“What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball!”

Just like that the offseason hits. It’s a long motherfucker too. The draft is 76 days away, training camp is half a fucking year away. This is what you sign up for when you become a fan of the NFL. The longest offseason in all of sports.

You need a diversion, something to keep you occupied, something to take your attention away from the depths of Hell that is waiting for the next season to start.

I’m a baseball fan and I’m proud to say so.

I’m actually an equal opportunity fan of the 4 major sports, I also watch golf and my dirty little secret? I watch bowling. Yes, bowling.

Growing up I always played baseball. Organized ball from T-ball to the Pony leagues and during the summer time we had a big ass expanse of nothingness behind our house and we would play baseball with the other kids in the neighborhood from just after breakfast until nightfall when the siren song of every neighbor kids’ parents calling them in for dinner called a stop to the action. Unless, that is, somebody fouled a ball straight back and broke the window in our kitchen or back door first. Goddamn we broke a lot of windows.

I will be honest with you and tell you true I switched favorite teams growing up. Unlike the Vikings who grabbed my attention and never let me go, baseball was different. I started out as a fan of the Oakland A’s because I loved their very counter-culture-ness. They were unlike any other team at the time, the game was a lot more straitlaced back then and the A’s were the first team to wear vibrant colors and the funky moustaches, not to mention they were bad motherfuckers.

Oakland won 3 consecutive World Series titles from 1972 though 1974 followed by their idiot owner Charlie Finley selling off pretty much the entire team for a profit. I switched allegiance for a couple of years to the California Angels since they acquired the most former members of the A’s and they were geographically the closest team to me. I also had a soft sport for the “We Are Family” era of the Pittsburgh Pirates because I loved Willie Stargell and the rest of the crew.

At the end of the 70’s my family moved from California to Moline Illinois or the Quad Cities as the locals say. Just a couple of months later I took my first trip to Wrigley Field and that was fucking that. This was back before they installed the lights and the Cubbies were playing a double header against the hated St. Louis Cardinals. A real double header not a day/night or a rain made up type this was a scheduled double header and boys and girls let me tell you I was hooked through the bag like a junkie on smack. I had no idea there were so many shades of green and I had never tasted the wonderful combination of a grilled hot dog and a cup of Old Style brew. I was only 17 but I had a rocking porn stache and a fake ID so I was good to go. The lack of advertising, the sound of Nancy playing the organ, the only other outside noise was the stadium announcer when a batter came to the plate. Absolutely. Fucking. Glorious.

I’ve lived through the 1984 NLCS against the idiot fucking Padres and Steve Fucking Garvey. I lived though the Bartman Game and I’ve experienced more rebuilds than I care to describe. This is not an easy organization to root for. At all. I’ve mentioned in the past the challenges of being a Cubs and a Vikings fan and believe me, those challenges are very real.

Although.

Much like my beloved Vikings the Cubs are starting to look like a serious contender for contention. Not just for this year but for a long time. The core of the position players are 25 and under and all of them are upstanding, talented and very likable dudes. Anthony Rizzo, Kris Bryant, Kyle Schwarber, Addison Russell (A kid named Addison was born to be on the Cubs, now if we could find a second baseman named “Clark” we could have a double play combination for the ages), Jorge Soler, reigning Cy Young Award winner Jake Arrieta are locked in for several years and will be the core of the team for the future. Also in the offseason we added Jason Heyward and John Lackey – I call this addition as well as addition by subtraction since we stole them from the Cardinals – plus we added super utility man Ben Zobrist. Javy Baez is starting to show a little promise that he won’t strike out 92 out of 100 times while homering the other 8 at bats.

The Cubs are built to contend this year! And the next several.

This is my long winded way of saying the pitchers and catchers for the Cubs report one week from tomorrow and 4 days later the position players report.

If you have a baseball memory to share or want to rant about your team please do so in the comments. Yes, King Hippo and Father DTZM I expect a full on “Fuck Off” from you Cardinals fans and I don’t care.

Play Fucking Ball!