Your “Finally!” And “It’s All Over After This?!” Super Bowl Open Thread

Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.

Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.

It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.

What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!

So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…

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WhyEaglesWhy

I’m so sure that’s a catch that it probably isn’t.

Senor Weaselo

That looks like a catch. So touchdown Seahawks?

Doktor Zymm

Looked kinda like a catch, but let’s see it 20 more times, and some commercials so I can be less sure.

JustStopDude

That’s a catch there…no part of the ball even touches the ground…

WhyEaglesWhy

Oh goodie, we’ll get Mike Carey!

Don T

Audi: We pander like nobody©

Sill Bimmons

I didn’t think that there was anything in the world that would make me not want an R8, but there you go.

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

You know, it’s really inconvenient that they keep showing this “football game” between the pregame show, commercials and half time show. Seriously, what is this shit?

ThePirateSloth

$5 million for 30 secs

Senor Weaselo

Is the CGI Baloo going to sing The Bare Necessities?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That little Webster dude is great.
-Michael Jackson

Mother Puncher

Wait, was that bear Bill Murray?

WhyEaglesWhy

I would like to see Ted Ginn either go nuts and win MVP, or have his most Ted Ginnish game ever. Both would be highly entertaining.

Sill Bimmons

dear sweet jeebus why

King Hippo

good fucking tackle (but it was #27, not Davis who made the hit – Pheeeel is such a fucking dumbass).

makeitsnowondem

F YEAH KAYVON

American Pie Story

Tons of commercials and already pushing for the halftime show? It’s like they don’t even want a game to be played.

King Hippo

that’d be cool with Jeeeeeem. Ya know, anything to get closer to the Masters.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

How is over 8 minutes to go in the 1st almost half-time?

WCS

9:14 in the first quarter.

“It’s almost time for the Pepsi Halftime Show!”

Fuck it. I might quit football because of that. Holy piss.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m giving up on the ESPN Deportes online feed. If I wanted to be behind the times, I’d move to Alabama.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mississippi Likes This +1

Senor Weaselo

What’s the future part of the Super Bowl going to be, Hologram Tupac?

Gratliff

No it’s not, stupid

Gatoraids

Manning with an express scripts commercial please

Doktor Zymm

I kinda hate Paypal, and that commercial has done nothing to change my opinion.

ThePirateSloth

I really don’t know why I want to see the Panthers lose. I just do.

I must be racist.

Sill Bimmons

GOOD THING WE HAVE DANCING ROBOTS AND IPADS INSTEAD OF A CURE FOR CANCER

Romonobyl

Good thing that kid wasn’t breech.

Gratliff

What the fuck, Doritos

Brocky

Happy first super bowl for door flies open.

TACOS AND TITTIES FOR EVERYONE!

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOOOO!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I’m so used to tuning out commercials, it’s kind hard to make myself try and pay attention.

ThePirateSloth

Just take your bathroom breaks during the game.

Romonobyl

There’s always YouTube tomorrow.

WhyEaglesWhy

If you cant get 1 yard on forth down, you don’t belong in the Superbowl imo

Sill Bimmons

First play I saw of SB XLIII was James Harrison’s pick-six in a pub in Chatswood, North Sydney.

I had just moved there and still had my bags with me at the table.

Bortleback

Stream got taken down, so back to the BBC coverage. They have brought the Irish national soccer team manager on to talk about what he thinks of American football………

Senor Weaselo

Well that was terrifying.

ballsofsteelandfury

I just timed it. The ESPN Deportes online feed is a full minute behind. This is ridiculous.

King Hippo

no te gusta?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pey Pey just tossed a pick six
(don’t read this for 60 seconds tho)

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two of the good ones, muthaflippas!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go for it Ron….you do not want to get down by two FGs.

WCS

“He’s right.”

— Mike McCarthy

Gatoraids

Atlantic city Ron

ballsofsteelandfury

That was more wide open than Belladonna’s legs!

Spanky Datass

GO FOR IT RON!!!!1

Doktor Zymm

That’s kinda a shit spot.

American Pie Story

It was definitely shorter than that, right?

Mother Puncher

Isn’t Philly Brown the name of the prostitute Hugh Grant was caught with?

King Hippo

TJ Ward, DEFINITELY tackling the ball.

Wakezilla

2 minutes of commercials after 10 seconds of football? This game is going to be 6 hours long

indieguy

good it’ll let the pizza and wings digest before I make nacho’s

Sill Bimmons

LOOGIT MR. OPTIMISM OVER HERE

The Maestro

God these Canadian commercials suck donkey balls. Fuck you, CRTC.

Wakezilla

I feel your pain

makeitsnowondem

Dinner incoming. Dill onion salmon, bay scallop ceviche, and some instant-ass butter & herb italiano pasta.

Kungjitsu

I love it when there’s a score and then a commercial break and then a kickoff and then a commercial break.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, it’s the Super Bowl. Those commercials cost a shit-ton of money!

WhyEaglesWhy

Is 10:30am too early for a beer? Poll results from my house indicate “no”.

Doktor Zymm

It’s the Super Bowl man! No time is too early!

ThePirateSloth

Never. Too. Early.

JustStopDude

There should be a rule that when its a Superbowl, none of the commercials shown should have been broadcasted previously.

I thought the whole fucking point of the Superbowl was weird and new commercials. At least half of these fucking things, I have seen already.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Why spend the money on everyday commercials?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe you are from the future?

Doktor Zymm

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CAM TIME

WCS

Avocados and Snickers were good. Everything else has been complete dogshit.

Sill Bimmons
indieguy

Are those from the ray lewis collection?

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