Oh well, brackets are dead. Now, we can excise our souls of filthy lucre, and focus on the purity of hate.
14S Buffalo vs. 3S Miami (6:50, TNT)
Behold, the bland competence of Jim Larranaga and the prettay…prettay good Miami Hurricanes. If you can look past the fact that NC State whipped their asses. I wouldn’t count on Buffalo circling the wagons on them tonight, though.
12E Chattanooga vs. 5E Indiana (7:10, CBS)
This one screams “upset city” to me, so if you are gambling-inclined, bet the mortgage/food/insulin money on the Hoosiers.
16(T)E FGCU vs. 1E U*NC (7:20, TBS)
SO MANY INITIALS! As a red-blooded American (whose alma mater has never been a 1 seed in the expanded format era, if ever), I always root like mad for the 16 seed in their Quixotic quest to topple the windmillian #1. I assure you I have never done so harder than I will tonight. AMERICA NEEDS YOU, valiant soldiers of the Credit Union squadron.
14MW Fresno State vs. 3MW Utah (7:27, truTV)
Oh, hai there, Team Secular Big Love, hoops edition. Are you any good? Not really, huh? At least you’re honest. Still probably enough to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and almost certainly enough to get past this ragtag bunch.
11(T)S Wichita State vs. 6S Arizona (9:20, TNT)
Wichita State advanced by 20 in the play-in game, and looked like shit doing so. That’s quite difficult to pull off. Nobody fucking knows what to expect out of Sean Miller’s bunch, last seen getting their pants pulled down around their ankles by a gaggle of Ducks (and no, that better not be the last Oregon rape joke we read on DFO tonight).
13E Stony Brook vs. 4E Kentucky (9:40, CBS)
Caffeinate for this one, it could be interesting. Kentucky is an up and down team, and the Seawolves have a REALLY good power forward who could make things mighty uncomfortable for Coach Cal’s bunch.
9E Providence vs. 8E Southern Cal (9:50, TBS)
MOAR offensive basketball, huzzah! The Men of Troy are led by Coach Andy, the man who led the aforementioned Credit Union side when they had their “Dunk City” S16 run. Beet juice is apparently their secret now, so look for frequent “coach, I need to take a shit” timeouts. Also, Providence is better than people think. Dangerous team if they make it through.
11MW Gonzaga vs. 6MW Seton Hall (9:57, truTV)
Ah, Gonzaga. Finally, having fallen out of favour with the committee, and having burned through all of their ancient Cinderella fan goodwill…watch the fuckwads stop fucking around and start winning games now that nobody’s picking them. There IS some talent there. And the Hall may just have shot their wad taking out Nova for the conference crown.
She’s too buff. There, I said it
Sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done
There IS such a thing as “too buff” but I don’t think she crosses that line. She’s still plenty lithe.
The hair dryers on the mirror is distracting me because it vaguely looks like a Terminator.
More like Dunk Suburb
More like Dunk Rural Conurbation.
HEY. I make the esoteric geography jokes around here.
WOOOOOOO ICE STILLERS
http://57.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ld8ccdA4vW1qabj53o1_400.gif
Saturday is going to be fun.
WOO
So, hey. Merrick Garland is the sacrifice nominee, right?
He’s actually a pretty genius pick for making the Republicans look bad. Well done Obama!
GOP 2016: We don’t even like WHITE people anymore!
Problem is, he has potential to actually suck.
If the GOP holds true and won’t meet with him it’s a brilliant PR move. BUT, if Hillary wins the election there is the potential for the GOP to approve him which, as Sill points out, is probably not the greatest thing from a progressive viewpoint.
He’s a brilliant jurist, probably too far to the right for me on criminal matters, but he’s also 63 and if my Presidents are going to get S.Ct. nominations I want someone no older than 52 to ensure 20 or so years on the Court, barring autoerotic asphyxiation accidents.
He looks good at making them look bad, but this is not a man I think should sit on the Court.
Pretty much: “I dare you to block this old-ass moderate. See what you get when you lose the election, and possibly the Senate”
Obama knows how to play the politics of this. And it’s highly likely that the younger liberal jurists weren’t exactly up for a kamikaze mission, either.
Also just to be clear, Garland is eminently qualified to be on the Supreme Court.
/said the attorney drinking beer and making dick jokes while watching 12 hours of basketball.
Agreed. He’s qualified, but so is Robert Bork.
Well no, Bork’s dead.
Uh oh. Who reminded FGCU and UNC of their actual seeds?
Yeah I don’t hold out a lot of hope for the second half playing out like the first. Except that FGCU is gonna lose both.
