Basketball Finally Ends – Pray to This Man

King Hippo -
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#2MW Villanova vs. #1E U*NC (9:19, TBS)

In a new twist on Catholics vs. Convicts (the Holes aren’t in NCAA jail yet, but that’s mostly because they confessed to EVEN MOAR SHIT to keep the university/athletic department-wide investigation going until Ol’ Roy could wrap up his precious title run), you get tonight’s “Hot Bowl of Ass” matchup. Nova shot somewhere in the neighborhood of 99.9% on Saturday night in decapitating Oklahoma, so you can figure out what the law of averages has to say about tonight’s fixture.

In other obvious news, I HATE EVERYTHING.

I would give up and just go to sleep, but I also have to pick my kid up at the airport around 12:45am. What a fucking Monday.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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makeitsnowondem

The founders named the university Nova without realizing the difficulties this would present for marketing the school to students in Mexico, where the name means “doesn’t go.”

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Doktor Zymm

I don’t know about you, but I want my Villa to stay where I park it!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit yeah…It’s a lot harder with no ACC officiating to bail you out, eh? Fuck you, Heels.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

nova…Nova….NOVA!!!!!
http://pumphousesurf.com/wp-content/uploads/animal_house.jpg

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King Hippo

Better Call Saul…so much cute. So sad we all know how shit ends.

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s my biggest problem with the show, which I do like. You can’t root for anyone because you know nothing is going to end well.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno…Cinnabon is a pretty “sweet” gig.

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Horatio Cornblower

In the below article there’s a transcript in which Roy ‘I’m gonna retire for unspecified ‘health’ reasons right before the NCAA ban hammer comes down’ Williams says that he has to tell his players what moccasins are and how long a “moon” is. While I know it’s tongue in cheek I’d maybe rethink telling reporters that I have to explain basic concepts to my players when my school has a well-known and well-deserved reputation for academic fraud.

http://awfulannouncing.com/2016/roy-williams-season-long-media-feud-suggests-hes-not-a-hell-of-a-lot-smarter.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=roy-williams-season-long-media-feud-suggests-hes-not-a-hell-of-a-lot-smarter

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit ‘Nova….it’s gonna suck (more than usual) around here for the next several months if you don’t get yo shit togethah!!!!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sadly, this WILL likely be the scene at the home of my white trash family members who are U*NC fans (did NOT attend the school….there is a basis in fact for most stereotypes).

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WCS

If they do, Angelo Cataldi (Philly sports equivalent of Jim Rome) will spend all day tomorrow on how Villanova let down the Philadelphia sports media.

Yes, he really did that in 2013 after La Salle lost in the Sweet 16.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A military program I can fully support.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/09e4e86df8bc80e9268154da6cf848f1/tumblr_mpvfis2i0U1rpduwho1_500.gif

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ArmedandHammered

Is that from “No Time for Sergeants”?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can’t find it now; I think it was an older movie.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t know if that new TBS show The Detour will ultimately be any good or not (though it does look to have potential). But for some reason have already set the DVR to be sure not to miss it….now, why did I do that again?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reward if found. Answers to Лайка.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/131e05add84abf34d760bda739774c9a/tumblr_n1j0d4z2MH1rpduwho1_500.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lost at a slightly higher elevation.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAHAHAHAHA I’M MAD WITH POWER! I’VE FINALLY FOUND IT!! THE GIF OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!

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Don T

Oh yes. That gets the Escher Award. An Eschy?

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herodotus450

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4pV7PiCq-U

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Halftime brought to you by my U*NC hatred.
(totally NSFW, btw)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RLDZaWN8b4

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Might be time to get Cousin It neutered.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s on FIRE, people. FIRE!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Senor Weaselo

Or would you have to get It spayed?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.foxnews.com/images/289360/0_61_060607_barker1.jpg

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ballsofsteelandfury

“Fuck your Hair”?

That’s an… interesting way to protest…

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Doktor Zymm

The backstory : 5 Rabbit Cerveceria pulled their beer from the bar located in the Trump Tower after Trump’s comments about how Mexicans are all rapists. They renamed the beer and distributed the kegs around the city.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I still don’t understand how “Fuck Your Hair” is a good insult.

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Don T

The brewery’s called Good Beer Hunting. Methinks bon mots is not their forte.
/adjusting monocle

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ballsofsteelandfury

Does anyone know who “mother of red dragon” on our ESPN Tourney Challenge group is? I think it’s Upstate Underdog, but I’m not 100% sure.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thing is I got in trouble.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/159db4f7c480e27396034e91ae9bd3c1/tumblr_n6lv3v2OWX1rpduwho2_500.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose getting head….Whatchoo complaining about?

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Horatio Cornblower

Shoulda tapped her on the shoulder.

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Doktor Zymm

I walked by Weiner’s Circle this morning and they’ve instituted a new menu dedicated to Trump featuring 3 inch hot dogs.

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ballsofsteelandfury

How’s the Favre Dog?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a picture of it on the website.

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ballsofsteelandfury

If I had a nickel for every guy that told me to click on a website to see a hot dog…

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makeitsnowondem

fucking furries

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King Hippo

switching to el beisbol. FUCK YOU, UNIVERSE

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litre_cola

I just flipped to the Dodgers game. Sweet Jesus I thought my boys has a good day, stupid magic johnson and his straight injections of cash into his veins.

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

I wonder how much money Michael Jordan has lost gambling so far today.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Why should he care? Mafia can’t kill his father twice.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is goooood.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That should be banner quote material

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Horatio Cornblower

Indeed. Gotta include both for context but in this case I say go for it.

