Your Friday The 13th Open Thread

Today I bring you an open thread from the future, where it is already Friday the 13th in DFO’s Adelaide bureau, but only the waning hours of the 12th in our Wichita headquarters. I can report that nothing unlucky has happened yet, but based on my understanding of theoretical physics, there’s still time for me to disappear from all photographs if one of you makes out with my mom.

Tonight in the NHL playoffs, the Ice Stillers face off with the Ice Bucs in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Pittsburgh is the heavy and deserving favorite, but the way Tampa has been playing, I expect a long and nasty series. Friday the 13th curses offer no clue as to the winner, but both Nick Bonino and Cedric Paquette are advised to step lightly.

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WCS

Hawthorn was up, 45-42, to start the third. It’s now 85-45 with 4:26 left in the third.

litre_cola

It is windy my friend. Oh and the dockers are shit.

laserguru

I should have bought that damn bagel.

Unsurprised

San Andreas is gloriously insane.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I keep hearing good things. I’ve gotta see it..

Unsurprised

It’s on HBO.

Brocky

It got a bad rap before it ever had a chance. I loved it.

Certain parts, more than others, but yeah

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My roommate has apparently never seen Star Wars, so I quickly started educating her.

Her future husband will thank me. Hopefully in whiskey.

litre_cola

Or his sister.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

JustStopDude

Tis a good night.

Feels like a dislocated my left hip. My lower back is on fire. I got enough alcohol on my breath I could melt a steel beam with my breath and a lighter, and I got a lovely bird from Poland sleeping in my bed.

Its like one of those fucking annoying coffee commercials but it involves hardcore S&M…

laserguru

Don’t look at us for forgiveness.

Tap that ass!

You bad motor scooter.

JustStopDude

We both need some time to recover.

The one benefit of spina bifida, I guess along with almost always being a bottom if you are lazy, is the inability to finish early. The downside is that if I sneeze incorrectly, I am down for the count for a fucking week.

I have seriously, and this is not a joke, thrown out my back with a hiccup and pissed myself from the pain.

Unsurprised

What he said. You may as well dislocate both hips.

laserguru

litre_cola

Well the DFO AFL comp has everyone tipping the same teams through 3 games.

theeWeeBabySeamus
litre_cola

Gotta say Rusty Cage is where it is at.

Unsurprised

Hello…

laserguru

HI!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bonjour mon frere!!!!!!

litre_cola

Salut

laserguru

litre_cola

If you are watching. Fremantle is going to get destroyed right now.

laserguru

goddammit it.

litre_cola

Sorry I arrived late but had date night, then ate some thc banana bread but how did the soundgarden talk start? Fucking fantastic.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I believe the esteemed Mr Hippo, esq, got the Soundgarden theme off the ground.
The rest of us followed dat Hippo arse in awe.

laserguru

There’s a little bit of symmetry.
Rage begat Zac.
Rage begat this.

Posted many times but never rejected.

WCS

If I were drinking, I’d be all on board the Soundgarden train. The Vitamin X is starting to kick in.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WAKE UP ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!

laserguru

Are you with me WCS?

Let’s take a look at those pupiles.

theeWeeBabySeamus

(soory, Soundgarden seems to bring out my inner angst filled homicidal introvert)
Fell on Black Days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySzrJ4GRF7s

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe someday I’ll share my chemical addled remembrances of love and groping (and maybe moar) to the backbeat of Black Hole Sun. Ah, I’m verklempt.
Even the Hippo’s nevar hearded THAT one.
(there’s also a sequel…or maybe prequel….regarding the film Natural Born Killers….chick I was dating at the time was kinda freaky. Hey Hippo, this is the mother of THE daughter….now you understand)

theeWeeBabySeamus
laserguru

I wallowed in the blood and mud like all the other pigs.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Superunknown is an amazing album, but I’ve always loved Badmotorfinger more.

I blame this song.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tyOC6LtvDZY

King Hippo

MOAR:

laserguru

Still a favorite.

King Hippo

My fave lyric combo, fo so:

Kill your health and kill yourself
And kill everything you love
And if you live you can fall to pieces
And suffer with my ghost

King Hippo

perhaps my very favourite song to pass out to…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just when I think we can’t be friends anymore, you go and do…..this.
(plus Chris Cornell….what a rack, eh?)

King Hippo

hey, he’s allergic to fabrics!

King Hippo

The gal on the keyboards (Katie) is still my ideal lady:

King Hippo

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I’m CRUNK

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay Crunk!!!!
I’m about to be, fwiw.

laserguru

And I respond….

laserguru

To which DJ Taj responds,

How the fuck did I get stuck on radio detail?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I made it home from Dulles after balls didn’t show up.

Haven’t slept in my own bed in nine nights, so I’m racking out. Peace, all.

laserguru

Sleep fast BFC!