Per CBSSports.com, here are the proposed rule changes in the NFL:
1. All touchbacks go to the 25-yard line.
2. New Extra Point Distance is permanent.
3. Two Personal Foul Penalties equals Automatic Ejection (I’m calling it the Vontaze Burfict Rule).
4. Personal Foul Penalties are reviewable.
5. Three challenges for each team.
6. All plays are challengeable.
7. QBs can no longer fall to the ground, get back up and throw a pass (what Peyton Manning did) (apparently QBs are now playing College FB rules).
8. (Not making this shit up disclaimer) The Ravens want an eligible receiver who is declared ineligible to put on a jersey vest with an ineligible number. No word on if ineligible receiver declared eligible have wear a vest to. Or if the ineligible jersey vest comes with a matching ring to show he’s off the market.
9. No OT in Preseason. If its tied at end of the 4th quarter, its tied.
10. Intentional Grounding will be expanded, a pass from the QB has to be realistically catchable. No longer throwing the ball 30 feet in the air in the direction of the fullback.
11. Add penalty yards to distance needed for first down. CBS Sports is unclear but I think that only counts if a team commits a penalty that is half the distance to the goal, the ball is moved half the distance, but the line to gain is moved forward so its still a 10-yard penalty.
12. 48 active players on game day.
13. Eliminate one of the cut days. Teams would go from 90 to 53 instead of 90 to 75 to 53.
14. Allow coaches and players to watch video from the sideline.
Many of those are terrible. I expect us to continue to move up the google search results for “Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace.”
So, we still don’t know what a catch is?
Are you kidding me? That kind of security clearance takes years to receive.
8 is dumb, 11 is dumb, and 12 and 13 are for financial reasons.
4, 5 and 6 are look horrible. I don’t want to a 10 minute review to make sure the left tackle did or didn’t hold.
1 and 7 are also Joseph Smith-y
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6gkqnNYFG1qabj53o1_500.jpg
Did kids actually wear those Jughead hats?
Bill Parcells thinks the kid on the right looks a little too Jappy to be eating hot dogs.
All of these make a lot of sense.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/9b57b7ab07e8316afe668229dc6a876e/tumblr_n6fru6enaJ1s5u2cno1_500.jpg
This is giving me flashbacks of the PuppyMonkeyBaby…
Most of these are dumb. Honestly, they should just start from 60 players and do one cut. It makes no sense to me that there are a ton of players who will get cut before the first preseaon game and it’s because they’re essentially there to fill up space.
I’m good with the no preseason OT at least.
I like the view where I’m sitting, but outside is beckoning me like a blindingly bright siren.
Come on, man. She just did that stretch/boob push out thing.
I take my TV outside with my old Xbox 360 and use an app to watch cable TV. With the outdoor fire place, my dad and I were watching football on the porch well into November.
The view is the girl sitting directly across from me one table over.
Buy her a drink. If she looks at you weird tell her it’s a from a guy you only know over the internet.
I see my pick of Yale making it to the Final 4 is off to a wonderful start.
#Ivyleaguesmarts
Despite what they told you during your admission process, Bovine University is not and Ivy League school.
Neither is Hamburger U. or Krusty’s Klown Kollege.
But. . . But.. . It’s by far the most popular one!
I AM SO SMART, S-M-R-T
Oh shit. I didn’t know Shane was playing the Punisher on Daredevil. May have to finish the last bit of Season 1 now.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyivdqaSPT1qcb5fko1_500.jpg
http://royalflushmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/rosario-dawson-2-e1333035027630.jpg
And to which Ivy league university did this young lady attend?
I’d guess Brown.
Dartmouth.
Wait, when is S2 out??
Tomorrow, apparently.
March 25 at Midnight
Tomorrow.
If you want a game with packed seats don’t bother with Fresno St./Utah.
The players’ families are having a hard time getting excited about Fresno St./Utah.
Tough to follow up that Little Rock game.
It’s hard to stay up this late when your God won’t allow you a cup of coffee.
http://i.imgur.com/CcZBoSQ.gif
ANOTHER TRIUMPH
Good idea, wrong animal.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6k4vfk4yh1qzmopno1_1280.jpg
mmmmmmmmmmm smells good, like VICTORY!
http://56.media.tumblr.com/cf4b1963174a26635b3525a9e5ea385b/tumblr_o3xqwp6RJ51r7dgeuo1_540.jpg
Batman finally gets to the bottom of the ultimate mystery that Robin, did indeed, lay an egg.
Next we need to figure out who loosened the lug nuts on the Batmobile wheel and where the Joker got to.
I think I am doing this wrong…
Steve-O did that in the first Jackass movie.
