Your Very Last Monday Nighter Open Thread

Cin @ Den: What to make of Denver? They’re the first team in a few years to not score any points at all in the second half of three straight games. They’ve lost their last two, they’ve beaten San Diego (like everyone else), they beat the P*ts in OT (did NE win the toss in that one?), and they lost 17-15 to the Bears. A devout Broncs fan “says” (meaning he mumbles through tears), It’s not a slow fade, honest!  Let’s math it up for a bit, shall we? If the Broncs win tonight the chances of a first-round bye rise to 72%, yet if they lose the odds of them missing the playoffs altogether increase to 23%. Isn’t football fandom fun in a severe chest-pain kind of way? But there is some good news… HERE COMES CINCY! [camera pans to a lone figure limping over the horizon, backlit by a setting sun] That illustration is, like, way metaphorical, right? QB Dalton and TE Ifart are out so the Bengals won’t be looking like a 3-loss team. My prediction is that each squad has the exact same game plan-pack the box and make the QB win it with his arm/smarts. This means the game is determined by which team has the better secondary/pass rush. Denver? Denver.

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JustStopDude
ballsofsteelandfury

Germany?

Redshirt

I’m getting too old for this shit.

King Hippo

Where was that 5:04 ago, motherfucker?

Sill Bimmons

miss it dickhead

Senor Weaselo

You think Pacman ain’t gon have good coverage? Oh, he gon cover dat rezeever.

makeitsnowondem

Good night sweet Snake Dick.

Sill Bimmons

Perfect fucking hit.

King Hippo

I agree, it was good and fair

litre_cola

Even the MRs. said that was textbook.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ouch. That looked kinda painful.

WCS

Snake Dicked

makeitsnowondem

Thomas deserves 60 points for that catch.

King Hippo

he gets more undeserved shit from Donks fans…I can;t even

makeitsnowondem

I hate that shit so much. We’re the worst fans in football.

makeitsnowondem

Like, no one remembers that Rod Smith dropped every important pass thrown his way for basically the back half of the ’97 season.

King Hippo

at least bottom 5. I HATE the Broncos internet

Sill Bimmons

So what are the Stillers implications from this WCS?

King Hippo

don;t worry about it, you KNOW the Jets will Jets the Bills game

WCS

If Donks win, Stillers have to beat the Factory, Rex has to have revenge on the Jest.

Sill Bimmons

And if they lose?

WCS

Status quo.

If Donks lose out, and the Stillers beat the Factory, it doesn’t matter what the Jest does. KC would win the AFC West, and the Stillers would get in over Donks via tiebreaker.

ballsofsteelandfury

Then we get in if Denver loses next week too. As long as we win, of course.

WCS

The Bungles third-down strategy is interesting.

Senor Weaselo

Oh, nice.

ballsofsteelandfury

That is mesmerizing.

makeitsnowondem

I just watched this whole thing and my butthole will never unpucker.

King Hippo

Never. Throw. To. Bubba. Caldwell.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

#29 took about as good of an angle on that run as a dog chasing a car.

King Hippo

For WBS – I haven;t yelled at the teevee box this much since the Quentin Coples late hit on Charmslinger when he was still a simple RW at NC State…

theeWeeBabySeamus

You had me at teevee box.

ballsofsteelandfury

ALL HAIL BLEERGH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BEERGH HAS AWOKEN FROM HIS SLUMBER.

Sill Bimmons

That guy is a raging asshole.

WCS

I’m beginning to think Vontez Burfect might have some emotional issues…

King Hippo

FACK YOU BURFICT

makeitsnowondem

SNAKE DAMN DICK

King Hippo

SNAKE DICK, PART TRES!!!!!

WCS

I know there’s a lot happening right now, but sweet mother of mercy:
https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/681685309235564548

litre_cola

That is some entertaining shit right there.

makeitsnowondem

Jesus Harold Christ

King Hippo

I lived through the 1980s. Surely I can keep my head out of the oven tonight?

Old School Zero

Peyton’s gonna ship you some Hugs… Good Hugs.

The Maestro

THIS GAME I CALL IT THE BOLSHEVIK REVOLUTION BECAUSE SWINGING WAY TO THE LEFT WAS AN UTTERLY DEVASTATING EVENT TO WATCH

theeWeeBabySeamus

God help me, I never again want to hear Tirico use the phrase “your hips overrotate”.

ballsofsteelandfury

– Lisa Salters

JustStopDude
Senor Weaselo

Hooray, Arena League!

makeitsnowondem

never care about football

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Preach

Old School Zero

This should be the site motto.

litre_cola

Well put.

JustStopDude

Hey! That’s my philosophy for kids as well…

litre_cola

Thursdays have been brutal, Sundays meh, but Mondays have been quite entertaining this year,

ballsofsteelandfury

A TIE?!?

Easy, Tirico, you’ve still got that boner over the missed kick. You’re not thinking straight.

makeitsnowondem

So I’m just gonna

[downs beer, pours beer]

pour another beer I guess

[downs beer, pours beer]

okay, I’m ready for overtime

theeWeeBabySeamus
JustStopDude
WCS

Hippo rn
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King Hippo

sooooooo jelly

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

THAT’S SO BENGA…wait, what?

hippofant

Can a brother get some Manningface up in here?

Te he, tehe.

-Boss Todd at the Buffalo Wild Wings control station.

King Hippo

and I was CERTAIN he was gonna make it. I am NEVER optimistic.

JustStopDude

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The Maestro

I think he’s gonna fuck this up.

The Maestro

OH FUCK YESSSSSS

Sill Bimmons

oh wow hahaha

litre_cola

Oh my, what a shank.

ballsofsteelandfury

Tirico really enjoying calling that.

King Hippo

oh you motherfucking piece of goddamned shit

Moonbatting Average

FUCK

theeWeeBabySeamus

McManus apparently stopped by the “dispensary” at halftime.
Yikes.

Don T

Ehat. The. Fuck.

Jesus fucking Christ

Old School Zero

McManus always was a dumb motherfucker.

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bourb0nblues