Why must I be a football fan? It’s not a particularly pleasant hobby to have during this run of Pats dominance. I think this is their fifth straight appearance in this game. OOF! That’s tough to swallow. It’s not hard to envision myself in a simpler time. I can see it now. [screen goes all wavy wavy] Me and my buddies are just back from the hunt, having brought down a noble stag. There’s plenty of mead to be quaffed as we warm our balls by the large fire. It’s damn cold but there are smiles all round.
Soon talk centers on the threat from the East. The land- and power-hungry Quinnzealots have won a number of skirmishes with our neighbouring tribes and will be soon threatening our (The Allthatisgoodnauts) borders. Word has reached us that they are led by a charismatic warrior, Large Teeth. Some say that his successes are due to a shadowy black-robed druid that possesses uncanny powers that cloud the minds of those who oppose him. During battle one does not know where the Quinnzealots will attack from-when they come for you it could be from the left, perhaps the right, sometimes from the trees above, all without warning. Their small yet rabid foot soldiers buzz around one’s ankles so quickly that it is difficult to hit them with your sword. T’will be a difficult task to defeat them-that much is certain.
Well that’s just great. THE PATS DOMINATE MY ALTERNATE HISTORIES AS WELL. On to the game, I guess. The venerable Hippo could break this game down much better than I could so I’ll just toss some nougats (not nuggets!) out there. The Gronk has 6 TD’s in as many games against Denver but it’s something of a boom/bust thing. Three TD’s came in one tilt and he’s been held to as little as 35 yards in another. Brady is 2-6 in Denver over his career which bodes well for the Orange Horsies. Denver led the league with 52 sacks but in order to be successful they must get pressure from the middle of the line and not the edge because Brady lets go of the ball in just over two seconds on those quick hitters to the Amendolas and Edelmans of the receiving corps. Hochuli is the ref and we are blessed with Jim “Prominent Masters apologist and serial philanderer” Nance and Phil “safe to say Morehouse State didn’t have an Elocution elective” Seems. THERE IS GLORY IN TYPING…SO TYPE!!!
Oh, I’M the bad luck guy. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
[rips out own eyeballs]
It’s not perfect coverage if he catches the fucking ball, Phil.
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141129190636/degrassi/images/7/76/Potter_puppet_pals_angst.gif
I hate every one of you.
Damn it! Tomdown!
http://media1.giphy.com/media/oQvpRPoB6BCyk/giphy.gif
/Fuck Burneko!
🙁
Pushdown!
You gotta be shitting me.
oh well good thing there’s no offensive interference
FUCK EVERYTHING IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING WORLD OF MONKEYSHIT
But who I will get the Lamar hunt trophy?!?
AHAHAHAHAHA fucking shit
crap
YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You are fucking kidding me
Goddamn Gronk
SOUND IS OFF. I TOLD MY ASSHOLE CHEFS FAN FRIEND TO SHIT THE FUCK UP VIA TEXT
You know, I would probably really like Gronk if he played for a less hateable team.
Soooooo very true.
Hey guys, sorry I’m late – had a bad reaction between sinus meds and booze last night and my shit is NOT together. How y’all doing?
Slightly worse now
You got here just in time for the collective heart attack
Angry
If Gronk gets a TD I’ll be shopping for a new teevee.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Start shopping
Pictures or it didn’t happen
Head over to Walmart and get the latest Sorny or Magnetbox brand.
ARI/CAR better not be a nail biter OR ELSE I WON’T HAVE ANY FINGERS
Pleasegodthisisnthappening
New England basically has to score on consecutive plays here.
ONE LAST TIME, ARISE DONKS!!!!
DRAMA
NARRATIVE
YAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Edelman is pretty good at making cuts.
Ware might need to be inducted into the KSK/DFO/dick joke blog Cock Ring if Honor, next to Pollard
What the fuck?
Oh, right. Gronk.
Big dumb game ruining sex idiot.
fuckin’ backup safeties
Holy fuck.
If a team goes for it on 4th down three times in a quarter it’s usually a blowout or on one drive. Way to close it out Peyton.
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FUCK. ALL. THAT.
Receivers be falling all over the field and I don’t know why.
FUCK!!!!!
Of. Fucking. Course.
sonuva
Oh fucking hell.
Demarcus ware: Still unstoppable
If intentional grounding isn’t meant for shit like that, what is it meant for?
Shit like that, but by other quarterbacks.
Holy shit, this D.
Is that not “in the grasp”?
ONE MOAR PLAY!!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
As smooth as a walking time bomb?!?
What the fuck is wrong with you CBS?