somehow made my parents buy and I drank water out of it. Now I have the same glass, and I love it just as much, but it’s gin I’m drinking.
I’m impressed. As a child I was accident prone and would have been bound to have shattered glass into my face. That is just as likely now as it was then since I have never quite learned to be graceful. Needless to say… I am best in plastic and/or with straws.
I also now have a vodka set, which, as a child I thought looked like test tubes. I would take shots of milk and feign choking and turning into an animal. I haven’t yet actually used it for vodka.
My dream is to one day own something like this; if only I had something which could be exchanged for goods and services.
Shit, lke THIS:
http://www.homewetbar.com/images/prod/bar-globe-open.jpg
Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Of course! Now I can solve my peanut problem!
Next up: More head steam!
Are we not doing phrasing any more?
My favorite glass was an oversized 26 oz snifter that my g/f gave me. I broke it trying to wash it because I’m a clumsy, bumbling oaf. My new favorite glass is a big Weihenstephaner glass, but I’m afraid to drink out of it for the above mentioned oafishness.
Never be afraid on those grounds. If you don’t use it because you’re afraid of not having it that’s a null logic. Not using it is the same as not having it, unless just having it is the joy.
I know, but I’m weird with stuff like that. I’ll buy a 4 pack of one of my favorite beers and I’ll end up with one of them in the fridge for the next six months.
I agree, it’s a logic that takes some getting used to. I’m only now using some shit I bought ages ago, but it really does feel better.
My favorite glass was an oversized 26 oz snifter that my g/f gave me. I broke it trying to wash it because I’m a clumsy, bumbling oaf. My new favorite glass is a big Weihenstephaner glass, but I’m afraid to drink out of it for the above mentioned oafishness.
As a huge fan of Telltale’s episodic games, Minecraft Story Mode is dogshit.
You see Eli Manning as your franchise QB. Why in the holy hell would you not invest in some o-linemen that can pass block?
The Giants are employing the David Carr-era Texans strategy of beating the shit out of their quarterback to “toughen him up.”
Aha, see, they invest in people who can pass catch because chicks dig the long ball!
(Honestly, I don’t know.)
Personal Foul: Keeping Eli up past his bed time, no allowance for a week.
Also will be assessed a fine of five pudding cups later in the week.
“And how many sacks of Manning would you like to order?”
That sounds cannibal-y……
Have I really never noticed that Tony looks like Nosferatu?
Or an unflatteringly-aged Bat Boy.
Tony is on a hunger strike until gay marriage is illegal again.
Except for the occasional feasting on the blood of a heathen.
Holy shit it’s not even halftime?! I swear to Christ I thought this game was nearly over.
I was just thinking this to myself. I was thinking the 3rd was about to end.
Question:
If Jennings is their only effective offensive weapon at the moment, what the fuck is this Andre Williams nonsense?
And now at Macy’s, White People!
I am trying to write teh morning column on a vicuprofen, a muscle relaxer (THANKS, asshole Xmas tree, for being such a heavy bastard), and a Crispin. Prepare to be baffled and underwhelmed.
Oh, kitten, you make that sound different from every other thing you sent us.
*I would like to imagine you perpetually do indoor timber work on the daily
if you just leave the tree up a month and don’t properly water it it’ll probably weigh no more than 10 lbs.
Also it may burn itself, (and your house), to the ground.
/glances at severely upside-down mortgage statement
Please, tell me more.
I’m underwhelmed by your drinking cider when there’s so much delicious beer in the world.
Oh, you’re in bourble now.
You have never disappointed, and I for one look forward to angry, unmotivated, highly drugged up Hippo Thoughts. Hell, if you want I’ll do a highly biased Dermatoids addendum! But yeah, be bitter and hung over, we love it all.
My son: “Were those two guys in the Amazon commercial gay?”
Me: “Yup, and what’s wrong with that?”
My son: “Nothing at all.”
I call that a win.
You should also mention, if you plan ahead, you can get better dinnerware for less.
That was Seth Myers and his brother.
But I can see the mistake because that was one of the gayest commercials I’ve ever seen, and I’ve vacationed in Key West.
I can vouch for seeing bizarre shit in Key West.
Oh. Well, it seemed gay. And he thought they were gay. And I thought they were gay.
So, even though they are not gay, I”m calling it a win.
/no homo
With Peyton out of commission, Eli is moving to corner the market on Manningface!
/was doing dishes during the pick-6
There is a place in Ohio called Luckey Ohio? Why do they not move the Browns there?
With their recent history of disgrace and bringing shame to people, they’d be better off in Sandusky.
+1 rhythmic slapping
It’s near Waldo!
Hey Eli can pull off the goofy idiot look well, what a country!
Ms. Claus appeared to have an amazing rack for a moment there
Fuck you Walsh.
Upright gods deliver fierce justice…
I really thought the Giants would at least cover. Thank whatever I didn’t put actual money on it.
Archie has the record, but, if the Hawks play their cards right and don’t change up their O-Line, Charmslinger will be on that list in like 2 years.
LOL Eli.
Someone’s not getting a Yoohoo later…
The person who just played Yoo Hoo going into the commercial break was thinking the same thing
What if someone in the NBC production truck is one of us?
Oh yes Old Pulteney 10 year, I would like a dram! How did you know!
*Bought it cause it was the cheapest single malt at the store, now is my favorite scotch!
A thousand sacs would be Aaron Rodger’s dream New Year’s Eve party.
Scrotum Diem = bag the day
Wait is it 13 degrees there Al?
JENNIFER LOPEZ IS IN HER PRIME IN THE SAME WAY THAT I AM IN MY PRIME IN THAT I DO NOT KNOW HOW THE FUCK THAT IS POSSIBLE
I think they mean that her current age is only divisible by itself and one.
“Neck and Neck” harsh words Al
WHY DO THEY NOT MENTION THE DENOMINATOR DAMMIT
LEAST COMMON
“Harris gets pushed away…”
– play by play of late night events in Katherine Harris’ household, November 7, 2000.
I’m sure there’s a better way to phrase this, but man this martini has a kick.
Gentlemen.
Sir.
Congratulations on stomping the unholy crap out of me for the OSZ FF title.
Wolverine.
Everything about that KIA ad pleases me.
So it’s cold or there’s a lot of vaping going on.
WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH ASIATA
I read that as “SANTA”.
You’ve fallen into one of the classic blunders, the most well-known is never get involved ina land war in Asiata.
My wife just talked me into having a second martini, and then she [redacted]. I am a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky man.
Killed a ninja?
Fuckin ninjas, always trying to take away a man’s martini.
You don’t have to redact here…we wont tell.
Oh, there’s a winter storm warning, but it’s actually a lake flooding warning cause it’s above freezing. I am not deterred in….going to work I guess? That’s what I use Lakeshore Drive for.
There was construction on the Dan Ryan when I left there in 1983. Are they done yet?
Dunno if it’s the same construction. I’m gonna go with….yes?
Trust me, if you want to find some terrible construction somewhere in the Chicago area, you can.
Seriously, we rotate through ripping up entire expressways every 3-4 years.
That is inaccurate.
The Steelers offered Wallace a contract before they offered one to Antonio Brown.
Damn. I don’t want to open another bottle of wine, I drank the beers, I guess my only option is more liquor.
Someone told me earlier today “if you haven’t graduated to whisky yet, now would be an excellent time.”
Sadly, I only have nice Scotch and clear liquors. I have moved on to gin though.
Liquid Christmas!
I already dipped in to my Lagavulin tonight.
Peyton sings:
Got to hide these need-le traaaacks…
Al-Jazeera’s fucking wackkkkk
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