I like both these teams. Both will perform very well in the last game of the year against either AFC champion. (What? Did you think that as of [checks pocket watch] 3:32 EST I know who won the AFC thingy?) Rivera and Arians both deserve all the kudos for taking formerly moribund programs to the top. And it just seems like it’s the NFC’s year this year, doesn’t it?
Stats Time: Them Panthers led the league in scoring and the Cards were second. If the Cards depend on the blitz to bring pressure they are fooked. QB Newton completes 59% of his passes, has an 80.4 QBR and has a ridiculous 80.4 QBR when the other team brings the house. As far as rushing is concerned, the Panthers attack as a team averages 4.1 yards per carry. GOSTKOWSKI SUCKS! (just saw the missed extra point)
Okay down to brass tacks (whatever that means) I sorta lucked out last week by identifying DT Short as a difference-maker. This reminds me-GM of the Panthers Gettleman drafted two DT’s back to back in the ’13 draft. Lotulelei went in the first and Short went in the second. BAM! INTERIOR D IS TAKEN CARE OF FOR A HALF-DOZEN YEARS. As far as feel-good stories are concerned the weakest narrative going is QB Palmer’s quest for a Super Bowl ring. He wasn’t that great a story in Cincy so why all the lovin’ now? Now, WR Fitz is legitimate. THIS GUY-copyright Jon Gruden-is a tried and true big game performer with stats up the whatzizz. On t’udder side of the ball I would love to see a nation of older, pale sports writers back pedal en masse from their “here comes Vince Young 2.0” interior monologues if QB Cam wins. It’s okay fellas, you’ll always have JaMarcus Russell. What say you persons? Let me know who you like below. TYPE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE, WASTRELS!
Peyton’s been doing a Trent Dilfer impression all season and Carson is doing his take on Jake Delhomme.
Trent Dilfer has been doing an impression of a toaster this season.
About to find out how a tumbler of Bulleitt bourbon reacts with Mucinex Night Time tablets
You tried it so we don’t have to?
Bourblecoma.
It’s empenada time!
THE BEST TIME
When isn’t it?
THIS IS MADNESS
The Cardinals have already just gave up on this game, haven’t they?
Cards need to trade up to get a QB in the 1st round of the draft this year.
PUT IN SKELTON
Oh….. wait
I actually want to hug Carson Palmer now.
Jesus I can’t keep up with all these turnovers.
The derp is strong.
holy shit
Goodnight. Fuck you Carson.
Goddamnit, Palmer.
Put in the corpse of David Palmer
Palmer playing like he’s still on the Bengals
PALMERCEPTION to return the favor!
oh my fuck
YOU GET A DERP AND YOU GET A DERP AND YOU GET A DERP
The Hell? Does the ball have cooties or something?
It’s that goddamn Buffalo Wild Wings bartender again.
Turnovers for all!
BA HA HA HA HA
Probably too busy planning his next touchdown celebration to throw the ball properly.
Drive that ball in the hole. Oh Troy you kinky Devil
Now Cam knows what it’s like to have something stolen from him.
Good Lord, Cardinals.
Nice of them to start a youth division for the Walter Payton award! Archie Manning’s gonna be so pleased about his boy.
Cardinals displayed a football move
Don’t punt to Peterson, especially if it’s not fourth down.
I was just ready to turn on anything else.
See, THAT’S the fun Cardinals.
Well, I never!
CAMCEPTION!!
Carson Palmer is still the most prolific USC QB in the modern era.
What about El Shitbox’s 4 playoff wins?
Man, I had such high hopes for this game. Sucky Cardinals are no fun.
Oh man, is there a well out back we can throw the Cardinals in?
Welp…time to load up my Netflix queue.
Or not…
So much for that 13-3 season Cards.
As DFO’s foremost Carson Palmer stan: aw, fuck
Welp.
Amy and Seth: I really used to like you, maybe even rubbed a few out to you, watched all your things.
But now… with Bud Light… I just can not respect you. Hate fuck you maybe, but no more love. No kissing either. Just anal.
After this game, we only have 1.25 real games of football left.
You’re actually counting the pro bowl?!?!
I’m done. I’m out.
See you all next season.
Eli Manning’s humanitarian move: sharing crayons with as many kids as he can
I’m less sure about the outcome of The People vs OJ Simpson than I am this game.
I hear Brendan Dassey confessed to doing that too
So is JJ Watt taking over for teh Fetushead Papa Johns wise?
Watt really is the defensive version of Peyton, now that I think about it.
Holy shit you’re right
Mediocre beer hawked by mediocre comedians
Define “mediocre”
I’m going out on a limb with this unpopular opinion, but I think this Cam Newton is a good footballer
STRONG TAEK
DANGEROUS TAEK
Peter King – Feburary 8th, 2016
Jesus look at those pudgy brats fighting over the ball. You’d think it was made out of fudge or something.
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/17/17791b6c760bacb6075b9c9996b2ccb4ccc4b39863274767b85cd524f43cb38a.jpg
It’s going to be so funny the third time.
“Look at Cam give the ball to these kids in the stands.”
These kids with $500 seats to a playoff game.
well in $500 1990 maybe… more like $1,500 seats
SUPERMANDOWN