Pick Is In – A [DFO] 2016 Draft Challenge LIVE Results Post

So we’ve made it to the first major event of the 2016 NFL season, the first round of the draft is tonight! As we are reminded that coaches, general managers, and meddling owners are the real stars of this league, we will also use this event to be introduced to the latest class of well-dressed athletes who, in as soon as four years even, may be budding stars preparing to be training camp hold outs insisting on new contracts, early retirees, or simply journeymen professionals chasing their athletic dreams.

Remember about a month ago when the draft universe was upside-down? The top two picks, Tennessee and Cleveland, presumably pleased with their quarterback situations (because nothing says “nah, we’re good at QB” like having a top draft pick), were expected to kick off the draft with unsexy upgrades to their non-existent lines. Boltman and Ol’ Double-J would then get some screen time before perpetual top-five picker Jacksonville would bring aboard someone with high upside who won’t make it to the preseason without getting an injury that will land him on the season-ending IR. Also, the P*triot’s didn’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. But that didn’t matter because, with Tom Brady for 16 weeks, this team didn’t need a first round pick to get off to a hot start.

Well, now our draft universe is upside-down for other reasons. The Los Angeles Rams of Raider Nation announced that their “philosophy has always been to build through the draft” before sending six of their first seven picks over the next two years to Tennessee in exchange for the right to pick first tonight. Who will they take? Well, RAMIT insiders haven’t decided yet. Not to be outdone — by LA or their previous regime — the Philadelphia Eagles gave up eight picks to earn the right to draft whoever gets rejected by the guys who assembled a 2015 QB depth chart of Nick Foles, Case Keenum, and Sean Mannion. Laremy Tunsil, the projected top pick before Tennessee traded down, is set to lose at least $1.5 million on his rookie contract as a result of these trades. Also, the P*triot’s still don’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. Also, they lost Tom Brady for the first four weeks of the season, including their Sunday Night Football home opener where Chris and Al will have to talk about Brady being out because he’s a cheater even though they don’t want to talk about Brady’s history of cheating.

Now, for everyone who submitted on Pick Is In, tonight is also judgement day for you. That’s right, click below to open the official [DFO] Draft Challenge Prediction Board, turn on the television, and get ready to weep.
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Horatio Cornblower

Ian Rapaport looks exactly like someone who would tweet from inside the temple just before a funeral.

Which he actually did during Myra Kraft’s funeral.

Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Oh shit, excellent idea! I’ve got banana chocolate chip in the freezer!

Also parts of three hookers, but that’s another story entirely.

Smithchez

How the fuck you doin boys?! Long time no komment. I’m psyched for the Jets to continue their established history of draft success and select a fresh corpse from the local morgue in the first round.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welcome back! Denver is excited to have your cast offs.

The Mighty Feklahr
Brocky

Yeah…. still not going to pretend I care about peyton

Duchess

“I can’t wait to fine this kid’

– Goodell on Elliots half shirt.

litre_cola

So Fitzpatrick would rather not play football than play for the Jets? Wow, he must have a fallback plan. Anyone know where he went to school?

Horatio Cornblower

Yale if I remember correctly.

The Mighty Feklahr

Guys, I think this Smirnoff Malt Liquor Moscow Mule may be the thing I have been looking for all of my life. Dor sho gha!

The Mighty Feklahr

THE CAN IS COPPER COLOURED

WCS

Fuckin’ aliens. #Trump2016 #BuildTheInterstellarWall

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know someone that would have loved this red carpet:

litre_cola

Red Carpet? I know the Ginger Hammer thinks he is God, but this is the stupidest thing I have seen them do. Seriously.

Wait, the fuckwits lining the red carpet are the stupidest things I have ever seen in the NFL.

Duchess

Is Idiot idiotic causeTV loves idiots?

King Hippo

I dunno, maybe the moms really enjoy it? If so, then whatevs.

Duchess

I’m like a kid in the candy store
– Grumblelord.

Duchess

ok who is this annoying blonde on NFLN?

King Hippo

the return of Melissa Stark!

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s all blonde and gray and sparkly.
An oddly satisfying combination.

King Hippo

lithe and good shoulders, I am on board

Duchess

I don’t like to hate on her… After all shes doing a job but damn is she needs to lay off the coke to supplement her perkiness in the future.

King Hippo

It’s important to pace oneself with coke ,, ppl forget that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve rolled into my local mellow mushroom (hate the neighborhood but love the pizza and beer options, shut up, Blax, I already gave up on Passover this year) and have started in on. Six Point Bengali Tiger on draft. Anyone had the Deschutes Fresh Squeeze and want to talk me into that over a Souther Tier 2X IPA (one of my faves) next?

King Hippo

Man, Nkemdiche seems like an awesome dude. I REALLY want him to fall to the Donks now.

And am I just high, or is Michael Irvin (selfie stick aside) less grating than usual tonight?

Moonbatting Average

Is this where we draft red carpet MILFs?

litre_cola

Oooh the 70’s.

litre_cola

Oh Mayock!!!! How I mithhed you!!!

Moonbatting Average

First 4 picks:
Goff
Wentz
Tunsil
Manziel

You saw it here first

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Seems Legit

Duchess

Man people really need to stop listening to that homeless guy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Walked past a hookah bar in DC and saw some dudes in Bills jerseys clearly ready for the draft. Let’s do this!

Duchess

Mayock with the whitest way possible of saying “Game recognizes game”

King Hippo

you can see why he’d avoid “recognizes”

King Hippo

Ronnie Lott: Big deal, cut it off, he’s got another knee!

