#2MW Villanova vs. #1E U*NC (9:19, TBS)
In a new twist on Catholics vs. Convicts (the Holes aren’t in NCAA jail yet, but that’s mostly because they confessed to EVEN MOAR SHIT to keep the university/athletic department-wide investigation going until Ol’ Roy could wrap up his precious title run), you get tonight’s “Hot Bowl of Ass” matchup. Nova shot somewhere in the neighborhood of 99.9% on Saturday night in decapitating Oklahoma, so you can figure out what the law of averages has to say about tonight’s fixture.
In other obvious news, I HATE EVERYTHING.
I would give up and just go to sleep, but I also have to pick my kid up at the airport around 12:45am. What a fucking Monday.
Wooo! Maryse is back, baby!
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4300000/Maryse-maryse-ouellet-4387485-397-561.jpg
Let’s go Cubbies!
That was one hell of a basketball game but it’s opening day.
I did find time to watch Better Call Saul though.
Here we go Expos, here we go!
Yeah, I mostly stopped following beisbol after the ‘Spos left Montreal.
I’m truly amazed at the number of Canadians we have here.
That’s a good thing!
Well, it’s not like there’s much reason for the Quebecois to follow the rest of the NHL season
Is everyone asleep? Ok, fine, I will follow your lead
I’m catching the Raw replay and already, it’s kind of stupid. You hate your son with a passion so much, you disowned him. So what do you do the next evening? You give him a chance to run Raw? Da fuq is that?
Obviously a clear vision.
I am going to RW some Cougar Town because someone brought up something tangentially related and then I mentioned the show and now I want to watch it
http://25.media.tumblr.com/9f1fbd2da8ff8fffade47771856146f2/tumblr_mgszg3vHnZ1qhphz2o1_r1_500.gif
Oh shit…I was so happy about my U*NC schadenfreude that forgot about Better Call Saul.
Woooo…BONUS!!!!!
See ya’s in a bit.
Nick Offerman is on Colbert now and has restored the show’s watchability.
I haven’t watched Colbert’s Late Show in a while. Is it worth another try?
Only if Norm Macdonald is on.
It’s not the Colbert Report, but some of the bits are good. The interview portions are your standard late night talk show fare.
Sadly, no.
God, I wish Gus Johnson called that game winner. Would’ve been epic.
“OHHHHHHHH VILLANOVA BRINGS THE TITLE BACK TO CHOCOLATE CITY! I HAVEN’T SEEN A SHOT LIKE SINCE TAMIR RICE!”
“Speaking of academic fraud, here’s three-time national champion coach Jim Calhoun to talk about the end of this game.”
Matthew Perry is on Colbert (this is what we’re liveblogging now, right?) and he a) is painfully unfunny, b) has an Odd Couple reboot that looks terrible, and c) looks like he has something wrong with his mouth like he had a stroke or something.
I heard about that Odd Couple reboot but as God is my witness I thought it had already been canceled.
Why would any ‘Friends’ cast member bother working at all anymore? The residuals have to be obscene amounts of money.
The Odd Couple reboot is awful but it has a decent cast, I honestly had forgotten it existed til someone brought it up though. And while most of the rest of the cast of Friends is terrible, Courtney Cox did some good work on Cougar Town, just skip the first 6-13 eps and get to it being a show about people being drunk on wine all the time.
I stand corrected; Cougar Town was actually pretty funny.
Agreed. But very little of that was due to Courtney Cox.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llrnl83XVH1qbsr15.gif
That show Go On was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be.
I sort of liked that show too. Wasn’t great but mostly watchable.
Archie Manicottialforno won Final Four MVP.
I can’t wait for the crusty old white sportswriters who voted for him to die.
The world will be such a better place without them.
“Coach Williams when you go back into the locker room what do you tell your players?”
“I tell them that no matter what they always have their UNC degree to fall back HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh man, thanks. I needed that.”
He did NOT say that….did he?
No, he actually gave a very nice statement about not being good enough to console his players, thanked the reporters politely and then left.
