Your “I Wish Coughlin Was Coaching One Of These Teams” Wild Card Game Open Thread

csb/ When I was at university I would go back home for holidays, spring break and the summer and sling milk for my dad so that I could have spending money. Pere had the expectation that when I was finished schooling I would join him in the business. One morning during Xmas break I was on my way to make a delivery at a grocery store and the announcer on the radio said, “Congratulations folks, today [insert hometown] is the coldest place in Canada!” Shortly thereafter I decided that the cow liquid business was not for me…

Sea @ Min: TAKE THE UNDER! The Weather Network tells me that by game time it’ll be 1 degree but will feel like -11. This would be a good spot for Peyton because he’s accustomed to not having any feelings in his fingers. But this is the NFL and we can’t have nice things. Sigh. Pundits (that have completely forgotten that Minny has been a dome team for 32 of the last 34 years) think that this will give the Vikes an advantage. Coping with the weather? No. Given these D’s I wouldn’t think that this was going to be a high-scoring game under any circumstance. Seattle did blow the Vikes balls off in wk. 13 but the former was cracking on all 24 cylinders and the latter was missing a couple of safeties, LB Barr and DT Joseph. I give Minny a puncher’s chance here-they’ve got to win the turnover and special teams games. That said, I’m making Seahawks Tyler Lockett my game MVP. Now, START YOUR TYPING FINGERS!

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Redshirt

What the… I only stepped out for like five minutes!

Dunstan

Wait, so the premise of that commercial is that it’s badass to bring watery, flavorless, 4% alcohol Miller Lite to a chardonnay party?
I liked the one with concussed Troy Aikman better.

entropy

If you don’t share, and drink the entire 30? You’re OK in my book.

(I have done this, to win a case day contest. It was fun)

...

Okay, so the commercial of the dipshit punching the frozen meat actually made me laugh.

JustStopDude

Yeah…they seemed like the coolest little daughters to have.

Wakezilla

If C-Hox wins, Wilson can say he knew they were going to win when his bottle of holy water didn’t freeze over despite leaving the water bottle out the entire day, god bless.

Spur

Get the fuck off my TV Macklemore.

litre_cola

But this is Russell Wilson country

Recovery Whiskey

Playground

Senor Weaselo

Less surmountable lead?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think it’s more surmountable now. But I’m drunk so I could be wrong.

The Maestro

And now we have a game!

blaxabbath

Hey all-

Just wrapped up the AM portion of yardwork. Saw the score and figured I’d tune in so I can call SEA soft. Naturally they’re now mounting a comeback.

Also, had to put my dog down yesterday. It fucking sucks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry, man.

litre_cola

My condolences. I love my dog more than anything.

The Maestro

Sorry to hear about your dog, man. That fucking sucks. Internet hugs.

bourb0nblues

Truly sorry to hear that.

Spanky Datass

Ouch, sorry man.

entropy

Jesus, man, I’m sorry to hear that.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’m really sorry to hear about your dog. Not gonna lie I teared up the moment I read it

litre_cola

Same here, my pug is snoring away next to me, and I looked down and have no idea how I will be able to put the little guy down in the future.

makeitsnowondem

I’m so sorry. It doesn’t get much worse than losing a pet.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Big time sadz for you, dude.

Senor Weaselo

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Wakezilla

Sorry for your loss

Shogun Marcus

Deepest condolences and sympathies. My Boston and pug send theirs.

blaxabbath

Thanks all. It fucking sucks. All things considered, it happened pretty quick and he didn’t suffer too much. But still, fuck this shit. When are those clowns in Congress going to figure out how to cross a shepherd with a one of those whales that live 200 years?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Baldwindown!

King Hippo

somebody DID say 10-9, huh?

litre_cola

Sure did Hippo

bourb0nblues

Fooking hell.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I like Russell Wilson again until the next time I hear him talk

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This comment lagged 2 plays to post

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still totes appropes.

Romonobyl

Same here, I was afraid it was my computer machine.

