To address the obvious first: Yes, we are going to do Mexican/Spanish themed food two weeks in a row. Unlike last week when we did an Americanized version of a very common Mexican food item, Enchiladas and refried beans which can be found in pretty much any chain Mexican restaurant (well probably not turkey, mushroom and bacon style, that shit was my invention) no, today is real authentic, rustic style Mexican/Southwest, Rancho style food. This is an ultra-traditional and very historic food item but at the same time it may be one of my favorite things ever.

Today we are making Carne Guisada and homemade pinto beans. Fuck yes! And I’m going to toss in a California history lesson too!

/dodges rotten fruit

You are going to learn things! It will be fun and educational.

Well, it may be educational.

Let’s start with the meal itself. Carne guisada is a spicy slow roasted stew made with chunks of beef that are slow cooked in beef stock along with some spices, onion, celery, garlic, jalapenos and tomato paste. Yes, jalapenos. Stop being such a damn sissy, these are slow cooked for a couple of hours and the spiciness gets mellowed out some. Some. Since we’re doing old school rustic shit I decided to make some pinto beans ranchero style. Different than refried beans in that they are slow cooked and left whole as opposed to mashed. Carne guisada is a stew and not to be confused with carne asada which is closer to a grilled steak. We’re going to keep this real authentic by serving alongside some flour tortillas and a little garnish of cilantro (optional).

You will absolutely love this recipe,

Now for the lesson!

I’ve been a California resident off and on for pretty much the majority of my life. I did live in New Jersey, Illinois and Iowa for a few years in there but I kept moving back to California. Eventually I realized that after moving back each time maybe I should just keep my ass put. As some of our other California residents will testify, every kid who goes through the California school system will encounter the inevitable “Mission Project.” I think it’s around 4th grade. During this project each student has to choose one of the 21 California missions, learn that fucker up, read about the (in)famous Father Junipero Serra, who was actually considered a real asshole, then you have to make a little scale model of your chosen mission and turn it in to the teacher for grading.

Every California student!

I chose Mission San Diego de Alcalá and so did both of my daughters. It’s actually some pretty damn fascinating history.

Fun story! After I divorced their mother my daughters lived with my ex for several years in San Diego. I would drive down from L.A. every other Friday after work, pick them up for the weekend and drive them back to San Diego on Sunday. 120 miles each way. For 10 fucking years. I killed two cars just making this drive. Anyway, one Friday I pick up the girls and my ex said, “Littlest Right has her mission project to finish. It’s due on Monday.” Geez, thanks hon! 2 1/2 days to finish this goddamn thing. Did I mention that she hadn’t even started it or chosen a mission yet? So we hit the road, exited off of the 8 freeway right by Qualcomm Stadium and went strait to the mission. We did the tour, learned some shit and right there in the gift shop they had “mission kits.” which I’m sure they sold a shitload of. We spent the rest of the weekend putting her project together.

She got an “A”.

I’m telling you this because the priests who founded, ran and catholicized the native people had a massive influence on the culture of California. Still do to this day. The Catholic church brought the Spanish influence to the area that was pretty much un-fucking-civilized at the time. The Spanish influence included having a major impact on the local cuisine.

See! It does come back to food!

In the late 18th and early 19th centuries the Spanish, and later Mexican governments encouraged settling in this part of what was to become California. What they did was give out land grants for huge swaths of land to be settled, cultivated, built up and could also be used as ranches for cattle and sheep. Early California was called Alta California which is north of the still relevant Baja California. The parcels of land were called “Ranchos” and were the precursor to ranches.

I currently live in what was then called Rancho Sausal Redondo which currently is known as the South Bay and includes the land of LAX, south through my town of El Segundo and extended down the coast past what is now Redondo Beach. Can you imagine owning the land rights from Marina Del Rey south through Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach and into Redondo Beach? Somebody had to suck the mighty righteous dick to get that grant.  The prefix of Rancho is still used for many California cities. Just south of where I live is what is still called Rancho Palos Verdes (you want an expensive zip code? Try this motherfucker!) In North County San Diego is Rancho California and on and on. There is a restaurant in El Segundo called Sausal that celebrates this heritage with their menu.

Got it? Yes there is a reason for this.

Life on the ranchos included cultivating the land that became the basis for California’s abundant agriculture production. The owners of the rancho used indigenous locals who spoke Spanish as hired help. Other duties on the rancho included raising cattle and sheep. Did you know that California is the 4th highest producer of beef still? It trails only Texas, Nebraska and Kansas in beef production.

See? Facts. Dropped!

The ranchos had a communal system for the families and help who worked the land that included communal meals of some of the locally grown produce as well as some of the locally raised meats. A mealtime involved everyone gathering around and having a common meal that generally took hours to cook and would feed the entire masses of the families and the help. That was the inspiration for today’s menu. In all honesty this dish would probably be considered a side dish. There was almost certainly a wood fire going, mesquite wood more than likely, and you know there was some flame grilling going on too. More than likely some carne asada or knowing California some tri-tip. What is it with this state and tri-tip? Give me a nice fat rib-eye any day of the week.

See that wasn’t so bad was it?

Wake the fuck up class! We have some cooking to do!

Carne Guisada.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Get a 2-3 pound slab of chuck roast

2 1/2 cups of beef stock. Store bought is fine

1 large onion chopped

4-5 celery stalks chopped

5-6 cloves of garlic minced

3-4 jalapenos, stem and seeds removed and chopped.

