Your Friday Night Open Thread

Are you smelling it? No, not the Hippo fart, It’s something even more intoxicating! The playoffs are so close. I’m genuinely hyped for this. On top of the football action Jim Boeheim comes back from his 9 game suspension just in time to get absolutely frickin’ crushed by [spits on ground] U*NC. By the by, QB Dalton has been ruled out for tomorrow’s game against the Steelers. Pittsburgh in a blowout? Pittsburgh in a blowout.

D-Jax said recently that Chip’s firing was “karma”. I say that dropping the ball before you cross the goal line is “unfathomable idiocy”. OLD MAN ALERT: QB Newton blarfed his son as “Chosen”. This was in lieu of naming him Cam junior. Let this honorific be etched across the backs of stolen PC’s the world over!

Kevin Greene, he of 160 career sacks (3rd all time) is listed as a finalist for the NFL Hall of Fame. I say, LET THE MAN IN! The dude is third behind Bruce Smith and Reggie White and was an entertaining MF to boot. Nugget-wise, I must mention that DE Watt is at 74.5 sacks at the age of 26. Barring a serious injury you have to think he’ll end up very close to the top. Colin Cowherd or some other contrarian dumbass would point out that “he doesn’t have even one intercept yet!”. This was a criticism of the original LT back in the day. The response being, “you want the best pass-rusher of his generation to drop back into coverage?”. SMGDH. Credit where it is due-the guy imposes his will on the opposition.

On the court there be not a single compelling game that I can see although Tor, Cle, SA, Mia, G.S., and OKC are playing. The NHL has Bos, Chi and StL skating about the place. Grown Boy’s College Basketball has the likes of Valpo, Yale, Kent State and Utah stinking up the court. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll get through it somehow. TO THE COMMENTS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

So the Basketball Giants aren’t getting blown out by the Basketball, um… possibly Raiders? Basketball Talons? I don’t know.

Doktor Zymm

So…..since I’m only watching this now….Always Sunny totally stole the Thin Mint thing, right?

Doktor Zymm

So, since I’ve stopped TVing, I’m a season behind on everything, and am now binge watching season 10 of Always Sunny. This shit is awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

I am still not convince that Fred Phelps was not a brilliant comedian, on par with Andy Kaufman, intentionally improving the social acceptance of gays in American society.

You get a couple of Klans members to drive past a Marine’s funeral with a couple of young kids standing outside with “GOD HATES FAGS” signs…and it forces them to examine their fucking views.

“Billy Ray…I don’t think I wanna be part of this”

JustStopDude

The last time the fucking Simpsons were interesting…

https://youtu.be/m78gYyTrG7Y

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh yeah…sobriety update for those keeping check…so I’ve been smoking…so that is broken…and I am drinking…so yeah…but still no opiates. So 1 out of 3 can’t be THAT bad. I mean its been…oh dear god…only 8 FUCKING DAYS?!?!?

JustStopDude
Doktor Zymm

Moderation is the key. It’s the thing that’s left out of the “addiction is a disease” conversation. It is possible to learn moderation, but it’s harder than abstaining, hence why abstention is the model. Anyway, the idea is, find some combination of things that doesn’t make you feel totally fucked. Smoking, sure it’s bad for you, but not as bad as going all out with all sorts of opiates and shit. Find a happy balance, or, more likely, find a temporary balance and try to find healthier stuff you like better. Best of luck in all.

blordinaryfagicmox

A probably obscure alison brie role from the pictures below. Watch with the sound off maybe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m09g29Lb1uk

Senor Weaselo

Can the non-Alison Brie bits get cut out?

Shogun Marcus

Being honest, I really dislike Kiss and many of their fans.
That said, the VW ad centering on “Beth” gives me a chuckle. Too bad the joke seemingly goes over a lot of people’s heads.

JustStopDude
Spanky Datass

Apparently a Cincy radio station has issued a “Severe Big Ben Warning”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHEKsj8tmR4
Some sports talk radio outfits mix in the humor and sundry dick-jokery, others are just bitchy homer bitchiness turned up too eleven.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Careful driving; the roads may be rapey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He was OK in certain situations, but to me got a LOT more air time than he deserved. Also he gets laid by hot women way more than he should…. so we think anyway.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/17fab9effb8592130961f1e1682ab223/tumblr_nw57wdeNTJ1qfr6udo1_r1_500.gif

King Hippo

Even I should have sex more often than that hack, fuckface piece of shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*That* is the *anger* we wanted to *see.*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He *was* funny but I never really *liked* him, if that makes sense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

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ballsofsteelandfury

So gorgeous

King Hippo

soooooo jelly, shoulder bag strap

WhyEaglesWhy

Greetings gentlemen! For anyone unaware or just lazy, I’m running a playoff fantasy pool on nfl.com. It’s super easy, no draft or anything, just pick your players and go. Here’s the link: http://playoffchallenge.fantasy.nfl.com/group/253083

Group is called Playoff Beards and password is eagleslose. We only have five people in now, but the more the merrier. $10 winner take all, and you can PayPal to me at [email protected]

Now we return you to your regularly scheduled program already in progress.

blordinaryfagicmox

Will you accept expired Hardee’s coupons instead of paypal?

