This is probably the best day in the auto racing calendar. The day starts off with the Monaco Gran Prix
which (/looks up polesitter) Daniel Ricciardo should win, continues with the 100th edition of the Indianapolis 500 (watch out for the gravy-related yellow flags)
And then finishes with the NASCAR Coca Cola 600, the longest race on the NASCAR schedule.
If you can watch all three without falling asleep at any point, you are a better person than me.
Grab an alcoholic beverage, fluff up those pillows, and enjoy the day! And tell us about it in the comments!
Even Pit Road’s not safe!
Pregnant wife has turned into a mean and hysterical lunatic the past few days. Just 67 more days to go (give or take). . . Just 67 days to go (give or take).
Hey, did WCS’s wife give birth? I don’t think I’ve seen him on here lately
Yup. As far as we know, so far so good.
WCS has a little girl. Get ready for 67 days of hell. Late-stage hormones are a bitch. Nod and smile a lot.
Just say, “You’re right. I’m wrong. I’m sorry.”
You don’t have to mean it, you just have to say it.
Last I heard from him (a day or so ago) everyone was doing great.
Pretend she’s Jabba The Hutt and indulge her every food craving. That’s how I got thru it two times.
/#foodgood
Be sure not to slip up and actually CALL her Jabba the Hutt, however.
You will be murdered.
http://i0.wp.com/hooniverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/53162-Cannonball-Run-boobs-gif-Adri-D6h8.gif?resize=343%2C190
This one is for Scotchy
If that trooper is Valerie Perrine my day is complete.
It is. You are welcome.
Sage Crashes-Claims He Ran Out of Thyme! Formula 1 Official Rosemary Cilantro Vows To Investigate New “Super Fuel”.
Fuck everything. Trying is for suckers. Why bother?
http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/bukowski-grave-e1361771067336.jpeg
The DFO Memorial Day Weekend Plan:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JmNYHEROuSc/VRWPmNHLKEI/AAAAAAAAn58/q4aDDNkPrGY/s1600/DM.gif
Shit…can’t believe I’ve failed to post this one yet. Pretty much favorite song of theirs, in spite of how overplayed it was there for a while.
Garbage – Special
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raRGnueg8Lo
We all skipped 2 of my Top 5:
Garbage – Milk
https://youtu.be/y14Kp1DitpE
And:
Garbage – Sleep
https://youtu.be/4lUCz1u48q8
To that Cincinnati kid that fell into the gorilla pit:
Garbage – Right Between the Eyes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxU_YnrqGzU
Adrienne Barbeau! When I saw this my incipient manhood rumbled a wee bit.
https://youtu.be/WiYvQy0Jees
http://www.adrants.com/images/toonces_aaa.jpg
“Dog at five o’clock! Engage!”
CRASH ALERT! CRASH ALERT!
CRASH ALERT! UPDATE-
-He didn’t have his hands at 10 to 2 on the steering wheel.
But are they there NOW?
It’s probably beer o’clock for him now and for the rest of the day.
http://9buz.com/content/uploads/images/October2014/cat-driving-a-car-and-yelling.JPG
This dummy looks eerily like my dumb cat. Who would totally do this if she was given half a chance. She likes to get into tight spaces, and she has an obsession with going out into the garage as it is.
“Yer gonna need to replace that rad hose right meow.”
smgdh
And also laughing. That was so bad it was good.
SHUT UP, I’M DRIVING!
DAD ARE WE THERE YET?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_f98opUNuVXc/TLHFYUKhBgI/AAAAAAAAS_g/KyDoHq_ecbU/s1600/Car+cats+2.jpg
Half a dozen cats loose inside a moving car. What can possibly go wrong?
NASCAR add things to keep the racers safe to the point where they’re about five years from the cars filling up with the safety-foam thing from Demolition Man when they crash.
But INDYCAR still has the drivers heads exposed to the outside.
http://media.giphy.com/media/n3dYnINlBdftS/giphy.gif
Listening to the Cards game on KMOX (and the rain against my windowpanes), reading a new Nixon book. Then I might as well stick my head in the oven, I reckon.
/Hippo hates teh summer
Spill the title, mister.
“Being Nixon: A Man Divided” by Evan Thomas
Interesting quote by Henry Kissinger on page 10, interposed in the discussion of Tricky Dick’s childhood: “Can you imagine what this man would have been like if somebody had loved him?”
I stand by my assertion that Richard Nixon and LBJ are the two most fascinating Americans of the 20th century. So very complex, personally and politically.
I don’t know that I could narrow it down to only two. But both would certainly land prominently in my top echelon.
I am one of the maniacs who have read every word of the Robert Caro LBJ series. Riveting stuff, and we haven’t even gotten to the nitty-gritty yet.
He better not die before he finishes.
If Caro passes I think his wife will finish it up.
/thing that LBJ and RMN had in common? Access to endless brown bags full of cash that got them the votes/influence they wanted/needed
You REALLY need to move to Oregon!
I have an idea on how to add another race into Memorial Day Sunday.
Road Course from Indianapolis Motor Speedway to Charlotte Motor Speedway. Its only less than 500 miles.
*600
I guarantee you someone has already done that “unofficially”.
“The Smart Car Less-Than 600” has oodles of potential. Put a bunch of them out in regular Monday holiday traffic and see what happens. Winner gets a solar panel.
Are you suggesting a Cannonball Run-ish race for all the marbles? That would be awesome.
YES!