2 tablespoons of tomato paste

1/4 cup of flour

2-3 tablespoons of vegetable oil

1 tablespoon salt

1 tablespoon of ground black pepper

1 teaspoon of ground cumin

2 teaspoons of chili powder

In a large bowl toss together the onion, celery and jalapenos.

This is a southwest version of a mirepoix, the classic cooking base for many, many foods. The original mirepoix is diced onion, celery and carrot. For creole cooking it turns into the Holy Trinity of onion, celery and green pepper. This southwest version is onion, celery and jalapeno and I highly suggest giving it a try on your next batch of chili or with anything needing a southwest kick.

Next after washing the cutting board we are going to cube up the beef. I’ve mentioned several times before that instead of using pre-cut up “stew meat” cut up your own. This gives a better consistency to the finished product since it is all from the same cut of meat.

Get a large dutch oven heating up on the stove top. Add the flour to a plastic bag and toss the beef chunks in there to coat. Pour some of the oil into the hot dutch oven and start browning the meat. Work in batches to avoid overcrowding the pan. Season the browning meat with the salt and pepper. Sear for about 4 minutes per side then remove from the pan and finish the rest of the browning. Be sure to season each batch with some salt and pepper.

Once the meat has been browned, remove the meat from the pan and set aside for a moment. Deglaze the pan with about a cup of the beef stock. Be sure to scrape up all of those lovely little browned beef bits. Add the onion, celery jalapeno mix to the pan and cook for a minute or two. Next add in the rest of the beef stock, the garlic, the cumin and chili powder and the tomato paste. Bring to a simmer, put the lid on the top of the dutch oven but be sure the lid is JUST slightly askew. Place the entire thing into the preheated oven and let this baby cook for about 2 1/2 hours. Honestly? You don’t have to do shit with it. Not even a stir unless you must stir things. Nah! Let this fucker go.

You are once again going to be assaulted by the smell. This one will have the neighbors stopping by salivating and asking “What in the living fuck are you cooking and when will it be ready?” Don’t worry, you only have to smell it for a little over 2 hours.

Pinto beans

You will probably note that there is gratuitous bean placement in Sunday Gravy. That’s because they are delicious, ridiculously easy to make and cheaper than a two dollar hooker. Plus they are versatile and in today’s version extremely authentic.

1 16 oz bag of dried pinto beans. Be sure to sort through the beans since there are frequently little rocks. Rinse the beans after sorting.

1 onion diced

4-5 cloves of garlic minced

Salt – to taste. Don’t over-salt early. Add at the end if needed.

1/2 tablespoon ground black pepper

1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon of chili powder.

2-3 dried red chili pods (optional) Chile de arbol would work great here.

3 slices of bacon

Sound familiar? I will frequently use similar spices in the primary as well as the side dishes for additional culinary symmetry.

Put the beans in a pot. You do have another large pot don’t you? Especially since we put the dutch oven in the oven for a few hours. Add enough water to cover the beans by about 2-3″. Add in everything else but the bacon and bring to a simmer on the stove top. Stir this about every 20 minutes or so and keep this just to a steady simmer and not a roiling boil. After about 2 hours get another skillet and cook the bacon. C’mon man! You’re gonna need more fuckin’ pans!

Cook the bacon, drain the bacon and eat the bacon. Delicious wasn’t it? Now take the bacon grease and add it to the beans. Oh yes. You can even say these are vegetarian style beans since they don’t have meat in them. Fool your friends! Especially your vegan friends, After about another 15-20 minutes the beans should be cooked and tender. Go ahead and leave them whole for the ranchero style. If you used the dried chile pods you can remove them now or just leave the fuckers in like I do.

It’s show time folks!

Spoon some of the carne guisada into a bowl and garnish with some chopped fresh cilantro. I know cilantro is a “love it or leave it” type herb but it works well here. Plus it made for a pretty picture for this post. Scoop some beans in another bowl. You can do what I did and sprinkle with your choice of cheese or you can leave the cheese out. When given the option I always choose the cheesy route. Warm yourself some flour tortillas. Fuck yes I’m using store bought here. My knee is fucked up and I ain’t standing over a hot Comal on these wheels. Not to mention I don’t have a tortilla press. Serve the tortillas on the side for scooping, grabbing or filling at will.

The stew is rich, dense, meaty as fuck and has a slow tingle on the tongue from the jalapenos and spices. I may not be a good judge of heat levels but I have served this to many people and nobody ever said it was TOO spicy. The smooth beans have a perfect texture for accompaniment and also feature that same spice tingle from the chile, chili powder and cumin. Rip off a piece of tortilla, grab a chunk of meat, spoon some beans over and shovel away. You are going to want mass quantities of cerveza with this. Might I suggest some Modelo or Dos Equis Amber? Shit, a lager would be great here too.

If you want to make a stupid good chunky beef enchilada with the stew you can. Wrap some chunks of the meat  along with some cheese in corn tortillas, roll up like we talked about last week. No store bought sauce needed, just use the sauce from the stew. Cover with cheese and bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Best chunky beef enchiladas ever. But that isn’t today’s theme.

Here endeth the lesson.

That was alright wasn’t it? You got a little California history, a little California Mission history, probably worked up some sympathy for all of the California 4th graders and you also got one of my all time favorite foods.

I’m going to go ice down now. Sounds like I might need a few days at Rancho Relaxo!

Vaya con Dios!