King Hippo

I’m in, blaming the oxy. Can take more than one player per team, eh? Interesting twist…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rex doesn’t want to brag, but he’s not all that impressed that Khalil Mack was named All-Pro for only two positions.

JustStopDude

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Old School Zero

AMAZING

JustStopDude

Got shipped more equipment. I still cannot recreate the problem I had in Detroit. Still have zero idea how I fucking fixed it.

Other insanity, the ex and her girlfriend want to visit me next weekend. Dear god this is a bad idea…

JustStopDude
ballsofsteelandfury

How does one say “dangerous threesome” in Japanese?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hmm, let’s see what happens if I try to embed an mp3…

http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season9/lost16.mp3

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How about…THIS

[audio src="http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season9/lost16.mp3"]

King Hippo

Since they’s no teevee, what’s everyone reading tonight?

Just starting Jussi Adler-Olsen’s “The Alphabet House” and excited because I can tell it will be good. But also sad because this will tap me out on Adler-Olsen and back to the author finding I go.

/shut-ins WOO

Old School Zero

I got “The Keeper of Lost Causes” for Christmas and I can’t wait to start.

King Hippo

Very good! The Department Q series is quite excellent. Just finished The Hanging Girl mid-week.

Old School Zero

Though right now I’m still moving slowly through The Book Of The New Sun by Gene Wolfe.

Redshirt

This might be worth a read, if you want to delve into the Bengals and their fans psyche.

http://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/columnists/paul-daugherty/2016/01/03/paul-daugherty-bengals-ravens/78228508/

Horatio Cornblower

A bunch of medical records. I’m still working.

Old School Zero

“Your honor, in the case of My Billing Hours vs. The Defendant, I submit Exhibit A into evidence–medical records showing that The Defendant does not–I repeat DOES NOT–have a penis.”

“Objection! The Defendant is a woman!”

“I rest my case!” /puts feet up on the courtroom table, unzips pants, takes long pull from a flask

Horatio Cornblower

You forgot
/pumps fist, whispers “nailed it!” under breath

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m about 3/9 through the Nine Princes in Amber series by Zelazny.

Horatio Cornblower

How is Second Hand Souls? Moore might be my favorite and I just got that for Xmas. Just finished rereading ‘Sacre Bleu’.

Beerguyrob

Starting Chapter 3 of “Becoming Richard Pryor”.

So far, his cocaine use makes sense.

Redshirt

On the other hand, we could be bad people with bad grammar.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

About once a week I quietly edit someone else’s post to correct a minor grammatical mistake. It’s the kind of quiet heroism I was born to do.

King Hippo

Drunk and fight, not Strunk and White ,, ppl forget that

Horatio Cornblower

I, uh, I didn’t actually read the post.

Old School Zero

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Redshirt

(my nightmare tonight after binge watching Star Trek: TNG)

Steelers Nation: “Tell me, how many consecutive playoff losses do you see?”
Me: “There are four losses.”
Steelers Nation: “I don’t understand how you can be so mistaken.”

http://www.saramayhew.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/vlcsnap-00330-300×225.jpg

Redshirt

(my nightmare tonight after binding on Star Trek: TNG)

Steelers Nation: “Tell me, how many consecutive playoff losses do you see?”
Me: “There are four losses.”
Steelers Nation: “I don’t understand how you can be so mistaken.”

http://www.saramayhew.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/vlcsnap-00330-300×225.jpg

Redshirt

Alright I guess I didn’t hit “cancel” in time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So…eight losses?

Redshirt

I don’t think the fans could survive that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had, shall we say, an active drinking week, so I need to take it easy tonight. Good thing I’m meeting a buddy at a bar shortly. And flying to Boulder on Sunday. Come on, willpower, try showing up in 2016

King Hippo

have you considered balancing your alcoholism with a nice pill habit? It can be slimming too!

/your friendly neighbourhood quack

King Hippo

If, in some Bizarro world version of Darkest Timeline Sports Year, the HoF class is SOLELY Steve Atwater and Terrell Davis, methinks I will walk to Canton this summer.

Sill Bimmons

I’m stuck watching Hotel Transylvania 2 at kid volume.

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King Hippo

KID VOLUME IS THE FUCKING WORST

Hang in brutha Sill, footbaw tomorrow WOO

Sill Bimmons

WHAT

King Hippo

I asked for (and finally received) Bose noise cancelling headphones, just to kill enough of the sound to be able to fucking think. I was THIS CLOSE to murder.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Duchess

Good News… Bringbackmatt.wordpress.com is now Bringbackmatt.com

Bad News: New website and new user database. I am trying to find a way to share login databases with DFO

ballsofsteelandfury

Woooo!

rockingdog

Any thoughts on the Chiefs-Texans game?

Horatio Cornblower

Chiefs-Who?

nomonkeyfun

Wait I thought that team changed their name in 1960? They haven’t had a chance since Romo went down the first time. They did give me much laughter on Thanksgiving this year.