New game: Draft a method of death for Chris Berman.

Tetanus infection from the rusty razor we used to cut off his genitals.

Moonbatting Average

Propecia overdose

King Hippo

fire ants up his dickhole?

Leather asphyxiation

King Hippo

wow, Jimbo be tiny

Duchess

Wentz’s mom sounds like she has had a few MIcheladas… that’s what they drink in North Dakota correct?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s why they care so much about the Mexican border in North Dakota

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jim Kelly, and it’s not funny, man.

Moonbatting Average

Who’s this steakhead on NFLN who talks entirely out of the right side of his mouth?

The Mighty Feklahr

That poor fucking idiot kid in the Cutler jersey.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why, cause he’s succeptible to whooping cough and rubella?

King Hippo

switch to menthols, cure ya right up!

Duchess

Dear lord not only have the players been handled but their parents have been handled and coach on how to answer stupid questions.

King Hippo

aaaannnnnd here comes Carson Wentz, in boring white people clothes. Except wearing sneakers with his suit, like a 90-year old man. I have really shitty feet, but even I don’t do THAT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Mighty Feklahr

I see that!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

He needs traction so he can dodge all the batteries.

So, ESPN or NFLN?

Cyanide or arsenic?

King Hippo

If I could have JUST Tirico and Kiper (even though he’s a smarmy know-it-all) I would watch ESPN. But alas…no…so NFLN

JustStopDude

It’s 43f outside. A constant wind from the north.

I am about to set fire to a park trashcan for warmth.

And these 6 year olds can’t turn a fucking double play! I GOT 50 BUCKS ON THIS DAMN IT!!!

King Hippo

Like I says, when in doubt ALWAYS SET A FIRE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jim Tomsula wants to know what park you’re in, and promises to bring a bottle of Night Train.

Duchess

I am finding it harder and harder each year to watch the fake smiles on peoples faces while asking dumb questions to dumb athletes.

The Mighty Feklahr

I need to think of a topical discussion beer to pick up before this Boo Fest of Goodell commences. I wonder if the Tobacco Outlet has Allagash White?

Duchess

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS RED CARPET SHIT?

Duchess

You know fantasy football commercials make me sick. They make guys all one dimensional “Oh we only talk about sports” har har har… Hey we like to talk about that nice rack on the woman at the supermarket or how great those yoga pants made her ass look.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it in yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“Sadly, no.”

-Damp Sleeping Bag-infused craft beer

King Hippo

this is like the Oscar’s red carpet show, but for black fashion. MUCH more interesting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

With the #6 pick overall…the Baltimore Ravens…defer until the 2nd half.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

NFLN is showing tweets, like the golden “Tunsil is going 1st round for sure”

Jesus FUCK what is wrong with America.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

/looks at success of Trump’s campaign

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“what is wrong with America.”

[rest of the world runs out of finger and toes in less than a minute]

herodotus450

To be fair, “too awesome” takes 3 fingers all on its own.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Better accuracy than Kiper.

herodotus450

There’s just no drama left for the draft. We’ve already had the greatest 1-2 pick disparity (Manning-Leaf), the biggest reach (Jets, Mike Nugent) and that was also the winner of biggest Jets Booooournsing. What titles are left to be claimed?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Every year holds out the hope for a Biggest Draft Bust to (finally) unseat Ryan Leaf. Or was it Jamarcus Russell?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Factory of Sad….El Beisbol edition.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There will never be a bigger bust than Jamarcus Russell, both literally and figuratively.

herodotus450

If you’re talking first round picks then consider that cleveland usually screws up two first rounders (Thomas, Quinn; ???, Manziel) so combined they are bigger than–oh wait no, still not bigger that Jamarcus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I’m just here…to beat Marino’s Wonderlic.

scotchnaut

[cowers] “Please, no more!”

-Marino’s Wonderlic

King Hippo

+1 Isotoner comercial

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Timothy Leary’s butt crack never looked so amazing…

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, guys, is there a football-related thing going on today?

The Mighty Feklahr
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

The draft is the truest test of any relationship. I mean, a significant other can almost always get why one would enjoy watching a sporting contest, even if they don’t derive pleasure from it personally. But large men on the auction block for THREE FULL DAYS while blowhards we have no respect for bloviate senselessly about same…that can be a little hard to swallow.

But GODDAMN IT’S FANTASTIC ,, AMIRITE??

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was gonna give you a “Meh”.
But you combined “large men on the auction block” with “hard to swallow”, soooooo….
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/06/you-are-awesome-reaction-gif.gif

scotchnaut

Would it be okay if I changed all of my answers?

JustStopDude

I’m in rural md watching an under 12 girls softball game for my birthday. I need updates and humor you fucks!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would ask foar photos, but that would be wrong.

JustStopDude

Stupid sexy Megan’s Law….

King Hippo

“LUCKY! Oh wait, you said GIRLS. nvm”

– M. Trestman

scotchnaut

So sweet that they thought of running around for you on your special day!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Mighty Feklahr

True story: There is a group of nesting predator birds nesting in Iowa City that haven’t been seen in Iowa since the Cubs last won the World Series.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

We also haven’t had a large meteor (or something) airburst over Siberia since the Cubs last won. Is that what you want? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunguska_event

The Mighty Feklahr

test (it’s been a while)

http://i.imgur.com/8eXoxQ4.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

So is it too late to change my picks?
/asking for a friend
comment image

King Hippo

LD would make a great NFL commisioner. WHY NOT A MENSCH?

Hey Chosen Commentists, did I use that right?

The Mighty Feklahr

That is impressive gritty hustle on that data cumpilation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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