Wait…you can see my gif? Its not showing up for me…
I opened the link in a new tab, removed the .gif suffix, and viewed it that way.
If you’re talking about posting images, you couldn’t be more wrong.
The photoessay I’ve put together out of your submissions, well, let’s just say that I’ve got my choice of publishers and that you can be expecting a royalty check which might make you think twice about this whole field engineering thing.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4vm66swDn1rx72t9o1_500.jpg
`I want to see the fucking cocaine bill for the CBS exec who green lit that fucking “Rush Hour” TV show…
When did Pizza Hut become the Official Pizza Sponsor of Door Flies Open?
Never, I hope. Unless it’s stuffed crust.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ9mbwxSSJs
In fact, on this note, we should probably establish this. I got drunk and wrote about this way back in August, but I don’t know if we ever definitively established an answer for what chain takeout pizza is best.
Holy shit. FGCU only down by one. Let’s go ultimate madness!
The very first 16/1 upset couldn’t happen to a more wonderful coach than Roy Williams.
Serious, he would die in the post-game presser, and I would laugh.
Kzrew Kyzwa krzywa
Fuck it, the Duke guy.
6 of one, half-dozen of the other…
Hey everybody!
I’m still at work!
Did I miss anything?
All of us have perfect brackets
Not work apparently.
Nope. Actually busy dammit. I’m out of here at 7:00 PDT and I will be catching up to everyone with a vengeance when I get home.
If you know any Purdue grads…they are dead now.
So I have to spend $7000 to get four wisdom teeth pulled and a root canal. How was your day?
I can’t help you with the root canal but I can get your wisdom teeth out for a lot less than that.
Please put the baseball bat down, Horatio.
Baseball bat? What is this, amateur night?
/Swings sledgehammer while whistling “Stuck In The Middle With You”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye7x3jbi_TE
At least you’ll get some happy happy fun time pills out of it.
[runs upstairs and gets the dental floss]
It’s not too late…it’s not too late…it’s not too late…
Look into dental tourism. I’m serious.
If you’re going to spend $7000 you may as well get a vacation out of it.
http://www.dentaldepartures.com/
http://www.canadiandentaltourism.com/
I would be a fool to go out tonight. Fucking amateurs.
I should also get out of this coffee shop once I finish this cold brew because it’s actually sunny in PDX.
Unsurprised Parties With Amateurs
You STILL haven’t gone outside!?!?! Get out there!
I did go outside, but then I got a sandwich at Chop and I just finished it while I still have some coffee to finish.
Double Amateur Night tonight.
Tourney + St. Pat’s =
http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/95/45/64d84fca00a603c27630aa4b1fa84fd3.gif
Jesus it’s like watching a snuff film.
Or, uh, so I’m told.
And just as hilarious.
Just when you think he’s going to stop falling HE KEEPS FALLING
It’s like in Delirious when Eddie Murphy is describing his aunt falling down the stairs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhay0VKmtPA
YES Keep fucking yourselves UNC
These are dirty words for me to say, but as someone who’s driven crazy by U*NC:
GOOOOOOOOOO IGGLES
I am so excite that the Gospel of the asterisk is spreading beyond the wolven tinfoil hat legion.
Your mom.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/59d1b95d07d88cceec89b677a07c845d/tumblr_o455gmkM7h1r7dgeuo1_1280.jpg
Go Dumples!
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m56rm2Wdr31qzeo2zo1_500.png
I laughed so hard I may have peed a little, goddamnit
Well, you certainly know how to go with the theme.
Hey, I see the Credit Union be hangin’ around!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/6ae739a05a9968af00b199ab8458ccde/tumblr_nn8byfGtUT1sjz7a3o1_400.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/f2aa82ff582fb6ed42f989b197e8a88b/tumblr_o1837qWO161syvjuco1_500.gif
Better C/D yield.
U think we ain’t gon offer competitive savings options? BUHLEE DAT!
Remember when you’d leave the house without three different cameras?
Like every day of your life?
Whenever I see that Enterprise commercial with the woman pretending the guy picking her up is her boyfriend, I yell, “Don’t you know those Enterprise people make shit and you subject them to that too? At least give him a handjob!”
Hertz gave me a handjob, but it was a reach-around.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5yi36Cgf11ryuneko1_500.jpg
As much as I want to shit on UNC, the difference between their ball movement and Purdue’s is like the difference between my ball movement looking at Iliza Schlesinger vs looking at Lisa Lampanelli
http://57.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3kv77wJiA1qmnyjio1_500.gif
http://media2.whosaystatic.com/225103/225103_762x762.jpg
Schlesinger ab workout.