Redshirt

I don’t know, but I think the winner will be rooting for Cincy in the night game so they won’t have to go to New England to get sacrificed for the Glory of Brady.

Spanky Datass

I think it will be great with many googlies and mooglies.

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King Hippo

I bet $33 imaginary on the imaginary team. Only seemed right, ya know?

Sill Bimmons

It will end.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I will be rooting real hard for the team that is playing against the Chiefs. Whoever they are.

King Hippo

See, a Donks and a Raiders fan aren’t that different after all! Well, at least sometimes.

Sill Bimmons

The Book Of Job is one of the most horrible things ever written.

The god of Job is a monster.

Redshirt

God in the Old Testament was merciless. I think that’s why the New Testament was created. They focused with so much detail on how and why were damned to go to Hell; they didn’t think about how to make up for it without the use of an alter and a sacrifice.

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, but it took the jeebus and the NT god to introduce the concept of hell.

No hell in the OT because life on earth was hell enough in Bronze Age Palestine.

nomonkeyfun

Whenever I am stuck at a religious service I make sure to read one of the Fucked up OT sections. Last year at my cousins Bar Mitvah I read and described the rapey and incestuos and rapey parts of Lot to my sister and my cousin. That cousin, he also acts as the interpreter of Jewish services to my sister and I. We found out that the synagogue my youngest cousins belong to, hold essentially two services back to back.

Plus, the youth rabbi, who hosts the Friday night service for the soon to be mitzvahed kid always does an uncomfortably skewed version of whatever Israeli-Palestinian arguement is in the headlines.
Additionally, they do make a point of inviting the families up, but there no organization. At my cousins Bar Mitzvah, they invitied my side of his family up when they were going to bring out the Torah. They did not appparently talk about this with hispents. There was only one person in that part of the family who is Jewish.

It was hilarious watching the Rabbi and Cantor go from person to person trying to find someone to help open the ark and carry the Torah.

When my cousin who was being Bar Mitzvahed went through the final part of the service the Rabbi and Cantor invited his family up. I looked to my Jewish cousin. He didn’t want to have anything to do with this group, so I went to rep my side of his family. I had no fuckin clue what i was doing. I say this as someone who has guided numerous shicksas through Passover service.

I do the same for Catholic and Evangelical services. But, they aren’t nearly as familiar with the old test
ment as Jews.
/Sorry for the length of my rant.

Horatio Cornblower

My son has started watching IASIP from start to finish. Just started “Charlie Goes All America Over Everyone’s Ass”

ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!

I am giddy with excitement.

WCS

For love of all that is holy, I hope none of you actually bought my piece of shit “book.”
It’s like five years outdated now, anyway.

[receives royalty check]

Mmm… you know what? Why not buy two more copies? Give ’em to you friends and family! Late Christmas gift for your boss! Something for the dog to shred! SEND ME MORE MONEY.

King Hippo

Like serious, how much is your share of the $66? More or less than, say, $0.75?

King Hippo

Like Canuck ESP or somethin’ as I most def DO have turrrible gas tonight. Sorry ’bout that. I only ate my mediterranean tuna steak with couscous, so no ‘splanation other than just being old and full of deadly methane at all times I guess.

ballsofsteelandfury

Have you moved to Porter Ranch?

rockingdog

Hahahaha
“Sources confirmed that Peyton Manning was unavailable for questions after his wife tucked him under her arm and carried him away.”
Great stuff!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not sure if WhyEaglesWhy is popping in to make an announcement, but he’s running an NFL.com playoffs fantasy contest. The group name is Playoff Beards and the password is eagleslose. It’s $10 via Paypal if anyone is interested. I’m already in, so you can have the pleasure of kicking my ass with your picks and taking my money. Winner take all.

ballsofsteelandfury

Keep in mind that DeAngelo Williams is also OUT. Pittsburgh in a NOT blowout.

nomonkeyfun

Don’t worry Moose is multiple gifgasmic. He was just on a hair trigger tonight. I’m sure we can drag a few more gifs out of him before the evening is over.

ballsofsteelandfury

I doubt any of them will be better than the blonde on the slip-n-slide.

nomonkeyfun

I don’t know, we should stop talking to Moose, for the evening, he’s seems to be throwing a you know what, if I can use the El Beisbol terminology. Started with the cheddar.(Think about it for a second)
Then went to the spitter for a couple of innings. I can’t wait to see what he pulls out next.

With the curve of the Golden to get our knees to buckle. I haven’t giffage work like this in years.

nomonkeyfun

Greatest charity car wash ever?

Hell to the quadruple yeah.

Well at least after your 17 and it’s High School Cheerleaders you’ve known for at least three years.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m in love.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m surprised the top stayed on. And the hair.

Spanky Datass

SPLOOSH!

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blordinaryfagicmox

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The boner killer.

ballsofsteelandfury

I miss that movie. If only it had more nudity, it would have been perfect.

blordinaryfagicmox

Hall of Fame eh? They still have that?

King Hippo

People will get in that are not fit to hold Terrell Davis’ jock YET AGAIN and I will get Ricky from Trailer Park Boys level pissed YET AGAIN.

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