So Long Skip

So Skip Bayless is leaving TV forever and ever and ever, huh?  Oh, he’s just going to Fox Sports?  Well, 6 of one, I guess.

Anyhoo, Skip Bayless, for those not of the work at home or unemployed set, is one half of the “screaming morons” partnership that has entertained morons on First Take every morning for what seems like a zillion years.  You could always be assured that, as soon as Mike&Mike finished their genial banter and soft rock opinions, Skip and Steven A Smith would be there to really ruin your morning.

Have you ever liked something in sports?  Like, really saw something that made you smile?  Maybe a Steph Curry crossover, or a great catch by Megatron, or Bryce Harper hitting a 400 foot bomb and celebrating?  Well, you’re wrong, apparently.  First Take, and indeed, the entire culture of ESPN, is conditioned to let you know that sports has unwritten rules, you don’t know them, and you’re watching sports wrong.

That’s what I never understood about ESPN’s “Embrace Debate” philosophy.  Debate is healthy, and leads to breakthroughs and compromise.   ESPN has led to morons yelling over each other about how a bat flip or touchdown celebration will ruin our children.  Really, the hell with children.  Children need to learn that there are people who are better than them, and those people get to rub your nose in it.

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Fuck Skip Bayless.  Just, fuck him.  Along with Steven A., nobody has ever said as many rage-inducing things television about sports.  This asshat has tried to out Troy Aikman, tried to discredit the most awesome basketball player of our time, LeBron James, he said Kobe was a better pitchman after the rape charges because he had some “sizzle”, he made me like Richard Sherman and Jalen Rose, who destroyed him.

He is a man to be admired in a certain light, though.  He has taken an ability to say stupid things louder and faster than almost anyone else and turned it into a seven-figure job on TV.  In terms of being a job creator, he has really helped create a whole industry of screaming gibbons, throwing their feces at each other on television.  For that, I’ll never forgive him.  I hope he burns in hell (or ends up unwatched on Fox Sports forever).  I hope he has to carpool with Colin Cowherd.