God, I watched that SO MANY TIMES as a 9-12 year old. How I loved first getting HBO.
Ditto.
And also, I really miss Dom DeLuise. He and Burt could always make me laugh.
We’re going to be posting pictures of cats in cars all day, aren’t we? I’m OK with that.
http://www.calautomuseum.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/cat-in-car.jpg
Yeah probably.
It’s amazing how much shit comes up when you google “cats in cars”, eh?
Toonces??
Scroll down.
Already did it. Was surprised it wasn’t there yet.
Stupid Baylor car! YOU’LL NEVER WIN THE BIG 12 WITH THAT KIND OF EFFORT!
Unsafe exit from Pit Road? Did he take a shortcut through the grandstands for something?
Just saw highlights of the ’85 Bears giving the Cowboys their worst shutout loss in franchise history.
I don’t know how to feel about that.
Montoya crashed? Inconceivable!
That’s good!
ACCIDENT ALERT! ACCIDENT ALERT!
http://www.catster.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/kittens-car-shutterstock_136515128.jpg
Uh, that’s obviously a pic from a rally race not a Formula 1 contest. Get it together Seamus!
Well Memorial Day Weekend has gotten off to a bad start:
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2016/05/28/police-child-taken-hospital-after-falling-into-gorilla-pen/85095094/
Wish they would have tried tranquilizing it first. The gorilla, not the boy.
They said that the gorilla would’ve reacted aggressively to the tranquilizer and the kid could’ve been hurt.
I guess there was a chance of that but why not try it and have that other marksman at the ready with the headshot? Just a wee bit of thought instead of the “Let’s shoot it!” response might have the end result of two lives being saved.
Ah yes, reverse Darwinism.
Stupid kid falls into enclosure, gets to live and reproduce anyway.
Rare gorilla takes the heat instead.
Yep. At the risk of sounding like a callous asshole we have no problem manufacturing stupid kids.
That’s the problem with us playing God; we get in the way of Natural Selection.
Callused asshole? And all this time I felt bad for you because of your knee.
#Gorillalivesmatter
Seriously, that’s some bullshit.
I feel a bit bad cheering for the Baylor car…
/#notallracecardrivers
You know what would make the Indy 500 250 times better? Cats. Lots and lots of cats. In the cars, in the pit, on the track, in front of the mics, parachuting in from planes, etc., etc.
There is no such thing as too much pu….
/electroshocked by Fearless Leader for being too vulgar.
That made me spit Monster Energy drink thru my nose.
Thanks for that.
Scotchy’s right.
http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1072/1071622.large.jpg
Garbage – Run Baby Run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEBSr_ZaewY
Garbage – #1 Crush
https://youtu.be/PX7LLua5NCM
She is so sexy in polka dots.
And pretty much everything else also.
Garbage – Begging Bone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16-N9oVKhTg
Garbage+auto racing=GT1 soundtrack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1I9kAgO4HQ
New Garbage out in less than two weeks. I’m all goose pimply with anticipation. And I want to go on record as saying that Shirley still sounds (and looks) pretty goddamned good.
Garbage – Empty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSa_hbutFt0
I think that Garbage is the last band I saw in concert. So fucking good!
I saw them in the way way way back machine during the 2.0 tour. God I’m old.
But yeah, great show.
Shit, now I’m getting all nostalgic and junk.
Garbage – When I Grow Up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8
You and me both, buddy, you and me both.
And for the record, I think Shirley is fabulous with any hair color. But that pink hair in the vid for the new song gives me a raging semi all by itself.
Oooof.
As one of the resident old bastards and music fan, you’re never too old to go to shows.
Never.
That show on Friday night was one of the best I’ve seen in years and I’m not slowing down anytime soon.
There’s good music out there it just doesn’t all make it to the radio or to mainstream pop culture.
As long as I can get tickets without going through Ticketmaster, I’m good.
Ticketmaster is worse than Trump going as Hitler for Halloween.
Garbage gets an autoRECtion from me. Thanks for posting Seamus.
Totally my pleasure. BELIEVE me. 😉
Those jet planes literally flew past me a minute ago.
Where you at in Indy?
Actually about an hour away from the track.
But what if I’m not an ambiturner?
Who’d a thunk that there are a lot of Indy Car Racers from Indiana?
I wasn’t paying close enough attention; there may have been only 4 from Indiana – but 2 of them were from Noblesville (pop. 51,969). There are also 2 from Bogotá, Colombia (pop. 6.763 million).
WHAT’S UPPPPPPP
Are you ready for some cars going in circles? !?
OH YEAH. Too hot, stayed home. Scared of snake pit people.
FYI, due to yesterday’s DFO sign-in issues, I wasn’t able to write the AFL Beat. I’ll crank it out (phrasing) tonight and post it tomorrow.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/905a06a2c356899a53b1ae8812220165/tumblr_mog1anWJYd1sqhz72o1_1280.png
I give you Kids in the Hall…
https://youtu.be/uIqn3Dzs77g
Bell Biv Devoe…
Damn, I was only two and a half hours late to be the first to make the Archer/BBD joke. Good hustle!
So, Hamilton wins in a pass in the pits? How exci……zzzzzzzzzzzzzx
I’m killing it on “Cash Cab”. I’ve doubled my money on the video bonus each time!
I really wanted to find the cab in my high school days, but apparently my health teacher was on once. I haven’t seen that one.
LET’S DO THIS!
/what are we doing?
There was no comment to like. I just like you.
I liked the fact that you like him.