Wakezilla

The Hawks really should run that busted play again. See if the Vikings forget to cover their receivers

Spur

MINNESOTA YOU FUCKED UP

ThePirateSloth
Gratliff

Nice D

John Difool

Unfuckingbelievabel

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look!!!!! Offense.

Spur

jesus fucking christ

Romonobyl

Almost like they planned that.

fleshwound_NPG

There’s the Vikings I remember…

...

Jesus fuck, how did that work out?

King Hippo

well, that was unexpected

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Oh, Vikings.

Senor Weaselo

Just like they drew it up?

blaxabbath

Way to fuck that up, MIN.

entropy

MOAR DRINK has resulted in a 1:1 vodka to monster ratio…. This was ill-advised, and yet fun, not unlike the majority of my 20s. And 30s.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Isn’t that the standard mixed drink ratio, or is that only me?

entropy

I try to go a little lighter, because I drink fast and run out of shit that way, but hey, I like your style.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I go a moar 2:1 ratio.
But I’m in it for the long play.

...

Exclusive photo from the concessions area of the Vikings’ new stadium!

http://dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com/simpsonsgood23.jpg

John Difool

Stanley Kubrick approves of the new Vikings stadium

Wakezilla

Hey, if you borrow money and they get shut down by the feds, you don’t have to pay it back, right?

The Maestro

Man, those payday loan places are the lowest of the low. Fuck 60% interest rates with a rusty ice pick.

litre_cola

Scotchy I could not believe the interest rate yesterday. I work in a low income area here and those bloody cash stores are everywhere, keeps the poor down. 187% interest.

Romonobyl

I should be in the parking lot selling counterfeit Snuggies by the case at a 200% mark-up. I’d already be a millionaire!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Way to half-ass it there Sherman.

John Difool

The added weight of frozen dreds is making him slower.

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Mama no bring da soup.

fleshwound_NPG

Holy shit, dat block close

Wakezilla

Calling it now: This game is ending 9-8 Vikings. Seahawks are going to miss a field goal from 41 with a few seconds left.

...

As a fan of uncommon scores and soul-crushing defeats, I endorse this future.

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good to see the cats didn’t cut you and bleed you out overnight.

King Hippo

biding they time

entropy

Where? I’ll cut the fuckin lot of em

...

You should know I bought a bunch of Chicago-area stouts and may steal your Beer Barrel thunder this week.

You’ve been warned.

Senor Weaselo

Game, blouses.

comment image

Spur

That may really be enough to seal the win.

King Hippo

may??

litre_cola

If we learned anything from yesterday I think it will be a 10-9 final.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Blair Walsh ain’t give a shit ’bout your cold.

King Hippo

if anybody knows how to withstand cold, it’s a good Jawja boy

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wasn’t she the kinda hot but kinda fat chick on Facts of Life?

entropy

Graffiti 6, Goodbye Geoffrey Drake:

http://youtu.be/e6KgwACvpQ0

(I like me some murder ballads, sue me)

The Maestro

IN.SUR.MOUNTABLE.

Redshirt

Oh, now Minnesota is just running up the score!

Dunstan

Well, now it’s a rout

fleshwound_NPG

Insurmountable-er lead

King Hippo

well, the idiot just got them out of FG range

King Hippo

I stand corrected. HOLY SHIT

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet being head coach of Nebraska pays better than Ziggy Wilf.

ThePirateSloth

OSZ and I cheers all of you!

King Hippo

HUZZAH!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not seeing OSZ here I just assumed he died. I mean mandatory hooray he is alive.

/wow that was hard to fake I cared

entropy

Dude, it’s TYPING. No one asked you to record a caring voicemail message.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is this your way of passive aggressively saying I need to send a caring voicemail too?

/I was being really sarcastic before and now, that did come across, right?

entropy

Of course. So was I.

John Difool

Richard Sherman wearing that rag around his mouth so his arrogance doesn’t freeze.

Wakezilla

“He’s proving he’s a thug!”

–Peter King–

King Hippo

Zimmer, when he was still normal coloured

Spur

Zimmers face is approaching Shanahan levels of red.

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