Sooooo….basically this….
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hfirdv34n7A/S8lSkn-mjyI/AAAAAAAAERA/AkfrATQLtYc/s1600/HUCKS+HACK+14.PNG
Tomorrow the UCONN Women Huskies, (the Bitches, if we’re being canine accurate about the whole thing), will whomp Syracuse by 40 for their 4th straight title. Book it.
Also very few people will give a shit.
I get that people are griping about women’s sports, but most people barely give a shit about most men’s sports.
“Hey watch the WNBA… even though people barely give a shit about our actual money-making league!”
I have been to a WNBA game before. Yes, they paid me to be there.
The UCONN women winning the national title is the same as Hippo saying, “I’m getting blitzed on pills,” myself saying, “I’m going to drink a pint of bourbon tonight,” or the sun saying, “I’m going to rise in the east in the morning.”
Or me saying, “John Salley showed me his cock once, and I said, ‘You are no Brad Daugherty, mister!'”
What’s funny about that is that they had a poll on ESPN last night showing that 66% of people in the ESPN brackets picked UCONN to win it all and I thought “so 34% of ‘Murica are morons” and then I remembered Donald Trump’s numbers and for one brief shining moment everything made sense.
ONE SHIIIINING MOMENT…
…I’ll shut up now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7tkK-1-fFM
“No matter what, we were gonna win the overtime”
Spoken like a true UNC “student-athlete” who failed to realize they were nearly 5 seconds from OT.
UNC players fake classes like Khloe Kardashian fakes orgasms.
I’m pretty sure that when her penis emits sperm she’s had a real orgasm.
Fair enough, she also tells Lamar it’s still 1998 and she cannot wait for his season at URI to start.
UTI way more likely.
He was a Ram for a reason, sir.
Yes.
I was merely making a snide comment about the condition of her hygiene as it pertains to her reproductive/urinary tract.
Oh Seamy baby, I know what you were going for and I loved it!
Don’t take me seriously, it’s like Greg Hardy saying he was playing Twister and it went bad!
Right hand, Jaw!!!!
When did “All I Do is Win” become the victory song for everything?
Of course the black guy won it for Nova, UNC isn’t that great at studying them.
This is a very underrated comment. It’s like a 7 seed winning the whole thing.
The official ladder! Because that can be a thing.
Pity the fucker who uses the unofficial one
In WI we have gotten radio commercials about the official ladder all tourny that I am looking forward to ending, not sure if it is a nationwide thing.
/ 5th time attempting this msg, please don’t eat it again site
// was more eloquent and witty the first 4 times
Soooo… just got back from the gym, suddenly realized that the game was on. Holy shit. And what a happy ending this was! Fuck yeah, ‘Nova!
Villanova wins the national championship, students riot and burn down three blocks of Philadelphia, no one notices anything different.
More like a group of Nova students get burned alive themselves in North Philly.
I shudder to think what Kelly’s is like right about now.
That riot was prescheduled because they showed Rocky 5 on AMC the last week and none of the good ones
“none of the good ones”
So the one with Joe Frazier in it?
That was fun. I’m going to pass* out now.
*Certified by the UNC African-American studies program.
Evening. Sounds like I missed a helluva game, but I stand by my decision to eat BBQ while listening to Grammy winning big band instead.
Funny, I ate a Grammy winning big band while listening to BBQ on the Food Channel!
I am trying to think of something that begins and ends well, but is horrid for the middle part. I think it would be an apt metaphor for this tournament.
Sex. IMO
http://exrna.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/sciencecatsays.png
Mine usually ends a little more like if this were an U*NC victory. Disappointing and embittering
Yay!!!!!
(bcuz you used the asterisk…not because of the, other thing)
Jay Wright looks like a real estate agent who grabs your girlfriend’s tits while showing you the bathroom.
Holy Shit! What a game! You’ll be seeing that game winner in highlight reels for the next 30 years. Wow.
Woulda been way sweet if Emmert said…
“I’d like to congratulate U*NC on a great championship game….and we’ll talk more about it when I’m in town for a visit next week”.