Would buy it.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6bzxfCZmc1qcwhbgo1_1280.jpg
Would totes kill Christ for THAT ,, smh
Is that a rack server she’s standing in front of? With 4 2U servers installed in it? And a ups on the bottom? And something else at the top?
The picture. You’re looking at it wrong.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/37de4133ab335b2c3f71774da72b8b6b/tumblr_njb141hvZQ1sjz7a3o1_400.gif
Yeah you’re right, I think it’s just audio equipment, PA system probably. If only I could enhance on those instructions in the foreground to find out for sure.
Also would like to know if that’s black duct tape or gaffer’s tape.
And here I am wondering why she’s wearing two pairs of underwear.
Hmm yes, probably to add another layer of material between the camera and whatever is on that rack behind her, to make it that much more difficult to discern; the plot thickens.
LARGE porn stash.
She found Martin!
Hey, I thought this was Dunk City!
I DEMAND MOAR DUNKS, FGCU.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-52aG-tE8rJM/TeWnbr76tUI/AAAAAAAACck/OR5umkzvtDw/s1600/dunkindonuts4.jpg
Come on 16 seed upset!
If North Carolina loses I will vote for your candidate multiple times. I guarantee it!*
*may not be a guarantee
/I do want UNC to lose though…
I’ll jerk off in the street, and that’s a promise!
/lives in a very rural area.
I’ll run down the street in my PJ’s!
/neighbours will think even less of me
Did he just say their best move was the driving johnson?
I find myself rooting for the Hurricanes, Blue Jackets, and Wild. No way I’ll be disappointed at the end of the night.
So eh there eh…so all this week, on top of my actual job of purchasing motors, and designing/commissioning cooling systems, I got tasked with giving training to a bunch of Canucks from a company trying to bogart into commissioning our older line of drives.
I was kind of dreading this but dear lord, these guys known their shit, pay fucking attention, and keep trying to break our test equipment. Usually when the company floats this idea, I get sent a bunch of people that don’t give a shit.
Honestly to god…if it were not for the HR email, I would say this week was awesome.
Goddammit, Six fucked up my bracket, I had Baylor in the Elite Eight.
?b64lines=IEhPVyBXRVJFIEhJUyBURVNUIFNDT1JFUz8KIExFVCdTIEpVU1QgU0FZIFRISVMtLSBIRQogU1BFTExFRCAiWUFMRSIgV0lUSCBBCiBTSVguIEkgU0VFLg==
But woo I had Arkansas-Little Rock… but in the Sweet Sixteen after beating Iona.
A Biologist’s St. Patrick’s Day Song.
Very funny. If’n one of you tech types could post I’d appreciate it.
“I’d surely be bemoanin’ all that extra serotonin but my judgment is impaired and my confidence is not!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6dzUOYTQtQ&sns=fb
That’s more a zymurgist’s song than a biologist’s song.
-sigh-
Goddammit Sill.
Never, ever trust a five seed. Purdue sucks as hard as the state in which it’s located
Truer words have never been posted on this site.
While I hate these budlight commercials…I love me some Amy Schummer.
Girl got some sass…and she has the right amount of meat on her.
I got me a new hot blond Jewish Comedienne.
Say “Shalom” to Iliza.
http://pthumb.lisimg.com/image/7928036/280full.jpg
She’s in Yinzburgh tonight and tomorrow.
I’d sure like to show her around my Strip District AMIRITE
I watched her new show far longer than I would have if anyone else had been hosting
The girl got abs
http://whiteboycomedy.com/images/headshots/iliza-shlesinger-large.jpg
She’s also very funny.
My bracket is at 93.3% and that was before I got the Arkansas-Little Rock right.
This is like that part of the horror movie where you think the kids are going to make it and SURPRISE! the psycho killer is actually an immortal demon and everyone gets hacked to pieces except the virgin.
Good thing I’m a virgin!
/New School Zero chuckles evilly
That happened to me last year, I was at like 96th %ile through the Sweet Sixteen.
Then everyone died.
Oh there’s no way this stays at this level to the Sweet Sixteen. If history tells me anything it’s that a united Germany is a bad thing and that my bracket will never hold up for more than one weekend.
FUCK YOU WITH ALL THE PILE DRIVERS NCAA
Dear Purdue
HAIL CHAOS
PRAISE BE TO BLEERGH
and the people said AMEN!!!!!
PRAISE BLEERGH AND PASS THE BANANAS
Love getting upsets right
RIGHT?
/so sweet
Fuckin’ A!
Despite the fact that upset shits on my bracket, I enjoyed it.
PUR-DON’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cue Dennis Green
What a waste