King Hippo

This darkwave classic was the anthem to a gal I was supposed to fuck post-divorce. SIGH. Puts forefinger L against forehead.

King Hippo

Time to be Friday night creepy as fuck:

laserguru

I personally would have gone this route.

laserguru

DJ Taj suggests.

King Hippo

me rikey. good Merseysiders

laserguru

I will not go quietly

theeWeeBabySeamus
King Hippo

A GODDAMNED STAR

laserguru

DJ Taj steps to the plate.

His first musical selection:

laserguru

Yes that Rick Nillson.

laserguru

I’m here this evening for one reason and one reason only.

I’m here to save your soul!

/booooo

I’m here to enlighten you and bring you joy and happiness!

//crickets

What if I told you I could take away your worries and your fears?

//cautious optimism

What if I told you that you can be brought to a higher state and life would mean something?

/slow clap

What if I told you that I can HEAL you tonight brethren? Take you to the promised land. Can I get an amen?

/amen! (why do I want ramen all of a sudden?)

I can take you there! I can get you to the promised land! All you need to believe in is the power!
/YES
AND THE GLORY!

//FUCK YES!!

Jesus, that’s a hard buildup to follow.

Lou Reed ladies and gentlemen.

laserguru

Fun fact!

I’m actually an ordained minister who can perform weddings.

Wrap that shit around your motherfucking heads.

Muthafuckas!

King Hippo

Church of Satan? TELL ME it’s Church of Satan!!!

laserguru

I’m actually the ordained brother “right” and I go by Father right.

But you ain’t far from the truth.

And the children sing.

King Hippo

wha? I thought it were the left hand path??

Anyway, time to start matchmaking so yeah right can do some hitchin!!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This is something I’ve been meaning to do.

King Hippo

That LA sunset on the Dodgers’ broadcast is beautiful. I get why peeps pay out the asshole to live there.

ballsofsteelandfury

Have they shown the women?

King Hippo

you didn’t have to rub it in

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PHRASING!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You guys haven’t seemed interested before, but anyone want to pick me up at Dulles? I’ll be there before midnight.

ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

Always.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to go be unconscious in my bed. “Sleep” I’ve heard it called. Best of nights y’all!

laserguru

Nite Dok.

Doktor Zymm

Want.

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too, but I have a feeling we are talking about different things…

Gratliff

ALL THE BOARDING

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

With a two point conversion

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Did BFC really nail this morning’s Geelong-Adelaide to the exact winning margin?!? Holy shit!

We’ve got a ringer in the group!

ballsofsteelandfury

And Blax only missed by one!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait, I did?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup! You are in first place for the Round!

Doktor Zymm

If I didn’t love my condo, and enjoy my job, I would get the fuck out of the Midwest. There are plenty of excellent people here, but the overall culture is basically the 1950’s with way more pre-marital sex and a larger selection of whiskeys.

laserguru

That’s the best definition I’ve ever read on the Midwest.

/3 year resident of Illinois and Iowa

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t see the problem

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget the gravy!

Doktor Zymm

I’ve actually only had gravy here once or twice, and it’s been on sub-par biscuits.

ballsofsteelandfury

I forget that Chicago is north of the Gravy/Cheese line…

Doktor Zymm

Yet south of the Poutine line….which is odd, since Poutine is the marriage of the two with fried potato.

laserguru

I seem to remember a lot of cheese.

Doktor Zymm

It’s true, and it’s both excellent, and a temptation to a life of obesity.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a dood on this plane wearing a Corona Light Hockey sweater…and he’s sitting in first class.

bourb0nblues

Is murder still a crime?

King Hippo

not over international waters?

Doktor Zymm

Just assume his father-in-law bought him the seat, and he’s on the way to being murdered by his father-in-law for drunkenly marrying the old-money daughter in Vegas.

Old School Zero

Well, I just did a thing and ordered a whole mess of stuff to build a survival kit. In case of the Cascadia subduction earthquake, global warming, or Cleveland winning a Super Bowl.

Doktor Zymm

So…how many years until you host your own poorly lit Youtube video, giving your manifesto while wearing a turtleneck out of season?

Old School Zero

Minus-three?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Rank these events from most to least likely.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have camping, hiking and hunting stuff too.

Doktor Zymm

Civ VI is coming. Expect me to be really boring and/or make weird football-civ analogies in october.

Gratliff

Only 4 expansions until it’s the best strategy game of all time!

Doktor Zymm

I would contend that I’m a better presidential candidate than Trump, based solely on my ability at Civ

King Hippo

I would contend that, based solely on the fact that you are NOT Donald Trump. Even if’n I knew nothing MOAR about ya.

Gratliff

HAHAHA! Doc is an ass

Gratliff

Backup goalie curse is in effect here, right?