But alas…no.
Man the Main Line is going is going to be ruined on Lime-A-Rita’s and Smirnoff Ice tonight!
AH HAHAHAHAHA
ESPN showing UNC students morosely walking back to their dorms and speculating that they’re going back to study. UNLIKE THE ATHLETES AMIRITE?
I heard they give Carolina degrees on wooden nickel surfaces.
Fun fact: “Wooden Nickel” was a euphemism for $500, also known as “the amount Coach Wooden used to arrange for his players to receive for each game they played.”
But a “Wooden Shower” is a B. Cole exclusive!
Is that what you call it after a particularly heavily-oaked chardonnay?
Fuck Kenny Smiff.
And now, what we’ve all been waiting for… Jim Nantz.
THIS NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP I CALL IT BEATNIK BECAUSE IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SNAPPERS
When you’re a student athlete at the University of North Carolina, they can teach you a lot of things, but they can’t teach you how to heal from a broken heart.
Also they can’t teach you mathematics, literature, chemistry, history, or pretty much anything else in the realm of academics, either. Not that they can’t so much as that they just don’t bother to try.
The boom you just heard was WIP nuking itself. Holy sweet turd on a stick.
THAT was sweet. Go fuck yourself, Michael Jordan.
God, what a campy celebration! Is Rip Taylor in charge?
Twitter already abuzz about a Philadelphia sports championship. Yeah, no. Don’t be that guy.
Anyone else psyched for the Roy Williams presser?
I will fund the college education for the children of the reporter who asks Williams “Coach now that you’ve lost in heart-breaking fashion will your players go back to their imaginary classes or will they just go home and still pass every class somehow/”*
*I will not actually do this.
I’d chip in.
I’m interpreting your disclaimer to mean that you’ll fund their attendance to UNC, where they won’t actually receive a “college education”.
And as a follow-up: “Do you still plan to retire ahead of the sanctions with your middle finger waving at the media, now that you don’t have your precious “validation” title?
Seriously, fuck Roy Williams. Sanctimonious prick. “Yeah, come to UNC and I’ll require you to go to church once a week for at least a year*, but don’t sweat it, you’ll have plenty of free time for all the classes I don’t require you to go to.”
/*From an SI article about Williams I read years ago. If it’s not accurate I’m going to go ahead and blame PK
Yay Big East! I mean boo old conference rival, but yay? I think?
GO UCONN!!!!
/That’s how this works right?
Never UConn. Unless they’re playing Cuse. Then UConn IFF no meteor.
UCONNT KEEP DENYING THEIR LOSS
“…hit probably the biggest shot of his basketball career…”
Apparently this guy went to PK’s alma mater, Equivocation University.
MAYBE
POSSIBLY!
WHO MELTED MY KIT KATS?
On the other hand, someone I fucking loathe and despise above few others is a UNC grad.
Either outcome would have sucked, but at least that person is crying in her fucking Miller Lite.
Fuck you, Jamie!
“Fuck you, Jamie!”
– the Stark family
Yeah!!!! Fuck you, Jamie.
I assure you that Jamie is in no way unrepresentative of her people.
FUCK CAROLINA WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah ¡Jaime cabrón!
Wait, who’s this Jamie?
My ex-wife’s best friend.
Did something happen? I was too busy masturbating to Kerry Kittles highlights.
I have to admit, I was rooting against NC because fuck that team and state. Great ending.
Any way I can like this +1/2?
YOU WIN CATHOLIC JEEBUS!!!!!!
O/u on Hippo’s fleeting moment of euphoria?
It’s like two pills on a REALLY empty stomach, man…
This last beer is going to taste extra-good now!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
DON’T CALL THE FUCKING PICK OR ANYTHING
I’m so sorry I doubted you God…that was WAAAAYYYY betterer!!!!!!!!!!!
http://2f13yq12csmv2yraq925m73i.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/unc3-610×488.png
HOLY SHIT NOVA