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King Hippo

whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch

THE CAROLINA WAY

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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

My fake online university will also offer graduate classes :
http://blog.poopycat.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Professor-Catstein-Explaines-whiskers.jpg

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herodotus450

So they can feel through tight spaces, especially in the dark.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is going to all fall apart when the sun shines through a window.

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makeitsnowondem

I have made at least two dozen inquiries to Rob Lowe about The Christmas Shoes, and none have been answered.

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Beerguyrob

How many from outside his house?

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WCS

Sometime during the Nixon Administration, I think.

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Senor Weaselo

Playoff smoothies, halle-fucking-lujah.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Everybody knows the Ladies love the boat cars.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/ff61db12b9bd26dbc3271ea70384fbe5/tumblr_o0z18rFg5E1rojphdo1_540.png

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WCS

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makeitsnowondem

Now there’s a change: A dagger from the Hart.

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makeitsnowondem

I’m too sick to drink during this thing, help

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King Hippo

Step One: Go to doctor.
Step Two: Acquire Tussionex Prescription.

Sincerely, your friendly neighbourhood quack

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WCS

THIS MAN NEEDS MDMA, STAT

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Doktor Zymm

Whenever I get around to creating my fake, online university, I should make sure it has some sports teams.

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Senor Weaselo

Go Dumples!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPLcWrizSNk

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King Hippo

You should be able to get a bachelor’s in cat memes. WHY THE FUCK NAWT?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the accreditation is fairly simple.

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Doktor Zymm

Already hired a ‘professor’
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Horatio Cornblower

Isn’t that already the Tar Heels?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, I had a productive day at work.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/7503e1c6ac21ff7ee51bfda539873ae6/tumblr_nzo87mrWil1s02vreo1_400.gif

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King Hippo

I swear to holy fuck (and the new cool Pope) those unis look black to me. Color deficiency WOO!!

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King Hippo

What is “Moose’s personal heaven, Alex?”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gots to load yur own ammo tho; that shit spensive off the shelf.

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WCS

I can’t be the only one who’s bailing on this for Saul, right?

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King Hippo

Once my DVR gets 10 mins in and assuming the Holes are ahead, you’ll have imaginary, pill-addled company.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto.

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King Hippo

Nighttime coffee (with honey, fuck it, will splurge with teh calories) in NC State mug to ward off the juju. LET’S HATE WATCH SOME BASKETBALL. WE ARE ALL CATHOLIC TONIGHT WHICH IS NICE BECAUSE “CATHOLIC” IS S’POSED TO MEAN UNIVERSAL AND ALSO FUCK CAROLINA AND FUCK OL’ ROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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King Hippo

TWAS NO ORDINARY BUNNY!

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Horatio Cornblower

JOYSUS CHRIST!!!!

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litre_cola

Anyone know the names of these fake classes available at UNC? I gotta say I took Rocks for Jocks, and Theory of Coaching in my 1st year of uni, and those were pretty easy.

Igneous, Sedimentary, Metamorphic! Still got it.

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King Hippo

You now qualify for at least a masters at U*NC. Could probably run the department.

For the record, most of the fakery was in Swahili and African-American studies. You better believe it was set up that way to make it harder to scrutinize, and they’ve been allowed to skate on just how cynical and racist as fuck that aspect of the scandal is.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

But, but….Dean Smith was a pioneer in race relations. He even took a black kid to church once.
-Local pro-UNC media types

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Sill Bimmons

WHO CARES

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Sill Bimmons

This is going to suck.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Five time Nat’l Champions my goddamned ass!!! Cheated for (at least) two of them…if there’s a god this will be demonstrated publicly soon enough.

AND ONE WAS AWARDED BY A GODDAMNED BAKERY AFTER THE FACT!!!!!!

Look that shit up…I’m am not kidding.

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litre_cola

God, is it me or has the first 2 months of the footbaw offseason just dragged along?

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King Hippo

It’s NAWT just you.

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WCS

Once teh hawkey is over, the real pain begins.

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litre_cola

Love that they haven’t destroyed the Astrodome yet.

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

This is going to be a blow out isn’t it?

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WCS

The hate from Seamus is already palpable; Hippo is passed out, face down in the kitchen, with an empty bottle of Lortabs nearby, and a large pile of pill residue on the counter.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I paced myself. Two big rain delays in B’more helped me to get a nap and not drink myself into a stupor before sundown.
And O’s even managed to do a good.
First Place Tie bitches (until tomorrow probably).

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litre_cola

Bryce Harper wearing the “make baseball fun again” hat is great hustle.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

“One Shining Moment” can suck my balls. Back when REAL teams won Nat’l Championships, this was the post-game/tourney highlight reel muzak.
(I’m not making this up…in ’83, this was the music used…I have VHS quality video proof in a box somewhere in the attic)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxlpfsp2-yY

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Doktor Zymm

Meh, I’m gonna go take a hot bath instead, enjoy the basketballing. Because I am a crazy person, I’ve started walking the 5.2 miles to work once or twice a week. It was colder than anticipated today, and sitting still doing computer stuff didn’t exactly warm me up.

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WCS

So, if the Shitheels win, will we at least the added benefit of watching both Hippo and Seamus developing stomach ulcers live?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have removed all live ammunition from all firearms in the house.
I am NOT making that mistake again, and the cat is pleased about this.

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bourb0nblues

I hope Stone Cold shows up and beats the crap outta everyone.

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WCS

WIP was extra saucy today, wanting to talk ‘Nova, but having to cede to Phillies coverage.

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